A/N : Backstory chapter.

" It was a rainy day, I was 12 years old and that day changed my life forever. "

Jimin's voice wavered, as he was doing his best to keep himself together.

Y/N places a hand on his back, gently stroking it as she evidently sees his internal struggle.

*Flashback*
8 years ago.
Jimin P.O.V

I opened my eyes to the sound of the pitter patter of little raindrops tapping my window.

" It's raining? " I said to myself while rubbing my eyes.

At that moment, the door to my room opened and I was met with the maid.

" Mr. Park, your mother has laid your clothes out for you. Today's a big day!"

I smile and nod.

" Yes Hilda.. I really hope uncle wins this race.. but it's raining! Shouldn't they call it off? "

" Well, the council hasn't said anything, so the race will commence without any interruption. Now come! You must get dressed. "

*Time skip*
A/N P.O.V

" Jimin hurry up, we're gonna be late!"

Jimin's face twists in annoyance at the voice that urges him to hurry up, for he knew that his mother had other reasons for her urgency.

" Oh mom, can you wait? People aren't gonna notice you coming a few minutes late, because that's all you care about right? "

" Jimin you do not talk to- "

At that moment, the sound of a car horn pierced through the air, and Jimin's mother glared at him as she took his hand and pulled him under the umbrella.

" I'll deal with you later. " She says in a low voice as Jimin enters the back seat.

The car starts moving and Jimin stares out at the rain that only seemed to get stronger in the last few minutes as the large rain drops flowed down the window, leaving a blurry world for him to look at.

Raindrops or not, Jimin always felt that his world was blurred, his purpose unclear, and his emotions a mist of confusion. But that all went away when he was with his uncle. His dear uncle, the only decent member in Jimin's family.

Jimin would often visit him, for they grew immensely fond of each other. His uncle's name was Han-Jae and Jimin felt the love that he was deprived of when he was with his uncle.

Han-Jae had always wanted children of his own, but never had them for he never found his true love. So, he adopted a little girl. He was broken down for a long time, but when Jimin was born, Han-Jae took it upon himself to care for the boy like he was his own, because he knew that his brother was incapable of being a father.

All Jimin's parents ever cared about was their status. Everything Jimin did was a point added to their scoreboard of stature in society, and that's the only reason they appreciate him when he does something recognizable in life.

It took Jimin a few years to find out because their true side only revealed themselves when Jimin did anything that would stain their perfect life.

Han-Jae had a flair for horse riding, and became a champion not only in their academy, but also in the state level races. Han-Jae's dream was to win the national level race and he practiced hard all his life to achieve it.

Jimin looked up to him and kept his uncle at the highest position in his life. Jimin wanted to build a stronger relationship with his uncle, so he asked his uncle to teach him about the art of horse riding.

Everyday, at the break of dawn, they would practice together, and Han-Jae would always be there to help him and teach him little tricks to win races.

Jimin would often confide in Han-Jae about what he felt at home, and so Han-Jae became more of a father figure and a friend, someone very dear to Jimin's heart.

The car came to a grinding halt as they stepped out and walked to the gigantic stadium from the parking lot. The rain had subsided but left large puddles of water behind here and there.

They went up to their seats but Jimin decided to go visit his uncle and see if he's alright. Jimin walks to his stable to see him all dressed and ready, brushing his horse Major.

Jimin hugs him from behind and Han-Jae smiles.

" Hey kiddo! " He says, ruffling Jimin's hair.

" How are you feeling? This is the national finals after all. "

" Why, thank you for reminding me! "
Jimin laughs and Han-Jae turns to continue brushing his horse.

" Well, I'm nervous, especially because of the rain, but I've done this before.. so I can do it now too. Of course, I'm sure my rival would feel the same " he says, pointing to the opposite stable.

Jimin turns around to see another man in the stable, brushing his black horse. When their eyes met, the man scoffed and rolled his eyes.

" I hope you win today, uncle. You've practiced a lot for this. "

" Well, I hope too kiddo. Just gotta give it my all. And I expect to see you here one day as well. I'll be cheering you on from the stands as I watch you cross that finish line, miles ahead from all these amateurs. You have talent Jimin, and I want you to use it. If I win this race, my dream will be over and so I will have to find a new one, and it just might be watching you win the way I train you. Jimin, the world is cruel but you have to push through it all. Use the anger and convert it into determination. An angry rider will never win a race. You have to be in the right state of mind. I'm happy you're here, because I'm sure by seeing your face in the stands, I'm gonna win this race. "

Before Jimin could reply, the sound of slow clapping was heard as the man from the opposite stable now entered, slowly walking towards the two.

