"There he is!" Richie smiles and sings to the tune of the Miss America theme as Eddie walks slowly into the lobby of his physical therapy place. "My baby is walking all by himself." He pretends to wipe a tear away.

"Shut up, asshole." Eddie says, but Richie can hear the unmistakable fondness behind the words. He's happy about it, too.

"I still suggest using a walker or wheelchair for any distances over half a mile," his therapist follows behind him. "But short distances are fine. We've made a lot of progress these past two months. I still recommend coming back every other week, just to monitor your progress and ensure that nothing is going wrong, though."

"Yeah, well every other week is much better than three times a week." Eddie sighs, happily.

"So, uh," Richie hesitates for just a second. "Is he like, cleared for sex?"

"Richie!" Eddie exclaims in embarrassment. "Are you fucking kidding me?" His cheeks heat up. "I am so sorry."

She laughs and looks at Eddie. "Whenever you're ready, as long as you take it easy. Are you married?"

"Getting a divorce." Eddie says, glaring at Richie. "That's why my nosy best friend  picks me up every time."

"I still can't believe you're best friends with Richie Tozier. I was starstruck the first time you came into the office." She looks shy. "Um, would you mind if we took a picture?"

"Nope." Richie says as she hurriedly hands Eddie her phone. "See Eds? Someone appreciates your 'nosy best friend.'"

"Don't call me that." Eddie rolls his eyes, but takes the picture.

"Thank you!" His therapist grins. "See you in a couple weeks, Eddie." She waves good-bye as Richie helps Eddie out to the car.

"So I'm back to being your best friend?" Richie pretends to be bummed out.

"You're back to being a dumbass." Eddie shakes his head, leaning on him a little more than what's necessary. "You're not out yet. We can't have some random ass physical therapist spreading 'Richie Tozier is gay' rumours."

"So what?" Richie shrugs, even though the idea is enough to make his stomach hurt. But he's trying to be better.

Eddie finally kisses him once they get home. That still hasn't stopped taking Richie by surprise. He knows that soon enough it will be normal and he is both sad and excited for that day. He's never been with anyone long enough to have a normal.

Except Eddie, he thinks as he watches him make a beeline for the kitchen, griping about how hungry he is.

He supposes that this is his new normal. Since Eddie's been able to stand on his own, he has taken liberty of cooking the two of them dinner every night. It's so much better than takeout. Richie gets home from work to find a hot plate of food waiting for him. He almost cried the first time.

It's only been two months since they kissed that first night, and things have been relatively slow between them, but Richie has never been happier.

They sleep next to each other every night and kiss pretty frequently and there's occasional over-the-clothes frottage. And then there's all the domestic stuff. Watching movies and going grocery shopping and eating dinner together. Richie was only joking at the physical therapy place to get a rise out of Eddie.

He's not sure if he's ready for sex, yet. He would like to be, and he's not going to pretend like Eddie hasn't been the center of all his fantasies lately, but it's just so nice right now. He'd hate to sleep with Eddie and then have him find out that he doesn't actually like men the way he thought he did.

He's just scaring himself.

He hopes.

"Do you have any requests for dinner?" Eddie asks, from the kitchen.

"Spaghetti?"

"I'm thinking grilled cheese." He says, ignoring Richie.

"Do you want any help?" Richie asks, but Eddie hums no, just like he knew he would. Lately, Eddie's been struggling with feeling sort of useless. He obviously had to quit his job to live with Richie, and had been having a hard time getting hired somewhere in L.A. His last interview was three days ago, and they told him that he'd hear something soon.

Honestly, Eddie hasn't been freaking out too much, to Richie's surprise. He just cooks a lot. And cleans a lot too. Richie's amazed that someone can find relaxation in either of those tasks.

He spends the next fifteen minutes that it takes Eddie to cook scrolling through twitter. He's pretty irrelevant right now. There's occasionally a few memes or some fans asking when he's gonna come back, but otherwise nothing. There was a lot of speculation as to why he had a nervous breakdown. The last thing he tweeted was two months ago.

I'm fine everyone. Just need a break. Sorry to cause stress of any kind.

It's not like he's pulled a Taylor Swift and gone completely into hiding or anything, he's just been kind of low key. His manager is all up his ass about setting a date for his comeback special, but he doesn't feel like it yet.

He kind of enjoys the quiet life. Eventually he's going to have to start earning money again. Luckily, he's convinced that coming out as gay is pretty much a sure-fire way to be trending again. He's just gotta work up the courage to do that.

Eddie carefully sits next to him on the couch, wincing only a little because of his chest, and hands him a plate. His pain has almost subsided completely, except for days he has physical therapy. "Thank you." Richie says, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and kissing him on the side of his head.

