Introduction.

Does anyone remember a memory exercise used by school teachers and music teachers titled : all good boys deserve fruit? I think both my classroom teacher and music teacher used this, but I can't recall what it was meant to help me remember. It's not really important, except that I've borrowed this idea for the title of two stories I'm about to tell you.

All Good Dogs Deserve Cake. A G D D C( I'm sure naughty dogs think they deserve cake too).

The two stories are both about dogs eating cake that they shouldn't, because it wasn't for them.

Both stories are deliciously funny and the second one I remember as if it was yesterday, even though I was only about eight or nine, so the era was the late 'fifties.

All Good Dogs Deserve Cake; Story One;Harry.

My parents have been proud owners of labrador dogs for about forty years. Most have been yellow, but the last four ( they usually have two at a time) have been black. Like most labs, they're affectionate, people-loving and food- loving, which of course results in their getting rather fat. They're large,strong dogs and you just about have to brace for impact  when walking in the door as they throw themselves at you for pats and attention.

' Say hello to my dogs', my Mum would say. 'They're pleased to see you'.

'I know', I'd reply, 'I've already said hello and patted them about four times'.

' Well, do it again', said Mum.

My husband, the kids and I were just trying to make our way to a chair without being knocked over.

You've probably guessed that you have to love Mum's dogs as much as she does and I do; just that I like cats better. They don't huff and puff over me with bad breath, or knock me over or dribble at me while I'm eating.

This story features Harry, a large black shiny lab who adored his food and would go to any lengths to obtain ' forbidden extras'. My Mum had to hide food from Harry or put it on the high kitchen shelf which was out of his reach. You couldn't leave anything around that he might be able to get to and over the years, he'd managed to steal cheese ( almost the whole block), licorice and other goodies he wasn't meant to have.

Around this time my Dad had befriended a pleasant but very fastidious Englishman called Dean ( not his real name). He worked at the same company as Dad, though had a different job.

After a while, Mum and Dad used to ask Dean to lunch, as he didn't have a wife or kids and his only family were still in England.

I think Dean enjoyed going to my Parent's house up in the Adelaide hills, with distant views of blue hills,paddocks that were green or brown, depending on the season; and of course the animals of which there were many ( including horses, cows,donkeys and even geese) and yes he too had to brace for impact when greeted by Harry and Belle ( also black)

One such lunch at which Dean was invited, he brought with him a very delicious Cheesecake from the Cheesecake shop. Do they have this franchise in the U.S or England or anywhere else? I'm not sure what particular variety it was,though that's not important. Probably a basic lemon-y one as my parents tend to like simple food.

I should add that I wasn't there on this particular day and am just relating my Mum's account.

Mum was busy and left the cheesecake on the kitchen cupboard, while she served the first part of their lunch. Her kitchen had two shelves, one about waist high for preparing food and the other was for ornaments and of course anything you wanted to keep away from Harry, who was a real 'food fiend'. Belle, the female,loved food too, but she wasn't as naughty or greedy as Harry. He was the one you had to watch.

I reckon you might just about have guessed what happened next! Am I right? My Mum and Dad cleared the plates and took them around the other side of the partition (thank goodness for the partition) into the kitchen , in order to serve the cake.

However, what greeted Mum's eyes was the cheesecake, well about three quarters of it, on the floor and in the process of being devoured by a very ecstatic Harry. Belle most likely helped him eat it, but it would have been Harry who jumped up and pulled it down. Mum had forgotten to put it up at the higher level. Mum was mortified, as the cake on the floor was irretrievable and there was only a smallish piece left that was edible.

My Mum is a quick thinker though and tidied up the remaining cake, put it on a plate with some ice cream she had left and served it to Dean, saying that she and my Dad were full and they'd have theirs later. Fortunately Dean was none the wiser and never found out what had happened to his dessert contribution.

Harry by now was full of cheesecake and lying contentedly, snoring and taking up a large amount of space on the kitchen floor, along with Belle.

