(Play the video and turn on the loop, please)

" Now care to explain what happened to my Oppa? Why is he lying there lifelessly?" I ask

" Well he passed out after learning that-"

" That you took such a step. He couldn't believe that you could actually release him" Hobi cut off Namjoon Oppa's words. They're really acting weird. I knit my brows out of confusion.

I sigh, " Okay now that you know why I did that, please take me to oppa. I want to see him."

Jungkook lifts me in bridal style. " Wow. You're so good at this. While Hobi picked me I was too much uncomfortable, but I'm feeling way too much comfortable here. Did you practice a lot?" I wiggle my brows.

" Do you want me to drop you from my lap? " Jungkook says sternly.

" You can't. I'll hang myself holding your neck. At the end it'll be you who'll have a broken neck lmao " I grin.

" Hyung you're seeing this right? This is nothing. She's really a pain in the ass. I'm literally trapped here with her. Save me hyungs" He says with puppy eyes.

" Enough of this, Jungkook, I'll handle this, you don't need to worry. Please take her to hyung " Namjoon Oppa says.

I whisper to his ear, " Keep dreaming about that out of all the people, Oppa will punish me " He's literally spitting fire from his eyes and I giggle a little.

Still he carefully holds me and takes me to Yoongi Oppa. By that time he wakes up and is drinking some juice. Jungkook sits me on the bed where Yoongi Oppa is sitting, looking down.
I can say by his face that he's not in a state of mind. He's looking so devastated in his world that he doesn't even notice when I touch his shoulder.

" Oppa, What happened to you? I wasn't here for some hours and look what happened to you! " Oppa looks at me while his face is covered with darkness. He's way more brighter than me.
I used to beg him to give me tips for how to be brighter like him, but he finally convinced me that he doesn't even wash his face that much as I did. It's from birth. But right now that face is covered with darkness. It's really killing me.

" My Kuzi, are you really my Kuzi, hmm?? " Oppa asks me suddenly.

" Hyung, I think you're still asleep. What are you talking about? She's our Areum. Stop saying that,," Namjoon Oppa laughs nervously.

" I am in so much sense that I can hear if something falls on the ground with my eyes closed. I'm the eldest here. I passed the time you're passing. Don't forget that " He slightly looks at Jungkook.

I notice that obviously and look at Jungkook who is literally questioning his life. Something really happened while I wasn't here, something big. And I'm gonna find it out by hook or by crook...

" Oppa said you passed out! Is everything okay? " Oppa again looks at me but says nothing. It feels like he wants to say so many things but can't put it into words. While Namjoon Oppa, Hobi is looking in space thinking about something. All of their faces giving me a one and only hint.

They're hiding something really important from me...

I know them very well. They can't hide anything from me. I have that power in them. Their facial expressions, their words, I know each and everything. Because so many times they beat someone in school just because he tried to flirt with me.
Yes! They were that much protective of me. And when they came to meet with me, I could easily say that they had a fight. They couldn't meet my eyes. And even if they did. I would give them the most brutal punishment which they fear the most.
Yes. I tickle them till they pass out or until they surrender to me. They treat Jungkook as their own brother because he was the one who became the 1st friend of my life.But that was in the past. We grew up sadly. So now I use my trump card. But I don't know if this will work this time.

This is really getting on my nerves.

" Did I really make such a big mistake that you're behaving like this with me? I know I'm not enough for being a sister to you but I'm trying okay?
I'm trying my level best to reach your expectations. But I failed as I can see. I'm sorry, okay??
I'll start searching for him on my own " I say making a puppy face and yes this is my trump card. Emotionally blackmailing them with a puppy face on top.

With that Yoongi Oppa gets up from the bed and comes to me, and hugs me so tightly that it starts suffocating me. But I let him because I know now he'll spill the tea.

" You're the best sister I could ever ask for, never ever doubt about it okay? You don't have any fucking idea what you are to your hyungs.
Don't even think about it. No matter how you are, no matter who you are! You're our sister and will be. No one and nothing can change that." With that his stored tears starts falling on his cheeks..

