(Play the video, and turn on the loop, please)

Night Time

" How's it?"

" Yup good as always.. Your skills are getting better day by day.."

" Have some more then.." Oppa servs another spoon of tteokbokki on my plate, and I gladly shove them in my mouth..

" Mmm Oppa your cooking is really on another level.. You can even beat Mommy one day.." I praise him while closing my eyes..

" Haha, but I cook only for you baby.. I don't need to beat anyone except it's your taste.." He sits beside me, and looks at me..

" Oppa.. I think you should talk with your father about the proposition.."

" Why? " He put his elbow on the table, resting his chin over his knuckles..

" Because he should know what we're thinking about his idea.. You're saying that day that this collaboration is important for your company.."

" Of course it is, which is why I gave this work to you guys, because you guys can understand better what'll be good for us.."

" Hmm I hope that too.." I shove another spoon of rice in my mouth

" You look cute when you eat like a baby.." He chuckles looking at me, not even eating a bit..

" Oppa I'll choke if you stare at me like that.. Eat your food.." I whine..

" Nah.." He shakes his head.. "I don't wanna miss this beautiful site.. Why don't you feed me hmm?" He looks at me with puppy eyes..

" Oppa you're a grown ass man.. What is this behavior?" He pouts..

" Aish.. Ok ok.." I sigh and offer him a spoonful, and he eats that like a baby..

" Mmm I cook so good.. " He says while eating..

" So you didn't believe me then ha?" I take another spoon of rice with tteokbokki and bring it in front of his mouth..

" I believe you more than myself, Areum.." I blink.. He eats from my hand, still looking at me..

His stare is something else...

What he does next makes me gasp.. His eyes fall from my eyes to my lips. For a little second of life I think he may kiss me but he holds my face, and places a soft, yet long kiss on my cheek, and my eyes widen.. He still holds my face like that, and that damn stare.. I don't know what happened, but he moves my face to face him, and presses his lips on the corner of my lips.. I close my eyes, and gulp harshly..

His plumpy lips brush my skin, making a tingling feeling. When he licks that place a little, I can feel his body become tense, and his breath becomes uneven.. When he removes his lips from mine, I can see his eyes filling with lust. He just needs a signal from me to continue what he's doing.. His pleading eyes don't fail to notice mine..

But I never give him that signal..

" There was something on your lips.. and we've run out of tissues so..." He said and I looked at the empty tissue box, and sighed a little..

" You know Areum.." He inhales, looking down.. " When I first saw you in that abandoned place.. I don't know why I felt so cold.. Like so cold.." He looks up.. " That kind of cold you feel when you see something bad is going to happen.. And your hands are tied and you can't stop it.." He exhales, and looks at me..

" I felt that for you.. That I might not be able to save you. I might have to see you drawing in the dark, fading in the shadows.." He tilts his head.. " And that was the time I realized you're the light of my darkness, and I need to keep you safe, for me to be in the light.." His words wrap me up like a warm coat in November..

He breathes a little.. Take some seconds to observe me.." I can't wait for that day, Areum.. I'm not losing any hope.. Rather it is increasing.." With that he gets up, and goes to the kitchen.

I take a long breath..

Will it be ever possible for me to give myself to Seokjin Oppa?

------------------------------------------------

Flashback

It's been a year since I left Seoul, and started living with Seokjin Oppa.. I didn't know how to even get along with this man..

He was like.. Something else.. Sometimes he behaved like he was hiding something from me, sometimes he was being a responsible hyung, sometimes he behaved like he kidnapped me here..

None of them was the actual him, and I knew it too well.. I worked under him.. I knew what he was, who he was..

He was trying to get along with me too.. He actually couldn't understand how to stay with me under a roof, because one I was not a normal girl for sure, 2nd he knew how to control me, but he didn't know how to understand me..