Sadly, my Mum no longer has her labs or my Dad. My Dad died about six weeks ago and shortly before that,Belle, my Mum's best friend, as Dad was living in a nursing home, also died. Mum of course misses them both terribly.

I must say it still feels strange not to have a big black dog running to the door to greet us when we visit Mum or gazing longingly at our piece of cake that we have with our tea or coffee.

I loved Mum's labs but I was always  glad to come home to our cat and I'm not looking forward to the day she dies; as she's an old cat and you never know.

All Good Dogs; Story two : Stefanie

Here's the second story which takes place in my old Primary ( Elementary School to those in the U.S) at morning recess time.

In most Aussie schools, back in the'Fifties' and 'Sixties' the pupils had lunch sheds which were wooden buildings open at one end, with long benches around the walls and two back-to-back pew type seats down the middle. During lunch times,these were filled with the noise of school kids crammed together; chewing, taunting, shouting and throwing, particularly on a wet day ,when the pupils got frustrated with not being able to play outside. It was a real cacophany.

On this particular morning, there were just two kids in the lunch shed, me and a slightly younger girl called Stefanie. I was about eight or nine; she must have been about seven. I'm not sure where all the rest were, but that isn't relevant to the story. Stefanie sat opposite me. We weren't actually friends and I didn't know her all that well, except that her Mum also taught at this school. I'd always regarded little miss Stefanie as rather spoilt and whinge- y, who'd go running to her Mum at the slightest provocation. Anyway, I noticed Stefanie taking out her lunch-box, and unwrapping a large and very tempting looking piece of chocolate cake,with a cream filling and chocolate icing; the sort of cake that anyone would be pleased to eat, including big bounding red-setter dogs..Yes, I'd noticed this dog in the playground earlier and now he was making a bee-line for the lunch shed.

Meanwhile, Stefanie, the greedy little brat, took a large bite of her cake, some of which of course stuck to her nose and around her mouth. She then spread the wrapper out fully and laid the unfinished cake ( at this stage, it was still a nice big piece) next to her, ready for the next delectable mouthful. The red setter came closer and was now inside the shed, sniffing expectantly.

Stefanie's attention was diverted for a second or two and she looked the other way and in that split second,I saw the red setter slide his long nose along the bench, open his mouth wide and gleefully scoop up that chocolate cake in one gulp.

I can still recall his joyous expression as he finished that cake. I'm sure he couldn't believe his luck. He looked so pleased with himself and was still licking his lips when Stefanie turned back to pick up her cake for another bite ,but it had all disappeared. Just as quickly as that!.

I was sniggering, but trying to hide it behind my hand. I'll also never forget the look on Stefanie's face; Shock/Horror doesn't do it justice. She let out a loud scream and began to howl angry tears.

She yelled at the dog something like;'Get away you horrible dog'. Yes, pretty lame and I'd love to hear what kid's today would say. Still, back then, we were certainly less inclined to swear if we were'nice children'.

The red-setter seemed quite unperturbed by her outburst and lolloped off, still very contented and happy, as you would be if you'd just scored a piece of mouth-watering choccy-cake you weren't expecting.

Stefanie, still wailing, ran off ,probably to her Mum's classroom and I know it's awful and mean, but I was rocking with laughter. I was going to remember this day forever!.

P.S; not related to the above story,although still involving Stefanie, I heard on the school gossip vine that Stefanie and another girl ( also from our school) were flower-girls in a wedding at one of the local churches. They were given a large flower basket to carry between them, but halfway down the aisle they managed to drop this basket and the flowers spilled all over the place. Not sure whether they were preceding the bride or behind her, but I'm sure it caused some hiccups in proceedings.

For the record, I didn't really dislike Stefanie; well, maybe just a bit. I wonder whether she's grown up to be a really pleasant human being or a disaster- prone drama queen?.

Sorry, Stefanie, these stories were just too good not to share!