He was as slow as a bloody snail, like hours slow. Surely a man doesn't usually take so long washing short hair and shaving stubble.

Her man had been a zipper, in-out, fifteen minutes tops then off to the pub or work or work then the pub. He had worn that aftershave she now used as lighter fluid, it was nearly gone, she cursed the stench.

Issy retreated upstairs having made toast, watched it cool, then tossed it in the compost bin. She left everything on the counter for the slow moving insect man. Max sat at the bathroom door, the damn traitor.

"Where are you? You said I would have tea and toast"

"Make your own"

"Well that's a bit bloody rude"

"Do you know how to use the toaster?" Issy grinned she couldn't help it. She had fled through two pages of typing and was on the third when his booming voice made her jump and hit a 'f' instead of 'd' now she had a rude word staring at her from the page instead of a cute bird that swam on the lake.

Bugger.

Better go and save my kitchen she thought as she stretched her limbs, the gas stove was a bit tricky and getting the burner on the left going was a talent unto itself.

Reaching the landing she rubbed her eyes, she really should have slept instead of pursuing an end to the story she was writing.

And now ...

And now, he would be jumping up and down to be taken back to NY.

He dropped the phone back in the cradle and smiled guiltily.

"Was going to call a cab but haven't an addy"

"I'll take you back" Issy reached for the kettle to reheat the water. "I, ummm. I'm sorry"

"What for? Stealing me?"

"I didn't steal you"

"You did"

"No ... you got in the jeep of your own will; well I opened the door and pushed a bit but .... own free will" Issy scooped a large serve of coffee in her mug and added sugar, dropping a teabag in for the guest in the other mug; he lifted a lip in scorn. "What's wrong now?"

"Apart from being kidnapped? - That bloody teabag"

"Yes- tea in a bag"

"Yuck"

"Oh sorry, I forgot to put tea leaves on my shopping list with the masking tape, ties and rope" Issy tried to smother the pull of a grin as she filled the mugs.

The telephone rang, jangling, between them. Issy staring at it like a deer caught in headlights, not answering.

He didn't pick up either; it wasn't his phone, now was it.

The awful 'I'm not home right now' message played as the answering machine picked up the call instead.

'Hi- the dogs, cats and I aren't home right now, please leave your demands and I'll think about calling you back later ' beeeeeeppp

"Nice" John muttered quietly as they listened together for the caller to speak.

"Mum, it's Sally. Pickup, I know you're home, Jules rang earlier .. You're not out hiking again surely. You better have that phone with you" Issy shook her head no in jest "Mum...arrr you saw John to the door of the Dakota last night, right? ---beeeep....................

"Righteo, now Sally is worrying for me. Having me babysat to my door now, by her Mum" John raised an eyebrow and Issy shrugged, John seemed to remember the shrug in the murky depths of the night before.

The phone trilled. And again neither answered. The answering machine message seemed longer than last time, perhaps a trick of the mind .....

'Hi- the dogs, cats and I aren't home right now, please leave your demands and I'll think about calling you back later' beeeppp....................

"Mum, me again. Ummm just, we .... I'm not sure really, cause Harold at the Dakota said John never came home ... Well mum, I ummm.... you didn't borrow John, did you?"

...... beeeep....

" 'Borrow' how does Sally think someone borrows someone??? Do you do this often..Do you go to places and act like you're going to borrow a cup of sugar but instead, take the six foot four muscular man home, instead?!"

"You are not six four nor muscly" Issy scoffed making John grumble and swig a gulp of his horrid teabag tea.

Issy guessed Sally was calling back a third time when the phone sprang to life once more, and still Issy and John had a standoff, neither answered.

The answering machine message this time round seemed like the longest minute in eternity, way longer than ever before. John rolled his eyes throughout "Issy, it's Jules. Dads gone AWOL. He could be just at a bar somewhere, or behind bars I guess.. But the guards at the Dakota are talking kidnapping! We're calling the poli-"

The telephone was scooped up instantly.

"Julian!!" Issy panicked and grasped the phone to her ear hurriedly "Hi, um yes ummm I sort of, forgot to... drop him off.... No, I didn't dump him in the lake - yet..... No I won't, you can but I'm not ....... I'll bring him back I promise-" Issy glanced up at John "Oh don't want him back? Yes well, I understand. But I can't have him here. He's upset I don't have tea leaves of all things ........ Alright see you soon, bye love"

Issy hung up the phone and John just stared at her for a minute or more before sighing loudly.

"Well it's a bit depressing him thinking I'm in a bar or jail somewhere and doesn't want me back" John walked out the back door and sat on one of the Adirondack chairs that were scattered across the deck. His tea was still being slurped so it mustn't have been all that bad.

