⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺
Someday, I hope my courage catches up with my heart.
. ✦ .

Areum

“Do you think I should do it?” I ask Min-Ji for probably the fifteenth time in the past ten minutes.

I stare in contemplation at the phone in my hand as my thumb hovers over the screen that displays Jungkook’s phone number. Everything that happened today seems too good to be true, and I have no idea why Hoseok passed on his phone number to me, but all he said was, “talk to him.’’

What do I talk to him about? Is this about today’s game? I mean, I didn’t willingly violate any rules, and I didn’t even make a fuss when the rule of no kissing was breached for just a fraction of a second when his lips touched mine. Barely.

My body shudders in excitement when I think about that little moment where my heart literally ceased functioning; a shiver of ecstasy rippling through my spine.

I was so excited about playing the game with him, and it was almost like a dream to have him that close to me. It would be an outright lie if I said that I didn’t feel my blood heating up and making my limbs tremble when his hot breath hit my lips.

Jeon Jungkook.

A heavy sigh falls from my lips, and my shoulders slouch as the desperate longing to experience that moment over and over again starts to pollute my being.

Min-Ji doesn’t even reply to my nagging anymore because she clearly looks so done with me already. I’ve never not bugged her with all my little love poems for him and caricatures of him, and after almost three years of mad crushing on him, today should feel like a blessing straight out of Heaven.

But all that I’m feeling now is extreme nervousness, and even my confidence seems non-existent at the moment.

“Should I call him or text him?” I whisper to Min-Ji once again, but it’s more like I’m talking to myself because she only dramatically rolls her eyes in response and scoffs grudgingly.

“I’ll text him,” I mumble under my breath, finally gathering all my courage and typing out a ‘Hi’ to him.

What? No. That’s the lamest thing to send.

I quickly erase it and groan in frustration, only to earn a strong kick in my shin from Min-Ji, the impact of which makes me hiss and grimace in pain.

“Get out of the library and text him for Heaven’s sake. I’m trying to finish up this essay, and you’re of no help, girl. Just go and help yourself already,” she whisper-yells, casting an angry glare at me through the top of her glasses.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, Min-Ji,” I whisper back my apology, quickly vacating my spot and rushing out of the library.

Grabbing my backpack from the bag rack outside, I make my way toward the school gates after wearing my noise-canceling headphones just like I always do. My bus arrives in about a minute, and I board it quietly.

The large, middle-aged lady with graying curls, who always sits on the same seat as mine but on the left aisle greets me with a warm smile like she usually does. I acknowledge her with a small bow of my head, heading over to my usual seat by the window on the right aisle thereafter.

She’s the only person I notice and interact with during my evening bus rides whenever I go back to appa’s home, and our interactions are limited only to friendly smiles and small, respectful bows. I rarely ever look around because I’m almost always listening to some sort of music on my phone and staring out of the window at the passing trees and buildings. It’s just how I like to relax on my way back home, and somehow the changing scenery and the calming music manage to put me in a good mood on most days.

Today, however, feels a little different because I do not feel like looking at the world outside. I’m thinking of texting Jungkook, and it has been the only thought on my mind for the past couple of hours. Once I get comfortable in my seat, I pull my phone out and stare at the messaging screen with Jungkook’s number, twisting my lips in contemplation. It’s a shame that I haven’t sent him a single message yet.

But I cannot wait for him to text me first because my friends aren’t as purposeful as his friends are, and I’m pretty sure they haven’t made any effort or even thought about passing on my phone number to him. I’m also kind of sure that Hoseok must have told him about giving me his phone number. It would only make sense for me to send him a message now because if our roles were reversed, all I would have done would be to stare at my phone in hopes of seeing a message from him.

Sending a simple ‘Hi’ might seem like a childish thing to do, but I’m actually unable to think of anything more creative to text him for starters. So, I type out the usual one-liner and hit the send button right away.

Me:
Hi Jungkook. This is Areum.

But when I do so, my hands quake so much, almost to the point of losing grip of my phone, and my heart performs some wild somersaults within my chest. I swiftly lock my phone and dump it inside my backpack, not wanting to be the cause of my own heart exploding out of severe anticipation. However, the hiatus doesn’t last for even ten seconds as I soon hear a dinging sound that signals an incoming message notification.

The very next second, my phone is back in my hand, and I find my fingers to be buttery and super clumsy all of a sudden as I keep drawing the incorrect unlock pattern a couple of times before finally getting it right and unlocking my phone to find a reply message from Jungkook.

Jungkook:
Hi Areum. I’ve been waiting to hear from you.

Reading his reply makes the corners of my lips quirk up into the widest smile that could manifest on them, and my cheeks heat up in a furious blush.

So we’re not so different from each other after all.

What do I ask him now?

I want to talk so much with him, and I literally have so many imaginary conversations with him inside my mind, and sometimes even loudly when I’m alone in my room. I’ve even named one of my plushies Jungkook, and I can’t remember the last time I fell asleep without having him by my side. Yet, right now, when I’m at a juncture where I have to strike up an actual conversation with the real Jungkook, my mind feels like a blank sheet of paper with absolutely no ideas falling into place.

