"I am still surprised," Ma says.

"It took her a lot of courage to come here. I was surprised when she agreed at once. She must have missed him a lot." Shahid says, sipping his tea.

"If only, she could be here on his last days." I could hear Ma sniffling.

"She didn't want to hurt him anymore after that day," Shahid assures Ma.

I am glad at least someone could. Because I wasn't in a state to take responsibility for her. And honestly, I still am not.

About 6 years ago

"Kanak, you stay out!" the doctor pushes me out of the room. Thankfully Ma and Shahid were there to catch me.

They rush in to tend to Dad. He was breathing heavily and shouting. He was shouting at me.

"No! She isn't my daughter! She is lying!" he kept on beating his hands and legs. I was worried that he would hurt himself so I tried to go into the room. But Ma stopped me.

"It's better that I go." She pats my arm and heads towards the room. All I could see was her back and my Dad's adamant screams.

It had been a while since the screaming has stopped. I was sitting with Shahid in the living room, anxiously biting my nails. The words still rang in my head.

"She isn't my daughter! She is lying!"

But all I could think was he wasn't in his right mind. Alzheimer's can do that to you. He was detected a few months ago but it has been very hard lately. He wouldn't remember things. And now, he was starting to forget people.

The door gets closed and it wakes me from my thoughts. I see Ma and the doctor walking towards me with this unreadable expression. My heart was beating faster because I don't want to hear what they have to say.

"How is Dad?" Shahid comes to my rescue when words wouldn't escape my mouth.

"He is stable now. But...." The doctor turns to me with eyes that were screaming 'We are sorry'.

"But what? Is he going to be okay?" I ask him. He wasn't answering. I turn to Ma with the same pleading eyes.

"Ma? What is going on?" but she hides her face from me, crying.

"Kanak, there is something you need to know." The doctor starts. I still look at him with curiosity.

"It seems he doesn't have any memories of you."

I step back a little, composing myself, "Yes, I know that. But what is the problem?"

I still couldn't understand.

"And if we try to remind him of memories which he is certain he doesn't have, can give him panic attacks like these. It can be worse."

I nod, taking in the information. I still don't understand what the doctor was hinting towards.

"We decided that it will be better if you don't meet him, for a while."

My heart sank after listening to this. It sank to its lowest level and I couldn't float anymore. I stuttered, "Yes.... okay.... I get it. I'll be in my room, keeping an eye on him."

I was still hopeful.

"No...." the doctor denied. Shahid looks at him confused.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"She should not live here for a while." He kept a straight face when he said this and I swear, I wanted to punch him so bad.

"How long is that while?" trying to hold in my tears but they still fall out. They have always been unfair to me.

I didn't notice but Ma was already sobbing. Shahid held her, letting me take control.

"We are not sure. But this is the best way to avoid any situation like this in the future."

I needed a time frame. One week? One month? Something?

I looked at Ma. "Why don't you live with Shahid for a while?" she says between her sobs.

My heart couldn't sink anymore. I ran to my room upstairs.

"Kanak!" Shahid shouts to stop me but I run.

Somehow, that running felt as if I was running away from my emotions.

Flashback Ends

"How did the relatives react?" Shahid was still sipping the tea.

"You know how they are. They wouldn't understand why Kanak did it." Ma understood me. Shahid did too.

But they all had expectations that I would come. Even I had that for myself. But as always, I end up hurting people.

Yes, I did not attend my dad's funeral.