One day I was cutting vegetables, while I was thinking about Yoongi Oppa.. I was missing him too much.. His laughter, his being savage, his scolds, his care everything.. Seokjin Oppa was helping me too.. He was saying something I didn't even hear.. I was in my own world, when suddenly I cut my finger.. I hissed, not that loud..

Of course this simple cut was not gonna do anything to me.. I literally stabbed myself.. But after my cut, I was feeling a little better.. The emptiness in my heart might be reduced a little.. But that was not enough for me.. So I slashed again in the same place, but this time deeper..

I was whimpering in pain, and Oppa noticed it.. " AREUM!!!" He gasped, and shouted..

He ran to me and I was about to do it again, but he stopped me.. " WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING?? " He held my neck, and started massaging my veins.. I was about to lose my sanity.. I opened my eyes and breathed a little..

" Have you gone crazy, Areum? What is this? I told you if you ever feel like this, try to calm down, and if not massage your veins.."

" I tried everything Oppa.. Nothing works on me.. I even tried to medicate, but failed.."

He started wiping the blood.. " You didn't use the proper way.. Come here.." He held me, and took me to his room..

He let me sit on his bed, and brought a first aid kit.. " When Jungkook said to me that day that you've hurt yourself again, I actually didn't believe it.. But today I think I've witnessed enough to believe.." He dipped the cotton ball in alcohol, and put that on my cut..

" Now.. What you tried to prevent hurting yourself?"

" I... Hobi told me to bite my finger if things get worse, or medicate, or think of some good memory, basically divert myself from the things I feel is haunting me.."

" And what was haunting you this time??" He asked and wrapped a bandage around my finger, and I lowered my head..

" Areum."

" It's ok Oppa.. I'm much better now.." I tried to smile, and he looked at me..

" Missing them?" I blinked sometimes.. How did he realize it?

I startled a bit and sighed.. I didn't say anything.. " Is there anything I might do for you to feel better??" He sat beside me, holding my hand..

I shook my head, and he started caressing my back, and that was it.. I burst into tears.. I couldn't contact them until we got valid proof that Jonathan wasn't chasing me anymore.. Seokjin Oppa said Jonathan found out about the asylum.. So there was a very wide chance that he might find out where I was then..

" Hey hey it's okay Areum look at me.. It's okay aish calm down.." I could see he was trying to help me.. He couldn't process how to calm me down.. He was tapping his legs out of frustration.. Really I felt like I needed to calm him down..

" Oppa it's okay.. Pass me the tissue.." I said, and I think he got his breath back.. How could this well-built man not know how to calm down a girl?

Cute..

He passed me tissues, and I wiped my eyes.." It's okay Oppa.. I can manage.. Just tell me what I should do to prevent myself from hurting again.."

He sighed a little, and told me how to do it rather than what to do..

Days were passing like wind, and we were getting comfortable around each other.. I talked with Oppa after a few months.. He was so overwhelmed when I talked with him after nearly 2 years..

At one point I felt like I was changing.. I could control myself.. Or even when I couldn't, Oppa would help me to calm down..

Everything was going smooth like butter.. Oppa was getting comfortable around me.. He had to.. Because we were living together.. We need to get along with each other..

Until one day some of his friends came to the house.. I was in my room, when he called me to introduce them.. I could sense those judging eyes who were judging me, for who I'm.. To Seokjin Oppa.. Oppa introduces me as I was his junior who came here for research purposes.. But not even a little boy would believe that. Their stares were making me so uncomfortable.. I was gulping too hard, and was praying to the lord that everything go blank , or the ground divided by two and I buried myself in it.. I couldn't take it anymore, and went to my room..

When they were about to leave, Oppa called me again.. I tried my level best to gulp whatever I was feeling, plastered a smile on my face, and went to say goodbye to them.. When I was about to enter the room.. I heard it clearly what they've said..

" Ah Seokjinna, how could you find such a girl out there? I must say she keeps your bed warm all the time.." He chuckled a little

I heard how Oppa screamed his name, and some ruffle sound made it clear he beated the shit out of him.. I could see his face literally destroyed, and he cursed Oppa so many times, then left the house..

