"You're kidding, right?"

A loaded silence in the lab followed my question, indicating Ava had, in fact, not been kidding. 

"My memory's been tampered with a lot already, Camilo," Zed offered. "This would be the last time. For a good cause: allowing us all to walk free."

"But... If you're re-installing a war period backup, you'd no longer remember anything," I protested. I turned to Ava. "Can't we do a partial restoration, not all of it?" 

"No," Ava flatly shot down my suggestion. "I understand your feelings, but uploading a new version of a Spectre model system into a vessel isn't a simple process. If we mix and match as we please, we can cause corruptions and conflicts in Zed's memory that can never be resolved, or in human terms: drive him insane. There's a reason why only clean installs were used during the war, even if it would've been more convenient to retain some information." 

Zed took a step closer to me. "I'm not who I used to be in the war, Camilo. Surely, you must have noticed. I don't have the same skillset nor mindset because that was wiped when I was put on that aeroplane. For safety reasons, based on a 'need to know' system." 

"Still..." 

I wanted to protest louder, but for once, I was out of words. What Ava said had made sense. If we wanted one final showdown and convince everyone she and Zed had been terminated for good, we needed his wartime skillset. We needed full soldier Zed, not one that Mr. Shea had only equipped with piloting skills and codes to override drone commands with. For safety reasons.

"So, let's see if I got this," I said. "Zed becomes a blank slate and regains all his military knowledge, and therefore he will successfully raid the vault. But, seeing what he has become I turn against you both, and contact the school. Agent Denn find this base as planned, kills and destroys everything inside, and believes that's the end of it. In reality, Zed enters a remote transfer at the very last second - the timing is so close to your cores exploding that the signal can't be detected by any scanners. They think you're dead, I saw the light and 'turned' back to humanity's side. We all live." 

"Seems like you got it. We must start the procedure swiftly. The clock is ticking and we can't assume we will remain undiscovered for long." 

Ava spoke without much emotion seeping through. Like she didn't care about erasing someone's memory. I supposed that was to be expected, since it was so normal to wipe androids in the Singularity War it was no big deal to her. Maybe this memory of Ava in a gyndroid body didn't even feel anything.

It was a big deal to me though, so when Ava gestured for Zed to lie down on the hospital bed I'd been sleeping in before, I stepped in.

"Wait," I called out. "Just fucking wait for a moment." 

Ava folded her arms in front of her chest. "Camilo, you know we're in a hurry here. We don't have unlimited time."

"Just--" I let out a frustrated groan, burying my hands in my hair. "The past few days have been like a huge cluster mindfuck for me, alright? I know you process it all at lightning speed and it's no big deal to you to wipe memories, but I'm having a hard time here."

"What are you suggesting then?" Ava asked, tilting her head to the side. "What do you want?" 

"A moment to say goodbye," Zed filled things in for me, and I was grateful he did because my slow, human brain didn't seem to function right. 

"Right," I agreed dumbly. "Exactly." 

Ava didn't look pleased, though, even that expression was only the slightest narrowing of her eyes. 

I had often tried imagining what Ava, the mother of androids and gyndroids, must've been like when she was alive. She was in a different body now, of course. She didn't look anything like her pictures in this gyndroid, but her attitude was close to what I expected. Businesslike, to the point, almost ruthless. Perhaps war did that with you. 

She decided to have a heart today, however. With a small sigh, she raised her shoulders. "Very well, I will leave you to it. Fifteen minutes. I will be in the next room." 

Promptly, Ava turned on her heels and left the lab area, passing through a door I hadn't explored yet but I assumed lead to other working spaces in this underground lab. 

I wasted the first few seconds not knowing what to say to Zed. I simply stared, trying to make sense of the fact that he wouldn't know me anymore when he woke up in a few hours. Just like that.

Again, Zed broke the silence for me. "I wished things were different, too," he said.

I smiled wryly. "You know, I knew something weird was up with you when you found in me in that alleyway and you didn't know how to handle a gun. You didn't act like a super soldier android. Haven't been acting like one at all, frankly."

"Yup. You've been talking with an incompetent, incomplete version of a Spectre," Zed said with a grin that didn't quite match his words. "A Spectre with no mission input aside 'stop the plane decades ago', and no goal. That's why I needed to find my creator. To help me figure out what to do. I'm sorry I lied to you and didn't tell you I wanted to find Ava's memories, too. I didn't only want the connector blueprints."

