"Isabelle ....pssst Isabelle ...... Issy!" John hovered over the woman, she was sound asleep and no doubt she would scream on waking. He held his breath and shook her "Isabelle!"

"Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgh!! Geezzzzz. What the hell are you doing in my room John!?!" Issy screamed out and tugged the sheets up to her neck from where they had laid pooled at her waist. John sat down beside her, clutching his head "I wasn't that loud"

"Yeah you were, and I have a headache" John winced as he shook his head slowly.

"A head like that should ache" Issy retorted then she saw he was generally ill "Stay there" She put a hand on his arm to still him. She scooted over to sit beside him then slipped out of bed, dashing into the ensuite. Grumbling about the stars in her eyes when she turned the overhead light on, she soon found paracetamol and filled a glass with water "Here, drink this and take these, they are just paracetamol"

"Ta luv" Watching John swallow the pills made her memories rush back to another time. Piles of pills for pain, sleep, infection, bowel movements. Anything, and everything. Issy had to smash them down, paste them then insert in a tube to help him take them in the beginning. Tiresome and draining. Issy saw a ghost of the past.

"Hey what's up with you? You're as white a sheet. Come on, sit down here luv" John patted the bed and pushed his glass onto the bedside table "I'm sorry for waking you"

Issy shook her head it wasn't him or sleep or the few drinks she'd consumed. "It's ok, I'm alright" She stood and held out her hand "Come on, let's walk that migraine away"

"Mister Moonlightttta!!!!!!!!!!"

John was invigorated, splashing Issy as she sat cross legged on the jetty he swam about under the moon, singing and howling and lazing as he lay floating on his back, the migraine had disappeared as soon as the chill water lapped his skin. "Hey, Dizzy Miss Issy! Come in, you were the mermaid yesterday why not again today?"

"I was alone yesterday" Issy ran a hand over Max as he dropped down heavily beside her. She smiled inside, it was nice watching John muck around, uncontained and feeling free, he sang away happily in the inky water.

"Yesterdayyyy........ ummm......

Why Issy.. Will. Not. Swim,

I don't know- she wouldn't say.

I. said.... Come. On. In,

Now I long for her to play A-a-a"

Issy giggled as John mimicked Paul, twisting the beautiful song apart. "Come on in here, please Isabelle. It will be more fun, promise"

Johns face was so joyous and animated, Issy just had to grin back. She was happy he was feeling so alive and free of his pain both, the headache, and in his heart. Even if it was only fleeting she was sure he would remember this nights' swim always. And she would too.

She also felt alive; Included in his joie de vivre moment. Watching him look so young, so carefree, so happy. It was wonderful to see, after hearing of all the troubles, the loss and the way he wasn't coping. This, right now, was brilliant!

Standing, she meandered to the end of the jetty. John watched thinking she was just taking a short stroll on the planks but then...

....then she teetered at the very edge for a mere few seconds before swan diving into the depths.

The heavy weave fabric of her current, much more modest, nightie (the one chosen after last nights debacle) weighed her down and she struggled back to the surface. The weight like lead around her.

Holding tight, leaning against the post on the opposite side of the jetty to John, she dared herself to take her own moment of joie de vivre and, before her thoughts strayed to 'better nots' and 'shouldn't have'...

Issy ripped the fabric up and over her head.

Joie De Vivre!!!!

"Did you just-"

"Yes"

"But-"

Well don't look-"

"But-"

"Just swim looney Lennon"

"My balls are floating over here with all the swelling"

"You're so disgusting"

"But you did it, not me"

"Just don't come close"

"Do you know how long it's been since my last gander at the opposite sex, little miss mermaid?"

"Well you've been here two days so ...arrrrr ..... three days"

"Three years"

"I call bullshit!" Issy laughed.

No way she thought.

"Call it whatever you want, I haven't anything ..... in three years!!"

"They all would have dropped off"

"Nah, I think they were relieved actually, having a good and decent rest after the Beatle Orgy years"

"Really, orgies"

They circled each other until they settled and bobbed-about, about a metre or so apart. The metre narrowing as John pressed his luck on every turn of their bodies.

They laughed and splashed in the silver lined waters as it swirled in their wake. Issy dropped her head back and let the water flood her hair.

