▷ Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me - The Smiths 

«Just another false alarm»

___

June 8th, 2019

[DON'T PLAY THE SONG YET!]

ANNE SHIRLEY-CUTHBERT can't concentrate at all. Finals are on their way and she has not been able to concentrate enough to revise. She's been sitting on her bed all day — all week as well — cross-legged and enjoying a cup of coffee as she scrolled down a PowerPoint presentation on Literary Theory.

Her first year of college — which is almost over, by the way — has been rather good. She has seen her boyfriend almost everyday, she facetimed Diana whenever she could, Ruby and Jerry had even come and visit for a few days, and his friend Fred Wright still sends her via email each demo of the new songs he had been working on.

Everything is good.

"Hey, loser!"

Her dorm mate walks in. She's called Stella Maynard and she's the funniest person Anne's ever met (apart from Fred Wright, of course). One of the prettiest as well. Her pale skin goes perfect with her short bob black hair and deep black eyes — the perfect physical appearance to complement her personality.

"Hey, S" Anne closes her laptop and faces her friend. "How were your classes today?"

"Oh, they were alright" Stella replies, leaving her things on a bench near the dorm door. "I'm working on a surrealistic painting as a final project!"

Anne looks at her roommate's easel leaning against the wall. "Sounds great, can't wait to see it!" Anne smiles widely. She's going to miss both Stella and her art during the summer.

"Are you nervous about finals?" Stella asks, staring at her reflection in the mirror as she ties half of her hair into a top knot.

"No, not really"

And it's true. It wasn't finals what she was nervous about, but the thought of going back home after them instead. Whenever she thinks of Avonlea, she gets a lump in her throat that she finds harder and harder to swallow every day that goes by.

Home.

As Stella makes her way to sit on Anne's bed, the redhead crouches down on the floor, looking for something in the neat pile of books that she keeps under her bed.

"Ah, yes, I forgot you're a brainiac!" Stella sighs dramatically, dropping her weight on Anne's duvet.

"Says you!" Anne says, rolling her eyes, although Stella can't see her — Anne's still fixed on finding something in the boxes she has under her bed.

"How's your boyfriend, by the way? Is he coming over tonight?"

"He's alright and yes, he might come later"

"Aaah, curly-haired boy can't get enough from his girlfriend, can he?"

Anne ignores Stella's words, still determined in finding whatever she's looking for. "Found it!" she says, dusting the surface of a thick book with her hands.

"Found what?" Stella looks over at her with curiosity, but Anne doesn't reply. Instead, she sits on her own bed again, placing the book on her lap as she smiles down to it.

Only thing is that it's not a book, but a photo album.

"Going through trip down memory lane?"

"Yeah" Anne murmurs. "I can't believe I'm seeing all my friends again in just a few weeks — I just felt nostalgic"

The redhead caresses the spine of the album before opening. She hasn't taken a look at it since last summer — that was almost a year ago.

The anticipation of opening the album sends a shiver of excitement down her spine.

She opens a random page to find a photo of Jerry and her. It was Senior Year's Christmas Day. They're both wearing their pajamas, sitting cross-legend in the couch, tearing wrapping paper off their presents.

As she relives the memory, Anne can almost taste the flavor of the hot chocolate Marilla made for them after that.

"This is Jerry, remember? My brother" Anne says, moving the album a bit closer to Stella so that she can see as well. "He came to visit once with his girlfriend, Ruby. She's one of my best friends"

"Oh, yeah" Stella nods, remembering the visit of that adorable couple, especially the vivacity of the golden-haired girl. "Like Diana, was it, right?"

"Yeah" Anne flickers through the pages to find to a photo of Ruby, Diana and her at prom, the three of them together, dancing. Fred took this photo. "Here we are, the three musketeers"

"You looked absolutely stunning in prom, don't you have anymore pics of that night?" her friend says, excited. "I love that dress"

"Yeah, here"

There's a photo of her alone which Diana took that day, before she left for prom.

And then there's another one.

"Oh, who's this?"

Gilbert and her. He's wrapping an arm around her waist — the camera flash caught him looking at her. She, on the other hand, is flashing a smile at the camera.

Stella taps a curious finger against Gilbert's face.

