Something's definitely up with Bucky.

I try to pry it out of him, but he promises to tell me during our walk. I get the feeling that something very bad is going to happen. I don't know if Bucky knows we're being followed and we're leaving without any supplies, or if our relationship has become so complicated that it's reached its end. But it can't be that, unless I'm wrong. We're married, we aren't having issues.

Not that I'm aware of anyway.

He doesn't act like something's off; he has my hand in his like always every time we go anywhere together. I can't help but steal side glances at him. If only I could read minds so I can get to the bottom of this faster.

What's even worse is that our walk is during the night. We're in one of the lesser known parks of New York. Bugs chatter around us, I hear the occasional hoot of an owl. The path we take seems menacing with the trees looking as though they're prepared to grab us at a second's notice. At some point it almost feels as though we're in the woods, not New York. The only thing that reminds me that we're in The City That Never Sleeps is the busy sound of traffic.

"Can't you tell me now?" I whisper.

"Not yet. I promise I'll tell you."

I purse my lips, feeling frustration set in.

I feel like we've taken an extremely long walk when, finally, Bucky decides to halt. I get right in front of him, feeling anger bubble in me.

"Alright, what's going on?" I ask neutrally. "Have we been found? Is that why we had to leave?"

"No."

"Did S.H.I.E.L.D. say we're needed?"

"Why would I take you out here if that was the case, Dani?"

"I don't know!" I fume. "I know something's wrong, Buck. Is there something wrong with...us?"

A smile quirks on his lips. "No, nothing's wrong with us. I would have let you know, I promise."

I shoot him an inquiring eyebrow. "Then what's got you bothered?"

"I just needed some fresh air."

"You never need it." My brows come together. "Why are you acting so strange?"

"A walk at night is strange to you?"

"For you, yes. You've never wanted to do this. What's wrong, Bucky?"

He sighs loudly. "I've been fighting myself a lot lately."

"What does that mean?"

"I've been seeing things again, remembering things. Things I already know but for some reason my mind wants to remind me of." His expression darkens.

"And you wanted to tell me out in a park at night?" I tilt my head. I run my fingers through his hair. "Look, if we are being watched, and this is why you're acting, tell me." A tiny bit of panic is settling in now.

I know Bucky needs comfort, but I don't think kissing solves anything. I don't necessarily pull away, because I figure he needs it. Who am I to deny him something that he thinks he needs? I'm careful with him even though he's hardly fragile. I don't want to tick him off somehow, with his emotions on the fritz right now.

I feel something touch my abdomen. At first I think it's his hand or...something else, but then when I think about it, neither seems logical. It's pressing a little bit into my body, and my brows furrow. Our foreheads touch when we break for air, I feel him slightly tremble.

"Why did you have to say something?" he mutters under his breath. "Why did you have to go and make this hard?" His bionic arm clamps firmly on one of mine.

I open my eyes and search his. "What are you doing?" I say in a slight panic. I try to move my arm out of his grip. "Buck, let go."

"And let you get away? I could do that, but I don't want to make it worse than it already is

"Make what worse? Bucky, you're really starting to scare me now."

"You should be afraid."

It's not until the object is pressed even deeper into my body that a scary thought comes to mind. It's the last thing that I expect to think is here with us.

A gun. I've got a gun on me.

"No," I whimper, feeling the tears gather in the corners of my eyes. "Oh God no, Bucky...What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, it's what they did," he spits. "They're behind this, Dani, not me."

I don't believe this. After all this time...he's been on their side! But why not go after other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents instead of just me? My head is starting to spin, I feel like I'm on the verge of passing out in his arms. "What have you done?" I hiss at him.

"I don't want to do this, I really don't." I can see the hurt in his eyes. "I have no choice, though."

"Yes, you do, Bucky." My lower lip quakes. "You don't have to do this."

"You don't understand. If I don't...I can't even begin to tell you what might happen."

"All this time...you were playing me?"

"I didn't want to." He sounds like a small child.

"Were you even yourself the day you came back?" He knows exactly what day I'm referring to.

"Yes." He says it rather pointedly. "I wasn't the Soldier, I promise."

"Should I even believe you?" I whisper harshly. "Should you even have the right to say 'promise' after this?"

"Dani—"

"When did you turn?"

"When you weren't around."

"After that whole incident with them, after all we've been through, and you've been on their side?"

"I didn't jump ship willingly! I've tried to fight it, I swear. I've tried to find loopholes. I fought, but I started too late." He looks down at his feet. "It's tearing me apart."

"And here I thought you were with me."

"I am, Dani," he whines. "You make it sound as though I've been Hydra from the very beginning! You think I was a double agent during the time you were trying to regain your memories? Do you think I could act such hatred towards Hydra? Do you think I was playing double agent and let Jessabelle into the cottage that day?"

