And as it turns out, he does end up forgetting Eddie Kaspbrak.

Richie gets the fuck out of Derry the moment that he graduates high school, and after that he just...forgets. About Eddie; About the Losers; About the bullying. Sometime during the middle of his eleventh grade year, word got out that Richie "I fucked your mom" Tozier actually should be making "I fucked your dad" jokes, and life was actual living Hell.

So he left and somehow his problems didn't follow him. Nothing followed him, actually. So things were okay.

Not great, though. The stand-up business isn't exactly queer friendly. Especially when Richie first started out. And once he finally got his big break, his manager didn't really trust him enough to write his own material, so he was left to make the same dumb ass 'I hate my girlfriend' jokes that every other male comedian makes.

But whatever. The fans ate it up and he was so rich he could probably retire now, and he was only forty. He had a nice apartment in a big city and he had a bunch of people that wanted to be his friend. Not that were his friend, though.

Mike's phone call makes him want to kill himself in a way he hasn't experienced since he was in high school. Somehow he managed to get so far away from Derry that he forgot he was ever suicidal. But he remembers now. He remembers constantly getting beat up and called slurs and, even though he wishes that he could still suppress, a young boy with doe eyes and a fanny pack breaking his heart.

He doesn't want to go back. Not even a little bit. But for some reason there's a tug in his hand right under the scar that has mysteriously reappeared and it hurts so bad and doesn't stop hurting until his ass is back in Derry, Maine.

Any emotion he's experienced so far, however, is nothing compared to the absolute punch in the gut he feels when seeing Eddie in that Chinese restaurant for the first time in 22 years. He hates that the first thing that he notices about him is the wedding ring on his left hand.

That makes him want to throw up all over again. He just tries to get over it and laugh and make the others laugh. The others either don't remember or just choose to not bring up the fact that most everyone believed him to be gay in high school. He's happy about that.

But he's pretty sure that if he remembers nights spent with Eddie's lips against his own, then the other male probably does too. He hates how happy it makes him when Eddie looks genuinely upset at the thought of Richie getting married.

He waits eagerly the entire dinner for Stan to show up, but of course he never does. Richie wants to cry at the news, but he must just be too shocked to. Their whole childhoods, it was never Stan that was the at-risk one. It was always Stan racing to Richie's house to make sure he didn't do something stupid or letting him use his shoulder to cry on or assuring him that as far as everyone in the Loser's club knew, it was all just rumors. Stan wasn't supposed to be the one to do this.

Ironically, his death gives Richie a sense of purpose. He'll fight. For Stan and for his younger self. And fight they do. They all split up into pairs as they tackle the house from Hell, and naturally Richie and Eddie are together. That's how it was when they were kids.

It's actually nice, in a weird way. They kind of fall into the rhythm of their thirteen year old selves. They joke and bicker and Eddie saves Richie's lives and vice versa. Somehow the six of them manage to defeat It once and for all and they all make it out of the underground lair with only minor injuries.

Ben and Bev kiss underwater at the quarry, and Richie can't help but watch in envy. Just like when they were kids, his eyes automatically flick around to see what Eddie is doing. To his surprise, he watches him take his wedding band off and chuck it as far away as he can. It lands with a soft splash before sinking to the bottom, presumably for forever.

"What was that?" Richie asks, though he already knows.

"My wedding band." Eddie says. He turns to face him. "Richie, I..." The words are on the tip of his tongue, and Richie knows it. But he almost doesn't want him to say it. Things are too complicated. They're both forty and Eddie has been married to a woman for fifteen years and jeez they are both still boys. 

He doesn't get to finish his sentence before Bill splashes them and insists that they should all go get clean 'for real.' Eddie begins his rant on how disgusting it is to clean themselves off in dirty water as they all wade to the bank.

Richie finds himself wishing for the millionth time since being home for Stanley's presence.

They all go back to the inn to shower and begin the rest of their lives. Mike asks if anybody wants to go out to eat, seeing as none of them have had a proper meal since the Chinese place. Everyone agrees but Richie, who opts to just stay in his room instead.