Eddie smiles and looks down, his own way of saying "Don't mention it."

They usually eat like this on the couch every night. Eddie always sits way too close and Richie adores it. They're arguing over what tv show to watch as they eat when both of their phones begin ringing.

Richie knows it's the losers before even looking. "Oh, shoot." He sets his plate on the end table. "I'll go into our room."

Eddie holds his arm in place. "It's fine. Just answer on your phone and we'll talk to them together."

"I, uh, are you sure?"

"Yes, now answer the fucking phone before we miss the call." Eddie reaches over and hits the green button. The other four losers' faces fill the screen, all ecstatic that everyone has answered. They haven't seen each other in person since Eddie was in the hospital and have only been able to successfully all be on facetime together twice.

"Hi Richie! Hi Eddie!" Bev's pretty face fills the screen as she talks.

"Hey guys, to what do we owe this lovely phone call to?" Richie asks, not being able to stop himself from grinning.

"I have to go to Los Angeles for work!" Bill states, excitedly, no trace of his stutter that he had in Derry.

Eddie grabs the phone from Richie. "Oh shit, are you gonna visit?"

"Better," Bev smiles. "We all  want to visit. We're kinda hoping to use your guys' place as a hang out spot."

Richie shrugs. "Better here than a Chinese place." They all laugh and nod in agreement. "When are you coming in?"

"Supposed to be Monday, but if you and Eds don't have plans then I'll come in early, like on Friday or something."

"That soon?" Richie asks, anxious all of the sudden. "All of you can get here that soon?"

"I haven't visited California yet." Mike smiles.

"We're able to take a weekend off." Ben says, making his first comment of the call.

"That sounds like a lot of fun." Eddie grins.

"Yeah, we can't wait to hear about how hard it is living with Richie." Beverly laughs.

"Not bad at all."
"Really?"

"He hates it," Richie interjects, snatching the phone from Eddie. "Can you imagine having to deal with me literally 24/7? Eddie really should've taken Bill's offer." He's on the cusp of rambling. "Anyway, yeah, Friday should be good. We can all hang out here."

If the rest of the Losers notice him being weird, they don't say anything. They all talk about possible plans and what to order for dinner on the days they are together. Eventually, they all bid each other goodnight, as it's much later for Ben, Beverly, and Bill in New York than it is for Mike, Eddie, and Richie who are all in earlier time zones.

"Only like three days, Eds." Richie smiles and tosses his phone aside.

"What the fuck, man?" Eddie scowls, ignoring his comment. "Why did you act like I hate living with you?"

"I was just joking." Richie says, knowing Eddie can see right through it. Eddie can see through most lies Richie tells. He's not sure why he still lies at all.

"Bullshit."

"Yeah." Richie agrees. "I just...don't want them suspicious of us or anything."

"You don't want them to know that we're together?" Eddie furrows his brows in confusion. "I don't understand. Don't you think they'd be happy for us?"

Yes.  Richie wants to say. Of course they would be happy. Of course he wants to tell them, in theory. But he can't. Not yet.

"I'm just...not ready yet, Eds."

Eddie looks confused. "They know that you're gay, right?"

"Yeah, but it's different. I don't want to tell them yet. Please, Eds."

"Don't call me that." He looks away, appearing to be lost in thought. "I won't tell them, obviously, if you don't want to. But I just feel like they're going to notice."

Eddie's probably right. Richie knows this. They sleep in the same bed, for fuck's sake, and that's not really something that he wants to give up if the Losers come to town.

They didn't mention sleeping arrangements of any kind, but he figures that at least one of them has to be planning on staying in their apartment.

Richie supposes that it wouldn't kill him to sleep apart from Eddie for a couple nights. He can deal with the nightmares.

Probably.

He's just gotta soak up all the time they get until them. "Come on," He says, pulling Eddie close to him again. "You wanna watch your doctor show?"

Eddie eyes him, quizzically, before letting it go and cuddling up against Richie's side.

"What are you working on?" Eddie asks the next morning as they both sit at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and messing around on their computers.

"Writing." Richie answers, typing away.

"Your next show?"

"Yep."

Eddie smiles at him, happy that Richie's finally writing his own material. "When are you gonna let me read what you've got so far? You've been working on it for like a month."

"Um..." He pauses, heart fluttering when he looks up and sees Eddie's sickly sweet expression. "Soon. Real soon." Richie says, even though he's not even sure the bit is going anywhere. He's not sure his career is going anywhere. He's not sure about a lot of things.

