▷ No surprises - Radiohead

«You look so tired, unhappy»

___

[DON'T PLAY THE SONG YET!]

October 24th

19:48 p.m.

JERRY BAYNARD looks out the window. As he wears his pajamas and enjoys a cup of hot chocolate, it's raining heavily ourside. The raindrops hitting the glass of the window like rocks. He can only hope that someone drives Anne back home after John's funeral. Or, who knows, maybe she'd stayed at Gilbert for longer, maybe they fixed things. That would be just ideal.

Suddenly, his sister comes into sight. She suddenly appears from around the corner, walking the pavement slowly as if she was carrying a heavy weight upon her shoulders.

"She's here!" Jerry calls, loud enough for Marilla to hear him and moving away from the window.

Jerry rushes downstairs as Marilla aims to the door. Right before the woman can open the door, Anne opens it herself, rushing inside without looking at neither of them.

"Anne!" Marilla says, her voice filled with concern. "What are you doing all soaked?"

The girl doesn't answer. Instead, clothes soaked and locks sticking to her forehead and cheeks, she walks past Marilla and pushes Jerry out of her way as she tries to head upstairs.

"Did you walk home on your own? Under the rain? Kid, you're going to catch a cold!"

Anne ignores her, so Marilla calls her name again.

"Anne!"

The girl suddenly stops mid-way, standing on the staircase with her hands on her hips.

Oh, she's mad, Jerry thinks. Or disappointed, or simply sad. It's the kind of thing Gilbert Blythe causes on her — shes very difficult to read when it comes to him, emotionally talking at least.

"What?!" Anne snaps, raising her voice perhaps a little too much.

Thankfully, Marilla seems to understand, and simply asks, with a quiet tone:

"What's wrong?"

Whats wrong? Anne thinks. Everything's wrong!

"Nothing" she says, lowering her voice now. "I just need a shower"

Neither Marilla or Jerry have time to come up with an answer, because Anne disappears, leaving the two of them in the hall with a question mark upon their heads.

___

19:49 p.m.

Fred closes the door after the last of their guests leave. It was Rachel Lynde, who had repeatedly told Gilbert to reach for her and her family whenever he needed something, even food, she'd said.

Fred turns around to face Gilbert now, who's standing at the foot of the stairs with his hands shoved into his pockets. His hair is still damp from the rainstorm outside and Fred doesn't know if the water running down his eyes are tears or just raindrops.

"Well, seems like we're finally at peace" Fred draws both of his hands to his hips, his eyes staring straight at Gilbert's.

His best friend (or brother) doesn't talk. Instead, he remains paralyzed like a statue with his eyes fixed on the door.

"Do you need anything?" Fred asks cautiously. "Do you want me to...?"

"No" Gilbert replies quickly. "I just need a shower"

"Okay, if you need anything-"

Gilbert interrupts Fred before he can say anything else. He doesn't need another pitiful speech of the classic "I'm sorry your father's dead" look.

"I'll just take a shower, alright? I'm fine, Fred. I know how showers work"

That's all he says before slowly heading upstairs to the bathroom and leaving the other boy standing alone in the hall.

Fred doesn't say anything else — Gilbert must need some time on his own to process everything, he thinks. It must be hard to lose a parent like that, to be an orphan.

He doesn't know what it feels like, of course. His parents are both alive, if he can even call them "parents" at all.

But he does know what it feels like to be alone in a world that seems big and scary.

At least we have each other.

___

October 25th

1:51 a.m.

Old habits never die, do they?

Anne lies on her bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling and hands on her stomach. It's almost 2 a.m. and it doesn't look like she's getting any sleep tonight.

Yes, she definitely can't sleep — there's too much going on in her head.

First of all, John Blythe is dead. It's heartbreaking and she hasn't had much time to process it. It also brings memories from her parents and Matthew's death. It's horrible. It doesn't let her sleep and it looks like she's not going to be getting much sleep in the following days.

And then, of course, resting on her desk, there are the letters she wrote for Gilbert — the letters that Gilbert will never read. She won't send them, Of that, she's sure.

Kinda.

Sloppily, Anne gets out of bed. She can't even see or imagine those letters on her desk. She doesn't even want to know they are there so after a deep, long breath and turning her desk's lamp on, she takes the letters in her hands and wraps them together with a wristband.

