The only person who ever really stood up for me was my friend, @i-am-a-bun , whom I'll always see as a best friend, even though she's left me. I hope she'll come back to me, though that's all I can do now. I wish it could be just me and you again, girl. Please, let me show you the best friend I can be.

I know you've blocked me and asked me I do the same, but seeing I just can't bring myself to, I'm just going to talk into space and get these feelings out. I know you won't see this, as I'm sure you'll never even know that I have tagged you several times, and, of course, you've blocked me, and with so many things against you knowing this. But maybe I'm just holding on to a small string of hope left in my heart; the last thing I can find in our lasting distance that may never come to an end.

I just want to thank you for standing up for me while the rest of the school took their turn calling me the freak for reasons that really would classify me as one in this world. You stood up for me and never left my side through all the tormenting I went through. You were the only friend I had in Idaho, and after you moved out of state, it was really hard on me. And I know I live only twenty minutes from you now, but that doesn't change anything as you don't wish to see me, despite my efforts to convince you that I'm not too good for you or anyone else! And you? You are not too horrible of a friend, and I know in my heart you brevet could be! You aren't boring or rude, and I know we have so many conflicting interests and we are practically complete opposites, but that was exactly what carried us through our friendship.

Nowadays, I am really depressed, and you were the one who could always pull me out of it. But without you, I've been crashing further and further into the darkness. A couple months ago, I lost the will to eat. Not too long ago, I lost the will to live, a thought completely against my childhood fear of death, for it was that night that 'I don't want to die' turned into 'I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either.' Just the other day, I realized how much better off I'd  be if I was dead. I wouldn't have to go through this. I'd be fine. Though I will tell you this, I have no plans of intentionally killing myself for any reason.

@i-am-a-bun , I miss you so much, and though I know you really don't want to be with me, I want you to know that, whatever happens to me, I will forever see you as one of the greatest friends I could ever have, and I will never forget you. I want you to always remember that you deserve to be called my sister, and I hope you'll remember that, to me, you really were.

Your forever waiting friend,

Zevaldrina