Issy sat a long time watching the male form in her bed. He was bigger than her... manly, human, real, flawed and surprisingly, very kind.

He was John Lennon.

And they hadn't done it.

It was a wild case of 'I did want him to...', 'thank-you John', "why did you stop?', 'am I that ugly?', 'am I not good enough?' and other crashing thoughts that flashed through her mind in the morning light. But then she breathed, and grabbed hold of the 'thank-you John' and thanked him for not pushing himself onto her, although, she was sure he would have been unfucking- believable.

She smiled to herself. How he ever held back she did not know. Was this a learned stop light from his years of being surrounded by a bevy of attractive women or was it that I'm undesi–

No, don't.

He was wonderful.

He hadn't done a damn thing and that was the sexiest most beautiful thing he could have done.

Issy grinned.

Yes! The sexiest thing anyone had done to her, for her... was nothing!

She held a giggle down and stood quietly, tiptoeing to the door.

Anyway, it would have been a mistake. They were to be in-laws soon; With a son, a daughter, and little grand baby in common.

Grabbing the telephone as it jangled beside her she hoped it hadn't disturbed the sleeping 'hostage' upstairs, hours had now passed since she stole from the bedroom. She was now positioned in the kitchen,  contentedly baking treats and making a big stew for dinner.

"Hello"

"Hi Ma"

"Hello Julian, how are you this morning" Issy popped a choc chip in her mouth letting it melt on her tongue. "I'm baking cookies"

"You sound happy. I hope dad's behaving-"

"I am. It's a lovely day and the birds are chirping out on the railing for a treat" Issy sing-songed down the line "How are my darling girls?" Julian noted Issy's pointed ignoring of his question about his father.

"Good, good. Now down to business"

"Uh oh"

"No, it's nothing major. You're coming down Friday, an appointment at the publisher's, right?"

"Uh huh" Issy agreed, another choc chip passed her lips "11.30"

"Look, dad has a meeting at the studio, I don't think he's remembered; its Thursday at 2" Julian informed her steadily "So my question is .... do we get Miss Issy in the city for one, or two whole nights?! ...Or do I send a driver for Dad?"

"Morning" John wandered in scratching his neck looking and feeling a little uncomfortable about the night before. "Who's dat" he whispered as he pretended to toss a choc chip in the air and catch it in his mouth but he really only just shoved it straight in his mouth.

'Julian' Issy mouthed in reply.

John shook his head 'no' he wasn't talking to him. Issy glared at him; his son, he should talk.

"Ummm I'll bring him down, he's beginning to annoy me anyway"

Oh the look she got!

She grinned as John grabbed her cheeks gently, tipped her chin and began kissing her from beside her lips slowly down the slope of her neck, to 'annoy' her.

"Alright! Just bring yourself this time. Don't bring any groceries! You always bring too much! See you in a couple then"

"Bye sweetie" Issy hung up the phone and John went from unsure and uncomfortable to picking her up and pushing the choc chips and chopping board to one side, and replacing them with Issy. "So" His kisses met her lips over and over. She was immediately breathless, completely swept up in him. He wound his fingers in her long hair, teased her mouth open with a well placed nibble and took some more air from her lungs.

"Soooo" he dropped a peppering line of lip prints along her jaw.

"Sooo... ummm" Issy tried to speak but it was no good.

Crushing, that was all she could think was happening. He was crushing her to him, pressed close and hard. His hips were wedged between her thighs, closer than they had been last night, closer than ever to the door of no return and fully clothed to boot! Well she was, he was in less. John let her up for air "Wow, yes... ummm" He went to lift her shirt and she forgot what she was going to say; leaning back she found the plain flour was now covering both elbows.

"Messy Mermaid" John managed to voice, then a deep groan of annoyance rose at her attire... there was way too much of it.

He was taking more time than she felt necessary to find her breasts.... She ripped her shirt open, unclipping her bra.

A breathless 'Fuck' slipped from her as he kissed a path downwards and over her nipple.

"No"

"No. I meant ..... Yes there, right thereee" Issy burned hot, her breathing turning ragged. John's tongue found her other nipple and swirled slowly, her hips had worked back on the bench so he reconnected them with his, dragging her forward through the now molten choc chips. "Thursssssdayyy"

"What? Stop talking Isabelle" Her nipple was released and the other assaulted. John was meticulous in his attack squeezing gently then running a thumb over the taut bud as she squirmed beneath him. He let himself enjoy her, tipping her back to watch her bend under him in want.

"Studio........ arrr.... Yesss" She enjoyed his lips, moaning in acceptance of his exploration.

And Issy was really trying to ignore all other matters, really she was. But the smell of cookies nigh on burning overtook her desire. She wanted him to continue touching her but needed to save the cookies! "Cookies. Burning. Stop John, stop.... Cookies. Now"

"What? Ohhh, ok" Turning on his heel John removed, racked and covered the cookies quickly, then turned back to stop Issy tugging her shirt back around herself to dismount the bench. "Isabelle, you made me cookies, and scouse stew, is it?!"

"Mmmhmm" Issy grabbed some choc chips and threw them at John, tossing a few in her mouth as she did so.
"Kiss me"

And he did, licking her sweet bottom lip. Sweeping her back into the moment. John wanted to push her now, see how far they could travel before one or the other floundered and dragged them both to a shuddering stop. Issy was making out way more than last night and he responded in equally enjoyable response, her lips found his and he grinned onto them.

He rubbed against her like a horny dog, pushing his ache against her, slipping so near her warmth, pulling her forward by her hips, his body rubbing hers. It wasn't a fair race. She, in jeans and pretty, although now slightly battered, pale peach shirt and him, in flimsy green boxers of her deceased husband.

Johns brain stalled and flipped.

Her late husband.

My late wife...

His mind began pressing him for a complete 360 degree turn around.

No.

No, don't think about all that.

I'm here, with her and her chocolate lips... He rallied and ransacked her skin greedily...

I killed my wife.

It was all my fault and now Isabelle could become the next .....

No, no....... no.

John's mind and body screeched to a grinding halt.

"Sorry" 

Nothing else.

No kisses to bring them down from the close proximity to heaven- nothing.

John up and fled out the back door as Issy gasped for breath amid the chocolate chips, sugar and flour.

An egg rolled and dropped. Splattering and breaking on the floor below.

Wiping hair from her face she looked around with glazed eyes.

It was so beautiful before; now it was just what it looked like- a mess.

Her fingers dug and curled over the edge of the counter top, clutching it as her brain slowly made sense of everything.

She sat there a long time, perched on the bench not fully processing his escape.

She would have let him... She would have loved to have loved him, if only for a little while.

John.