"What's it about?"
"You know, boring comedy junk that you don't think is funny." Richie messes with his hair and shuts his laptop.

"I didn't think that your old, 'I'm a straight guy who cheats on my girlfriend,' shit was funny, but if  you  write it-"
"Eddie Spaghetti Kaspbrak," Richie gasps and puts a hand on his heart. "Are you admitting that I'm funny?"

"I was going to say it doesn't suck as much if you write it." Eddie rolls his eyes and shuts his laptop, too. "But, sure, you're funny, Rich." He stands up and places a kiss on top of Richie's head before walking his mug to the sink to immediately wash it. "Listen, I was thinking about the whole, 'not telling our friends about us,' thing."

Richie sucks in air through his teeth. "What about it?"

"I don't know, I guess I just don't get it. They know that you're gay, and they know that you like me...I guess I just don't understand why they aren't allowed to know that we're together."

"Um..." Richie doesn't know how to answer. He can't think of a good reason except for the truth and he doesn't want to tell Eddie the truth.

"What's up with you, Richie?" Eddie leans against the counter and crosses his arms. "Are you like, embarrassed or something? Embarrassed to be with me?"

"No! No, no, no, Eds. I'd scream it from the rooftops that I'm with you if I could." Richie stands and makes his way over to Eddie, resting his hands on his hips and giving a light kiss.

Eddie barely reciprocates. "You can  do that, Richie. You just don't." He shakes his head and shuffles out of Richie's grasp. "And I don't need you to shout it from the rooftops. I just want to tell our friends."

"We can't because what if–" Richie cuts himself off, abruptly. He almost let it slip. He almost said too much. 

"What if what, Rich? Fuck, it's not fair to keep me in the dark about this." Eddie's getting angry, and Richie knows it's not in a playful, 'Richie's poked the bear until the claws came out,' kind of way. More like a, 'holy shit we're having our first real fight as a couple,' kind of way.

"You're not in the dark about anything, Eds,"

"Can you maybe not fucking call me that right now?" Eddie snaps and Richie shuts up. "You're keeping something from me. I don't know if you're embarrassed of me or if you're second guessing our relationship or what, but not knowing is pissing me off."

"Eddie, no, it's not like that." Richie takes a step forward, trying to follow him as he walks off.

"I know I'm walking really slowly, but I just want to be alone right now." Eddie says, like it's all a big joke, and walks into the guest bedroom, shutting the door and locking it.

Richie feels tears well up in his eyes. He didn't mean to start a fight. It's okay. It's okay...Eddie will cool off, he always does. Then Richie can apologize and kiss him and they can go to sleep and plan meals to cook for the Losers and everything is going to be okay.

Except Eddie ends up avoiding him all day and opts to sleep in the guest bedroom instead of the room that they've been sharing for the past two months. Richie has trouble falling asleep that night.

He tosses and turns for hours before drifting off, only to be woken up with a gasp an hour and a half later. His mind is plagued with the image of Eddie being impaled, except this time Pennywise throws him against the wall and the Losers leave him down there.

He wants to go check on Eddie, just to make sure he's still alive and in one piece. He almost does, but decides that it's better to just give Eddie his space. He lays back down, but doesn't fall back asleep. Instead, he just scrolls through twitter and instagram, waiting on the rest of L.A. to wake up with him.

Richie finally gets out of bed around six a.m., deeming it a socially acceptable time. He showers and brushes his teeth, deciding that he's going to make Eddie breakfast. Breakfast and an apology.

He cooks two over medium eggs and lays them on top of toast with a little bit of blackberry jam. Not Eddie's all-time favorite, but he knows he likes it well enough. Richie's kind of a shitty cook, so he's limited to what he knows he won't screw up. Eddie wanders into the kitchen right as Richie's finishing up, looking surprised.

"You're up early."

"Yeah, I just wanted to try to do something for you." He's not going to tell Eddie about his nightmare. He doesn't want to make Eddie feel guilty for needing alone time. Richie holds out the finished plate of food with one hand and makes a jazz hand with his other.

Eddie takes it, apprehensively. "You cooked?"

"I survived without you for a long time..." He almost says 'Eds.'

"Well, thank you. This is really nice, Rich." He sits down at the table.

Richie sits down as well. "I also wanted to apologize." He feels sick with anxiety. "I didn't mean to start something. I'm just...scared."

"Aren't you always the one telling me that I'm braver than I think?" Eddie teases.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a hypocrite." Richie shakes his head. "I'd still prefer it if we didn't tell them, though."
Eddie frowns. "Richie, I really don't think it's healthy to hide our relationship. We've got no reason to. We know that they would support us, and we know they would never tell anybody."

