CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
What on earth is his name?
Brianna floats endlessly through the void, seeing, and yet unseeing at the same time. Before her eyes, there is physically nothing. Even were she to open her eyes, she is certain nothing would be there. But within her mind? That is an entirely different story.
Visions of a life that feels alien to her play before her hapless eyes, tempting her, mocking her even. She remembers so many things, all at once, that it is a struggle to maintain it all. But no matter how much she remembers, there is still that one name that eludes her.
She can picture him clearly, in her mind's eye. Lanky and brooding, with a scowl that could frighten stone. Eyes like a cat's, intelligent and slanted. Hair like silk, dark and dashing. He is her lover, of that much she is certain.
What is it about this place that strips memories from one's very mind? Or is it the Gods themselves that have robbed her of something so dear? Alarmed, Brianna realizes that she doesn't even remember why she is here.
"Don't think too much about it, " a deceptively soothing voice croons. "Just quiet your mind, and forget it all. All the pain, all the struggling. This confusion can end, just as soon as you surrender..."
Pain? Struggling?
What in the world is this creature talking about? Brianna certainly doesn't remember any pain. In her mind's eye she sees only smiles and laughter, nights spent cocooned in a warm embrace.
Whatever the creature is that spoke, it hides from her view. Just like before, an endless black void stretches before her, and she suddenly finds herself curious about the fact that she is not as alone as she initially believed.
"Just let it all go, " the creature urges, "let it all go and drift away into sweet nothingness."
But why doesn't she want to?
"It's been nearly a week!" Seokjin snarls.
He's tried to be patient. Tried to hold back. For Hoseok's sake as much as for the reaper's. He's tried telling himself that Brianna wouldn't want him to blame the reaper. She'd want him to be supportive, want him to stand in as a friend in place of her to Yoongi: who has none.
"I won't let you bury her!" Yoongi roars in return.
She's going to come back. It might seem to everyone else that he has gone insane, and he really couldn't give a single shit. They're wrong. He's as clear-headed as ever. More so, even. After gaining his freedom from the Antediluvians, Yoongi has gained an awful lot of perspective. Perspective that he would have expected the Ifrit to share, considering that the genie has been around since before the reign of the cruel and heartless Antediluvians.
Nevertheless, is with complete and crystal-clear headed logic that Yoongi believes in Brianna's return.
He'd broken free of their leash, hadn't he? They'd held his immortal soul too, and in the palm of their revolting hands no less. It was his feelings for Brianna, and hers for him, that had saved him, given him the strength to snap their shackles and make his soul his own. She trusted in him, loved him despite the lack of reciprocation. Understood him, and even saw the shattered man behind the mask of indifference.
He's decided to believe in this thing between them, this love.
Seokjin attempts to, ignoring Yoongi, step around. The intention to grab Brianna's body is clear in the Ifrit's eyes, and Yoongi snaps.
"Back the fuck off."
He stands, mouth twisted in a furious scowl.
"Now."
But the Ifrit disdainfully ignores the reaper's warning and boldly attempts to walk around the other side of the bed.
Snarling, Yoongi launches himself over the bed, and Brianna's ashen body. He collides with Seokjin, and disregarding the amount of sound that his footsteps make as he takes the genie by the neck, Yoongi slams his back against the wall.
"You will not bury her!" He rages. "So forget about it! If you persist, I will carry her to a place where you will never find her. When she awakes and asks me why her best friend is not beside her, I'll make sure she knows how quick you were to abandon her."
Eyes startled wide, Seokjin regards the reaper.
"You've lost your mind..." The Ifrit mumbles in shock. "You've actually lost your fucking mind..."
The genie struggles, fingers clawing at Yoongi's hold upon his neck. The reaper fixes him with such a ferocious glare that he realizes; he has no choice but to acquiesce for now. Seokjin doesn't believe for a moment that Brianna will return. How could she? The Antediluvians, who wield a power that even he cannot control or over-ride, have snatched her soul away. Once upon a time, there was no feat a genie could not perform, no laws or consequences for the use of their magic. Everything in the world worked according to their design.
That world no longer exists, and the reality now is that he cannot save his very first friend, cannot call her soul back to this realm no matter how desperately he might wish to do so.
The reaper is living in a fantasy world. Clearly he'd fallen hard for Brianna, something that Seokjin never imagined himself admitting. He'd have to be both blind, and mentally disabled not to realize that Yoongi had fallen head over heels for his seer friend. And while there is a tiny part of him that feels incredibly guilty for not having noticed it until now, and for dogging the reaper every step of the way...
He also can't deny that, in his mind, Brianna's death is at least partially the reaper's fault.
Seokjin spent so much time, in the beginning, hating Yoongi simply for what he is. The Ifrit's aware that he's been less than kind to the reaper. And he's also aware that the reaper hasn't actually done terribly much to deserve it. But this? This is big, and bad. The ultimate loss. That's what the price for his 'protection' ended up being. The genie can't help but question the reaper. Not his intentions, as he now realizes that it isn't as if Yoongi meant for any of this to happen. No. It is his worthiness that Seokjin deems lacking.
When the reaper arrived into their lives, he'd come with honestly nothing but trouble. This is just the plain and simple truth. Sure, he hadn't brought the nephilim to their doorstep, but he also hadn't appropriately dealt with the bastard. There's no way that there couldn't have been another option. A better option. And if Jeonguk hadn't...
"No," Seokjin tells himself, "I will not blame Jeonguk for his part in this. The boy has suffered enough."