Somewhere in her closet, there's a box full of stuff she brought back from New York. It doesn't take her long to find it and since she doesn't really want to throw the letters away —it would be a waste, a murder, artistically speaking— she decides it would be reasonable to keep them there.

Who knows, maybe in the future they could be of some good use for her. Maybe they could trigger her inspiration for a rather tragical story.

Anne opens the cardboard box carefully, as if it holds some sort of treasure.

There are a lot of things there: her photo album, a portrait that Cole drew for her last spring, the chords of the version of 'Happy Birthday' that Fred Wright played on her 18th birthday, a few postcards from Diana's holidays in Paris when they were fifteen, a tiny teddy bear from Ruby ("So that you don't miss me that much when you're in NYC!"), Jerry's borrowed Nintendo...

It's just a collection of memories that made Anne feel safer during her first year of college away from them all. And buried under all those stuff, there's something else.

Neatly folded there's a black zip-hoodie. She takes her carefully in her hands and inhales the scent of it. It obviously doesn't smell like him anymore — it's been over a year since he last wore it. But still, it triggers the memory.

Gilbert.

Oh, the memories from an early summer night, sitting by the edge of Josephine Barry's swimming pool, honest conversations and whispered words in the quietness of the corridor.

"Here, take my hoodie. Don't want you to be cold at night"

"Thanks"

"It's the least I can do for throwing you to the cold water at midnight"

"Not for the hoodie. For everything"

She smiles down to the hoodie. Nostalgia. But there's something else, staring at her curiously from the interior of the box.

Anne reaches her hand to grab it, delicately.

The mixtape!

"Gilbert's mixtape for Shirley" she reads out loud, smiling faintly at the memory. It was his 18th birthday present for her. How could he forget? He showed up at her door, wearing a grey shirt and holding an umbrella above his head.

"I've added some songs that I thought you might like"

It's not like she needs to check the track list Gilbert conveniently wrote in the note that came with the mixtape. Despite not having listened to it in a while, she knows the order by heart.

Each song is different and equally important.

#1 Hand in glove by The Smiths. It's just a song by her favorite band (and Gilbert's) in the whole world. It was just an extra present, or so he had said.

#2 Idfc by Blackbear. Oh. She can easily remember how it felt the first time she listened to it, taking in the very explicit meaning of the lyrics. "I have hella feelings for you". She just couldn't believe that he actually did have feelings for her. He's a flirt. He's just a flirt. That's what she forced herself to believe anyway.

#3 Nothing's gonna hurt you baby by Cigarettes After Sex. This used to be one of her favorites. Now she can't even listen to it and whenever it comes up on shuffle on her iTunes or Spotify it makes her sick. It makes her sick because she misses him so much.

#4 Dreaming of you by The Coral. She'd love to know if Gilbert dreamt about her too. Because she'd dreamt of him so many times.

#5 Enjoy the silence by Depeche Mode. Of course. Isn't that what they did so many times? Simply enjoying a comfortable silence? And now they can't even bare to be around each other.

Those and the ones that follow are special songs that will always take her back to times when things were easier. Each one of them represents at least one stage of her relationship with Gilbert (or former relationship, because she doubts there's still a relationship between them).

But there's just one particular song she needs right now.

It's track #8.

She doesn't hesitate when she hits play.

___

[PLAY THE SONG NOW!]

Not far away from the Cuthbert's (it would be just a familiar twenty minutes drive), Gilbert Blythe can't sleep either.

Gilbert lies on his side, keeping his hands under the pillow. It starts raining outside, the raindrops hitting the glass wildly.

It hasn't stopped raining lately.

Tomorrow, he thinks, taking a deep breath. Tomorrow I'm telling Fred.

To try and avoid all the tossing and turning, he gets his Walkman from the night table. He hasn't been able to listen to music lately — there hasn't been much time, having spent weeks at the hospital and then the funeral and calls from relatives.

Actually, this time at night is the only time he's had to himself. And tonight is the first night in a long time that he's going to sleep (or try to, at least) without having anything in particular to do the following morning.

There's a song that his dad showed him once, when he was younger. And not long ago, he'd showed it to a girl. Somehow it's become a lullaby.

There has to be in one of the mixtapes he keeps in the tiny box under the night table...

He reaches for it, getting out of bed in his Simpson's pajamas (he might be a bit old for it but it's still his favorite).

Voilà!

Gilbert caresses the surface of the mixtape. His dad made it for him when he was like... fourteen? He still remembers the track number of the song he's been looking for.