For some reason, he feels worse now than he did before they killed the clown. Maybe it's because the clown never really scared him. The thought of dying has never been scary. What scared him as a child is what the clown threatened to do.

I know your secret, your dirty little secret. 

He's tired of living a lie. He doesn't want to be known as that dickhead comedian that cheats on his girlfriend and is obsessed with women. He doesn't want to have to keep dating beards while sleeping with men he forced to sign NDA's. He doesn't want to be ashamed of who he is any longer.

But it's all just so much easier said than done, and he can't even force himself to go out with the Losers and be his true self around them, so what luck does he have with the rest of the world?

He feels fifteen again, hiding under the covers to protect himself from the night.

There's a knock on the door around midnight and Richie knows it's Eddie before he opens the door. It's the same quiet, unsure knock that he did when they were kids.

Still, he self consciously runs a hand through his messy hair after opening the door. "Hey, Eds, what's up?" He waits for the other male to chastise him for the nickname, but he doesn't. That makes him feel the same type of sick he did back when he would try his best to annoy Eddie just to get a reaction to prove he cared.

"You didn't come to dinner with us." Eddie says, ignoring the greeting altogether.

Richie moves out of the doorway as Eddie walks in, uninvited. "I didn't."

"Why the fuck not?"

Richie shrugs. "Just wasn't feeling up to it."

Eddie stares at him, arms crossed. "Tell me the real reason."

"That is the real reason."

"Bullshit."

Richie exhales, angry. "What makes you think you deserve the real answer, huh Eddie?"

Eddie frowns, but doesn't reply, so Richie keeps talking.

"I assume you know it already, don't you? I spent twenty-five years both knowingly and unknowingly trying to get over you and I come back here and get one fucking glimpse of you and it's like I'm back in your room in the dark getting told you love me but not enough to be with me." His stomach hurts, thinking of the memory. He can see it so clearly, for the first time since he left Derry. He remembers why it hurts so bad to like boys.

"I was fifteen, Rich. I was stupid. I was scared." Eddie says, voice just above a whisper.

Richie sits down on the edge of the bed. "I know." He says. "I'm not mad at you."

Eddie sits down next to him, almost cautiously. "My mom found out about me."

Richie glances at him. "What?"

"Not about us, specifically. I mean, I'm sure she guessed, but somehow she knew I was gay."

Richie's heart begins racing at the word. "You're gay?" he asks.

Eddie laughs, but it's a dry one. "Yeah, all our nights together as teens didn't give that away?"

"You broke up with me." Richie points out. "And you married a woman."

"I married my mom." he retorts, shaking his head. "Anyway, I don't know how my mom knew, but she did. She never said it explicitly, like maybe she thought that saying it outloud would make it too real. But she made me meet with the priest, and she made me watch the news about the AIDS crisis and, fuck Richie, I was just so scared. And then the way you were treated in high school, I couldn't do it. No matter how badly I loved you and wanted you. I was too scared."

Richie is too stunned to speak. He honestly didn't expect to unpack all of their childhood trauma at all, much less right now.

Eddie continues. "I've been living a lie my entire life. I've always been the worst of us all. With Bowers, with It, with being fucking gay." He laughs. "I'm sorry Richie. I don't really know what I wanted out of this conversation, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. And..." he averts his gaze to the ground, picking at a stray piece of fabric that's ripped up from the seam of the comforter. "And after seeing you now, I know that I still love you. And if you gave me a chance," he pushes his hand towards Richie's so that their pinkies touch. Richie feels like his hand is on fire. "I would love you right this time. Like the way you knew how to love me back then. I've been wondering ever since we got back how you knew how to love me that hard when we were so young."

Richie's voice is hoarse when he speaks, because he's on the verge of tears. "I'm afraid I don't know how to anymore."

Eddie turns to face him better and rests a hand on his knee. "That doesn't matter. I'm an adult now, Rich. I will push through the hard times and I will make you so happy you won't even know you ever weren't. Just say the word, and I swear I will. Richie, I...Do you still love me?"

Richie doesn't even hesitate. "I do."

Eddie pulls him in and kisses him the way Richie always wished he would have when they were kids.