Assalam-o-Alaikum!

My wattpad got stuck and just allowed me to update. I dunno why but am getting disappointed by Wattpad. is ki herkatein theek nai raheen ub and its a sad state :( 

Am updating without proofread please ignore mistakes. :(

33| A Ray of Light 

Her feet trembled, hands fisted over her tummy as she held the fabric of her shirt firmly trying to hold herself from falling down, from getting weak.

Crossing the empty cold veranda her gaze roamed the surrounding; plain and simple having no such interior to be told, the walls were cemented as if the paint was still to be done on them or as if somebody left it in the middle. There were rooms opening in the veranda, doors were open but inside it was all dark at least what Maya could see from outside.

Suddenly a soft melody strike to her ears and her feet stopped, up till now the only thing she could hear was her own uneven breathing but all of a sudden a male voice had interrupted her thoughts; the voice had a glum in it as if somebody was sad, too sad to bear.

Maya's feet headed into the direction, she knew it was Arabic, it was Quran. Hussain ka Quran, she had thought and all of a sudden the hatred and pain had increased. Maya stopped in the door frame and peaked inside; a big room with matted floor, the mat was torn and shredded. Her gaze wandered and landed on the source of the melodic voice; an old man with a thin but long beard sat there in one corner busy in reciting the book he held all ardently in his hands.

At his back two men were seen, one in prostration one sitting over his bent legs and Maya could see the index of his right hand was lifted up while the rest of the fingers turned inside. Something she had seen Hussain doing. Hussain ki Namaz.

Hatred increased, she gulped the lump down and stepped in her feet started to shake and she felt weak and sick inside.

Dhoka. Fareib. Jhoot. Maya felt every word the man was uttering was laced with a lie. Her heart started to pound as she stepped forward, the man with the raised index was now getting up, he turned found Maya marching in and his forehead wrinkled.

The man with thin but long beard was still in his recitation, as if he hadn't noticed anything, no movement around him, as if all he could feel and notice at the moment was the book he had in his hands, the connection he had with the writer.

"Jhoot bolti hea apki kitaab" And Maya who was holding onto so much burst up as her feet stopped near the man with thin but long beard.

"La haula wila qoowata!" Maya heard the man standing at the back muttering. But Maya didn't care. She was still looking down at the beard man, who was still busy in recitation. "Dhoka diya apk Allah ne mujhy, jhoot bolti hea ye kitab apki, ye darhi apki or jhoot bolta hea islam apka...

"Na'oozu billah! Kon hen ap janab or kis kisam ki wahiyat batein ker rahi hen?" the man at the back had lost all his self control and stepped forward. Maya looked up with wounded eyes. "Na Allah kabhi dhokey mein rakhta hea na ye kitab, ye muqadas kitab hea. Zaban sambhal ker bat kijiye" his index raised.

"itni muqadas hea to de merey sawalon ka jawab" Maya challenged, the man frowned.

"Ap nikaliye yahan se khatoon is se pehley k....

"Shahwaiz!" the man with thin but long beard, for the first time stopped reciting and looked up at the man who was fuming now. Shahwaiz went quiet.He calmly closed the book brought his head closer to the cover touched his forehead down kissed it and got up. Then placing the book over a shelf he turned back to Maya. Still calm and contained.

He signaled and Shahwaiz left the room leaving one last spiteful glance at Maya who had dared to insult his Rabb.

"Allah se naraz lag rahi ho?" his voice was as soft as it was when he was reciting.

"Naraz apno se hua jata hea, mein to kalma perh k bhi apk Allah ki apni na hosaki" Maya was saying with a painful bitter smile which came and faded instantly, he smiled and Maya felt she hadn't seen a smile softer than his.

"Maloom ho raha hea buhat ziada narazgi hea" he nodded; Maya's anger returned which started to fad off a second back.

"Mein ne kalma perha, ap k Allah ka nam liye sache dil se per phir bhi us ne mujhy ruswa ker diya. Mein hindu to na thi k use mujh per zara bhi daya na aai....

And for the first time the man with thin but long beard stopped smiling, a sudden disbelief oozed up in his old wrinkled eyes. "Mera Rabb Hindu per bhi utna he mehrban hota hea jitna ek musalman per. Kia tum merey Rabb k liye musalman hui theen? Kia tum moninah ho?" his questions were all Greek to Maya's understanding. Mominha? Wo kia hota hea? She frowned at the old man.