" Oppa what happened to you? Why're you saying this? Oppa you okay? Hobi what happened to him? What did you do? Namjoon Oppa? What medic did you give him huh? Why are he behaving like this" I ask

Suddenly we hear a knock and see Heejin comes and informs me that someone is here to meet me. I tell her that I'm coming. I look at all of them who are hiding a world to me and I'll find out..

No matter what

Later that night

Warning!!! : Mature contents ahead. 

It means there will be blood, self harm and brutal behavior. 

Read at your own risk

I'm alone in my room.. Jungkook wanted to give me company but Hobi told him to stay there. They need him!??
I was feeling so hurt as well as angry what the fuck they're hiding from me!

I was with Heejin and she helped me to get on the bed. She immediately left because Seokjin Oppa called her urgently. I look around my room. I'm here for the 1st time after that incident. Thinking of that night, for the past week all of my hyungs have tried to keep me busy so that I don't think about it that much. Now as I'm alone here, all of those images are coming in front of my vision. How Jimin came into my room, how he looked at me hungrily, how he touched me.

My eyes fill with tears and then suddenly my eyes get blurry.. Again..I try to squeeze my eyes but no, nothing. My head is beating so fast and no matter how much I try to calm myself down I can't. It's like someone is screaming inside me. I pant and sweat a lot.

And suddenly everything went black.

I thought I passed out but I'm wide awake. I can hear people's talk, their footsteps, everything. But I can't get out of this darkness. It's like someone covered my eyes forcefully.

I think about it. What can it be? Why is my body behaving like this? Then I take my finger and bite it so hard that it starts to bleed. If anyone sees me like this they will think that I'm hurting myself but that's not the case.
It's one of the methods Hobi taught me. If anytime it feels like I was seeing nothing but darkness it means only one thing that my mind is controlled by someone or something in me. So I need to activate my body as much as possible.

I bite my finger the 2nd time but still it's too hard for me to see anything. So I do that thing that'll definitely work. I hold my face and started to find a specific area where my senses will work more and that'll affect my body. When I get that I use my sharp nails to dig my skin.

My fresh wound which was stitched.

I dig my nails in the strings and try to pull it so hard that my skin starts separating from its place. I'm not screaming, letting my body feel the pressure that'll let me come out from this darkness.

At this point my mind and my body become two separate people and I'm helping my body to consume me again. At some point I pull the string so hard that It torn apart. I'm really feeling like screaming but I can't. I want to let my body feel the pain. Which is why so many people are in the corridor right now but nobody has any freaking idea what is happening in my room!!!

I was a great student in my college. Because I was not like others who were studying to get good marks or degrees. I was studying to help myself. To make sure I can help others as well . So I know what doctors do when their patient feels like this.

I search for a tool, a sharp one but as I can't see anything right now, I don't know what to do. So I do what I least can do

I bite myself

No, I'm not a vampire. I don't drink blood, I'm not immortal nor I've power to fly or teleport. I'm a normal human being who is using vampire tricks right now. It's my own research when I tried to find the question of how to get back someone's sense instantly.

Blood

It'll be their own blood. It'll sound disgusting but the moment the person will taste his own blood it will calm him down. It definitely will.
Once Taehyung was behaving like this so I let him bite his own finger and when he tasted his own blood he calmed down slowly. Well I had to hold him for sometime.

I start looking for wounds in my forearm. I use my arms to protect my torso so that Jimin couldn't stab directly at my heart. There were a total 8 stabs on my forearms. I'm looking for one. When I find one I lick it a little. I actually like that stinky, ironic taste when I lick it. I can sense my vision becoming gray little by little.

That's it. I bite my skin so hard that I can't control myself and scream a little. It's paining a lot. I hold a handful of my hair in my fist and start pulling it so hard that'll stop me from screaming. When that disgusted liquid starts to feel in my mouth I feel like throwing up but I hold myself and let it feel my mouth properly.

I keep that liquid on my mouth for a minute and I feel my body calming a little and my vision gets clear. The moment I see the floor clearly I throw that liquid out and start vomiting.

