Assalam-o-Alaikum!

Another quickyyyy! 

Guys the End has begun, Inn Shaa Allah four more update will be there.

42| Old Bonds 

"But I wanna sleep here with you, ask chachoo to take her away" Ayesha whined with a lot of stubbornness in her tone while Fatima cried holding my index finger not letting me go.

"Acha acha okay okay! Don't cry you two, I will sleep in the middle and you two can sleep with me on either sides fine?" I tried to come up with a solution.

"No I won't sleep in the corner, there is BOOBOO!!!" Fatima made a terrified face and pointed at the wall with the bed, where silhouettes of a few birds had been painted. I looked at the wall with a frown and couldn't help but laugh at her expressions.

"Darling there is no booboo, am here with you, you can hold my hand"

"No I won't sleep in the corner" she started to cry much louder and I looked at Ayesha, she was elder and I dunno why but we always assume mature approach from the elder sibling but Ayesha wasn't the one from whom you can expect such things. 

"Aeysha beta fatima choti hea na, ap samajhdar ho, aj sojao kal paka dadyy will sleep with his elder princess, theek?"

"No!" Ayesha was the lioness of my house, she would never agree to anything else than what she wanted and I knew this.

I heaved up a sigh and then looked at Fatima a big fat tear placed on her cherry cheek, I wiped it up and kissed her forehead. "Okay I will sleep in the middle and will face your side, and when the booboo will come I will fight with him and won't let him come near my baby, fine now?"

Fatima made a face, thought for a while and then wiped her cheeks. "Okay" I smiled and finally able to put them to sleep, I laid in the middle facing Fatima who hugged me with both her arms and hid her face in my chest.

How will I ever be able to detach them from me? jo mein kerna chahta hoon wo khaternak hea, mager zaroori bhi.... werna ye aag kabhi nai bujhey gi mager ye farishty hen, in k pas hoty hue ye sab....inn ki masoomiyat chinn jaye gi, ye mein kesey ker paoon ga?..... there were two voices inside me, opposing each other. I shut my eyes firm to ignore them. 

Ayesha was never that cuddling kid, she would always sleep in her room and had hardly disturbed anyone in night, she was independent and reserve but after Amna left us she had become all sensitive and a total cry baby.

I felt she brought her hand up and held my little finger in her little palm, fisting it firmly as if she would never leave it. I smiled, and a tear escaped the corner of my eye. After a little while Fatima turned to the other side in deep sleep but Ayesha was still holding my little finger and wasn't ready to let it go.

I closed my eyes.

And all of a sudden the warmth was gone, I felt alone. Somebody snatched them, took them away from me, my heart started to sink down at the thought.. My hands fisted and my eyes fluttered open. Breaths were ragged, the pain in my chest was still there.

Suddenly I felt something peculiar; my hand.... I looked to my left and my heart clenched inside my chest finding her there in front of my eyes.

Ayesha!

She was sitting on the carpet on the floor, with her head resting on the brim of my bed and her hand holding my little finger. My eyes watered up, was it a dream?

"Ayesha!" with the other hand I touched her head, trying to confirm was it a dream or I had become lucky. She was there, actually there. I was reality. A smile took place of the tears.

Kitney saal khud se door rakha, or aj jab mila to bajaye seeney se lagane k..... kitna bura baap hoon mein. Kitna sang dil kitna sakht, sahi kehti hea Zainab bhala koi betiyon k sath bhi aesa kerta hea!

Her grip was firm around my finger as she slept there, she was the same 9 years old Ayesha,the one who was stubborn and firm. Wo to kabhi khul ker kisi ko nai batati thi apne dil ka hal phir kesey khud se door ker diya mein ne isey.... Ye sochey baghair k wo kitni tanha ho gai ho gi. Kitna bura baap hoon mein!

My head hung low and tears dropped down as I cried silently.

"Daddy!" I heard her voice and my head pulled up, coming face to face with her puffed eyes and her right cheek had a tear. She wiped the tear and then looked down at her fingers before looking up at my face. "Ap ro rahe hen daddy?" she asked lowly, I couldn't reply rather shook my head.

"Jhoot" she said and softly wiped my face. "buhat jhoot bolney lage hen ap" she added making a sad face.

"I know everything dady, sab pata chal gaya hea mujhy" she said and I looked up, her eyes were bloodshot. She had cried a lot.

"I have made you cry, and I lied as well. Mein buhat bura baap hoon beta"

"or mein buhat buri beti, hea na dady?"

