I don't have many words, except I am figuring things out as I go along and my plan keeps changing haha.

Enjoy! :)

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Warning: transphobia 

Now, David, Sarah, and Kathryn know the gist of what the strike was about. 

They know that they all felt something on July 18th because that's when the strike started all those years ago in 1899. August 1st was when the compromise was first proposed; August 2nd was when the newsies accepted it and disbanded their union. Of course, there were many, many other details in between. That's the part that they're all still learning about.

However, they are still trying to figure out who they were.

If they can find out who they were.

David knows that he was right in the middle of the action. Whatever was happening, he was in the thick of it. He doesn't like the idea of the newsies being violent in the earlier strike days, though. He prefers how they corrected their methods after the big rally. It's all a lot to take in, but he has to admit, this stuff is actually starting to make some sense. Some how.

Sarah, on the other hand, doesn't exactly feel like she was in the thick of it. The tricky thing is, is that she doesn't know if she was a newsie, or one of the rare girl newsies, or just some random woman/person who watched the strike happen. It's like she's...disconnected from it. But she does know for sure that in some way/shape/form, she was there.

Kathryn feels the most isolated from it all. She feels like she should connect to it all. They know that they were in the thick of the action...but still looking at it from a third perspective? What if she wrote about the strike rather than was in it? The idea excites her. But...she still has some doubt. Except the déjà vu is real for them. So it has to all mean something.

One thing that they all know is that people who have had past lives together are drawn to each other in the next one. So, like it or not, fate has intertwined them all.

And, if they can hone in on the newsies' capabilities to fight against their oppressors...

...They just might be able to stop the forces oppressing them.

It's Wednesday now; and the goal is to have GSA back for sure by next Monday. Tomorrow or Friday at best.

They can't wait.

-----------------------------------

Tony is so out of it, it's not even funny.

It's Wednesday; he should have adjusted to being back in school.

But between the transphobia and no GSA and eating lunch in the commons and everything else, he still just feels like he's in the middle of a whirlwind, not getting a break from any external or internal chaos.

And apparently, it's already starting to show in his work.

This is why pop quizes shouldn't be graded so fast, even if they're low stakes: his parents will see it, and freak.

Maybe today would be a good day to ride the bus instead of having his parents drive him.

Unfortunately, he can't make it out the house without his mom ambushing him. He knows exactly what she's going to talk about.

"Want to explain to me what happened?" she asks in a sharp tone.

Tony sighs. "It's one bad score. And it's literally right there: low stakes. It was just a refresher to see what everyone remembered."

"Yes, but if you do bad on one quiz, even if it's low stakes like you say, that doesn't mean you'll do better on a higher stake one."

Tony just wants to go to school. Or anywhere, really. "Mom, I already told you. One bad grade. I'm fine."

"Are you not putting effort into your work? Are you not trying hard enough?"

That gets him.

Because neurotypicals hold putting in effort in and trying hard enough to too high a standard.

And Tony is doing his best.

Or trying to, at least.

So he slipped once.

And once you slip once, apparently all your history of doing good/okay/greater than okay vanishes into thin air.

But this is what it's like with ADHD: his best doesn't always look like what a neurotypical's best looks like. 

Even if he doesn't get a perfect score, that doesn't mean he's not learning enough, or not putting in the effort.

Why can't she just see that I have ADHD and I will never be her perfect child?

It was only after Tony's therapist reccomended it several times that Tony actually got evaluated for ADHD a couple years ago. It was something he speculated for a while. And even all this time later, his mom still doesn't get it.

Just like she doesn't get Tony wanting to "become transgender," as she puts it.

"I already told you," Tony tells her, still trying to make it out the door, "Just because I don't get all A's, doesn't mean I'm bad. I have time before a real test comes up. Now, please? I need to get to school?"

His mom lets out an exasperated sigh of frustration. "Why must you be this difficult? Why, for once-" she deadnames him- "fai una brava ragazza!"

That's when Tony's breathing hitches.

That phrase.

He hasn't heard it in years. 

It's the bane of his existence.

It tortured him throughout his childhood.

Every time he claimed he wanted his parents to acknowledge their Italian heritage and language, this was not what he meant.

"I'm leaving now," he mutters. "I'll take the bus today."