"He is- he was, my friend, Gilbert" Anne gulps, her body tenses at the thought of the boy. "He took me to prom since Charlie wasn't there"

Was. She hates to talk about him in past tense.

"Oh, crap, did I...? Is he, like, dead?"

"What? No!" Anne chuckles faintly. "No, we're just... not friends anymore"

"What happened?"

It has been over a year since she graduated from highschool. They managed to keep in touch with each other for two or three months. They didn't talk much over the summer, considering that Charlie was back and Gilbert was enjoying beach days and other adventures with his father — but they did FaceTime every once in a while, just to check on each other.

Then she moved to New York and he moved to Philadelphia, and even though she insisted on the fact that they were just hours away, he never came to visit.

And neither did she.

Just like that, the texting, the FaceTiming and the few night calls they shared, stopped. Their friendship slowly turned into something strange — just liking each other's posts on social media and that was it.

And then there's of course, the events of last December.

The incident.

It's been six months since "the incident" and he still haunts her.

The worst part comes at night. She misses him. How could she not? She can easily and effortlessly imagine him, lying in bed with a nose stuck on a book and shaking his head to the beat of one of his favorite songs.

Gilbert.

"We just... fell apart, I guess" she shrugs, closing the album abruptly and leaving it on her desk. "I don't know, it's complicated"

Memories of the past winter are still haunting her.

"You miss him, don't you?"

"I'm holding onto the though that maybe one day I'll get a drunk text from him saying how much he misses me" Anne says as she lies in bed, knowing that she'll probably regret her honesty later. "But that's not gonna happen"

"Anne" the girl says. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"Was he really just a friend?"

Anne looks down to her feet. No, he was never just a friend.

"No, he wasn't" she mutters. "What gave it away?"

"I just can tell. He seems more important than just a friend"

"I don't know. We never-" she clears her throat, memories of Gilbert are flashing through her mind and that's the last thing she needs right now. "We never dated..." she says after a pause. "He's not my ex"

"He's an ex. Just not an ex-boyfriend. An ex-something"

"Yeah, you could say so" Anne sighs, closing her eyes in defeat.

"I'm sorry" Stella lies down next to her. "Do you still think of him?"

Anne sighs again — it feels like it's the only thing she can do when it comes to thinking about Gilbert Blythe. "Yes"

"Feelings come and bite you when you least expect them to"

Anne thinks about how wise Stella's words sound. She is about to tell her how right she is when she realizes that her feelings didn't come back at all.

They just never left.

___

June 9th, 2019

"What got you so quiet?"

Diana Barry's eyes flicker between the road and her boyfriend, sitting on the passenger's seat. It's a sunny, almost-summer morning when she just picked Fred Wright up from Charlotte town's train station.

"Quiet? I'm not quiet! I'm Fred Wright"

Diana laughs. "Exactly, you're Fred Wright and you haven't cracked a joke or call me the hottest girl on Earth ever since I picked yo up ten minutes ago". Now that they've got to a red light, she looks straight at him, still holding the steering wheel with both hands. "What's wrong?"

"It's just... what if your aunt doesn't like me?"

Fred had agreed to spend the weekend over at Miss Barry's but he's having his doubts now. It's not the first time he stays over but it is the first time Josephine Barry's going to be there as well and not in one of her romantic trips all over the world.

"Why wouldn't she? You love me and you make me happy, that's enough"

"I don't know, I just- I don't do anything... good? All I do is play my guitar and crash at Gilbert's"

Last year was unusual summer for Fred Wright. Instead of spending it with his dreadful parents in a house filled with hostility, he stayed with Sebastian Lacroix — which had a girlfriend now, by the way — at the Blythe's while Gilbert and his father travelled around the country. As soon as Gilbert moved in to college in Philadelphia, John came back to Avonlea.

And that's what life's been like for Fred. Living with his best friend's dad and former nurse.

Unusual, to say the least. But at least the did treat him like he was part of the family. And he liked that.

"You make music — music is good" Diana says, shooting him an encouraging smile. Fred has been making music the whole year, in search for a discography, and although he was a bit unsure about it, Diana encouraged him every day into making more and more music.