I pant heavily and see myself. My forearm, my fingers, my face are filled with blood and dripping on the bed. I literally fell on the bed and I don't know for how long I lay down then suddenly something strikes my mind..

What the fuck? Why didn't I think about it before? Why didn't I make 2+2=4 while it's about me?? I stand up and take a mop and start mopping the liquid on the ground. Once I'm done I straight sit on my desk and open my laptop. Before that I clean my wounds and cover them with cotton to stop bleeding.

I go through my notes, my own researches, and my patients' reports. I'm going through it one by one and suddenly I see something from one of my notes.
When a person starts to react instantly or starts to see blurry things it's a sign that the person's mind is changing. It should be seeing everything blurry in the beginning and then it'll increase day by day. To prevent it we have to calm them down by giving medicine or talking with them so they get distracted.

Another research says, in bipolarity if any person becomes blank or sees dark in his eyes, it means his mind is not working according the way it should. Because of lots of traumatize experience, staying in depression for a long period of time, thinking about suicide all of the time damages their mind.
So when they start to form in stage 3 or 4 they start to see black space. They can feel like they passed out but that's not it. They are wide awake and can sense everything but at that time another personality tries to consume them.
So it is best to let them taste something that'll calm them down. And most of the cases it happens to be blood. Because either they'll fear it which will instantly bring them to their current state or they will love it which will also help them to calm down..

I read through a lot of files and finally my professor's personal note comes in front. It says if a person has to bite himself, or has to taste his own blood to come back in sense and when he harmed himself, he either feels enjoyment or he tries to scream but can't. It means one thing.

That person completely converted into Stage 4

It'll be too difficult for them to transform because at this point their mind will control their body, and their mind is the thing which won't work properly. So it's alarming for both the patient and the doctor.

I remembered asking him how they'd respond in the 1st place. He said they will act differently. In general it'll look like they're behaving like a normal person. They will talk with you nicely, if they don't communicate suddenly they will start communicating. It's too hard to find the difference unless we take a close look at their recent behavior.

I read through it and I don't know when I passed out again because I feel too much weak and my body has lost so much blood since this morning...

Next Morning

I wake up in my bed while I see Jungkook massaging my scalp. Oh it was magical! I needed this after everything that happened yesterday. Seeing my hyungs cry, realize that they're hiding something from me, then the little interaction with my body and mind. My mind was in a mess and my head was beating like a rapper.

" Don't stop Kookie. It feels so good..." He suddenly looks at me and smiles.

" You'll have to buy my shakes after you start walking okay? I'm not your personal assistant that I'll take care of you... " He's caressing my hair and when he pulls his hand, he sees his whole hand covered with my hair..

" Areum? "

" Why did you stop? It was calming me down " I whine

" Look at it.. " He moves his hand in front of me and when I see his hand full of my hair. I try to raise my head a little but can't.

" Don't tell me now you've cancer. I won't tolerate this joke " His serious tone makes me laugh

" It's nothing Kookie. I was on a strict diet which is why I'm having this much hair fall. It'll be okay. Chill " I lie obviously.

" Really? Then tell me about these fresh wounds on your cheeks, your hands? Who made this Areum? Who was with you here? " Jungkook is that type of person who can make you laugh instantly. He has that charisma, but when he looks serious, there is nothing that'll calm him down until you do what he told you to. And right now he seems serious. Oops!

" Well you all left me here to rot. So I tried to move by myself. But I forgot that I can't walk properly so I slipped and fell two times, and as for my stitches it was torn. I don't know how. I held myself up with a lot of strength and made it to reach my desk, and maybe you found me there.." I say as convincingly as I could, but his face is totally showing me he doesn't believe any of my words. Well I don't care. They are the ones who hide things for me in the 1st place.

He sighs and maybe he gets that idea that I won't tell him the truth and he won't force me because he also hides things from me.

" You should be careful about yourself, Areum. All the time we'll not be here for you, you know that right? So what is this callousness hm?
Please don't be childish and be careful please"
The way he's pleading to me, it's like I faced an accident and I was in a coma for don't know how long time.

