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Sometimes all we need is a shoulder to lean on.
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Yoongi

“Areum?” My eyebrows raise in shock when Seon-Ho tells me who is here to see me.

“Yeah, she is here. I’ll take care of the dishes.” He confirms, picking out the box of cherries to slice and prep them for the pie we’ve planned to make tomorrow.

I wash my hands in a hurry and dry them on a towel as I scuttle to the door, making sure to inform Seon-Ho not to interrupt us until I ask for it.

Jang-Mi didn’t turn up for work today because she said she wasn’t feeling well. And now Areum is here to meet me on her own, which is a first. I’m not great at reading people or their minds, but if I’m connecting things well and if my intuitions are right, then something has happened at home between Jang-Mi and Areum or maybe with someone else involved in it as well.

It’s almost closing time for us, and when I enter the bakery, I find Areum seated at the table by the window that overlooks the road, appearing small in her seat. The air of worry around her is evident from the gloomy look on her usually bright and cheerful face.

She sees me as soon as I cross the counter and approach her table. But before I can reach her, a customer enters the bakery, making me turn my attention to them instead.

I greet them, giving them short descriptions of the few pieces of pastries and the three loaves of bread we have left at the moment. They seem to be taking their time to scan the goodies before deciding on a loaf of rye bread and a mini roast beef quiche to go. Once I bill their goods and hand them over, I rush to Areum’s table after turning over the board on the door to display the ‘Closed’ sign.

I check the time once, making a mental note that I’d also have to pick up Ji-Hu from his violin class in about thirty minutes.

“Hi, did I disturb you? I’m sorry I showed up unannounced.” Areum apologizes as soon as I take a seat facing her.

“Not at all. I was only cleaning up, and we’re closed for the day. So it’s okay. Can I get you something to eat?” I ask her, turning around to scan the limited options available in the display rack before I turn back to her. “Salty or sweet?”

“No, thank you. I’m not really hungry.” Areum replies with an apologetic smile.

“But food can fix your mood. Tell me how you’re feeling right now, and I can get you something appropriate.” I smile, trying my best to ease her a little.

“I feel like a selfish, foolish and mean person.” She says weakly, dipping her neck a little and making the smile on my face vanish instantly.

I shoot a quick glance around to make sure nobody is here, watching or hearing us.

“Did something happen to make you feel that way?” I ask, feeling worried for her.

“Yeah, mom must have told you.” She replies, and I had to strain to hear what she just said, my eyebrows coming together in an attempt to comprehend what I heard.

“Jang-Mi hasn’t turned up for work today, and she just told me she isn’t feeling well. That’s about it. I guess I’m missing something here.” My honest reply makes Areum’s eyes dart up to meet my gaze.

“That’s it?” She blinks her glossy eyes that widen, glimmering in the faint overhead lights.

“Yeah.” I confirm, nodding, while feeling an upwelling curiosity to know what actually happened that would make Jang-Mi not want to even look at me.

I try to brainstorm possible causes within a few seconds, but I’m unable to come up with anything sensible. Going by Areum’s tears that are on-the-verge, I’m even wondering if it could be something connected to Jang-Mi’s ex-husband.

“Gosh!” Areum runs a tense hand through her hair, her fingers gripping a bunch of hair as she rests her head on her palm.

“I know we aren’t that close yet, but if this is something you could share with me, and if you think I’d be able to help you in any way even if it’s just by listening to you, then please pour it out. I’m here for you, all ears.” My sincere words make Areum’s lips curl up into a quivering smile and a fat drop of tear rolls down her cheek.

I don’t tell her not to cry because that would be inconsiderate. She’s definitely going through something, and she believed I could do something for her when she decided to meet me. So all I want to do now is make sure her belief wasn’t wrong, irrespective of whether or not her problem actually gets solved.

We remain silent for a few seconds, by which time Areum wipes away her tears and drinks a glass of water that I brought out for her.

“Mom and I had an argument this morning. It was because of me. I was already stressed out, and I just blew up on her.” Areum confesses in a small voice without meeting my gaze.

I listen without interrupting her, resting my elbows on the table and keeping my eyes on her.