"Yeah, but I don't want her to think I'm a loser-"

"Fred" Diana pauses. "Aunt Jo will adore you. Besides, she's a cool, modern aunt. I mean, she's like, a 70-something year old lesbian who lives with her girlfriend, isn't that cool?"

"Yeah, she seems cool"

"You'll be alright, you see" she says, reaching for his hand. "Who knows, maybe you'll get to play something at one of her parties!"

"Would that make you happy?" Fred asks, admiring her girlfriend's beauty as she drives. She keeps her eyes on the road, fully concentrated.

"Very happy"

"Then you can count on it"

She smiles. "Have you talked to Gilbert lately?"

"Yeah, you know we talk every day, just to check on each other" Fred nods. "He's busy with finals"

"Yeah, same as Anne" Diana says just as she parks her car at her not-so-new home's driveway.

"She'll do alright. I bet she has everything under control"

___

Anne doesn't have everything under control.

"I don't know how to say this, Anne, but this is... boring"

"B-boring?"

It's Wednesday morning and one of her favorite teachers has called her to her office. Amelia Darkwood is a best-selling author, settled in New York as a Literary Theory teacher. She agreed to tutor and mentor Anne on a story she was writing for a writing contest. The redhead admired the older woman, but now she has to bear with her criticism — Anne is beyond embarrassed.

"Very boring. Only thing your character does is pine over her beloved, um..." her teacher scans the paper with a frown on her face. "Nameless-male-character?"

Humiliated, Anne buries her face in her hands. Sitting in front of the older woman she feels extremely tiny in that big room, quite uncomfortable and trapped between the walls surrounded by books which once seemed to gave her a sense of safety.

"Yes, I'm still thinking of a name" she mumbles.

"Okay, well. She's...unsatisfied, and that seems to be her only personality trait" The teacher takes a look at the papers in her desk — Anne's story is highlighted in yellow and green, with handwritten notes on the sides. "It's a mess of feelings that leads nowhere — It's exhausting to read"

"Is it? That exhausting?" Anne asks, completely in the depths of despair. She usually hates it when other criticize her work, but deep inside she knows Miss Darkwood is right. "I mean she has other qualities like-"

"Anne" The teacher says, looking at her from under her glasses. "You're a talented writer. But the assignment was specific — romance. You're not going to win this contest if you don't fix this"

"How do I fix this?" Anne asks desperately. She would do anything, literally anything to win this contest. She wanted to make her teacher proud, but also Marilla, and Jerry, and everyone in Avonlea. She wanted to make her own self proud of her success. She needed to win.

"Were you inspired by someone when you wrote Nameless? — let's call him like that for now" Amelia asks out of the sudden, taking Anne by surprise.

Tall, dark curls, curious hazel eyes, boyish smile. Smart, teasing- "No, not really"

___

That morning, a tall, curly-haired, hazel-eyed boy is lying in bed, a nose stuck on a book. The boyish smile, however, seemed to fade away a few months ago. He's grumpy most of the time instead.

His roommate, who has a habit for bothering him, paces from one side of the room to the other, a phone in his hands. His name is Royal Gardner, and although he's a kind-hearted boy, he can be a bit of an annoying one sometimes.

"I think I'll order something for lunch later. Want do you want? Mexican? Chinese?"

"I'm fine with whichever you prefer" the hazel-eyed boy mumbles from the bed, not tearing his eyes from his book.

"Do you ever stop reading?" Royal — or Roy, which he prefers, asks.

"No, not really"

Roy casually laughs, leaning his body against his desk. "Gilbert Blythe, you're a nerd"

"A proud nerd" Gilbert says, grabbing a paper ball from his bed and throwing it to Roy. That'll keep him quiet.

But much to Gilbert's disgrace, it doesn't keep him quiet. Instead, Roy walks over to Gilbert's desk, checking his books.

"Can I borrow one of those?" Roy asks, studying the neat pile of books. "Can't find anything to read"

"Sure, pick whichever" Gilbert says, completely unbothered and not even looking at him.

He doesn't notices, then, how his roommate picks an old book. The minimalist emerald green cover and the yellowish paper gives it a vintage aura.

"The Great Gatsby..." Roy says under his breath, admiring the cover and the spine of the book.