He hits play as he lies in bed again, covering his body under the duvet.

He can clearly hear Anne's voice as he remembers her rendition on Fred's birthday party. How beautiful she looked that night and how soothing her voice sounded, the way her fingers stroked the ukelele strings, the way they argued in the kitchen afterwards...

He manages to fall asleep with the blurry memory of her voice.

___

Meanwhile, Anne cries, and cries and cries. She hasn't allowed herself to cry for Gilbert in months. It feels sort of relieving, and in some way, it feels as if her own tears were telling her something that she's been fearing to even think herself.

It's raining outside and it just reminds her of the funeral all over again.

Seeing him again after months.

Hugging him.

Holding him.

Sort of talking to him.

Arguing.

Fighting.

How she left him standing there, under the pouring rain and with a broken heart.

In the darkness and security of her room, she wonders how is it possibly for her to have felt so much in just an encounter with Gilbert Blythe.

She hadn't felt that rush of emotions in such a long time. It's just the kind of thing that Gilbert provokes in her: an emotional rush. But now, everything that used to feel so confusing, seems to vanish as she slowly falls asleep.

The question mark has disappeared, there are no doubts anymore, her mind is clear for once.

It's the Gilbert Blythe effect, she thinks as her eyelids start to feel heavier and heavier, falling asleep to the beat of Radiohead and with a certain pair of hazel eyes on her mind.

I'm in love with Gilbert Blythe.

___

October 25th

10:39 a.m.

"Anne?"

It's still raining outside when the call of her own name and two knocks at her door make her wake up.

"I'm trying to sleep, Jerry" she groans, pulling the blankets over her head. "Go away"

"It's almost 11 in the morning" his brother says from outside.

"So?"

"Can we talk?"

"Can you leave?"

Her voice is a mixture of muffled and shaky and that's when Jerry simply opens the door, steps in and sits on her bed after closing the door behind him.

"I made you coffee" he says, placing her favorite mug on her night table.

"Thanks" she replies shortly with a muffled voice from under the duvet.

"Tell me what's wrong. Can I help? Is there something I can do?"

"Something you can do?!" She pulls the sheets away, revealing her face and sitting up, facing Jerry. "Do you really think there's anything you can do, Jerry? Can you fix a broken heart?"

Her eyes are puffy. She's been crying for hours, that's for sure.

"Jeez, sis... I didn't know you got it that bad..."

"No shit" she says, raising an eyebrow. "Me neither"

"Why don't we just talk? It'll be... catratic?"

Anne keeps her eyebrow raised, almost mocking him, as she reaches for her coffee and takes the first sip.

"Cathartic, Jerry" she corrects him.

"Oh, yeah. Cathartic. It'll be cathartic"

Anne holds the mug carefully and doesn't look at Jerry. Instead, she decided to keep her gaze on the trees from across the window, the grey clouds and the teardrop-stained glass.

It hasn't stopped raining lately, she thinks.

After a few seconds and two more sips of coffee, with a dull and emotionless voice, she talks.

"It's breaking me, Jerry. It's breaking me because he's hurting and I want to help him, to make him feel better... but he doesn't want me near. How am I supposed to feel when I have to go back to New York within a few days and I have to leave him like this?"

Jerry sighs. He's the worst at giving advice or making people feel better — Ruby or Diana are much better at this. The best thing he can do is think how his girlfriend would handle this situation.

What would Ruby Gillis do?

"Maybe he just needs time" he says after a few seconds, perhaps a minute.

She looks back at him then.

"Time?"

"Time to process his fathers death. Time to get over... whatever you did to make him that angry. Time like the one you needed to realize that you loved Gilbert and not Charlie"

Anne blinks twice.

He might have a point.

"Yeah. Time"

"Maybe he'll fall for you again" he says, rubbing her back. "Just give him time"

"Maybe he was never in love with me in the first place"

"Sis" Jerry whispers seriously. "You should've seen the way he used to look at you. Believe me, he was smitten for you from the start"

"From the start?"

"Yeah! Didn't you ever notice?"

"Well... yeah, I noticed something. But I thought he was like that with everybody else" she mutters, somehow forgetting that Jerry is there with her. "A flirt. A ridiculous flirt"

"A ridiculous flirt". How many times has she called him that in the past? And now it feels odd to even say it out loud.

"Pfft, no way. He used to have a special look for you. Ruby always talked about you guys"

"Rubs?" Anne blinks twice, perplexed.