“I feel so terrible now for everything that I told her,” she adds, her voice coming out with a mix of guilt and regret. 

“I’m sure arguing with your mother must have happened before as well.” I opine only when she looks up at me, hoping to probably hear what I feel.

“Yeah, but I’ve never told the things I did today.” Frustration laces her tone and expressions as she runs a hand over her hair once again. “I mean, I’m still torn if I did the right thing or not.”

I remain silent, placing my clasped fingers over my mouth and waiting for her to clarify more. Right now, I’m clueless about what actually happened and telling her something insincere just because I feel I should say something isn’t going to help in any way. Sometimes, silence is a requirement, and so I only hum lightly, encouraging her to open up and also telling her that I’m invested.

“I wanted to go and meet a friend this morning, but she isn’t technically a friend that mom knows about. So I covered it up with a bad lie, and she knew I was lying. I didn’t want to tell her the truth though, but I also felt offended when she told me not to lie even though I was aware I was actually lying.” Areum speaks with animated hand movements, her words rushing out in a display of self-justification.

I guess, despite the conflict within her mind, her inner self is telling her that she did not do anything that bad by telling a small lie. There’s a definite conflict brewing between her beliefs and behavior which is making her deny the simple fact that she heard from her mother this morning.

“And then I shouted at her for blowing it out of proportion. I put my foot down that I’m an adult and that I don’t have to tell her everything anymore. I even added that she would lie, too. I mean, don’t we all lie sometimes?” Areum asks me, pushing some hair behind both her ears.

“Yeah, I mean, it depends.” I shrug lightly, not entirely denying her claim.

“Yeah,” She nods dramatically. “That’s what I told her, too. But she insisted that she has never lied to me. And after that I compared our lives and said some stupid things and broke down. She was hurt, too, I guess. I left home and haven’t gone back.” She says, sounding guilty once again.

I’ve heard of teenager mood swings, but this is a little too fast. However, I don’t blame her for it. She has had an unfairly hard life, and I’m sure she’s still trying to heal as a young adult. It must be so hard and confusing for her, and I feel responsible to help her a little by being non-judgmental and supportive.

“I can see you’re not feeling great about whatever you said. But we all say and do things like that quite often. It’s okay to feel this way, Areum.” My assurance makes Areum look down at her hands, nodding lightly.

“I don’t want to ask you the full details of what you told her. But if you feel you’d do better by apologizing to her, then you should do it. Not for her, not for me, not for anyone else. But just for you to feel better. It’s okay to be selfish that way.” I explain, and Areum looks up at me, unblinking.

“It doesn’t even have to be a formal apology or anything because that isn’t how parents and children work. Just tell her openly how you felt at that time and how you feel now. I’m sure it’s not that hard to do, right?” I ask her, and she nods a few times, dipping her neck once again.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Areum’s shoulders lift in a small shrug. “I hate when things like these happen.” Her frustration and helplessness show through when she says that.

“Areum, life doesn’t go according to plan. Unexpected things happen all the time, and it may not be what we want. That doesn’t mean it’s not the best for you. When we go through something unusual, we feel the entire universe is against us, and we may not appreciate it. But the truth is that even such situations teach us valuable lessons and help us grow. These kinds of unexpected situations are like the wind. Sometimes the wind is mild and enjoyable, sometimes it’s strong like a storm. But there’s no need to fear the wind when the roots are strong.” I speak softly while deeply insisting the same to myself.

I’ve always hated how things turn out in life sometimes, but if there’s one life lesson I’ve learned, it is that nothing ever happens without a reason or higher purpose. It might even seem impossible to accept things right away, but, eventually, it puts our minds at peace to understand that every situation we face, every person we meet, every word we hear and every little suffering we undergo promotes growth. It doesn’t matter whether we accept it or not, but if something changes you or your thoughts or actions even subconsciously or incrementally, then it has caused an impact; it has caused growth.

Areum agrees, occasionally nodding her head in agreement.

“I’m sure Jang-Mi would understand, and this argument, no matter how hard or bad it was, wouldn’t shake up your roots. I bet she’s even waiting to hear from you. But you don’t have to do it right away just because I said so. Take your time, think it through and then talk to her.” I send a smile her way when she finally looks up at me for a few seconds with a noticeable look of clarity in her eyes.