She calls after him as he reaches the door, deadnaming him once again.

"Non è il mio nome!"he snaps before he slams the door.

Once he goes outside, he takes in a lot of deep breaths and checks the time.

He missed the bus.

And he is not going back inside.

So, trying not cry, he calls Sean.

Sean picks up on the first ring. "Tony? What is it?"

"Wait, aren't you driving?"

"Not in the moment." A beat. "What's up?"

Tony swallows. "Could you come pick me up and drive me to school?"

"I'm sorry, I can't," Sean answers. "For two good reasons: one, I'm about to leave for a dentist appointment; and two, I can't legally drive you until next month."

"Ma dai!" Tony exclaims. This is why he needs his own car.

Then he sighs. If Sean's going to a dentist appointment, then there really is nothing he can do.

"I'll call Nick or Louis then," Tony murmurs. Both of them live close by.

"See you at school, okay? I know for sure I'll be back before lunch starts."

"Alright."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Why can't anything good happen this week?

And so, Tony starts calling Nick.

It's Louis who answers on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Is Nick driving right now?" Tony asks.

"Yeah. Do you need something?"

Tony bites his lip. "Can you ask him if he can come pick me up?"

"He heard that, and he says we're on our way now," Louis answers immediately. He pauses, probably because Nick is saying something. "He says we'll be there in ten minutes, fifteen minutes tops. Are you okay waiting?"

"Yeah," Tony answers. "Thanks."

"Alright then. See you soon."

"Yeah."

I just hope school is better.

-------------------------------------------

Finally, their favorite time of the day: the end of the school day.

This week, the end of the school day means even more to them than it did before.

Now is more brainstorming time.

Today there is drama after school, but they are going to go to this first and drama later, because unfortunately, it can't last as long today as it did yesterday because Mr. Denton has something to attend to shortly, so they get in as much as they can in the time that they are given.

"It doesn't feel right eating in the commons," Charlie comments. "I miss eating in here for lunch."

Everyone agrees with him.

"I wish we could, just to spite them all," Tony adds. "If they weren't actually checking to make sure every student is in fact in the commons."

"What we need to do is figure out who we need to present these ideas to," Mr. Denton suggests. "Whether we should start with student government, or to other staff, maybe even the vice principal. If we get one of them to agree with us, chances are the others will follow. And that will be enough for Mr. Pulitzer to change his decision."

"We could go in that order," Jack responds. "Student government, staff, vice prinicpal. Working up the chain."

"Louis and I know plenty of people involved in student government," Nick adds. "We can start there."

"Do we still need more reasons for why changing this new rule will benefit everyone?" Sean asks.

"Unfortunately, yes," Mr. Denton answers. "We can't just say we want to change it without any reasoning."

Reasoning.

With reasoning comes...

Evidence. Three body paragraphs. Introduction paragraph. Conclusion.

Tony sits up. Surely an essay wouldn't be a bad idea, right?

He must have muttered something about an essay out loud, because Kathryn says, "It would have to be one very convincing essay."

"Have you heard Tony talk?" Sean asks her. "He's a force to be reckoned with."

A smile tugs at his lips. "Thanks, Sean."

"You know I mean it in the best possible way, right? I know you can write a convincing essay on this."

Tony glows at the praise.

He starts forming it in his head. There's a hook, bridge, thesis, and the three body paragraphs: GSA and other clubs, kids with sensory overload, affects on whole atmosphere of the commons and school in general. Then he'll have to write one heck of a conclusion-

"...more than one," Kathryn finishes speaking.

Tony was totally zoned out. What were those first words she said?

"More than one what?" he asks automatically.

"Essays," she answers patiently. "If essays are enough."

"I think we're on to something," Mr. Denton tells them. "I bet by tomorrow, we'll have this all figured out. Unfortunately, I have to go now. I hope you have a good rest of your day, and try not to spend too much time thinking on this. We'll figure it all out together."

They have nothing much to say to that.

And so, they all leave the classroom, all going their separate ways; whether to the drama classroom, to sports, or leaving the school.

This is far from over.

They can't explain it, but...

By doing this, they kind of feel like they're in the process of making their past selves proud.

-------------------------

Tony asked Nonna if he could spend the night with her and Nonno. He has practically everything he needs at their house already; just as long as he has everything he needs for school the next day--which is all in his backpack--he'll be fine. She said yes, as long as he tells his parents. 