"Yup. You know how she is"

"Yeah..."

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Jerry asks after a couple of seconds.

"No, it's okay. He said he doesn't care about me anymore, so..."

"So?"

"So I better get over it or... give it some time" she says, resting her back on the headboard and pulling her knees closer to her chest. "Maybe time will heal me too"

Jerry nods.

"I still think you should talk to Ruby. She's the one that you haven't talked to about Gilbert and like it or not, she's the smartest when it comes to this kind of stuff"

"Yeah, yeah" she nods, giving Jerry a small smile. "Now let me sleep a few more minutes after I drink my coffee, okay?"

He kisses her cheek. "Sure"

"Have I told you you're the best brother on Earth?" she tells him as she watches him stand up.

"No" Jerry says, poking her nose with affection. "But it feels good to hear"

___

11:21 a.m.

Hazel eyes who used to shine brighter open a bit later than usual. When Gilbert Blythe wakes up, he checks the time on his phone. It's past 11 in the morning.

He's not fully well-rest, but the smell of breakfast coming from downstairs makes him eventually wake up. It's strange, for him, because he's always the one to prepare breakfast.

He walks down the stairs, still a bit drowsy.

When he gets to the kitchen, he spots the back of Fred Wright and all he can hear is the noise of kitchen utensils.

"Morning, princess" Fred says with a grin, turning around as soon as he noticed Gilbert's presence.

He's wearing Gilbert's apron as he bats some eggs in a bowl, and it kinda makes the hazel-eyed boy smile.

Gilbert rubs his eyes, partly because of his state of sleepiness and partly because of pure confusion. "Fred, what... are you doing?"

"Breakfast, duh" Fred as he turns around to cook the eggs. In another pan, there's sizzling bacon being cooked. "Bacon?" he asks.

"Yes. And You didn't have to" Gilbert says whilst taking a seat.

"I live here"

Fred puts the just cooked eggs and bacon in a plate and places it right before Gilbert.

"Yeah, you're right" the boy says, inhaling the smell of his breakfast.

"Coffee?"

Gilbert lifts his head to see Fred Wright ready to pour some coffee on a cup.

He's truly thought of everything, Gilbert thinks.

"Yeah, thanks"

"How did you sleep?"

"Meh"

Fred places a friendly hand on his shoulder.

"You know I'm here, right? You know we're getting through this, together, don't you?"

"Yeah" Gilbert smiles faintly. "I know"

"I'm your brother" Fred says, accompanying his words with the wink of an eye.

"Yeah, although right now you look more like my husband" Gilbert says, pointing his fork to him.

"Whatever" Fred says as he gets his own breakfast on a plate and takes his usual spot across the table. "This is forever"

They pretend to enjoy their breakfast in the reigning silence but the kitchen is awfully quiet. When John was alive and healthy, he used to talk for hours and laugh like he was the only one in the room.

The thought of his father's laughter makes Gilbert move awkwardly in his seat. A weight sinks down his stomach as soon as he remembers the clear, vivid and recent memory of his father.

What if he forgets the sound of his laugh? Or his voice? There are so many things that Gilbert's fearing right now. Most of the are related to his father, some of them to his own future, Fred, Bash... but of course... there's one thing...

"So" Fred suddenly says from across the table, snapping the boy from his train of thought. "Anne"

Gilbert almost spits his coffee out.

This fucking mind-reader of Fred Wright.

"So... it looks like it's not raining today, huh" Gilbert pathetically tries to change the topic.

"Gilly"

"Mm?"

"Say it" Fred says. "I know you're thinking about it"

Gilbert gives him a look before speaking again.

"I shouldn't- she shouldn't have come to the funeral" he says. "It triggered... things in me"

"Feelings, you mean?"

"Yes, Fred, feelings" he rolls his eyes — and instantly regrets it, because it keeps reminding him of her.

"Feelings that come back are feelings that never left"

"Oh no, not again" Gilbert groans, pointing his fork at him again. If someone saw them from outside, it would be quite comical. "I've had enough of this talk"

Although somehow Gilbert appreciates the fact that Fred's avoiding his father's death, he believes his friend could've come up with a much better topic than Anne.

"You need to talk about her at some point"

"Uh, Fred, darling, my dad just died" he says. "Could you please give me a break?"

"You know, I remember the night we met"

Gilbert face palms. "You're not going to drop it, are you?"

