Chapter Nineteen

Day 42.

Despite agreeing to the deal with Ahmose under the pretense of reconciliation, I can't find the strength within me to talk to him for the rest of the morning. Silence settles across our camp like thick, stifling fog. Me on one side, and Ahmose on the other. Two hunched figures, reduced to baseless silhouettes by the choking noiselessness and inability to look the other in the eye. Eyes darting up when they think the other isn't looking, only to drop back down the moment the other looks up. Every time I try to open my mouth and pierce the emptiness, the words stick in my mouth like tar, clogging up my throat and drawing dangerously close to choking me the longer the silence extends. Ahmose is no better, staying motionless as a statue, stuck in the same hunched-over position he'd been in when our conversation had ended.

I wasn't sure exactly what it was that was preventing me from breaching the silence — my overwhelming sense of betrayal at all the secrets he kept from me, or my terror that if I started talking, I'd blurt out questions I knew he didn't want to hear. I still couldn't quite wrap my head around his big revelation; me, plain old Kiara Collins, a three-hundred-year old Egyptian princess? The very concept in itself was absurd, illogical, laughable. I wasn't a princess — I wasn't even rich. Sure, my mother earned enough for us to live comfortably, but she barely let me so much as splurge out on an ice-cream, and my father hardly earned enough money to support me when I visited him, let alone let me live like a princess. Not only that, but I knew for a fact that I wasn't over three hundred years old — I was an eighteen-year-old fresh out of high school. How could I possibly have lived for almost twenty times that? The very possibility itself was just ludicrously mind-boggling, and the more that I tried to figure out a logical explanation to it all, the more my brain hurt and the more frustrated I got.

But what was even more ludicrous was the fact that Ahmose kept this from me. He knew, right from the moment he met me he knew who I was, and he didn't tell me. At least his revelation explained one thing: his reaction upon seeing me for the first time in the museum. He wasn't speaking French when he repeated Kasiya — he was saying her name. My name. But that was just about the only thing about this all that made sense. As hard as I tried to figure out where Ahmose was coming from, why he made the decision to keep this a secret, my brain fizzled and spat like a wire shorting out. As hard as I tried, I couldn't come up with one logical explanation for why he kept me in the dark, why he thought it was such a great idea to keep it a secret that I was a big a part of the curse too. I wasn't just a big part of the curse either; I was just as intertwined with the very heart of it as he was. I was the other half of the story. The mysterious hidden variable that had always danced so tantatisingly out of reach. The answer to all the questions I'd been asking ever since I met Ahmose. But now that I knew that answer, I had even more questions. Why did he keep that all from me? Why is he still keeping things from me? What is he so afraid of?

Only, Ahmose didn't want to hear those questions. And he was so determined not to answer them that he was willing to ignore me completely.

I sigh quietly, rubbing a hand over my face and glancing over at Ahmose through my fingers. The silence between us grows even heavier, weighing on my chest like a rock. Finally, I can't take it anymore. A word tumbles out through my lips before I can stop myself.

"Ahmose."

His head slowly rises up. He readily meets my gaze, his expression smoother than the ocean on a windless day. "Kiara."

I clear my throat, pausing momentarily as I try to come up with a question that isn't going to immediately send him down the path to Defense-ville. Thousands of inquiries shove at each other, hastily pushing their way to my lips, but I swallow back every single one of them, determined not to break my word. You promised. "What are we supposed to do now?"

He flicks his nose. "In regards to what?"

To why you lied to me. "The mission."

"Talking to one another would be a good start."

I press my lips into a thin line. Don't tempt me Ahmose. I would love to start talking. I don't think I would be able to stop talking. Somehow, though, I don't think you would be all that thrilled if I did.

I mask my internal dilemma with a twisted expression and a withering glare. False frustration drips off my words, contorting them into bitterness. "I tried talking to you. You shut me out."

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Kiara, please, don't be like that. You know I would tell you if..."

"If you could? Were you really going to finish that sentence with 'if I could'?" I ask, arching an eyebrow at him. He opts to respond with silence. "Yeah, I didn't think you were going to say anything to that. So back to my original question: what are we supposed to do now?"

Ahmose watches me impassively for a few seconds, before pushing himself up to his feet and walking over to me. I watch him tentatively, my heart jumping up into my throat as he draws closer.

Oh, crap. What did I say? What's he going to do? Did I somehow cross the line? He's not saying anything. His face is smoother than untouched ice. He has no expression whatsoever. This is bad with a capital BAD.

Ahmose stops in front of me, trapping me on the spot with his intense gaze. I gulp, blanching a little under the spotlight.

