I am woken up from my dream as the train halts, me practically falling on Shahid. He catches me by my arm, holding me steady.

"Are you okay?" he looks straight into my eyes with so much sincerity. I don't deserve it.

I quietly nod as the train finally stops. It has finally arrived at the station and judging by the smell of chai, it was early in the morning.

"We are here. Ready?" Shahid asks me with the same sincerity and all I could do was nod. I mean I couldn't back off now, right? We are practically here and there was no turning away now.

I was finally back to where I belong. I was finally back to face my memories.

Shahid puts the luggage and gives a hand to me. His hand was as warm as always. I hold them and get down.

"Oh, you are cold. Here." He puts gloves on my hand to warm my fingers. But my heart was still cold.

"Wait here. I'll look for kaka." And runs off to find our family driver. We called him kaka for his specific characteristics of acting like one. He would always spoil me by giving me everything my parents would deny me. He would always sneak me out of my house during suffocating nights. And here I am, waiting for him to rescue me again.

I nod quietly again, knowing that Shahid did not see it. I look around the station. It was good that there wasn't much crowd. The smell of chai was prominent and I tread towards the small eight-year-old boy selling it.

"CHAI! CHAI!" he looks at me approaching, "Five rupees a cup."

I hand him a ten-rupee note, signaling him to keep the change. The tea was steaming hot and it provided some peace to my nose. Breathing in the fresh air of grass, flowers and familiar people.

I still stand on the edge waiting for Shahid and our luggage, staring at the hill in front of me. A blotch of infrastructure on top was what I was focusing on. It was my house. I mean, it still is but I just don't live there.

I keep staring at it. I don't know if staring at it would magically make it disappear but I'll be thankful if it did. It will take away those memories too. Don't get me wrong. Even with my mom living there alone, it does get lonely for her. And for me, everything will be gone with the house gone.

I am broken away from my thoughts when I hear a familiar voice calling me.

"Kaka is here. Come, let's get you in before you become the ice queen." Shahid chuckles as he holds my hands and then the suitcase in the other. We won't be staying here for long so one was enough.

He doesn't wait for my response and I walk away with him, glancing at that blotch of a house far away. Now that I will be nearing it, I feel my heart beating faster.

Shahid opens the car's door for me and I sit in. He loads the suitcase in the trunk and sits beside me, closing the door. Kaka looks back, smiling at me.

"Long time no see, Kanak." He smiles with his teeth out. Some must have fallen due to his old age.

I smile back.

"Mom didn't come?" Shahid enquires.

"I kept it as a secret from madam. She thinks you are coming tomorrow." He giggles as he turns the engine, revering the steering wheel.

"We are in for a surprise then, Kanak." Shahid claps his hand like a happy seal looking at me. I try to suppress my smile. He is cute.

I look out of the window as Kaka and Shahid talk about all the nonsensical things in this world. The noises fade out as I reminisce looking at the scenery. Nothing seems to have changed.

"That's the beauty of small towns. They never change. Right Kanak?" Shahid asks me. I nod, not looking at him but enjoying the scenery.

I don't know when the car stops and when I get out of it. I realize it when Shahid is in front of the door, knocking. I am broken from my trance as I look at the familiar door. Teak wood with intricate designs. The doorknob of metal. A door knocker with a simple fairy-like design. Everything is the same. Even the nameplate.

"Rashi and Jay Mehrotra"

Even though the people aren't.

We could hear footsteps approaching and Shahid starts tidying up his hair. He doesn't realize that my mother already loves him and he doesn't need to do it. But I don't stop him.

The doorknob clicks and a figure opens the door with a creak. The first thing I noticed was the grey hair. I remember teasing her about this and promising myself that I would never end up like this.

The shock was pretty evident on her face as Shahid gives her a big hug,

"SURPRISE MA!" I am pretty sure she became deaf. But her eyes were on me. Straight up staring into my soul. Just like I was staring at this house from far away, wishing for it to disappear.

"Kanak....." she says and Shahid releases her from his hold.

"Yes, ma. She finally agreed to come." He steps back a bit, letting me come forward to hug her.

I hugged her and she smelled like home. The home I avoided for so long.

"Oh, Kanak....." and I knew from her voice that she was crying.

I was home.