"Hussain k liye musalman hui thi, kuch din bad nikah hua tha hamara or phir....." A daggar stabbed in her heart, eyes started to itch and hands fisted at her sides. "Phir ek raat or na wo musalman raha na mein" poison spread across her tongue.

"Sarey putley tor aai hoon mein, wo putley jinhen bhagwan kehti thi mein wo putley jo Maya ki berbaadi k zimedar hen, wo putley jo Maya k dard k samney nai tik sakey jhulk gaye, toot ker bikhar gaye.... ApkaAllah bhi utna he zimedar hea, Hussain ka Allah utna he zimedar hea mein nai maaf karoon gi... Maya nai maf karey gi...jhoot bolti hea ap ki kitab...

And with that Maya hysterically stepped forward, Maulana sahib stood there with his broad forehead wrinkled a little and eyes worried. Just then Shahwaiz entered, he was standing in the door frame all that time, he didn't leave at all.

"Maulana Sahib rokiye usey" his teeth gritted and worry evident in his tone.

But before that either of them could have done anything a gasp escaped Maya's lips and she held her head in both her hands, her feet had stopped right near the shelf on which the book was placed with ardent respect.

Maya's head spun badly, the whole room swirled in front of her eyes and the moment she tried to grab something she came falling on the floor; the matted floor, on the shredded torn mat.

Maya's eyes were shut and mouth partially open as she laid there like a dump while the book remained there at the top, like a crown over the throne.

"Jao Maryam ko bulao" Maulana sahib stopped Shahwaiz and instructed him, as he tried to open his lips.

.....

Pata nai kab ankh khuli thi, kab hosha aya tha wo ghanton se chatt takey ja rahi thi, khali khali aankhon se bus ek tak ghoorey ja rahi thi.

"Maya didi? Apko hosh aagaya?" Khushal came running near her and sat down with the brim of her bed. "Are you okay?" he touched her forehead, fever was still there but intensity seemed lessened. Maya didn't even budge.

"Maya didi, ap theek hen? You want to eat something? Or maybe water...." Khushal blabbered to himself when she remained quiet and got up to bring her some food when he heard her saying.

"Mein usey nai gira paai" khushal had turned, unable to understand anything.

"Ji?" he came back towards the bed where Maya was still staring the ceiling.

"Mein usey nai torr pai. Mein usey girane gai thi, khud girr gai Khushal" And khushal feared Maya had lost her senses. He slowly bent toward her and sat over the brim. Maya's eyes were barren of any emotion or sentiment.

"Maya didi, you shouldn't have come here, you know it's been three days... three days you were unconscious, Dev and his people are finding you everywhere. They couldn't suspect me because they think I am out of town for nanna ji's business."

"Mujhy quran la do Khushal" Maya sat up in the bed, pain was much better and her wounds had started to heal. Khushal stared her face in confusion. "Bring me a quran please" she begged and the restlessness on her face made his heart ache.

"But didi...." He hesitated for a moment.

"mein q bhool gai, tum bhi wohi ho... Khushal Aaneerag. Merey bhaiyon k peechey dum hilane wale ek janwar. Hato yahan se" She spatted and pushed him aside as she got up from the bed, ignoring the pain on his face.

"Didi?!" his tone laced with pain and the ache in his heart was visible in on his face. But Maya didn't care. She was wearing her slippers now. "do you really think I can betray you? I am khushal, ap ka bacha hoon mein, jeena sikhaya hea ap ne. I can never betray you"

But she wasn't listening or maybe she was but she had no feelings left for anyone, for anything.

And the moment she wrapped her shawl around her shoulders a girl entered in the room pushing aside the curtain over the door. But stopped in the mid way as she caught sight of Maya. She seemed a teenager, slim and tall girl with a shawl carefully wrapped around her shoulder covering her head.

"Oh, you are up Alhamdulilah? Kesi hen ap ub?" She smiled warmly. Khushal had left the moment he felt the discomfort of the girl.

"Am maryam, Maulana sahib ki beti" she informed when Maya remained quiet and she remembered the man with the thin but long beard, his last words were something about calling Maryam.