" What a speech! Unfortunately, actions speak louder than words Han-Jae. Just leave already, your presence in this place is a disgrace to the art of riding. I pity the boy. "

He says, sarcasm and arrogance dripping with every word that leaves his mouth.

" Well, like you said, actions speak louder than words. So I suggest you put your money where your mouth is, and walk outta here. I hope you have a nice view of my ass when u see me cross that finish line. "

The man scoffs and says,
" Oh we'll see about that, loser "
And gives him a shove.
" That horse of yours looks like a piece of shit. Just like you. "

Jimin just stood aside, not knowing what to do.
" Fu- "
Before he could finish, a loudspeaker announced,
" 15 minutes to the opening of the event. "
The man scoffs and slowly retreats out the compartment.
" See you, sucker " and walks off.

Han-Jae sighs in frustration and turns to Jimin.
" See what I mean when I say the world is cruel? "
Jimin nods and immediately hugged his uncle.
" Don't worry uncle, I'll be there for you and I'll make you happy. "

Han-Jae lets out a little laugh and hugs him back.
" So innocent " he mumbles, and pulls away from the hug.
" Uncle, please stay safe on the track. I love you. "
Those words hit Han-Jae hard, as he controlled himself from crying at the moment.
" Y-yes Jiminie... I love you too. Now you better get going, your mother will be worried. "

Jimin nods and walks out of the compartment, taking one last glance at his uncle with a smile and skipped into the stadium.

His eyes scan the sea of chairs, and they landed on the posh couple that seemed to stand out from everyone else. He sighs and makes his way up and sits down next to his mother.

She turns to him and says,
" So, did you speak to him? "
Jimin nods and replies,
" Yes. I hope he wins this race "
His mother turns away without a reply and scrolls through her expensive phone.
Jimin's eyes fall on the muddy ground and he gasps.
Large slushy puddles were evident on the ground, with workers trying to remove as much water as they can.

They managed to remove the water, but the mud that remained was sludgy and he couldn't comprehend why they would go on with the competition. With his fingers crossed, he prayed that everything would be fine and nothing would happen to his uncle.

After a few minutes, horses lined up with their riders behind the doors of their stalls at the starting line.

Jimin fidgeted in his seat, as he spots his uncle mounting Major. All riders were ready, helmets fastened, clenching their horse's reins as their heartbeats echoed in their ears, and all their life's hard work depended on this one moment.

Han-Jae closed his eyes, and said a small prayer, hoping that the one above would help him get through this race. All the memories of struggle during practice, the criticism he faced, and also the beautiful experiences he had with his horse fueled his desire to win this race.

He bent down to his horse and whispered,
" Major, this is what we have practiced for. Our life depends on this moment boy. We can do this as long as we're together. "
Major hooves the ground and at that moment, the stall doors flew open, and the horses lunged themselves out, starting from a medium trot to a sprinting gallop.

The thundering of hooves split the air as people cheered from the stands and the riders focused on their horses and the finish line.

Jimin stood up and yelled his uncle's name in ecstasy over and over. Jimin's parents glared at him and multiple times tried to make him sit down.
But Jimin didn't care.

The man out there in that race was Jimin's role model, father figure, and more than anything, his best friend. His heart swelled in joy as he saw his uncle slowly bypass each rider, coming up to the third place now.

Jimin yelled his name continuously in joy, cheering him on, and tears flowed down Jimin's cheeks as he watched his uncle achieve the dream he desired.

But one turn was all it took, for his tears of joy to turn to tears of sorrow and his shouts of delight to turn to screams of pain.

As one horse lost its balance, the rest came tumbling down like Dominos and Jimin was there to witness it all.
" HAN-JAE!!!" He screamed as he saw his uncle disappear under the chaos of falling horses and flying dust.

At this point, Jimin's parents were too shocked to stop him from yelling. With their hands clasped around their mouths and their eyes wide open, Jimin's father soon had tears rolling down his cheeks too. Han-Jae was his younger brother after all, and the fact that he witnessed this horrendous event felt like a dozen stabs to his heart.

And out of the dust, a few men managed to dodge the accident and galloping at first place was the man who his uncle had fought with moments ago. Jimin watched in horror as he crossed the finish line with his fists in the air.