His words are all it takes for Gilbert Blythe to drop the book he was reading and stand up. He instantly tears the book out of Roy's hands.

"No- not this one"

"Why?"

"You wouldn't like it" Gilbert simply says, keeping the book inside the safety of a trunk under his bed. "It's boring"

"Wait, no, didn't you say this was your favorite book? Yeah, you said that once!"

"Correct, it was. Not anymore"

"Why...?" Roy asks again, curious and a bit insistent. It's gettin on Gilbert's nerves.

"It got boring" Gilbert mumbles, lying on bed again. He closes his eyes, maybe that way Roy could get the hint of leaving him alone for once. He's not a bad guy, but he's annoying — although everything annoys Gilbert lately.

"You're so cryptical sometimes, Blythe" Roy drops his weights on Gilbert's bed, sitting on the edge as Gilbert lies down. "You never talk about yourself"

"There's nothing interesting" Gilbert hisses, eyes closed as he tries his best not to sound as annoyed as he is.

He gets Royal, somehow. He just wants to make friends and to sort of bond with him. But Gilbert's not in the mood of making friends. He already has friends in Avonlea. And right now, the last thing he needs is a distraction that could get in the way of his future career as a doctor.

"I've told you everything, man. I just wished you shared things with me too"

"Like?"

"Like you could tell me who Anne is"

Gilbert opens his eyes as soon as his roommate mentions Anne.

Anne.

He's tried not to think about her for a long time. But he's failed miserably. It didn't matter what he was doing — laundry, eating, reading, attending a lecture, taking a shower... she always appeared in the back of his mind, just like that.

Anne.

She haunted him each and every day

and he hated that.

"Anne? How do you know about Anne?" he asks, sitting cross-legged now on his bed. It has to be the first time in days he's looked straight at Roy.

"Apparently that books is not only yours, but hers"

"She was just a friend" Gilbert tells him, shaking his head. "We're not friends anymore"

"Is she from Avonlea?"

"Yes, but I don't want to talk about her"

"She doesn't sound like just a friend"

"Well, she was. Just a friend. She just turned up to be a selfish one, okay? So best forget about people like her"

"Okay" Roy murmurs, a bit shocked by Gilbert's words. "Sorry, man"

"It's alright" is the last thing Gilbert says before going back to his book. This time, Royal Gardner takes the hint that he probably wants to be alone, so he leaves for a shower and leaves Gilbert Blythe with his grumpiness and the sole company of his thoughts.

___

A few hours later, Anne enjoys the evening colors in the sky as she tries to write, sitting on her desk. She watches the late almost-summer sunset, a beautiful mess of orange and pink. Truly beautiful indeed, but it doesn't inspire her at all to keep writing.

She hears the slam of a door behind her, and that's when she sees Stella Maynard walking into their dorm, carrying her art supplies.

"Hey, I came back, how's your story?"

"Same as when you left" Anne sighs.

Stella leans in, checking the document in Anne's laptop. Biting her bottom lip in both humiliation and defeat, Anne studies her friend's expression as she stares into the screen.

She hasn't written anything new.

"Wow, you really are stuck"

"Yeah, I don't know" Anne sighs for the hundred time in the day, stretching her arms as she's sitting. "Writer's block"

"You just need something to trigger your inspiration — it happens to me all the time whenever I paint" Stella suggests. "What inspires you?"

"Music, mostly. But I've played and replayed every single playlist and no one seems to trigger anything in me"

"What about your favorite song?"

"My- my favorite song?"

Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.

"Yeah, who knows, doesn't it inspire you?" Stella says, opening Spotify on Anne's phone and handing the redhead her own Bluetooth headphones.

"I mean, it used to inspire me. I used to write a bit back in high school" she says, taking the headphones in her hands before having an idea. "Well, I could go through the stuff I wrote in high school!" Anne exclaims with excitements. "Maybe revising that could give me some inspiration!"

Stella smiles warmly at her before ruffling the redhead's hair.

"There you go, Stella Maynard, great advice giver — sometimes"

"Thank you, S"

"I'll leave you alone now" she says, grabbing her backpack. "Gotta study and see if I find the love of my life at the library!"

[PLAY THE SONG!]