"You know you were unconscious for two days" She further informed; keeping the tray on the table Maya noticed a few medicines and a glass of milk.

"I want to go back to the mosque, can you please take me there?" Maya spoke for the first time, maryam smiled at her as she picked up the glass of milk and gestured Maya to sit down.

"You are in the mosque" she emphasized and Maya felt no wonder why her heart was at a strange kind of peace. "actually not exactly inside the mosque but it is a small house connected with the backyard of mosque, Abba and I live here" she handed her the glass.

"Mera dil nai please" Maya tried to push it away when she made a face as if she won't take a no.

"Pi lijiye Rabb ki naimat to nai thukratey" Maryam simply said and handed her the glass while she picked up a few capsules. Maya couldn't refuse this time.

Maryam sat on a chair placed in one corner and picked up a thin book, Maya noticed the English words inside. "Ye Mominah kia hota hea?" Maya heard herself asking, she was still holding the cup hardly a few sips she had taken.

"Mominah hota nai hea hoti hea, it's a feminine" She cut her away and maya looked at the girl's face, pushing her glasses up her nose she closed the book in her lap and turned towards Maya.

"Its simple, a Muslim agrees with the fact that Allah is one and there is none to be worshiped and he agrees with what Allah has said but...." She took a pause as she again pushed the glasses up her nose. "A momin is one who lives his whole life in accordance to what Allah had said, he doesn't only agree with it but lives for it. There is a difference" Maya just looked at her; milk was getting cold in the glass.

"Same is for a Mominha; a woman who lives for her Rabb, she hates and loves for Him, she sleeps and worships for Him. She eats with His name and she guards her chastity and remained faithful to only Him. In short a mominah loves Rabb more than she loves anyone else" and Maya felt a lump in her throat, hard and unmovable. It pained.

"So who are you? A muslima or a mominha?" Maryam was asking but Maya wasn't listening, if even she had listened she had no reply.

Maya lived there for a few days protected inside while outside Dev and Rajveer were trying to find her like hungry dogs trying to chase their prey. Searching every house every place; but they simply ignored the mosque so close to the place where they had kept her for weeks. They forgot Maya was Maya Hussain now and mosque could be the place where she must have hid herself but... true said, sometimes you are busy looking at the things far from your sight forgetting about the little things right under your nose.

Khushal had left the town for nanna ji's work without even turning back to Maya for one last time; he was deeply hurt and somewhere inside he felt Maya would take care of herself from here.

"Wo aa jaen ge mujhy dhoondtey dhoondtey. Wo aa gaye to kia karoon gi mein. Kahan chupoon gi?" Maya was thinking loud, Maulana who was having a cup of tea stopped and looked at her who was busy making circles in the moist of the muddy ground. Maryam remained quiet, she was studying for her twelfth grade exams starting a few days later.

"Kon ajaye ga beta? Hussain? Jis ka ziker kiya tha tum ne? tumhara shohar?"

Maya was living here and for past all those days she hardly talked about anything or anyone just sat in the mosque silently thinking about her life and all what had happened with her. Maulana neither Maryam tried to interrogate anything and Maya wondered what kind of people they were; selfless, calm and into their own little peaceful world.

"Wo nai aaye ga. Wo ub kabhi nai aaye ga" Maya's index still making circles.

"Usey maaf ker do beta" very quietly he had said. Maya's heart sank in, pain increased.

"maulana sahib maafi mein sukoon hea, or badley mein besukooni. Badley ki aag jala deti hea mein janti hoon mager mein Hussain ko tab tak maaf nai karoon gi jab tak mera dil nai kahe ga or jis din merey dil ne gawaahi de di hussain merey liye begunah ho jaye ga"Maulana sahib just looked at her and Maya felt he couldn't understand but reality was he did. He did understand what she was going through, the pain was so evident.

Maulana remained quiet studying her face then slowly got up and came near her, sitting next to Maya. "Beta aazmaish aag jesi hoti hea or aag to namrood ki bhi thandi ho gai thi, Ibraheem (A.s) Namrood ki aag se bin chuey, bin jaley nikal aaye thy.Rabb chahe to kia nai ho sakta"

And Maya looked up at his face; calm. "kesey?" was all she could utter and Maulana smiled.

"Mareez-e-Ishq thy wo"

Maya further frowned.