"I know I was the one who instigated the whole stifling silence thing, but this is too much silence. I am very much uncomfortable right now." I whisper. "Please say something. Anything. Any time soon would be preferable."

"Something." A silky smooth, unfamiliar voice whispers in my ear. I scream, jumping so high I just about land on the moon. Ahmose barely has time to pick his jaw up off the ground and dodge out of the way before I bump into him in my desperation to scramble away. The man steps in the light, his expression a picture-perfect mask of contrite repentance. "Did I do something wrong?"

I gape at him, his sudden appearance stealing all formulations of speech from me. The man towers over me, his black eyes glittering cunningly like a spider sizing up its prey. Despite his spindly frame, he's the most powerfully built person I have ever seen — including Ahmose and Osiris — and his overwhelming presence buffets me around like a howling wind. His skin is tan, slightly darker than Ahmose's, and his head completely shaved, but weirdly enough, it works for him. To his left, sitting up just as straight as his master, is an immense jackal, as black as the night. Intelligence twinkles behind its gaze as it sizes me up. I suck in a sharp breath as it hits me.

It's Anubis.

That realisation renders me completely dumbstruck. I continue to gawk in gobsmacked silence. After a few more seconds, the dog steps forward, its lips pulling back into a terrifying snarl. I yelp, kicking up a wall of dust between the strangers and I in my haste to scurry away. Anubis smirks, almost like my fear fuels him, and clicks his finger at the dog. The dog immediately silences, melting back into its statuesque form once again. Anubis turns back to us and arches an eyebrow.

"Is this one of the cycles where you two don't speak English, or are you now just permanently mute?"

Ahmose lifts me up to my feet and pulls me closer, his expression furious. "What are you doing here?"

"There we go! See, that wasn't hard, was it?" Anubis asks with a satirical smile. His gaze slides down to me. "My question still stands for the little princess, however; she hasn't said a single word. Did you get a dud reincarnation this time round, Ahmose? That's unfortunate."

I scowl at him. My fingers clench into a fist at my side. "I'm not a dud."

"She speaks! Yet, I sense anger in your words. I wonder why that is?" Anubis clicks his fingers. A languid smile spreads over his lips. "I know. Our dear mutual friend here didn't tell you about the whole curse ordeal and you only just found out, didn't you?"

I press my lips into a thin line and stay silent. Anubis clicks his tongue, turning to Ahmose with a feigned expression of disappointment.

"Ahmose, honestly. How many times must I tell you that that is an incredibly senseless decision before you finally believe me?" He shakes his head, looking at Ahmose the way one does at a child they've just found breaking a vase. Then he glances back at me, sighing exasperatedly. "Honestly my dear, I have told him every single time it never ends well — it only ends with you either furious at him or dead — but he doesn't seem to listen."

I narrow my eyes at him, not missing the way Ahmose stiffens more and more with every word that slides out of Anubis' mouth. "I understand why he did it. I'm over it."

"Like the way you've gotten over his hand in Hazel's death?" Anubis asks snidely. All the blood drains from my face. He steps forward, holding his hand out in mocking sympathy. "A most untimely death, I must say. Although, I will admit I was disappointed I did not get to watch over her trial. I have a feeling it would have been highly entertaining. But then again, I guess one cannot be upset about that. Death by cockatrice is entirely disappointing."

My heart crumbles into dust in my chest. Ahmose's expression smooths out into pure anger. His grip around me tightens as he speaks to Anubis in a low, deadly tone. "Leave her alone."

"Or what?" Anubis raises an eyebrow at him challengingly. "Are you going to instigate a confrontation with me again, little mummy? You know that will not end well. It didn't last time, and it will not this time, particularly given the little princess is still alive and fuming."

The look Ahmose aims at Anubis borders on murderous. The god doesn't seem to be fazed by it at all. "What do you want, Anubis? Why are you here?"

"Oh, you know, just checking in." Anubis shrugs nonchalantly, lazily scratching his dog's head with his right hand. "One tends to get a little bored when the humans they're so used to failing actually begin to succeed in breaking their curse. It provides for rather dry entertainment."

"Yes, we are succeeding." I finally speak up, injecting as much resonance into my tone as I can muster. Even Anubis does a double take at that, staring at me in surprise. "No thanks to you."

"No thanks to me?" He echoes. "Whatever do you mean by that?"

"Your anubites. They've been chasing us ever since we started." I retort. That successfully grabs his attention. "They've almost succeeded in killing us. Twice. Don't you think that's a little unfair, considering our predicament?"

"What exactly registers that in the realm of 'unfair'?" Anubis asks, folding his arms over his chest and regarding me in a stoic gaze. "Life is unfair, my dear. The fact that my anubites may be influential contributors to that unfairness does not exactly bother me in the slightest."