Fred simply continues:

"The night I met Anne and then you, Diana, Rubs, Jerry... I had just met Anne and she'd told me that there was this boy... who she couldn't stop thinking about. She didn't drop a name or a physical description. But then I walked into the club and I suddenly knew. It was so obvious"

"What are you trying to say?"

"Gilbert" Fred says.

Gilbert can tell he's serious because he barely calls him by his name unless it's serious stuff.

"You've fell in love with this girl the moment you saw her"

"Yeah"

"I'm serious"

"Me too" Gilbert says from his seat. "You're right. That's the whole problem"

"How come?"

Gilbert looks down at his almost-finished coffee, then at the ceiling, fridge, stove and at his coffee again. He takes his time to answer before finally doing so.

"When it comes to her... when it comes to Anne, I'm always gonna be that new kid at school that was mesmerized by the girl that sat beside him in class and sent him songs every once in a while"

"Isn't that a good thing? Shouldn't you take that a sign that maybe... maybe she's the one for you?"

"Of course she's the one. She's the one that gets to bring the worst in me. When it comes to her, I'm... vulnerable, grumpy, and-"

"She also brought the best in you. She did heal you yesterday, didn't she?"

Yes, she did. She made me feel better when everything was falling apart and when no one else could. She made me forget about everything when we talked about books and all the kind of stuff we like but then she-

"That's completely off the point" Gilbert says once he remembers how their encounter ended up like.

"No, it's not" Fred says. "Gilly, talk to me"

"Look, I don't want to talk about Anne, okay? I've already been having a bad time thinking about her all the time"

"Aha!" Fred screams in victory, even standing up from his chair. "So it's true! You still think of her"

It's now Fred the one that points at Gilbert with a fork. "I knew it!"

"Will you put that fork down?" Gilbert groans. "Yes, Fred, it's true. For some unknown reason I can't stop thinking about her. I haven't been able to get her off my mind since I met her. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yes, that's what I wanted to hear"

Gilbert rests his face on his hands.

"Why do I still think of her?" Gilbert asks, although he's not really expecting an answer. It's more of a rhetorical question, or so Anne would say.

Anne. Anne. Anne.

"Because you love her!"

Gilbert frowns again. Deep inside he wonders if he has more facial expressions apart from the classic furrowed eyebrows.

"How could I love her? Love it's not like this, love is meant to be easy"

"Romance is a pesky business" Fred says, remembering something that Josephine Barry told him once. "No sense to be made of it"

"Oh my God, what are you talking about now?"

"Love is never easy, Gilly. Look at Jerry! It took him years to finally tell Ruby how he felt about her. Or Jane! Dude, you made out with Jane Andrews. And then she realized that she'd been mistaken her entire life because she likes girls. Love's fascinating, Gilly"

Gilbert rolls his eyes sarcastically, watching at Fred from his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.

"I get it, you're getting married to the love of your life. You can be a hopeless romantic elsewhere, Romeo"

"This hopeless romantic just wants to know what you're planning on doing with those feelings"

Gilbert takes a deep breath before standing up. He doesn't even finish his coffee when he faces Fred.

Here we go, Gilbert thinks.

"Pack them along with me and leave" he says.

"Leave?" Fred asks, completely perplexed.

Gilbert turns around.

"I'm going to London. I got a scholarship"

"You... you what?!" Fred gasps.

"I got a scholarship. In London"

"I know, I heard you the first time! But why?"

"I can't stay here"

"But it's almost November!"

"It's a late admission. I'm the best student in my class"

"You've lost your mind" Fred says, drawing both of his hands to the top of his head.

"I haven't. This has been planned for a while"

"What? Wh-?"

"When my father..." Gilbert pauses. "When my father told me he'd gotten sick again, I, um- talked to him one day. He told me to hold on to what I read at my graduation speech"

"The one you read with Anne?"

Gilbert closes his eyes, a bit annoyed and placing both of his hands on his hips. "Yes, that one. I've only graduated once, Fred"

"And what did you... read?" Fred asks. He can't remember. Was that speech that important?

"I remembered that the real world was wide, and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitments, awaited those who had the courage to go forth into it's expanse, to seek real knowledge of life amidst it's perils..." Gilbert quotes from perfect memory. "It's from Jane Eyre, you know?"

"Oh, and you decided to take it literally!" Fred says. "Who the hell wrote Jane Eyre?!"

"Charlotte Brönte"

"I blame you, Charlotte Brönte!" Fred yells, looking up and pointing one accusatory finger to the ceiling.