He couldn't take it anymore.
Jimin pushed through the bewildered crowd, his tears uncontrollably flowing down his face and his vision blurred. Despite the calls of his parents, the only thing he could think about was his dear uncle.

The security were stunned to see a 12 year old boy, push people aside and run across the sandy ground towards the location of the accident. The security chased him but Jimin was ahead of them.

As the sight of the accident drew nearer, more tears flowed down his face as his heart clenched in pain. Everything had changed in the span of a second and Jimin tried pushing through the medical experts but they wouldn't let him through.

" Please!! That's my uncle in there! I need to know if he's alright! " Jimin yells with a broken voice and puffy eyes. No words could ever justify the pain he was going through at that moment, but the medical team shook their heads.

They knew that this scene was too heart breaking for anyone to witness especially for a 12 year old. But Jimin didn't care. If he wanted to see his uncle, he would do it at any cost.

He pushed through the medical team and stopped at the sight that laid in front of him. 6 horses lay on the ground with 4 riders being dragged aside, as they groaned in pain.

Some horses tried getting up but failed at they were critically injured, many of them with broken legs. Jimin turned to the lady and yelled,
" W-where is my uncle?! "
At that moment, 8-10 men came and lifted a horse that seemed to be unconscious only to find Major underneath.
" Major!! " Jimin yelled and tried to run to the horse but was held back by the lady.

Major neighed loudly as he tried getting up, but Jimin noticed a certain leg that seemed to remain in a direction opposite from the other legs and he covered his mouth with his hands as tears flowed down his face.

He knew that Major would never make it because he remembered his uncle telling him that horses with broken legs are always put down ( which means to put them out of their misery and end the horse's life )

At that moment, Jimin froze as he saw a hand extended out from beneath Major and as they lifted Major off, the horrifying image of his uncle came into sight.

Jimin fell to his knees as the world stopped around him. The rain started to pour down on him again, every drop soaking his clothes and his hair. There he was, his lifeless uncle lying before him, his eyes wide open as his soulless eyes stared through Jimin. He cried until there was nothing left inside but a raw emptiness that nibbles at his insides like a hungry rat.

A doctor slowly walked upto his lifeless body and placed two fingers under his neck. He turned to Jimin with a sad face and shook his head.
" H-he has no pulse... Because his neck is broken. "
Jimin lets out a cry of pain and anger on the field as his parents rush to him and engulf him in their arms.

They knew this time, that Jimin needed all the love he could get and they gave it to him genuinely as they consoled him and rocked him back and forth.
Jimin's father let out muffled cries as well, as the medical team carries Han-Jae's lifeless body with his distorted neck off the ground and into the ambulance.

Jimin knew that there were no more chances. His uncle was gone, and he would never see him again.

*Time skip*

A year later.

A full year after his passing, Jimin is now 13 years old and the mourning had not run it's course.

The heaviness was in his limbs as much as in his mind. Things he used to find funny now only caused a deepening of the pain.

Jimin couldn't get over the fact that he was gone. Thoughts would always run in his mind,

" He should be making his espressos in that damn expensive machine and complaining about the price of eggs. "

" He should be gasping at pictures of beautiful horses on the internet and planning what to spend his future winnings on. "

" He should be gossiping about a K-Drama he watched worse than an old woman. "

" He should be there to hug me goodnight and kiss me before he left for practice. "

" He should be the first person I see as the sun rises, teasing me and working hard as he teaches me all his little secrets and achievements. "

He missed all that. Now there was just a graveyard, a stone that bore his name and his cold bones beneath the soil.

His irises were scarlet threaded and his eyeballs hung heavy in their sockets. His whole body was limp like each limb weighed twice as much as it had before and just moving it about was a slow, painful effort.

" This is what attachment to someone does. When they're gone, you can't get over it. It's painful. The joy with them lasts only a moment, but the sorrow lasts an eternity. Every enjoyable memory, now turned into something that I want to rip out of my mind. Love, those damned four letters have ruined me... And I will never want to feel this way again. "

The sun still shone in the sky, but not for him. The birds sung in bursts of melody, but not for him. For him, there was no more beauty left in the world.

A/N : Wooooooooo this chapter was extremely hard to write. I sat for hours, thinking on how to write this. Ive never written anything like this before so this is my first time writing an emotional chapter.
May not be the best, but I tried!

Love,
Kimmy 😘