"betiyan bhi kabhi buri hoti hen?betiyan to buhat piyari hoti hen, rehmat hoti hen Allah ki" I looked at her and tried to smile as I touched her cheek. "it was my fault Ayesha, I should have taken you people in confidence before I....

"before you jumped into that fire of revenge" she completed my sentence. "you have always tried to convince chachoo to forget about his loss, you have always discouraged him about revenge but..."

"But I had realized beta, that sometimes revenge is all you have, sometimes this fire burns you from inside and leaves you with nothing but the urge to take revenge" I cut her through, yes it was true I had never encouraged Hussian in all that un till I felt the fire within me. 

"I wish I had told you people... I wish" I shook my head. 

"nai dady, you were right in your place, ap bata bhi detey to kia koi bhi apko wo sab kerne deta? Kabhi bhi nai. Apki jaga koi bhi hota to shaid aesa he kerta"

I looked down at our hands, Ayesha pulled up and sat with me, holding my hands. "mein nai bhoola tumhari maa ko beta, mein kabhi bhool nai sakta" saying this I felt myself a criminal, a criminal who has committed an unforgivable crime.

"Zainab was there with me when I was behind the bars; she fought for me, she was there when I felt completely broken and lost beta; she had gathered my shattered pieces, and she was there when I had almost lost myself after my first cardiac arrest...

"Dady!" she gasped holding my hands even firm, there was so much pain and disbelief in her face.

"Mein gunehgar hoon tumhara, fatima ka...tumhari maa ka"

"Please dady" she stopped me in the middle and pulled my face up, looking into my eyes I saw tears there. "am sorry I yelled, am sorry I said all that. I had no right to judge you dady, I went selfish; didn't realize parents have their lives too, they have their wishes and desires too, they have every right to live and be happy. I went selfish dady, I just thought as a daughter, mein bhool gai thi k ap siraf ek baap he to nai hen, aulad maa baap ko bandh k rakhna chaihti hea.... Wo ghalat chahti hea dady, mein ghalat thi. Am sorry"

And with this she leaned in and threw her arms around my neck, I wrapped mine around her and suddenly the pain my chest felt no more.

She sobbed over my shoulder, holding me firm in her arms. "am sorry" she hiccuped and I stroked her back softly.

"My lioness has become wise, I didn't know" I stated and she pulled back, wiping her face she smiled.

Suddenly I felt I heard a sniffle, I looked up and found her standing in the door frame, quietly shedding tears. Finding my gaze she quickly wiped her cheeks.

"Ek bat kahoon daddy?" Ayesha made me look back at her, I nodded.

"I like her" Ayesha said, not knowing that she was standing at her back and I smiled.

"I like her too" I stated and she hugged me again, my gaze went up at Zainab who was in tears once again.

Haider

I had never been that emotional in my life, not even the day when I got to know about Maya and Hussain, the day I got to know why my father never visits us, or the day I got to know the reason of my mother's love for him.

I wish Abu you had never done that, I wish sab theek hota, abhi bhi theek hea mager shaid tab perfect hota, ap or Ammi sath hoty... us ghar mein jo ap ne kitney piyar se banwaya hoga. Kia faida, eent pathar k bane makan mein dil to dharaktey he nai... eent pathar k makan mein muhabbatein to palti he nai.

But now am sure as much love as Ammi has for you, you have for her as well... doesn't matter what you did to her, doesn't matter you left her. And I know you have punished yourself, bus buhat ho gaya. Now you have to face each other.

"Uncle ball!!!!"

"Ball do na.... uncle ball!" the kids yelled, I jumped down my thoughts and looked around but before I could trace their ball, one of them came running towards me, bent down and picked up the ball from under the bench I was sitting on.

He stood back straight and glared at me. I made a terrified face. "Am sorry, didn't hear you"

"Behrey ho?" he inquired and my eyes popped out but then I laughed at his cute grumpy expressions. "tumhari waja se wo jeet gaye" he further added, pointing at his back and I peeked, tilting my head finding two small teams fighting on the pitch in the middle of the ground.

"Agar tum time per ball de dety to mein us ki killi urra deta or hum jeet jatey, sab tumhari waja se" the boy made a face and I quickly held my earlobes.

"Am sorry captain!"

"huhn!" the kid jerked his head and turned to leave. I leaned back with the bench.

Saley! aj kal to bachey bhi maafi nai dety. Aag he lagi hui hea sarey zamaney mein.

"Haider?!" suddenly her voice made me turn around. And there she was, standing at a little distance with one hand over her waist looking at me in surprise and.... anger? Well, her trade mark.

I tried to press a smile and waved. "Hi Hitler!" she walked up to my bench and looked down at me with a stare screaming....