I flounder for words for a moment. "N-no, I don't. I know you wouldn't, because I know you. You would have sooner let me go and distanced yourself from me instead of be with me and hide that fact." I can hear my heart shattering. "They didn't give you that chance."

"Like I said, I tried to find loopholes. They made it airtight."

"You hid this from me for all this time..."

"I didn't want to."

I nod. "They cornered you with no way out." I laugh bitterly. "Hydra's a bunch of actors. Liars. Monsters."

I hate to call him all that, but that's what he is. An actor. A liar. Hydra's pet. But I can't put the word "monster" to him, only to the Winter Soldier. He may look like the Soldier now, but I'm still seeing Bucky Barnes. A very emotionally compromised, tortured, broken Bucky Barnes. Someone who wanted nothing more than to be done with Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D. Someone who wanted to settle down with the girl he loved and live in his home state with her, spend the rest of his life with her.

The thought suddenly occurs to me: "You're not bringing me to them."

He picks his eyes up to look at me sadly.

I let the tears fall quietly. Never in my life did I see this coming. Betrayal by the very person I trusted most in this world. By the man I married. He doesn't belong to me anymore, I guess he never has.

"They gave me orders to kill," he says hoarsely. I don't think he's acting just so he can make me feel better. "I knew I couldn't bargain with them. They knew you wouldn't comply if I took you back."

"They're smart," I say flatly. If there's one thing I can take from Hydra, it's that not all of them are idiots. Some of them are evilly smart. I see their perspective. If I won't join them, I'm a threat to them. "We could still fake it, though."

"No, they need legitimate proof. It would make things worse on the both of us if we tried and failed." I allow him to push his forehead on mine again. "Be thankful they didn't give me a specific way they want you dead. I had to choose that."

I guess that's something to be thankful for even though I'm seconds away from being murdered by the man I love.

"I'm sorry it has to come to this, Dani, I really am. But in a way, this isn't bad. At least Hydra won't get a hold of you."

"It's not a good thing. I'll lose you."

"We always lose people we care about most in the end."

I hate that his words have a startling, grim ring of truth to them.

"You were wrong, you know," he whispers. "I'm the bad guy you've told me that I'm not. I'm not someone to look up to."

"Bucky—"

"I'm the villain. I wish I had died a hero that way neither of us could see me turn into this."

"Shh." I put my fingers on his lips. "Don't ever let me hear you say that again. I know who you are, and it's not a villain." I sniff. "You're someone who's fought tooth and nail to get himself free from the evil that's surrounded him for the majority of his life."

He takes my fingers away from his mouth. "I—"

"Shh," I mumble again. "Can I ask one thing of you, Bucky?"

"What is it?"

I kiss him desperately. "Make it quick and painless, for the both of us." If he loves me, he won't make me suffer. If he wants to not torture himself, he won't drag this out.

He lets go of my arm only to push me against him more—like that's even possible. I grab at his face delicately, tracing his jaw line with nimble fingers. It'll be okay. It'll all be okay, I think soothingly. Vanessa, I'm coming to join you soon.

"I love you, Danielle Finley," Bucky declares under his breath.

"I love you too, James." I choke out a laugh.

I don't hear the bang; I don't feel the impact of a bullet. Instead, Bucky blindsides me with a prick in the neck. It jolts me, and I watch as the needle falls into the grass.

I can't prepare myself for what comes next. My body gives out; thankfully Bucky is right there to catch me in his arms. He takes us both down to the ground, where I'm convulsing in his arms, choking out raspy breaths. All he can do is watch helplessly, cradle me in his arms, and stroke my hair to help me through the process.

All I can grab of him is his shirt, as though it will anchor me to the world. My vision shakes violently; I can somehow feel myself slipping away. It's an indescribable feeling and a very somber one.

I'm starting to get tunnel vision. The darkness of the night makes me think that death is coming so much quicker. I think of many things to try and soften this fatal blow. Vanessa. S.H.I.E.L.D. My parents. Hydra. Jessabelle. The wedding. The past few New Years.

I look up; try to imprint his image in my dying brain. I try to picture that cheeky smile he always gets on his face when he's smug about something or when he makes an innuendo. I want to see light in his eyes, a light that always seemed to shine a tad bit brighter when in my presence. I don't want to forget him, all the things that we went through: our first kiss, the time we realized we were in love with each other, the proposal, our wedding.

I don't want to forget Bucky Barnes. 

**[grabs Cap's shield] Please don't be mad, readers. It's an alternate ending for a reason. I'm an 'what-if' kind of epilogue writer. There's a good, happily ever after, and then there's the pessimist, twisted ending as this one is.

Either way, whatever epilogue you like more (or maybe you like them both the same), both (I think) satisfy the story.

I hope this ending was just as fitting as the original ending for you all. Just remember: the ending to this story is whichever you like best, or maybe you like them both.**