" And you should be careful too about your surroundings. It's okay to hide things but you should have an idea of what is happening around you? " I say.

" Wh-what are you talking about? I'm much more careful than you, okay? If I was not then I won't be here, being an unpaid nurse who is bearing your bitchy attitude.

I would be in a hospital with a wheelchair where my legs are detached from my body"...

When we were dating we used to spend time at the side of the railway. Because that's the place where no one can find us. But one day we were crossing the railway but he slipped and fell on the rail track and the train was not so far away from him. I still can't believe how he stood up and jumped off the track and the second he did, the train passed by us. I will never forget that horrific moment. But we have good memories too with them. Once it was raining so we took an umbrella but when we reached our dating spot the sky was shining. So what he did still makes me laugh like crazy. I even took a picture of him, he was looking so cute...

He literally planted an umbrella, and we left that umbrella there. Maybe it grew up and became a stadium lol.

" So you're telling me you're conscious about your surroundings huh? " I ask

" Do you have any doubt? " He narrows his eyes

" Umm not that much, just tell me why Yoongi Oppa looked at you like that way? " I directly look at his eyes

" Ah I don't know what you're saying okay? Maybe he dreamt about something " He says, looking anywhere but me.

I hold his left ear and forcibly pulled it, " Tell me or I'll rip it off "

" Aish AAAAAAA you bitch leave aaah my precious ear shit Areum it's hurting AHHHH " He screams

" I'm serious Jungkook " I pull it again

" AGHHH ok ok I'll now leave me bitch aish AAhhhh!!" I pull it one last time and leave him.

" Spill.. " With that he reveals his deepest darkest secret which is that he has a serious crush on Suzy but he didn't tell me because I'd mock him as he does with Seokjin Oppa.

" So we've love birds who basically make out in front of my Oppa who was sick and tried to sleep. Wow Kookie. You improved a lot I see "

" Shut the fuck up okay? It's nothing like that. And it was all my fault that I wasn't thinking straight. This has nothing to do with Suzy okay? And do me a favor please tell her that I was not thinking straight so I acted that way. I'll apologize to her by myself but as she's your "best friend" you should tell her 1st.. " He says seriously.

I just smirk, " Kookie...... you said you weren't thinking straight. Well, were you thinking from somewhere else?" I look at his pants and he just stands up.

" You're a perverted bitch you know that? I'm leaving. I hope you rot in hell" With that he rushly leaves my room

" I love you too " I scream while laughing a little. Finally after so many years he starts to open up.

Few Months Later

It's been months since I released Taehyung, since I was about to rape. Since I felt like my hyungs were hiding things for me. I was still processing these things. Why did they do that? They could easily share with me anything still they didn't. Well if they don't want to I can't force them.

I faced that type of darkness again after that day. But this time I medicated instead of hurting myself. It actually helped me but took freaking two days. I was in my room most of the time, and if anyone came I said I was working on something so that they shouldn't disturb me. It's actually normal to everyone. When I get a case it's normal I'll spend days after it without even getting out once from my room. Jungkook or Namjoon Oppa will come to check on me sometimes. So it's not that much of a big deal to them and I took this chance.

As for Taehyung I don't know when he'll come back, but I know he will have to. I'm kinda missing him recently. not the last version of himself obviously. But before that I got a little bit comfortable with him so did he. It was awful to me that he changed within a night. How he looked at me when I went to meet him for the 1st time vs how he spitted fire with his eyes in our last meeting. Either way, if he doesn't come back I'll have to move on because life goes on. Also I've to give Jungkook 20 bucks.

I'm organizing my files while my back is facing the front door. When someone comes. I turn my back to see Heejin, " Sis, someone is here to see you. I asked about his identity but he says you know him too well "

I nod, "Let him come"

I turn back. While I start organizing my files again I hear some footsteps that stop in front of my door. I just smirk, don't even look back because I know who it is. So I just speak still facing him my back....

"Welcome Back, Taehyung..." I turn back and face him

" Good to have you here again..."

=================================