Anne can't help but roll her eyes as she watches her leave. As soon as Stella's gone, she plays her favorite song. It's been a while since she last heard it — something quite unusual considering it is indeed her favorite song in the whole world. But it's also a song that reminded her of Gilbert.

Shaking the boy off her thoughts, Anne flickers through the pages of several notebooks she finds on her desk's drawers. Then she finds the one she used to write in whenever she couldn't she sleep — which was quite frequent.

Matthew gave it to her maybe three or four years ago, for her birthday. The spine is a bit damaged but she loves that notebook. It also holds every thought and every feeling — it's very precious to her.

She skips the pages in which she wrote about Matthew's death to find a text titled 00:23. It was written in last year's January.

I still remember very vividly, back at that party, the memory of him and I. I was all over him. I didn't like him, he didn't like me — nor did we fall in love, because that's not how it works.

But I was lonely and I guess he was too.

And suddenly the void didn't feel so vast, not at all.

"What is this?"

There's another one, titled 3:21.

Dear someone,

I'm extremely sorry for the constant inconvenience of thinking about you most of the time. It must be exhausting to be floating and diving in someone else's daydreams when you probably don't even have a clue about it.

Said daydreams, daily daydreams, may I say, consist on the fantasy of me bumping into you in the staircase or whilst you're doing your weekly grocery shopping.

Sometimes I find myself thinking that I may be overreacting my feelings.

Maybe I don't even like you that much

Maybe it just has to do with the extraordinary fact that you are the only human I know who is able to leave me speechless,

and I talk a lot.

And another one. 1:37.

I miss you.
I guess I always knew I would when you left, but i've realised now and it just hit me like a thunderstruck.

I miss you.
I miss us.

Now we're under the same night sky, I believe the same stars must be watching over us, carefully.

I hope that you miss me and I hope that you think of me every single night when you look out of the window just like I'm doing now.

I hope that you think about us,
about what we were
and were not
and what we could've been.

Maybe the stars, which we were so close to once, will put us together back again.

Anne doesn't know what she's feeling right now. Anger? Shock? Confusion?

Yes, definitely confusion.

She's been feeling like that a lot lately.

Maybe it's time to put an end to that constant state of confusion for once.

Maybe.

She closes her laptop and takes off her headphones, defeated and even more confused than she was before.

___

June 10th, 2019

Anne's decided to go for a walk — they do say is one of the best things you can do to clear your mind after a massive writer's block. Who knows, perhaps the tall skyscrapers and endless avenues covered with a trail of green trees could inspire her into writing something decent for once.

Yesterday's attempt of searching for inspiration in her own notes only messed her up even more than she was. So she's decided to take this morning for herself.

Walking down a street she's never walked before, she spots a tiny coffee shop that reminds her of her place with Gil-

that reminds her of a coffee shop she used to go a lot when she was in Avonlea. Yes, she can remember it so clearly — that secret hideaway in between where Cornelia Street and Hook's Walk meet. Surrounded by the safety of old brick walls and hanging plants, it was the perfect place for a cup of coffee and the company of a good book (and perhaps something or someone else too).

She's staring at her own reflection in the old windows of the coffee shop that she doesn't noticed how a figure approaches her from behind, tapping on her shoulder before calling out her name.

"Anne Shirley-Cuthbert?"

She turns around as soon as she hears the voice.

It's a girl. Tall figure, chestnut hair, pale skin, eyes that are a mixture of blue and green eyes and an expression of serenity in her face. They went to school together, but she usually went unnoticed.

"Oh, hi! Nicole, was it?"

"Yeah, hi" the girl replies quietly.

"I didn't know you lived here in New York" Anne exclaims. "It's good to see a familiar face around"

"I got in this semester, actually. Fine Arts"

Anne notices now Nicole's outfit. She's wearing a denim overall that's way too big for her with paint stains all over. It looks cool, though — it literally screams Fine Arts student.

"Really? My dorm mate studies Fine Arts too! Stella Maynard"

"Oh, yes. She's really cool" Nicole smiles faintly. "You were friends with Jane Andrews, right?"