“I feel so, too. I need to apologize, and I know it’s the right thing to do, but I really need some time.” Areum says, clearing her throat thereafter.

“That’s completely okay.” I assure her, validating the way she feels and finally causing her tense shoulders to relax.

“I get it.” She smiles a little more this time.

“Now do you want to eat something? I can get you something to drink, if you don’t want to eat. Coffee? Hot chocolate?” I ask her as I rise from my seat while giving her a few options.

“I don’t drink coffee. Hot chocolate sounds good.” Areum says with another smile, and I okay her.

While I prepare her beverage, she keeps herself busy by typing out some messages—with a broad smile on her face, may I add. It makes me smile, too, because I can clearly see the shift in her emotions, and it makes me feel good to know that a little bit of listening and sharing my views with her has helped fix her mood and clear her dilemma to such an extent.

I’m not an expert by any means, but what I shared with her was what I honestly feel about any meaningful relationship. Communicating is the key, no matter how happy or depressed you feel. It may not be easy, but it definitely gets easier with practice and consistent efforts.

I did get a little worked up when Areum mentioned at the start that she had an argument with Jang-Mi. I was undeniably a little disappointed that Jang-Mi didn’t want to tell me anything about it, but then as I listened to Areum’s account of events, I quickly realized it was best I hadn’t heard anything before and formed a mental picture of the situation. That may have impacted my thoughts in some way without me knowing, but now I’m glad it didn’t.

Even now, I do not know the details of what words were exchanged, but it is best I respect their space and let them sort it out themselves. This is also the first time I’m facing such a situation with Jang-Mi, and I understand that her initial reaction would be to withdraw and close off. I didn’t bother her all day except for occasionally checking with her about how she was doing and if she had her food on time. But that was because I had no clue that a war of words had occurred between mother and daughter.

Now that I know it, I feel I must check with Areum if she’d tell Jang-Mi about our meeting. Taking her large mug of marshmallow-topped hot chocolate to her table on a small tray, I neatly place it in front of her and send a smile her way.

“Wow! It looks so good.” Areum says, rubbing her hands together and taking hold of the mug.

“I hope you enjoy it.” I smile again, watching her take a careful sip of the cocoa.

I decide to hold back until she’s done and ready to leave because holding a heavy conversation or any conversation at all, for that matter, over a comforting cup of hot beverage is something I despise doing. I don’t know if it’s the same with her, but if it’s something that makes me uncomfortable, then I wouldn’t be doing that to someone else.

So, I wait patiently, simultaneously figuring out that it’s probably the same with Areum. I believe she likes to have her hot cup of drink uninterrupted.

Once she’s done emptying her drink in about ten minutes, she picks up her phone and prepares to leave. I prepare to ask her the question I wanted to ask her earlier, but she beats me to it by being the first one among us to put forth a question.

“Can I ask a favor from you?”

“Sure.” I say, keeping my hands inside the pockets of my apron as I stand facing her.

“Please don’t tell eomma that I met you here today. I know she won’t be upset about it or anything, but I just want this to be between us.” Areum clarifies my doubt as if there was a wave of telepathy that connected our thoughts.

Her words make me feel big and responsible, and I’m happy and grateful she trusted me so much to the extent of holding our own space with something that would be just ours. I wouldn’t ever do anything to shake up that trust she has in me.

“Alright. I’ll not tell her. You can trust me.” I assure her with a firm nod of my head, and she bows her head in gratitude.

“Thank you, Yoongi. Thank you for hearing me out. I feel better already. I’m meeting my dad for dinner, and then I’ll head home and talk to mom. I’ll make sure she shows up for work tomorrow.” Areum chuckles, sweetly scrunching her nose.

“I’d greatly appreciate that.” I say, glancing at the clock behind the counter once and realizing it’s almost time for me to pick up Ji-Hu.

I usher Areum to the door and impatiently shuffle on my feet while she calls a taxi for herself and leaves shortly after. I then call Ji-Hu’s teacher and inform him I’d be late by a few minutes while hurriedly slipping on my coat and dashing down the street to where I’d have to pick my son up.

Published on : 01/08/2025