"Kiara, what are you doing?" Ahmose murmurs in my ear, squeezing my wrist. "Do not antagonise him. He will not hesitate to kill you if you annoy him."

Ignoring Ahmose, I step forward and fix Anubis in my steely gaze. "Sure. Life is unfair. I get that. But we already have to push ourselves to the limit trying to break this curse. We already have to track down mythical creatures in the middle of the desert, even though we have no idea where they are or how to find them, and try to figure out a way to defeat them. We already have to do the impossible, even though I have no memories of anything except for the last seventeen years of what I thought was my life."

"Well, to be fair, that part wasn't my fault." Anubis interrupts my spiel, shrugging dismissively. "You can blame the mythical creature with the rod up his ass behind you for that."

Ahmose starts forward with a growl, his eyes burning with molten fury. I grab his wrist and lock him into place, giving him a hard look.

"I never said that I didn't." I say flatly. Ahmose winces, instantly quietening down. I return my attention back to Anubis. "But that doesn't change the fact that that in itself is hard enough without a bunch of freak-a-zoid dog-headed beings chasing after us and trying to decapitate us with their claws. And unless I'm wrong, to be fair, that part is your fault."

Anubis folds his arms over his bare chest, watching me coolly. I fidget under his heavy gaze, trying not to let my nervousness taint my expression. "What exactly are you implying, little princess? And watch your reply, because I do not take well to the kind of insinuations you are so callously throwing around."

"I'm not implying anything." I reply, swallowing back the golf ball in my throat. "I just want to know why your anubites are after us."

"They're not." Anubis says simply. Ahmose and I both frown at him.

"What do you mean?" I ask, my brow furrowing.

"They are not after you. I am sure all you saw were simple coyotes." Anubis shrugs. "You have just made a simple mistake, as all humans do. A mistake I am willing to forgive you for, of course. You humans do have truly horrendous vision, particularly at night."

"We did not make a mistake." Ahmose says shortly. "And we did not just see them at night. They attacked us in broad daylight on the second day."

Anubis stills. His expression hardens. "What did you say?"

"They attacked us in Washington. In my father's apartment." I say. "And again, when we first arrived in Egypt."

"And they tried a third time too, about two weeks ago." Ahmose adds on. I start, turning to him with wide eyes.

"What? When?"

"Answering that question will only cause you more tribulation, Kiara. All you need to know is I removed us from the situation before it became too dangerous. " He replies quietly, shaking his head minutely at me when I open my mouth. His eyes flicker back to Anubis. "The only question you should be asking is why they are still chasing us."

I follow his gaze to Anubis. He watches us with an unreadable expression. I raise my eyebrows at him. "Well?"

Anubis harrumphes,. "Are you sure it is my anubites?"

"Do you know anyone else who has control over a gang of dog-headed men?" I scoff, my tones tinted with thinly-veiled sarcasm. Anubis' gaze tightens.

"No. I am the only one my anubites listen to." He replies testily. "And I have not ordered them to harm you."

"Well then why are they chasing us?" I ask, folding my arms over my chest and staring him down.

"I do not know. If what you are saying is true, then something is wrong." Anubis sighs. He taps his fingers on his forearm. "What that is, of course, is something I intend to find out."

Ahmose straightens. Something flickers through his eyes so quickly it's almost unreadable. "It is?"

"Yes. As hard as it is to believe, I am on your side, Ahmose. It is not my intention to make this harder for you than Ma'at has already made it, as entertaining as I am sure that would be." Anubis grin wolfishly, his eyes glinting maliciously. "Rest assured that I will make it my personal responsibility to find out why exactly they are running amok, and ensure they stop before they cause more mischief. Whoever is leading this little...insurgency will be properly disciplined, I assure you."

"Thank you." I say with a small smile. Anubis nods. He turns to leave. Before he can make a proper escape, however, I blurt out another sentence before the logical part of my brain realises what I'm doing. "I have another question for you."

"What is it?"

I glance over at Ahmose for a brief moment, who's watching me with confusion riddling his expression. I take a deep breath, my heart racing in my chest. "You're the god of the dead, right?"

Ahmose catches on immediately. He reaches for my wrist. "Kiara..."

I step away from him, moving closer to Anubis. "Aren't you?"

"I am the deity charged with managing mummification and joint overseer of the afterlife. I am not quite the god of the dead." Anubis replies, bemusement lacing his tone. "Why do you ask, little princess?"

"Can you..." I clear my throat, hating the way my voice breaks so easily. "Can you bring Hazel back?"

Understand lights up Anubis' eyes. He doesn't even hesitate to reply. "No."