"It doesn't matter now," I dismissed the topic, not wanting to spent any of the fifteen minutes on some apology I didn't need from him. "Did you manage to replace it?"

Zed placed his right hand on his spine and traced it. "Yes, all better." 

"Good."

Zed slowly lowered his hand. "It's a shame I have to disappear. You'll never meet me as a Spectre soldier, with all my modules in place. I was much more impressive then. Much closer to the war hero described in the stories you read." 

I scoffed. "Like you're not already fucking impressive now. Who else hacks into Lenora's vaults and my phone in a matter of seconds?"

Zed looked at me for a few moments, then turned to stare ahead. "I put you in danger by guiding you to that vault. And I didn't even realise how many places outside of Lenora university there are that could unmask me as an android with this face. I would've known if I'd been me, entirely."

I thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Don't sweat putting me there. I agreed to it. Besides, you hardly know me, and I hardly know you. Not many people care that much about putting a stranger in harm's way." 

"Correction." Zed snorted, shaking his head at himself, amused. "You hardly know me. I know everything about you." 

"What?"

Zed moved over to the hospital bed monitor and patted it. "Do you know the average speed of how fast a computer like this can process data?"

"Uhhh..." I frowned as I thought. "No idea, pretty fast."

"Pretty fast," Zed repeated. "I initially singled you out because you were notorious for your pro-android stances in university, and I thought I could use you to help me. Then, I looked up everything about you. Far too much. I told you." The corners of Zed's lips tugged up. "You don't know me, but I know you."

Ava had told me. She'd told me Zed had a big database on me. In all the chaos and confusion I'd just never asked the most important question: "Why?" 

Zed tilted his head to the side. "Why do you think?"

"I don't know," I brought out, narrowing my eyes at Zed to mask the fact my face was heating up and I was probably flushed.

"Fine, I'll spell it out. It doesn't matter anyway, I'll forget in a few minutes," Zed said, a casual smile still playing on his lips. "I watched you bicker with your brother, but never allowing any harm to come to him. I watched you protest for androids, risking expulsion over and over for your ideals. I even saw the way you still refuse to eat the crust of sandwiches." He suddenly snickered. "And, judging by the recordings in the bedroom one of your one night stand dates made, I saw that you're pretty good at--"

"Okay, okay enough!" I quickly hissed, interrupted him, my face now hot like a volcano. "You know me, you made your point. And what fucking recordings?" 

Zed folded his hands behind his back. "All I will say is that you should filter more carefully who you pick up online on your dating apps." 

I grimaced. "Duly noted."

"I deleted them for you, by the way."

"Thanks."

An awkward silence ensued. Zed still hadn't answered my question, and fuck. I had some idea of what he was trying to imply, but I wasn't about to fucking say it and be wrong. 

"Can you even have feelings like that?" I finally blurted out, shooting somewhere between full on asking what was on my mind, and not asking at all. 

"I don't know," was Zed's uncharacteristically serious answer. He stepped away from the monitors and closer to me, until he was standing in front of me. "I have no comparison to what you mean when you say you have feelings for someone, and what my experiences are. But it's pointless anyway because--" 

I cut Zed off by grabbing a handful of hair, and planting my lips on his. It was an impulse. I didn't know what I was doing, or how this was a good idea. Even whether I wanted to go here right now. 

I did know I wasn't going to get a chance to after today, and somehow, I couldn't miss it knowing only regret would follow. 

Feelings or not, mine were real as Zed followed my lead and kissed me back.  I wondered why Ava had felt the need to make even this feel realistic. Too real. 

I pulled back a moment later. Zed touched his bottom lip with his fingers. He looked at me, perplexed. 

"Thanks," he said. 

"You're welcome." 

You're welcome, really?  Then again, who the fuck said 'thanks' in reply to a kiss? 

A wonderfully weird android, who I'd loved to have learned more about if only I could. I wished I was like a computer, rapidly absorbing and processing data. It wasn't fair. 

"If I knew another way, I would've told you," Zed spoke up, as if he'd read my mind. "But Ava is right: I need to be the soldier from the legend to pull the vault raid off on my own and infiltrate the school. Just know that even if I forget, I'm doing it for you."

 "Yeah," I murmured. 

Suddenly, Zed put his arms around me and I let him. But our peace was swiftly disrupted by Ava coming back into the room. 

"Sorry," she said, her gaze fixated on Zed's arms around me. "The fifteen minutes are up."