"I know that they would! It's just complicated. I..." He wants to say it so badly. He just sighs. "I was gonna go grocery shopping soon, to get snacks and food for everyone. Do you want to come?"

Please. Please. Please. 

Eddie looks at him, thinking hard. "No," he finally says. "We wouldn't want anybody thinking we're together." He goes back to eating.

Richie is crushed. Eddie almost never turns down a grocery shopping trip since he and Richie don't have the same taste when it comes to food. "Eddie, it's not like that." he says, quietly.

Eddie just shrugs. "It's fine, Richie. I shouldn't pressure you to be out if you're not ready." He stands up and gives Richie a peck on the cheek. "Thank you for breakfast." But he doesn't really say a whole lot after that.

Richie tries his best not to be annoying the rest of the day, but he can't help asking Eddie if he's okay over and over again. Each time, Eddie just nods and offers a small smile that Richie can tell doesn't meet his eyes.

It's awkward all day and Richie can't stand it. He feels more and more anxious as the night wears on, wondering if Eddie will disappear back to the guest bedroom. He knows that he's tired. They're sitting on the couch together, not super close like normal, and Eddie keeps yawning.

Richie can't stand it anymore. "Um, Eds?"

Eddie shoots him a look for the nickname. "Yeah?"

"Are you...are you going to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight?" He hates how stupid he sounds. Like a desperate little kid. "You can if you want, I was just wondering. There's no pressure."

Eddie sighs and puts his laptop down. "No, I'm sorry I slept in there last night. I was upset. But I still shouldn't have done that." He gives a half smile. "I used to do that a lot, with Myra. I shouldn't do it to you."
"No, it's okay you don't have to feel bad."

"It's not okay, I really am sorry. I will do my best to not do that again. I just...I hate when you keep things from me, Richie. You're not subtle and I know you pretty fucking well."

Richie doesn't lie this time. He just stays silent.

"Will you please tell me what's going on?"

His stomach feels like it's about to fall out of his ass. He's scared and he doesn't want to do this and–

"Okay." Richie surprises himself by saying.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He treads on, worried and anxious, reminding himself to be brave. "Eddie, I...I'm scared you'll change your mind." He finally admits.

Eddie stares at him, confused. "About you?"

"Yeah, I mean, once we tell people, we're, like, actually official. Like, people are gonna know you're into dick and more specifically  my  dick and I just feel like that's a really big commitment that you might change your mind about. Or worse, you'll want  to change your mind but feel like you can't because all of our friends know or all of twitter and my fans know. Like, maybe right now the idea seems okay because it's private and it's just you and me, but once we drag everyone else into it you're going to be mortified being stuck with me." He's nearly out of breath as he finishes his tangent.

Eddie looks...really fucking sad. "Richie," he scoots closer to the other man and wraps his arms around him. "Come on, that would never happen." He pulls away, leaving his hands on Richie's waist. "You do realize that I literally got a whole ass divorce for you, right? Like I ended my marriage after a lot of unhappy years because I remembered my childhood best friend and knew that nothing could ever compare. I know that it's not completely final yet, but trust me I am in touch with my lawyer every single day trying to end it as fast as possible so that I can hopefully marry you one day."

Richie lets out a breathy laugh and rubs his eyes under his glasses. "Marry me?"

"Yeah, asshole, marry you. I'm in it for the long haul. I want to live with you forever and grow old and do all that cute shit that we never got to do as teens." He leans in and places a soft kiss on Richie's lips. "I love you, Richie. Nothing is going to make me change my mind, okay? You can tell whoever you want, I am still going to be by your side after you do."

Richie could cry. He's been so afraid for no reason. He should have known better than to try and hide his feelings from Eddie. When he's sad, Eddie is the only person that knows how to cheer him up.

Eddie lays down with his head on Richie's lap and his arms around his waist, giving light kisses to his stomach through his shirt. "I love you." he mumbles.

"Fuck, Eddie, I love you so much," They're quiet for a bit afterwards.

Richie's lost in thought. He feels so silly to have been afraid that Eddie would change his mind. He looks down and notices that Eddie has dozed off.

Richie grabs his phone and takes a picture.

With a deep breath, he posts it to twitter, taking time to write his caption:

I love men. I mean man. This man, specifically. 

He quickly adds a follow up tweet:

I'm gay. 

Richie turns his phone off and has to restrain himself from throwing it across the room. He gently sets it down on the end table and goes back to looking at Eddie. He knows when he eventually turns his phone back on he's going to have a huge storm to confront. But right now he's perfectly fine with living with Eddie in the moment.