I can't stop myself from flinching at his blunt reply. "Why not? You said so yourself that you are one of the overseers of the afterlife, surely there's some way you can bring her back?"

"My answer is still no, Kiara Collins. It is not as simple as you make it out to be. The world is not nearly as black and white as you humans are so inclined as to believe."

"But..." I cut myself off, the words getting stuck in my throat. My voice wobbles as my newfound resolution starts to crumble down at the foundations. "She's my best friend. She can't be gone."

"And she is irrelevant. You should not waste your time on her when there are far more important issues you must be focusing your attention on. Hazel Lee is..." Anubis reaches out, quick as lightning, and snatches up a bird flying past right out of the air. He turns to me and, looking me dead in the eye, snaps the bird's neck. A malicious smirk twists up the corners of his lips. "Dead. And you need to accept that."

His callousness rips the ground out from underneath me and freezes me to the spot all at the same time. I stare at him in horror, unable to stop myself from flinching when he throws the bird at me. It bounces off my chest and lands in the dust at my feet. I refuse to let myself look down, tears springing to my eyes as I continue to hold his gaze. Ahmose slips his hand into mine and squeezes. Anubis chuckles.

"There's the resilient, ballsy little princess we all know and adore." Anubis teases, mockingly tweaking my nose. I recoil away from him, fixing him in my most infuriated glare.

"Leave her alone, Anubis." Ahmose growls. Anubis' smirk only doubles in size.

"As fun as it would be to stick around and watch you try and follow that thinly veiled threat up with an open challenge, I unfortunately find I am unable to stay." Anubis says bemusedly. He steps back, the sharp edges of his silhouette softening as he starts to melt from view. "I will find out why my anubites have been testing out their independence, but rest assured that they will not bother you again. And Ahmose?" He looks over my shoulder, locking eyes with the man standing behind me. "You need to get in contact with Osiris. He is becoming irritatingly twitchy at how long it has been since you updated him."

He disappears.

The moment he's gone, I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding with one explosive splutter. With that one action the dam inside me bursts, and the floodgates are thrown wide open. Ahmose immediately wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. I turn into the comfort of his arms, hugging him back even tighter as I quietly weep.

"For a second, I thought that would bring her back. I know it was stupid to think that, but for a moment there, I actually thought that would work." I mumble into his chest, sniffling. Ahmose doesn't say anything, merely tucking my head under his chin and pulling me closer. "But it was hopeless. She's gone. She's really, truly gone. Hazel is dead, Ahmose. I'm never going to see her again."

"Najmay, it is not hopeless." He replies softly. He cups my face with his hands and tilts my chin up until I'm looking him in the eye. "Do not ever think that. You must always keep hope."

"How can you say that?" I whisper, my eyes brimming with more tears. "We watched her die. Right in front of us, we watched her die. And now she's dead, just like Anubis so cruelly demonstrated. How is that not hopeless?"

Ahmose sighs, holding my gaze for a few moments before bending down. I watch in confusion as he straightens back up again, this time with the dead bird cradled in his hands. Bringing the bird up to his lips, Ahmose blows on it softly, his breath ruffling up it's black feathers. Then, right before my very eyes, the bird blinks it's eyes once, twice, three times, before fluffing up it's feathers and leaping to it's feet. I stare at him wide-eyed, my mouth falling open to form a perfect 'o'. Ahmose smiles at my shocked expression, holding the bird out to me. "If you keep hope, they will never die. They will always live, even if it is just in us. All you need to do is believe."

I hesitantly hold my hand out, gasping quietly when the bird jumps into my palm with a bright chirp. A small unwitting laugh breezes over my lips as I watch the bird hop across my hand and take off, flying off into the distance with a cheery whistle. I watch it go, my hope soaring higher with every swell of the bird's wings. I glance back at Ahmose and smile softly at him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Thank you Ahmose." I whisper. "Thank you for always believing in me, even when I give you every reason not to."

"Always." He murmurs, returning the embrace and pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I still, the small action sending a jolt through me. Even though it was completely unexpected to me, it's almost like it was second nature to Ahmose, like he'd done it a million times before and didn't even think about it.

But then he thinks about it.

His whole body stiffens. I hear his breath catch in his throat. I slowly glance up at him, my heart hammering out of my chest. For the first time ever, his expression is completely, utterly, nakedly open; I can read the entire world on his face, see every single emotion burning in his golden gaze, map out every thought that crosses his mind the moment it occurs to him. My heart jackhammers up into my throat. Ahmose reaches forward and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, erasing all the remaining distance between the two of us with that one simple movement. My heart stops. I lick my lips, speaking up hesitantly.

"Ahmose..."

Kiss me.