Gilbert takes a step forward and grabs Fred by the shoulders.

"Look, Freddie, now that my fathers gone, there's nothing holding me back"

"But... you really don't have to leave" Fred tells him, now looking at him, a bit concerned.

"It's less than a year. I'll be back before you know. I'll be back for the wedding, I promise"

"Are you sure about this?"

Gilbert sighs.

"If I stay here... I'll never be able to leave" he says. "I need to go now before giving it much thought"

"Don't run away, Gilly! This is so unlike you"

"Unlike me?" he bitterly laughs, although he's not annoyed. "I haven't been myself in a while. I can't grow here. I need this, Fred"

"But Anne-"

"I don't want to talk about Anne"

"But-"

"My life doesn't revolve around her! This is about me" Gilbert says, drawing a hand to his own chest. "And only me. I need to grow. I need this, Fred. And about Anne... I'll figure that out... whenever"

It's now Fred the one that grabs Gilbert by the shoulders, almost as if he could shake those intentions out of him.

"You can stay. I'll help you get over her. Please. You'll move on"

"You don't understand, Fred. No matter how "moved on" I'll ever be... If I stay here... I'm always gonna have a soft spot for her" he says. "Always"

Fred looks at him, tilting his head and blinking twice.

"Harry Potter reference?"

"Shut up, Fred!" He says, biting back a laugh. "We're talking about my future here!"

Fred smiles to him, suddenly understanding everything. He obviously doesn't like the idea of Gilbert leaving, but he's right. He hasn't been himself in a while and if he stays here or in Philadelphia, hell always have the feeling of Anne being near. Perhaps he needs this new experience away from it all to clear his mind and finally heal.

"I guess you're right"

"Thanks" Gilbert gives him a crooked smile.

"So... when are you leaving?"

"Wednesday"

___

October 28th

17:32 p.m.

"But what about the letters?"

"I don't give a fuck about those. I actually tore them apart"

Liar. I'm keeping them on the box that's safely hidden in my closet.

"Anne-"

"He made it pretty clear, Diana" Anne says. "It's over for good"

Or for now, she thinks.

Diana's been helping Anne pack all day. She's bound to fly back to New York writhing a few days and Diana Barry is always a great help when it comes to organizing stuff.

But of course, she has to bring out the Gilbert topic! Although she doesn't even know about Gilbert leaving the country for months yet, she isn't going to give up on him and Anne that easily.

"And what are you going to do now?" the raven-haired girl asks.

"Try to move on"

"You need to stop this Ross and Rachel nonsense"

"Alright, first of all, Ross and Rachel were toxic as fuck"

"But Anne-" Diana begins to say.

"I mean it, Di" Anne says. "I need to move on. I need time!"

"Maybe he's your destiny!" Diana says with desperation.

Anne keeps folding clothes, silently rolling her eyes. "You sound like Ruby" she says. "Besides, maybe this is a sign. Maybe we're not meant to be"

Diana drops the sweater she was folding and walks over to Anne, steps and voice determined to change her friends mind.

"Gatsby and Daisy were apart for years"

Anne turns around to face her.

"Five years, to be precise"

"And yet they found their way to each other and lived happily ever after!"

Anne snorts a laugh.

"They did not" Anne says. "Don't make literary references if you haven't read the book, Barry"

It's now Diana's turn to roll her eyes as she sits on the on vacant spot on Anne's bed — the rest of it is covered in clothes.

"Oh, yes, I forgot the only one who knows how to insert those smooth literary references and quotes into regular and casual speech is Gilbert Blythe"

"Stop talking about him!" Anne yells this time. "Are you going to help me pack or are you going to talk about stupid stuff?"

"I'll help you pack"

___

October 29th

7:58 a.m.

The day he is supposed to be leaving for England, Gilbert Blythe wakes up a noise coming from downstairs.

He checks the time in his phone — his alarm hasn't even beeped yet.

With a frown of confusion, he gets out of bed and walks down the stairs, only to find a very confused Sebastian Lacroix standing on the living room, looking at nothing in particular.

Although he's planned to move in to another house with his girlfriend, Bash still lived with them. But he never wakes up this early, unless...

"Bash? What are you doing up this early?"