The dogs watched on with great interest from the nearby jetty as the two bantered and laughed.

"Sometimes, sometimes not. Lots though, lots and lots, and fucking lots, of fucking. A hell of a lot was purely mechanical sex though. Wham bam thank-you mam sort of stuff" John was squirming about and Issy wasn't sure why at first. Then she found out. A pair of boxers flew through the night air and slapped soaking wet on the very end of the jetty.

"You didn't?"

"I did. Wanna check" He dared with a wickedly devilish grin.

"Pfft .... no" Issy blushed and hoped the moonlight covered the pink heat tracking down to her breasts and up all over her cheeks. "I ummm" John came swiftly closer ....." no ... let go..... John please, let go" He had her pressed flush up against him and it was all he could do not to moan aloud.

All her squirming was not the best way to escape she decided as she looked upon his flustered face, she settled and wrapped her arms around his neck and they continued to bob about quietly.

"This is quite nice" John gushed "Hell but nice" His face broke into a wonderfully cheeky grin as Issy ducked her head and splashed him with her hand. "What happened to you then. You know all about me, all over the news and Julian probably has told you a lot of my tales. But what happened to you Isabelle? Why did you escape here?"

Issy pushed away but he would have none of it. "I brought you here to let you breathe fresh air and have space, not for me to tell my stories" John caught her eye, gazing at her patiently. He could see her face sad and tight but he wasnt taking no for an answer. "No John. There's nothing. Nothing to tell"

"Nothing. No man, loved and lost. No deception. No betrayal. No nothing hey?"

Issy relaxed her hold and let him clutch her to him. Partially because she was interested in his body, the hardness of the male form, but mostly to throw him off track.

What did she mean..... mostly she relaxed the tension in her limbs to feel him. Boy did he feel nice.

"Isabelle" John gripped her hips and held her steady "Isabelle tell me your secrets" She shook her head and lay her head on his shoulder. He was so warm and smooth and slippery wet.

Darkness overcame them as a few stray clouds moved position and passed the moon by. Issy stared up for a long time, her lips sealed shut. Then she wondered- why.

Why such a big secret- it happened. Everything happened. But, after all, she had survived, if only to root herself by a serene lake well away from this, what she had her arms around currently- male company.

"My daddy was a drinker" Issy leaned back and looked off toward the middle of the lake letting the scene calm her but she was biting her lip hard, thinking, contemplating "He hit my mother, me. Just an all-round jerk to us. I wanted to be away from him so badly. I remember when that first boy made eyes at me and gave me attention" Issy shook her head, freeing the memories "I fell of course, stupidly. He was just like him. I had gone out and found a carbon copy of my daddy and married him in a rush of teenage hormones and dreams of happiness.... such a fool I was"

Issy pushed away and lay back in the water floating in the moonlight.

John was another man with the same problem and she could feel a pull toward him. Her body too, screaming for a man's touch. She was lonely. John swam around her now, basically ignoring her it seemed. She sighed, and repositioned, bobbing about again, hands and feet swaying in a swish to keep afloat, an owl hooted from the tree line close by and she continued.

"Pregnant at nineteen. Bashed quite regularly yet covered well in clothes and instructed to smile sweetly at functions and events. The perfect little family we were, everyone said so. 'You're so lucky'- 'he's so handsome', then my mother 'don't whinge its unbecoming' 'think yourself lucky marrying so well'. So, I stayed, a good, dutiful wife does that you know"

Issy felt the heat in her face, her body angry, so mad at herself.

What a bloody fool she was for letting it happen, letting her life pass her by in a whirl of lies, pain and unrecoverable time. Sally was the only good to come of it.

"Isabelle" John pressed back against her, holding her firm "Isabelle, you don't have to say anymore"

"No, I've started now, opened the flood gates and all that... Any-way fast forward to 1980, auto accident caused by his drunk driving about thirteen miles south of here, jaws of life unpinning my lower body, kidney taken from me and quadriplegia for him- very fitting don't you think. Fucking bastard didn't die oh no that would be too easy wouldn't it. I had to feed him, wash him, wipe his arse for three years til he decided he couldn't put up with my face any-"

She pushed away swimming strokes away from the shore. Diving under and screaming her release.