He asked her if she could tell them. Without asking any questions--yet--she said yes to that too.

Tony flops down on his bed as soon as he and Nonna come home. He should take his binder off. He is just too mentally exhausted to do anything right now.

The only thing he has the capacity and motivation to do is read the text that just came through from Sean.

Hey, you sounded really stressed on the phone this morning. Just checking in to make sure you're okay <3

Tony smiles. He really appreciates it. He texts back: Yeah, I'm fine now. This morning was NOT fun.

Sean responds immediately. I don't have time right now, but some time when we're face to face we can talk about it, ok?

K, Tony answers.

You know I love you, right?

Tony smiles. Yeah, I think you've mentioned that once or twice or thrice or more

Then he adds: and I love you too <3

K, I really need to go now--my mom's about to drag me away from my phone

That gets Tony to chuckle. Alright talk to you later

And with that, he puts his phone down.

There are a million things going on right now. 99% of those are stressful.

But he has Sean. And Nonna, and Nonno.

He and Nonno are going to watch the horse races soon--he is so excited.

If I make it to then, that is.

He can't think like that. So, for Sean's, Nonna's, and Nonno's sake, he starts thinking just a bit more positive.

First thing's first: take off his binder.

He just needs some time to think before starting homework. He sets a thirty minute timer; he'll start homework then. Or...at least try to.

Back to lying down on his bed, he starts playing Home by Cavetown, letting the opening verse wash over him. This is one of his favorite songs. The words and gentle chords comfort him.

Never has he connected to the lyrics more. Especially the next ones.

I'll cut my hair,

To make you stare.

I'll hide my chest,

And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here.

-------------------------------

So much, yet so little in this chapter.

I always knew I had to end a chapter with modern Race listening to Home by Cavetown with those specific lyrics. And I'm glad I actually got to write that.

Seriously though. It's a great song. 

Cavetown has a lot of other really relatable songs as well.

I took out all of my anger of being told I wasn't trying hard enough when I got one bad grade for a class and wrote it into here. I think that time was when I first started wondering if I had ADHD. Wondering if I had ADHD escalated quickly the following year, and now here I am, without an official-official diagnosis, but 100% sure I have ADHD. Good grades does NOT equal putting in a lot of effort. If I don't get the perfect score, that doesn't mean I don't understand the subject. Why can't we all accept that the way school measures intelligence and learning is messed up and finally try to find a way to fix it?

I got the phrase fai una brava ragazza from Duolingo, and right when I heard it, it was like nails on a chalkboard. Except does anyone know if brava goes definitely before or after ragazza? I'm not entirely sure. I just know that that is NOT something anyone--especially someone like Tony or I--would EVER want to hear.

I've actually heard someone use the phrase "[name's] choice to become transgender" and that made me shut down right away. And the one who said it wasn't even someone who was on the very homo/transphobic side; just on the under-educated side. Why can't people understand we don't choose to "become transgender?" and how that's not how it works? Of course, once I shut down, I literally can't verbalize anything, so I couldn't defend the person who apparently "became transgender," or any other trans folk, or non-binary identities, or myself. And I really regret it. Because it's not a choice. It's who we are. If we don't try to present the way we want to, it hurts us in a way cis people can never understand. We don't choose to "become transgender" or non-binary. We are trans or non-binary.

While I'm at it, there's no set age when someone realizes they aren't cisgender. It's common around early teen years (understandably), but there are some who take decades to figure it out; and AMAB girls who realize long before they even dream about graduating elementary school. Every person is different. And how much or how little gender dysphoria a person has does not indicate how "trans" they are or how non-binary they are. Every one is different. And every gender identity is valid.

Tony wanting to write an essay is inspired kind of by me, who is always ready to write an essay about...anything haha, and how he's always saying things that Sean is like we need more people to hear that.

I don't have much more to say, except things are about to get really interesting...

...And they're going to be better.

Well. For a bit, anyway.

This plot isn't too bad, right?

Please, no homophobia or transphobia, profanities, hate etc in the comment section.

Best,

~Your Beloved Author (who can't wait for people to start realizing that not all of us can neatly fit into the boxes society wants to stuff us in)