"Bandey ki muhabbat kabhi kabhi ruswa ker deti hea mager Rabb ki muhabbat aag k derya se bhi bacha lati hea beta. Bus ishq hona zaroori hea, Rabb per yaqeen hona zaroori hea. Phir dekho Rabb tumhen kabhi ruswa nai karey ga"

"to kia mein is aag mein isi liye jal rahi hoon q k mujhy Rabb se ishq nai? Q k mein ne insaan se ishq kiya tha? Kia jurm kiya tha mein ne Maulana sahib?"

He heaved up a sigh and got up from the place, Maya waited for the reply. "wo jurm nai tha, wo to rasta tha, zareeya tha Rabb k ishq tak puhanchne ka" He spoke ever so softly and Maya's frown faded. Clouds were fading off; she could see light now, just a little brim of bright light.

"itne beshumar ghair muslimo mein Rabb ne tumhen chuna,janti ho kitni khas ho gi tum rabb k liye? Janti ho kitni muhabbat kerta hea mera Rabb tum se? mager tum ne Us ka nam Us k liye nai liya ek khaak se baney bandey k liye liya to us bandey ne tumhen ruswa ker diya" Maya could hear the pain in his tone, was he sad?. "agar Rabb k liye liya hota Us ka nam to Rabb ruswa kerne walo mein se nai hea beta"

"so jao beta ub koi nai aaye ga, wo aag bujh gai hea, Namrood kia aag bujh gai hea" He was saying but Maya didn't listen, her brain stuck and eyes fixated on the ray of bright light.

"Wo jurm nai tha, it wasn't a sin nor any crime, I fell for Hussain but it wasn't the end falling for a man was destined in my fate. Allah made me do it, He wanted me to fall so that I can stand" Maya's lips trembled, her hands shivered as she went through the realization. Something stirred inside like blood gushing in her veins.

And she got up; mud from her hands fell down in her feet. She could feel the heart beats increasing as she stepped out and headed towards the mosque. There was a door connected to the house, opening in the backyard of the mosque. Maya was wrapping her shawl firm around her as she strode towards the veranda crossed it and reached the room where she first met Maulana sahib.

She didn't know why she was doing all that, why her heart was taking her there but she knew one thing she wanted peace and for that she could do anything.

"Mujhey musalman hona hea" Her words shattered the silence and Maulana who was quietly lying on the mat, about to sleep opened his eyes and looked at her face. Maya stepped inside, every inch of her body was paining but it wasn't wounds or bruises, it was something else, something gushing inside ready to explode.

"Beta, tum soi nai?"

"Mujhey musalman hona hea Maulana sahib. Kalma perhna hea is bar Rabb k liye" Maya stepped in, her eyes were wide open sleep was nowhere closer. Maulana sat up on the mat, his cap was placed near the small pillow.

"mein jan gai hoon k mein musalman hui thi momin nai, mujhy momin banna hea. Rabb k liye" and she felt she was never more decisive in her life, last time when she went to the mosque her heart and brain was at war. There was no peace but for Hussain and his happiness she did that but tonight in the pitch dark night standing in the mosque she felt it was the rightest moment of her life. She felt as if not a moment she had to waste, her heart was galloping inside as Maulana sahib stood up and took Maya with himself, he asked her to perform Wudhu'

....

"Life had turned 360 for her!" She remarked, still half amazed half pleased knowing at least something good Maya's life was headed towards. I remained quiet, looking at her as she seemed deep in thought.

"It all seems so sudden, I mean there was the day chichi was all chained up, shackled and tortured and then just a blink of an eye and everything changed. Isn't it amazing and surprising as well, in a good way off course" Fatima quickly added as I smiled shaking my head.

"it wasn't sudden Fatima, ask Maya who was going through all that every single moment felt like ages and even in the mosque she wasn't sure where her life would head then, she wasn't sure about anything fatima but she wanted to test herself and God as well" I stated, she listened every word with all her attention towards me.

"Wo Quran ko gira nai saki theen or phir jab unho ne Quran thama to us ne Maya ko kabhi girney nai diya"

"Why don't you call her Ammi? Why always Maya?" Fatima asked out of nowhere and I smiled with a frown.