Suddenly, his brain draws the parallel between Jeonguk and Yoongi, and Seokjin staggers beneath the weight of his realization.
Not only had the reaper loved Brianna... Brianna had probably been the first person in centuries to show him any sort of acceptance. She'd loved him back, even despite all of the reasons everyone else had believed she shouldn't. Just like she had for Jeonguk, and even himself. Theirs was a different kind of love, sure, but that did not make the love between her and Yoongi any less important. Any less real.
The reaper may very well be unworthy, but it isn't as if he or Jeonguk had really been any more deserving than he.
"Come back to me. I'm waiting for you!"
That voice again!
Brianna grits her teeth against the surge of pain that rushes through her heart at the sound of that voice.
"He loves me, " Brianna thinks to herself. "He loves me so much..."
Despite her best efforts, she finds that there are definitely tears pouring from her eyes. Why does the pain in his voice speak so directly to her heart? Why does his pain hurt her so much?
"He's waiting for me, " Brianna thinks to herself. "For me? Really?"
But why?
"How long are you going to make me wait?" Yoongi murmurs softly, fingers reaching out to push the hair from Brianna's ashen face. "I'll wait forever, if I have to, but do you really need to make me wait so long?"
A tiny voice in the back of his mind tells him that, truly, forever would be more torture than he can bear. It's only been a couple of weeks since the Antediluvians took her soul, but it already feels as if it's been forever anyway.
"I miss you," he confesses, "I didn't know that I could still miss someone so much, but I do. I miss your face, and your smile. There weren't many of those to go around since we met, I guess, but the few you did show me were so stunning. Think I could see another one again soon?"
He knows that Brianna won't answer him. Not yet. It just feels so utterly hopeless to sit here and do nothing. A part of him feels like talking to her might help. He doesn't know how, or if maybe it's just his way of coping with the situation at hand, but whatever the case it's definitely better than doing nothing at all. Maybe, if she can hear his voice from the void, she'll be a little more motivated to return to him.
"There's still so much that I want to tell you, " Yoongi continues. "I broke free of the Gods' leash. That's how I know you can do it."
The reaper strokes lovingly away at Brianna's hair.
"It was you, actually, that gave me the strength to break free. So, won't you take some strength from me now?"
Yoongi has never been much of a crier. He's always bottled everything up, and shoved it down. The pain, all of the trauma and rage he'd felt... It always hurt, but he'd gotten good at burying it all and keeping his eyes dry.
But now, faced with the situation at hand, his eyes begin to water for the very first time. Tears roll down his cheeks, and he tries to stifle the sob that threatens to escape from his lips. Tries, and fails at that.
"You said you love me, " he cries pitifully. "If you really love me, then please don't abandon me. Not like this. Just open your eyes!"
"Just open your eyes!"
Brianna shivers.
The void is neither warm, nor cold, but she shivers all the same. It feels as if there are fingers upon her scalp, the touch of them loving and gentle.
"You said you love me..."
"I did? I love you? But who are you?"
She tries to open her mouth, to shout these questions aloud. This place makes it so incredibly difficult to think straight, and no matter how hard she tries, Brianna discovers that she cannot speak. She can't even move.
She struggles against it all, the lack of memory, and the limitations upon her body. Brianna isn't sure why, but the sound of that voice that continues to speak to her makes her want to believe that this is nothing more than a bad dream. However, if this is the dream, what would reality even look like?
Suddenly, flashes of memories play just behind Brianna's eyelids.
Dark hair and trembling fingers. His touch is not hesitant. He knows what he wants. Her lover pulls from her gasp after gasp, and climax after climax.
A stoic face that hides an eternity's worth of pain and torment, but she can see the sadness beneath. Seokjin doesn't see it, maybe he doesn't want to see it. His words cut her lover like a knife, even if he doesn't show it.
"He's my son."
A revelation that is not a revelation at all. She'd known, deep down. And she hadn't judged him for it, hadn't loved him any less.
Tears begin to pool against her lashes, and leak down her cheeks as the memories continue to play.
Love shouldn't have played a part. But he is irresistible. Her fingers long to card themselves through those silky locks, to discover if they are as soft as they look. It isn't long before Brianna realizes that she is doomed. She's always been a sucker for the broody ones.
He takes her as his own. "My woman" he calls her. Brianna really likes the sound of it. If he would claim her as his, then she hopes he never relinquishes that claim. There is something about him, something that pulls her in, and she has to admit that she is hooked. Hooked on his touch, despite the myriad of reasons she feels she shouldn't be.
"Yoongi!" She cries, the name rising from her lips like a prayer. "Yoongi, where are you?"
"I miss you, " his voice echoes within the space around her more clearly now.
"Yoongi, I'm scared!" Brianna chokes. "I don't want to leave you! I miss you too!"
How could she have ever forgotten his name?
It sings itself from within her very veins now.
Yoongi. Yoongi. Yoongi.
Like a mantra, she repeats his name within her head. She can feel the sensation of fingers upon her brain, the feeling of something or someone trying to rip her memories from her once more.
"Forget child, " another voice. "Forget and be free..."
"No!" Brianna shouts aloud.
Inwardly, she continues to chant Yoongi's name. It gives her strength, and makes the haze of this place less effective. With the return of her memories, she feels intact. And for the first time in such a long, long time, she can feel the seed of rebellion maturing within. As a result, her willpower grows.
And this time, when she commands her eyes to open, they do.
Yoongi is waiting for her. And she is determined not to make him wait any longer.
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