Oppa was fuming in anger.. His hand was bloody from his friend's blood.. He fisted his hand so tight, I thought his knuckles would pop out.. He took some breath and looked behind him just to see I was standing there, whimpering, and sobbing like a little kid..

" Areum.." He whispered, and tried to come to me, but I stopped him, and ran out to my room..

I cried my heart out.. I was screaming like crazy.. I didn't care when Oppa was about to break the door by kicking and punching.. Which was scaring me more.. I've never seen Oppa being this much aggressive..

At one point he literally broke the door, I was trembling by what he had done then.. I hugged my knees tightly, to shield myself from him.. I never felt so scared of him until then.. When I looked at him.. Blood was dripping from his hands for punching the door too much.. His eyes became so dark.. He was fuming under his breath.. He wasn't even blinking.. Blue veins popped up on his forehead.. He looked at me, like he's gonna rip off my soul just by looking at me..

" Why didn't you open the door?" He said lowly.. I didn't reply, I couldn't..

" Areum.." He called me..

" O-Oppa" I tried to talk with my broken voice..

" WHY DIDN'T YOU OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR? WHY DID YOU DISOBEY ME HA??" He shouted and held my arm and pulled me to him..

" O-Oppa Oppa, leave me. O-oppa I-I'm sorry p-p-please leave me Oppa" I was crying but he didn't leave me.. Instead he put pressure on his hold..

" WHY DIDN'T YOU REPLY ME? WHY DID YOU RUN AWAYY??" He suddenly grabbed my face harshly, to see I was a crying mess.. My eyes were watery, tears were falling nonstop from my eyes, my nose became red from extreme sniffing.. I couldn't even breathe properly.

He looked at me for a while, where I was crying like a little kid.. His knitted brows eased a little, seeing me like this.. I could see a tiny bit of life in his eyes.. He calmed down a little.. He held my face softly.." Why don't you listen to me, Areum? Why do you think I don't understand you?" He whispered..

I didn't say anything, and lowered my head.. I wouldn't dare.. This was the 1st time he raised his voice on me.. He frightened me.. Before that he would never even shout a little..

" Why did you run away? You really think I would let go of someone who would say something like this to you??" I sniffed a little

He made me face him.. His eyes were sparkling like stars, with too many feelings in it.. He was looking at me like I'm the last person he had in his life.. " I would never let anyone treat you like this.. Never ever.. It was my fault that I wasn't able to make a place for your life.. It was my fault, Areum.."

" O-Opp-"

" Please let me speak Areum." He stopped me, closing his eyes he inhaled.. " I know you used me as a distraction.. I know I was never in your heart, but in your mind.. I understand it.. The environment itself told us everyday to just kill ourselves.. I understand why you were so obsessed with me.. " My eyes widened..

" Just to let you know.. You were not the only one.. " I gasped a little..

" It was never from only your side, but from my side too.. Why do you think I flew away here and brought you here with me.. The minute I place 2+2.. I knew you would be in danger.. And I couldn't let that happen to you.. I literally kidnapped you from your hyungs, and brought you here.. Don't you think it's odd?" I slowly nodded..

" I couldn't leave you there in danger.. I wanted you close to me.. It'd be a scandal in the asylum if I showed you even a slightest thing that how much I fucking love you Areum.. " My jaw dropped..

" O-Oppa.." My voice was trembling..

" Yes Areum.. I can't keep it to myself anymore.. I'm going crazy.. I just needed a hit, and today I got that.. I can't hold myself anymore from you.. You didn't even realize how much I controlled myself to pull you in my arms, and look into your eyes to tell you this.."

" I love you Areum "

I couldn't process what to say after this.. I really don't know how to react.. When he threw another bomb at me..

" Be my girlfriend maybe? "

============================

I'm blushing....

bye