"Isabelle"

"No, No." Her breaths short she sailed back, gliding through the water. The lake would probably not help her like it usually did when it came time for her future nightmares. What release could she find in its place if swimming in the moonlight didn't wash the memories away, she wondered.

"He recorded a suicide note didn't he. When I had a nurse on relieving me one day. He got her to set the tape player up, then she left the room, he topped himself somehow and that was it. He was sick of my face Sick! Of Me! Sick of me tending his EVERY need." Issy was ropable and seething angry. She had never said it so openly before, always kept it hidden from Sally. Her words paining her too as she continued the tirade "Then, if that wasn't enough... Then to top everything off, like icing on a cake! I found out that just before the accident he had bankrupted us down to half a house- this house; and still with a huge mortgage hanging over it!! ARGHHHHH! Ta dahh, the en-"

John kissed her to stop her words flowing and to taste her tears, he pulled her head back gently and kissed her neck and cheeks slowly. Calming her, steadying her tirade.

Lulling a little, she settled almost docile into his arms. Anger dissipating as he held her steady, she let him test her flesh. Her breathing slowed moreso and she finally felt herself unfurl and relax as his lips pressed rhythmically over her skin.

"I'm just kissing Isabelle, alright. I can stop. Should I. We are-...?" John seemed to need to convince himself "I can stop Isabelle" No response and he wasn't too worried. She was pliable and soft and relaxed as he kissed her on the lips again, her eyes following his as he searched her face. "Mermaid woman" he whispered then ducked to her neck and let his lips search for his own answers.

Shivering John relent to the goose-bumps that adorned his skin, and hers. Letting Issy go reluctantly, he followed slowly behind, watching her tiptoe over the sand, to try to escape the grit under her feet. Then she stood on the grass cold but bold. Straight back, eyes front, scanning John and his body's reactions to her gaze.

She was beautiful, not a giggly lightheaded twenty something. No, a grounded sensual, strong woman. He decided it was better not to push his luck, no not now, she was far too emotional for any more connection than his lips upon hers.

The steamy water of the shower warmed them both, sharing the steady flow, John washed her carefully, wanting but not taking.

"John" Issy breathed as he soaped her back.

She felt like putty, lethargic from the emotions she had relieved, and cosseted from the kisses that he showered her in.

"Isabelle please let me do this. Let me look after you" John touched her cheek and kissed her lips once more. Lathering her with soapy bubbles, her slippery skin called his hands to delve and discover. He held back and only ran the cloth innocently but still intimately, over her skin. Water warm rinsed her body as he rinsed his.

"Come on, you can towel me off this time" He grinned warmly, teasing her. But all this, the shower, the touches... were intimate, yet not sexual. A higher tier in the realm of touch.

He tended to her like she was a child needing mollycoodling. He found her baby doll pyjamas of the night before in a pile of clean washing on the high backed chair by the window and dressed her. Why, she didn't know, but looking upon John as he put each of her legs in the bottoms as she sat on the bed she found she enjoyed his ministrations. Issy gamely ran a hand over his hair as he kneeled before her. He paused slightly then kept going about his task. She used two hands and massaged them, smoothing them over his scalp and shoulders.... Wanting him.

Oh geez.

Issy closed her eyes, she was wanting him to touch her more than this, more than she dared want ever again.

Crawling up beside her as she sat on the bed John resumed his kisses over her cheeks and lips, her neck. Dragging her to him, cuddling her body he pulled the sheets and blanket around them both, his warmth filtering into her skin as they lay face to face, nose to nose.

Issy closed her eyes just enjoying the presence of another body beside her. So long it had been just her; The bed was probably mis-shapen, her side the only one holding a dip.

John watched her grin with eyes shut and felt himself happy too. Yes, that's it, just happy. And content. Even, he thought, he felt safe.

It had been a long time between feeling these feelings, wanting this closness...

Drinking in a woman's touch and, although she wasn't touching him as such, her body drift beside his like a harmony of skin.

Oh yes, he could rush and take and plunder and fuck but would it amount to anything real, or right, or even, stable. And back he rushed to that word again- safe.

Not safe like boredom or tedium but safe bound by arms that wanted you, heart holding yours in sync and eyes lighting up even if it is only to say good morning, safe.

They drift to sleep in each other arms, comforted, warm, wanted and yes, safe.