Picking up the plate of toast Issy followed, the dogs flopped at their feet and she tossed them both a piece of crust each.

"Isabelle" John recalled her name, rubbing his eyes in the dappled sunlight. He stood again and walked over to lean on the railing, gazing out over the still waters of the lake. Tapping pockets he found and lit a slightly crumpled cigarette as Issy placed the plate down on the table between them, a puff of smoke left his lungs "I hate that nick name- Issy, Julian says it when he mentions you and I can't stand it. It's like you're a bloody mosquito or gnat or something" John turned and walked back to the small outdoor table "I dare say you're probably annoying like a mosquito but I much prefer Isabelle myself"

"Well thanks a lot. Anyway, we already determined that revelation on the bathroom floor last night"

"Oh, so we've had a bit of roll about in the hay then, hadn't guessed that much"

"Yeah- right. NOooo. Ewwwww"

"Well if not the floor, what about the toilet stall wall. Back pressed firm against the wall, pinn-" He was grinning broadly as Issy squirmed. She held herself firm though, lifting her chin to his games.

"You're disgusting, you are"

"You said ..."

"I said ... bathroom floor because I sat at your feet as you made love to the toilet bowl, vomit all over the place and tears flowing"

I wasn't fucking crying"

"Ummm yes"

"What about" John's eyes burned into her own, daring her to utter lies, but she wouldn't.

"Your memories of your mum I believe. Nothing at all wrong with that except the fact you were tanked and vomit covered. Not to mention the toilet lid slammed down on your head"

John rubbed the back of his head. He did have a bump come to think of it.

"I wouldn't just cry over me mum, that was fucking eons ago. You're lying"

"I don't lie"

"No?! Ok, no lying. Only kidnapping. And having your way with slightly inebriated Beatles"

"Why would I have had my way with a semi-conscious, rather comatosed, bloke, when Mark the gorgeous producer was there earlier in the evening, making eyes at me, and completely sober"

"Cause, my luv, I am a Beatle"

"Ex Beatle and a drunkard at that. You know that my Sally had me drive down there to that overgrown zoo to help support Julian because he was so worried about you. Does that make a blind bit of difference to you?"

"No, he's too soft"

"He's your son and just because Sean is away at boarding school you seem to think you can sleep in any old alley or dumpster. Do you really want to keep doing that?" Issy rose up and paced the deck "I lost someone too, I didn't lose them instantly but had to watch him leave like a snail. Slow and tortured and reliant on me for everything, everything! Breathing for Christ sake. I had to wipe his arse and wash and shave and extubate and re- intubate him. Talk for him. Walk for him. Slave for h-"

"But you didn't pull the trigger"

"Neither did you" Issy paused in her rampage up and down the deck; she had guessed this was his crux, what had turned him into what he had become: broken and sad.

"Yes, I did. If I wasn't in that band and singing what I had sung, saying what I had said, she wouldn't be gone and I wouldn't be drunk all the time"

Sitting down taking Johns hand, he flinched and pulled away, Issy didn't back off though and took his other hand in hers, holding firm "That man was warped, if it hadn't been you he had sights on, it would have been someone else. I'm sorry she died, truly I am but you didn't and that is a miracle from what I've been told. You have people that love y-"

"Fuck off, why do you even care? You're a fucking kidnapper" John stood abruptly and walked into the house.

Issy stared after him for minutes until she couldnt bear the noises in her head, screaming at her own silly ways.

She was nothing to him.

"Phones there, address is up above it on the calendar. Your ride should be here in around 5 hours if coming from New York" Issy pushed past him blindly. His hurt had suddenly become hers and she wasn't sure exactly why. "911 for the police"

"Isabelle ..." John voice followed her as she fled up the stairs to her room, the door slamming, blinds drawn and curtains flung closed.

Sleep, she needed sleep.

Of course he didn't need her, no one really did. Sally was a mum herself now with a beautiful baby to boot; And a boy that loved her and wanted to marry her.

The past twenty fours caught up to Isabelle, overtaking her as she curled up on the bed in her pyjamas, listening to Ben scratch on the door. He finally gave up and flopped down and waited patiently for his mistress outside the closed door.

Eyes heavy, she glared at the ceiling, why so stupid to think that she could help anyone.

She was as broken as him in a way. Hiding herself away in the backwaters of a far-flung lake, blaming herself for her daughter's fathers demise.

She made him change into a monster- he said so.

Said she made him mad.

And she made him drink.

She must have made her own father hate her too. He drank too. And he made her cry...

Isabelle wept... then finally, with eyes burning, lungs settling somewhat, she slept.

Thanks for reading :)