"I-" Bash says, turning around to face Gilbert standing under the door frame. "I don't know. It was some sort of an automatic thing. I always woke up at 6 a.m. to go for our Wednesday walks"

"Our Wednesday walks". He obviously means Gilbert's father. When he was diagnosed with cancer and Bash became his home nurse, the doctor recommended weekly long walks, and even in the short time he had recovered, before the cancer came back, they kept that as a tradition. Wednesdays were a day for John and Bash, but now Bash was alone.

Gilbert looks down at his feet. "That's true"

None of them notice the presence of Fred Wright begins Gilbert until he speaks.

"He loved those walks, old John"

Gilbert doesn't see it coming, but a choked sob scapes his throat, and right before he notices, he is crying.

Bash walks over to him and pulls him into a hug, which Fred doesn't hesitate to join. The three of them stay there, in the quiet living room, with the memory of John Blythe floating upon their heads.

"He'll be missed, Gilbert, but never forgotten" Bash says, patting his back softly. "Never"

___

October 29th

13:12 p.m.

Although for the past few days she'd tried to go back to her old self, Anne couldn't help but become silent, quieter than usual. There were no words to possibly describe her state of emotionlessness.

On the outside, she tries to be her usual self: outspoken, argumentative, sarcastic.

But on the inside, and especially on days like these, when she has time for herself, she's rather silent, private and perhaps a little more drawn to tragical romances than usual.

"Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!"

In fact, she's re-reading Wuthering Heights when her door opens abruptly, making her almost fall off her chair.

It's Ruby Gillis, of course. Who the hell would make that kind of entrance if it wasn't her?

"What the hell, Ruby? Do you even know how to knock?"

Wide eyed and trying to gain her breath back, Ruby rests her hands on her own knees.

"Gilbert's leaving!" is all the blond-haired girl manages to say with a high-pitched voice.

Anne turns the page she was reading to the next one, trying to look unbothered as she keeps her eyes fixed on the book.

"Yes, I'm aware. So am I, on Thursday"

"No, Anne, you don't get it. London!" she says, still out of breath. "He's leaving for London!"

Anne looks at her now, closing the book abruptly and giving Ruby all her attention.

"W-what?"

"Come on, you have to go!" Ruby runs to her and grabs her by the arm. "Thank God you're dressed, this will save us time!"

"But, I-" Anne stammers. "London? What?"

"Some stupid scholarship. It doesn't matter, just go, Anne, go!"

"Okay, okay, just- okay!"

Ruby drags Anne out of her room and manages to rush down the stairs without one of them tripping on her feet. However, she can't help but make all the noise in the world and Jerry comes out of her room.

At least they can thank God that Marilla Cuthbert's not home, because she wouldn't let them go in such a rush and would give her a good old lecture on why it's wrong to make such a noise in other people's houses.

"Uh, Ruby, baby, what's going on?"

Jerry pokes his head out of his room and watches the two girls standing at the foot of the stairs. Her sister looks terrified and his girlfriend looks as if she was in a very important mission.

"Anne's telling Gilbert she loves him!" Ruby yells from downstairs.

"I didn't say that!"

"Oh, come on!"

"Can I go?" Jerry can't hide his excitement as he dashed down the stairs.

"Fine" Anne says, out of breath. It's got to be the adrenaline rush. "Ruby, we're taking your car. I need to write something"

[PLAY THE SONG AGAIN!]

___

Dear Gilbert:

I don't know how to fit everything I want to tell you in just one page so, I'll keep it simple:

I believe that meeting you is the most extraordinary thing that's ever happened to me.

I wish I could erase everything that I did, just like that, with a clasp of my fingers. Maybe we could go back in time — they would call us the time travelers. How does that sound to you?

Maybe we could go back to a time in which all the flirting, all the pining and all the stolen glances went unnoticed, even by ourselves. And just be you and me, like we used to, with no complex stuff between us.

I could've never even dare to imagine that some day I'd meet someone as conveniently and perfectly designed for me as you are.

And even though we've been and we are apart, every song, every poem and every book resting on my book shelf brings you closer to me.

It doesn't matter that you're going to London. The distance will never matter to me. Nor the timing. Because we will always be able to find each other, even in between the ink and the pages of an old dusty book.

I'm sorry I was confused before. I know now.

I love you, Gilbert.

Yours,

Shirley

___

14:23 p.m.

Ruby Gillis hasn't driven faster in her entire life. The cars that drive along in the highway that connects Avonlea and Charlottetown seem to be static compared to the green Corolla the blonde drives.