"Bus wesey he." I shrugged. "Maybe cox Maya is Maya, a character and Ammi is all together a different person Fatima. When she told me all this about her past and sufferings that was the first time I ever noticed any similarities between Maya and Ammi otherwise Ammi was that typical Mom caring and worrying, jutti-fying at times and loving all the times."

"I am now desperately waiting for Haider Hussain's dramatic entry" Fatima stated, flaunting excitedly and I chuckled.

"Dramatic? Q yar mein ne kia circus kerty huye paida hona tha? Mein tumhen koi juggler dikhta hoon shakal se?" I asked and she laughed.

"Writers are juggler too by the way, the way they juggle with words and play with our emotions. Poor us!" She made a face pouting and I rolled my eyes.

"Readers are clever now days trust me we writers are afraid of them; after all they are our real stakeholders they are the ones we write for so derna to banta hea boss!"

"izzat bakhshney k liye shukriya!" Fatima smiled warmly and I smiled back.

A few silent moments and then thinking about something I asked. "At home everyone knows that...." I took a pause looking at her, she didn't get that but. "That you are here with me?"

Fatima shook her head left to right and I nodded knowingly. "Maha aani knows" but then she added.

"And.... Abbu?" I didn't look at her face but I could notice her gaze upon my face. I felt she shook her head.

"And you think he would mind if he will get to know?"

"Why would he mind that? In fact he will be happy Haider. Am sure" She was assuring me but no, I wasn't ready yet. So I let the thought away. "but anyways its not Chachoo or dadi I worry about, its Ayesha" she added and I looked at her.

"Ayesha. Your sister right? You have barely talked about her and why are you worried she is your sister and I have heard sisters are like two bodies one soul. No?" Fatima's expressions went a little glum as she looked down at her fingers in her lap.

"Ayesha loves me, I do too but she is different and am worried if she gets to know about you and about who you are.... Raaita phel jana hea"fatima was saying with a sad face and I smiled.

"Koi bat nai mein samet loon ga" I stated and she looked up at my afce with a light frown. I quickly added. "Raaitey ko I meant" and raised my palms up defensively.Fatima's frown faded and she smiled with the same crimson in her face.

"So tell me why your elder sister hates me?" i asked but she remained quiet. "bata do bata do I won't mind" I poked her arm with my index and she smiled lowly.

"Whatever happened to Mom, after that not only Ayesha even daddy started acting distant from Hussain chachoo. Ayesha thought it was all due to him, whatever he did to chachi was coming back upon us. Daddy never uttered a bad word to him but deep down he felt the same and chachoo who noticed his behavior distant himself from the whole family, very quietly though. Ayesha doesn't even stand his presence near her, she hates chachoo and everything related to him. So....." Fatima stopped to look at my face and searched my expressions maybe she wanted to know my reaction but I thought it was all natural.

"She has no right to hate Abbu. I just don't get this judgmental approach, she is no one to blame him I know Fatima you people have lost your mother and somehow coz of that strange mysterious note you believe that Ammi was at the back of all that but still Abba had nothing to do with all that" I looked straight in her eyes, somewhere her own love for Abbu shook a little and I could see that. It pained.

"She hates you too Haider" she sort of reminded me, I looked at our front. .

"Well, I don't even want her to love me" I shrugged casually and Fatima laughed.

"So that's why Abbu and dadi moved here from Pakistan?" I asked and the laughter suddenly faded off her face. All of a sudden she looked pale. She averted her gaze from my face as if she couldn't look into my eyes anymore.

"Kia hua?" I noticed her discomfort. Visible from her face.

"Chachoo and dadi moved here for Maha aani" she stated.

"Oh okay. So Phupo lives with her family or with you people?" I asked and she glanced up at my face. "I mean she must be married and having kids of her own, right?"

Fatima shook her head lowly, and I frowned as she remained quiet, suddenly the chirpy always happy fatima was replaced by a glum girl.

"Kia hua hea Fatima?" I asked softly urging her to speak and noticed she gulped down as she looked at my face, her eyes a little moistened now.

"Mein ne kaha tha na Haider, Maya ki aah lagi thi hamare ghar ko. Jab Mama chali gaeen to humein laga bus is se ziada koi bara toofan nai aa sakta hamari zindagi mein but we were wrong, Abhi to buhat kuch jalna baki tha"

....