"Are you nuts?" she blurted out and I frowned. "What are you doing here? I thought pata nai kahan chaley gaye tum" she asked and I rolled my eyes.

"look whose talking! Huhn! Khud ander chali gaeen theen ye tak nai kaha k aajao Haider, tum akeley yahan kia karo ge. Murr ker ek bar nai dekha k Haider zinda hai ya marr gaya. Huhn! Ub aa gai ho batein banane, jab mein sari rat yahan bench per thuther raha tha tab kahan theen, han bolo!bolo!"

She didn't want to but yes, a little teeny weeny part of her seemed embarrassed. But she didn't show that. She crossed her arms and said. "I thought you weren't coming. And it wasn't my fault you slept here, okay! knowing you are a big stalker I thought tumhen address to pata he hoga aa jao ge khud he" she was back in her plastic mode and I rolled my eyes.

"Itne burey din nai aaye k Haider Hussain tumhen stalk karey" I got up from the bench and stretched. she sarcastically smiled.

"London mein you stalked Faty, then started to meet her and when I tried to put a stop to that you stalked further, became Ram and came to our home, then you stalked dady and came alllllll the way to Pakistan, and if am not wrong you stalked them to their wedding anniversary" she counted on fingers and then clapped her hands, with a fake smile. "stalker of the millennium goes to Mr. Haider Hussain!"

I smiled looking at her face. "isey stalking nai kehtey isey kehtey hen apna haqq talash kerna, Miss Hitler"

"Don't call me that" she pointed her finger at me threateningly and I quickly backed off, pretending scared.

"Mein to darr gaya" I raised my hands up and she narrowed her eyes at me, throwing flames.

"Mein tumhen talaash kerti aa gai thi yahan, mager lagta hea bhalai ka zamana he nai. Parey raho bench per" Then she jerked her head and turned to walk away, I smiled and followed her.

I quickly walked past her and started to walk a step ahead her, she walked faster and came ahead, I jumped forward and once again started to walk a couple of steps ahead her. I noticed she stopped.

"What the hell you are doing han?"

I stopped too and looked at her, at my back. "peechey chaloon ga to tum bolo gi stalk ker raha hoon, so aagey chalna better hea na" I made an innocent face, she looked at me grumpily.

"tum chath bhi chal saktey ho. Aaagey peechey hone ki zaroorat nai" she pressed angrily and I raised my brow, taking the few steps back and came right with her.

"if you insist" I smiled and it took her a few moments to understand, her expressions went even grumpier and she started to thump towards the street. I walked with her, our footsteps in sync this time.

We stopped at one of the gates; made of bamboos and I could see inside the porch the lawn where Ammi used to do yoga and annoy Abu to the limits, I looked up and found the terrace, the railing was still there from where Ammi had stolen his fresh towels just to irritate him. A smile appeared on my lips as I stood there.

"what are you thinking?" I heard her asking.

"Soch nai raha, yad ker raha hoon, yadien kitni khoobsurat hoti hen na Ayesha" my gaze was still on the terrace.

"aren't you......? I looked back at her, she seemed a little hesitant and I frowned. "I mean you must be uneasy meeting him, nai?" she asked and I chuckled.

"Pagal ho? Why would I be uncomfortable or uneasy? Am not meeting him for the first time, buhat bar mil chuka hoon Taya se mein" I told her and stepped inside, pushing the gate bars, ignoring her confused expression.

Ayesha

"I was responsible for ruining so many lives Hiader, am shocked if you are not blaming me for your loss"

"I haven't lost anything Taya" he held his hands and spoke every so respectfully. I felt he was talking to my father with far more softness and respect than I had ever talked. "I have Ammi, I had dadi, and now I have you all" he looked at glanced at me and aunty.

Don't count me!

"I have always blamed myself for whatever happened with Maya, mein hamesha sochta tha k wo mujh se nafrat kerti ho gi" dady was saying.

Haider smiled. "Hairat hea Taya ap aesa sochty thy, jabkey Ammi kehti hen ap unk sab se achey dost thy" he said and dady looked at his face in utter disbelief. "she says that she had learnt a lot from you, wo apko yad ker k ek bar itna roi theen taya k mera dil ghabrane laga, mujhy laga k Ammi ko kuch ho aye ga agar wo chup na hueen to" he added, I could see the pain in his face as if the memory had stood alive in front of his eyes.

"Whatever we think we start to call it reality taya, chahe phir wo duniya ka sab se bara jhoot ho hum samahty hen woi sach hea. jesey Abbu ne soch liya tha k Aami unki dushman hen, wesey he ap ne soch liya k wo apse nafrat kerti hon gi, jabke aesa nai hea Taya" he was assuring him and finally dady smiled, nodding his head.