"Yeah, we lost a bit of contact, though. But still friends"

Nicole smiles again. "She's cool — she talked to me during Prom, you know? I was so thankful because I didn't really have... any friends in high school"

"You know, maybe we could hang out some time- I could show you around, this city can be quite intimidating"

"Yes, thank you, Anne. I'd love to"

Anne looks at the coffee shop again, through the dusty windows. "Wanna join me for coffee?" she suggests, looking back at Nicole.

___

Everyone who knew Ruby Gillis wouldn't describe her as a stressed person. They would choose vivacious, romantic or light-hearted instead.

But those people didn't know Ruby Gillis during finals. She's been trying to concentrate for that fateful Human Psychology test she has next week, but, oh, it's been impossible.

As she sits on her desk, trying to memorize very difficult concepts, she hears a knock on her door.

Desperate, she stands up to open the door, only to reveal her boyfriend — yes, Jerry Baynard is her boyfriend and he's still not used to that word, although he loves it — standing there.

"Surprise!"

"J? What are you doing here!" she says, a bit surprised but unable to hide a smile.

"Your mom let me in"

"I told you I cant hang out today, I have this psychology in a few days and-"

"I know" he casually says, handing her a paper bag. "I just came by to bring you a finals survival pack"

She accepts the present, checking the inside of the bag. Just as she does, another wide smile creeps up her face, lighting up completely.

"Chocolate and gummies!"

"That's a survival pack, right. Although I have one more thing for you"

"What is it?" She says with excitement, sounding a bit too childish — not that Jerry's bothered about that, anyway. "Is it a kiss?!"

"No" Jerry chuckles. "But I can give you that too, after you open this"

Ruby notices then that he's carrying another bag, whose inside holds a squared slim... box?

"Open it"

Ruby tears the wrapping paper, not knowing what to expect. It's not her birthday, neither their anniversaries. Why the present?

As soon as she realizes what the present is, she jumps into his arms, kissing him all over his face.

"Taylor Swift's new album? Really? Really, Jerry?"

"I knew it would cheer you up" he says between kisses.

"God, I love you! I love you so much!"

"I love you more, but now, go back to study. I'm sure you'll kick some ass in that exam" he says after giving her a last kiss and leaving her standing there, under the door frame, in a complete state of happiness.

___

"Well, Jerry got a job in Avonlea, so he's still there. Diana lives in Charlottetown now, Ruby's attending P.E.I University with other of our classmates, but she still lives in Avonlea"

Anne is updating Nicole MacKenzie on her friend's lives lives — the other girl just nods attentively at everything she's saying, and Anne understands now that she's a girl of very few words, more of a listener than a talker. But she's really good company.

"And I'm here, far away from all of them. Except from my boyfriend, of course" Anne says as she sips her coffee. "He studies here too"

"Gilbert Blythe's here?"

Anne chokes on her coffee and starts coughing ridiculously. Wide eyed, Nicole stares at her.

"I'm sorry?" Anne says quietly.

"Isn't he your... boyfriend...?"

"What? No! No, he's not. Charlie Slone is my boyfriend"

Nicole gives her a confused look followed by a disappointed one. Anne knows that look — it's the exact same look that Tillie gave her when Anne told her she was still dating Charlie. It was also the kind of look that Diana gave her when she told her she couldn't lose a person like Gilbert.

Anne's getting tired of that kind of look.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" Nicole starts to say.

"It's alright"

"He seems like a good guy, anyway" Nicole says, holding her cup with both of her hands and looking down at her feet. "He chose me for his team in Gym once. Where is he now?"

"Philadelphia" Anne shifts awkwardly in her seat. She'd rather not talk about him. "Medical school"

"He's pretty close then" Nicole looks up to Anne, giving the redhead her usual shy smile. "You must've seen each other a lot"

"Not really" Anne says — now she's the one that's looking down at her feet under the tiny wooden table of the coffee shop. "I haven't seen him in a while"

___

A/N

Chapter 1! YAY! I was so excited for you to read this :)

First of all, PLEASE don't freak out about Roy, he's sort of an irrelevant character, I just took his name for Gil's roommate as well as I did with Stella (she's a character from the books too)

Anyway, I WANT TO READ YOUR THEORIES, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT

By the way, a new CBC promo just came out!!!!