OH MY GOD! I want to keep talking to him, but what do I ask him?

Much to my relief, he eases the situation by sending me another message.

Jungkook:
Congratulations on winning the pepero championship today 😁😁

Me:
Congratulations to you too. You played well 😊

Jungkook:
Did I? Thank you so much. You were smart too. It was so much fun.

Me:
Yeah, it was so much fun.

Jungkook:
It was Jin-Hyuk’s idea to play the game

Me:
Oh.. I guessed it (:

Jungkook:
He’ll be pleased to know (;

I hold a two-second debate within my head whether or not to talk about the violation, and I decide to bring it up anyway.

Me:
But we broke a rule and nobody knows

Jungkook:
Or maybe they knew it and let it pass

Me:
You think so?

Jungkook:
I’m sure of it

Me:
How so?

Jungkook:
I’ll tell you some other time

Me:
Okay..

Jungkook:
I was not ready to play the game with anyone else

Me too, Jungkook. Me too.

I swear my heart did something weird and my inner devil screamed in an unholy voice when I read that message from him. With a smile still sitting pretty on my lips, I take my bottom lip between my teeth to suppress the squeal that wants to erupt from my throat. Like, come on, what could be more exciting than to know that your crush also keeps hinting about having a crush on you?

My cheeks hurt because I hadn’t stopped smiling from the moment I received his first reply, and the nature of his replies is too much to handle for my poor heart. But who am I to complain?

Jungkook:
My friends told me that you’d also play if I played the game

Jungkook:
Is that true?

Me:
Uhm… who told you that?

Jungkook:
Does it matter? ;)

Me:
They weren’t wrong… (;

Jungkook:
I knew it too.. just today

Me:
I don’t know what to say

Jungkook:
Nothing. I’m just really happy today

Jungkook:
And the only reason is you

Oh My God! Is he trying to end my existence with messages of this sort?

Me:
Yay! I’m happy now (:

Jungkook:
Are you paying attention to the bus stops?

I glance up, suddenly remembering where I am, and, I’m surprised to find that I’m just a couple of stops away from de-boarding the bus. I wonder how he knew it though. It could be just a coincidence, or maybe he knows that I use the bus to school every day and just tried to sound cool and smart.

Me:
I am. I’ll be getting down soon.

Jungkook:
I want to ask you something. Can I?

My eyes widen in pleasant shock, and my fingers freeze and begin to shake terribly while my mind simultaneously starts to come up with a long list of possible questions that he might ask me.

Me:
Sure

Jungkook:
Who is Taehyung?

That question wasn’t even on the list that I could muster up in two seconds, but it definitely jars me because why would he ask me about my father? A frown of confusion settles upon my features as I type out his reply message with slightly trembling hands, which I have no idea why it happened in the first place.

It isn’t that I’m scared of appa for any reason. In fact, he’s the friendliest father any girl could ever ask for. Yet, I find this a little odd when Jungkook asks me about him.

Me:
Why do you ask?

Jungkook:
I asked first ;)

Me:
He’s my father. Now may I know why?

Jungkook:
Your father? Oh..

Jungkook:
I asked him the same question, and he told me to ask you. So I did :)))

Me:
WHAT??! What did you ask him? When did you ask him?

Jungkook:
I asked him ‘who is Taehyung’ ;)

Jungkook:
And we met once ;)

Me:
What the-?? Where did you meet him?

Jungkook:
Ask him ;)

Me:
Acting smart, I see

Jungkook:
I couldn’t recognize he was your father, but he looked much older to be your brother or a boyfriend

I almost choke on my saliva upon reading his message, but I break into a fit of laughter, soon regaining my composure when I glance around to find a few people eyeing me like I’m a crazy kid.

Me:
I took after my mom (:

Jungkook:
Everyone says the same to me (:

Me:
Nice (:

Jungkook:
Areum, you need to get down now.

My head snaps up from my phone, only to find my bus just about to screech to a halt at my usual stop with this bus. But again, how does he know?

Me:
How did you know?

I type out the message as I rise from my seat and sling the backpack over my shoulder, barely managing to hold on to my phone and the pole for support.

Jungkook:
I wonder how? ;)

I read his message just when the bus halts at my stop, and only then does a slim question pop up in my mind if he could be present on the same bus.

Jungkook:
I’m right here, Areum

His last message confirms the fact, and I whip my head around, my eyes quickly roaming over the seats inside, searching for him. Just when I climb down to the last step, my eyes go wide when they locate Jungkook sitting on the left aisle, just two rows behind mine.

My lips part in sheer surprise, and I almost stumble my way out of the door when he greets me with a little wave of his hand and a small, cute grin.

The bus doors slide closed while I stand rooted on the spot, stunned. And just when the bus moves past me, Jungkook slides into the seat on the left and smiles again, displaying his cute front teeth and waving goodbye to me.

Published on : 12/08/2024