"you have gone to your mother, itna samahdar Hussain to kabhi nai tha"

Haider chuckled a little. "but Ammi calls me him carbon copy, wo kehti hen mein apk or Abbu k jesa hoon bilkul" Haider was smiling and I noticed his smile was beautiful; pure and innocent.

"Maya has always been a strong woman Haider, you must be very very proud of your mother" dady smiled.

"I am" Haider smiled back.

Haider sat in the lounge with Zainab aunty and dady, they were talking as if they knew each other since ages, but it wasn't aunty or dady, it was haider. Wo aesa he tha shaid; jis se milta tha uska he ban jata tha, he was a true people's person which I could never be.

"Haider beta mein nashta lagwati hoon, tum log batein karo" Aunty got up and Haider smiled before he turned towards dady.

"I cant believe it taya you have maintained much in this age even" Haider commented and I glared at him.

"What do you even mean? Dady is still young"

"oh am sorry off course, ap k samney moo se aol fol nikal jata hea Miss Hitler"

"Don't call me that" I couldn't believe he called me that in front of dady.

"Hitler?" Dady asked before he laughed and Haider joined him.

"this isn't fair, dady come on! You are laughing with him, You should snub him" I complained and dady quickly stopped laughing.

Maha | London

Eman and Noor you stay here okay, lemme see of Nano is up then I will call you inside" they had off from their boarding and I took them straight to the meet Ammi. "She will be too happy finding you two here" I smiled, Noor smile back while Eman shrugged a little uncertain.

"I dunno, Nano didn't even recognize me when we visit home last time" she complained and I smiled, holding her hand.

"She is not well darling, she has become old and started to forget things, you know she forgot Hussain mamoo the other day, she thought he is her doctor and she threw the tray of medicines at him" I told her and her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Gosh! Mamoo would have got very upset Mummy" Noor remarked, thoughtfully and I pressed a small smile, nodding my head.

"Now you two stay here, okay"

"we will be fine Mummy, you go" Eman said; they nodded, assuring me.

Holding the medicines I walked up tot the door of the hospital's room, I pushed it softly and stepped in when I saw him laying in the chair as if he had fallen down in it.

"Hussain!" I rushed towards him, his phone was lying on the floor in his feet. "Hussain you okay?" his eyes were barren and face as if all the blood was sucked out of it.

With trembling heart I turned and found Ammi sleeping in the bed, I went near her and check her pulse, and all the reading on the monitor. All was fine then what happen to him.

"Hussain! kia hua hea? I held his face in my palms and pulled it up, making him look at me. He did, but didn't respond as if he wasn't with me at all.

"Hussain you are scaring me, what happened? Doctors ne kuch kaha hea kia? Ammi theek to hen? Why are you not saying anything Hussian? What...

"Wo ghar aya tha Maha" he spoke, in ind of a trance and I frowned couldn't get anything.

"What?"

"Haider" he uttered, my frown faded.

"Haider ghar aya tha, wo mujhy janta hea Maha, mera beta mujhy janta hea" he held me by my arms as he spoke, he did not look fine as if he wasn't in his right senses.

In all those years we had never spoken of him or Maya.... Ammi came back home like a miracle, I still remember when she came back to us she used to call a name in her sleep, Mominah! And non of us had courage to ask who she was then one day she got up in the middle of the night and cried like babies, taking her name.... I still remember she was crying and blaming Hussain, he was trying to calm her down but she refused; she was hitting him over his chest and blaming him for betraying Mominah.

Mominah was Maya.....

"Mera beta mujhy pehchanta hea Maha. Wo mujh se nafrat nai kerta" a tear escaped my eye, Hussain was blabbering to himself.

I wonder what will be Hussian's reaction when he'll know that Haider has visited his home so many times, he is unaware of the fact that his son is here, right here.

But am sure Hussain will be proud of him, Haider is a perfect son, such a beautiful human being.

I knelt down and held his hands, shivering in my grip. I held them tighter.

"Nobody hates you Hussain, neither Haider not Maya. No one hates you, we all love you Hussain. Her insan se ghalti hoti hea, tum ne khud ko buhat saza de di, ub bus karo.

"You had a wife, a son... you could have a beautiful family Hussain but in punishing yourself you have punished them as well, more than you can even imagine. Mager ub bus karo. Allah ka wasta tumhen ub bus karo" I rested my forehead over our clasped hands, my tears rolling down.

....

The countdown has been started..... for the end :(

This was 5.... 4 more to go.