"Will we make it on time?" Anne asks from the passenger's seat.

"I'm trying!" Ruby bits her lips nervously as she keeps both of her hands on the steering wheel.

"Drive faster!"

"Alright, but once you and Gilbert have finally confessed your undeniable love for each other you'll pay for my traffic fine!"

"Deal!"

On their way to the airport, Ruby's manages to explain everything to Anne. Apparently, Gilbert applied for a medical training scholarship in some prestigious university in London. Fred's known for a few days and Diana found out that same morning, when Fred asked her to drive them to the airport. As soon as Ruby heard, she rushes to Anne's house — it seems like she couldn't simply text her.

"Oh my God, I'm going to witness an airport love confession!" Ruby squeals. "And a kiss!"

"Ruby!" Anne and Jerry yell in unison.

"I'm just so excited!"

Anne keeps her eyes on the road before her. She had just finished writing a final love letter for Gilbert. She's telling him today. He might leave and he might not reciprocate her feelings but he's going to her hear her.

I'm telling Gilbert Blythe that I'm in love with him, she thinks as she watches the cloud move swiftly in the air. The sky is clear and so is her mind.

I'm in love with Gilbert Blythe.

___

14:57 p.m.

Ruby, Jerry and Anne get to Charlottetown's airport about forty minutes later. It's especially crowded today. How convenient!

Anne gets out of the car just as Ruby manages to park. Jerry and the blond-haired girl follow right behind, the three of them running as fast as they can to get to the departures area of the airport.

"I can see him!"

Ruby points to a head of dark curls in the long distance.

Yes, it's definitely him, Anne thinks. It really is Gilbert Blythe. She'd recognize him anywhere, with that familiar black coat, his black suitcase and even though he has his back turned to her, she can bet he's wearing one of those knit sweaters he likes to wear so much.

"Gilbert!" Anne screams, cupping her mouth with her hands. "Gilbert!"

He doesn't seem to hear, so, perhaps by instinct, Anne starts pushing people out of her way. People seem to come and go in slow motion, and she has to say Ruby's right — it does like like the ending of a romance movie.

"Gilbert! Gilbert Blythe!"

He's not too far away, but he's making his way to the boarding desk and he's almost gone. The young boy from across the desk is checking his passport.

Anne's about to scream for his name again when someone else (that's definitely not the boy she's in love with) comes in the way, stopping her from getting to Gilbert.

It's Fred Wright.

"Fred! It's not the right time, I have to-"

"You're not going" he says.

Anne's face drops completely, her face turning into an incredulous grin.

"What?! Fred, move out of my way!" she frowns, trying to push him away.

He's obviously stronger, so he manages to keep her standing where she is, grabbing her by her arms.

"No, Anne. I'm serious. You're not going after him"

"What? Why?" she says. "You're being ridiculous"

"Anne"

Anne turns her head to Diana, Ruby and Jerry. The three of them are standing behind them, witnessing the scene and exchanging some whispers of confusion.

She looks back at Fred, with determination.

"Fred Wright, fucking move out of the way! I need to tell him everything"

"You'll have to wait then" he says; his face tells her he's is being completely serious.

"No! It can't wait! I have to hell him-"

"Look at me" Fred says, grabbing her by her shoulders now. She's never seen him this stern. "This is wrong. You need to let him go. This isn't healthy anymore, for either of you"

"But I..." she begins to say. "I love him"

"I know" he nods. "But if you truly love him, you have to let him go for now"

"Don't go all Passenger on me! This is bullshit, do you hear me?" she raises her voice now, as she watches Gilbert Blythe disappear. "This is bullshit!"

"Anne" Fred says, softening his voice. "Deep inside, you know I'm right"

Anne looks down at her feet, reality finally hitting her. A single tear rolls down her face, but she quickly wipes it away and nods, looking back at Fred.

With not much effort, she lets go off Fred's grip, turns around, crumbles the letter she's been holding this whole time into a ball and throws it to the closest bin.

"I'll wait in the car" she tells Ruby when she walks past her, leaving the airport and the possibility of seeing Gilbert again behind her.

___

A/N

Almost 7k words! Wow!

This chapter took me AGES to finish! I just wasn't inspired so I apologize if you didn't like it that much.

So yeah, Gilbert left and doesn't know that Anne loves him or that she broke up with Charlie #drama

Don't you just love a slowburn?

What do you think is going to happen next?

Just one chapter to finish Part 1!

Ily <3