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A man’s friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.
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Areum

When I texted appa earlier while I was at ‘Sweet Tooth’, he told me that he was free tonight and that we could catch up over dinner. I had anyway planned to go over sometime next week or so, but given the current state of affairs, I could very well do that today.

After the rift with mom, if I go to stay with appa right away without trying to reconcile, it will only widen the gap and make it more difficult to deal with later. That isn’t my intention, and I definitely want to talk to her very soon, but my father is still my safe place and I feel like meeting him and spending some time with him today. Besides, I also have some confessions to make to him.

I’m waiting in the lobby of his office, aimlessly staring at the phone in my hand and preparing a mental list of all that I want to discuss with my dad over dinner. It takes another ten minutes before he steps out of his office and greets me with a warm hug and a radiant smile.

“I’m sorry you had to wait, bubba. I hope you’re hungry enough for where we’re headed,” Appa gives me a playful wink as he throws an arm over my shoulder and walks us outside.

“Uhm… I’m just moderately hungry. Can we go to our usual place?” I question him, turning to my side to look up at him, and he does the same.

“Now?” He raises a brow, and I nod, to which his smile appears soon after when he mumbles an ‘okay’ of acceptance.

In the next fifteen minutes, my dad and I are seated at my favorite childhood bakery. We order the last three pieces of egg tart along with a small serving of triple chocolate mousse cake for appa. The two of us settle down at our usual favorite table beside the fish tank in the corner.

“I can’t believe you’re going to university already, bubba.” Appa remarks while carefully biting into his tart.

“Yeah.” I laugh softly, nibbling my tart. “I’m thrilled.” I say, and he nods with that typical proud dad smile that sits so well on his face.

“It’s amazing how this thing tastes just the same every time.” My father moans in satisfaction, chewing the tart and talking at the same time with his mouth full.

“Yeah, it’s amazing!” I say, like it’s the least interesting thing to talk about at the moment.

“Spill it, bubba. I’m all ears.” Appa’s sudden words make me stop chewing and look at him for a moment.

He really knows me so well, and there’s no more reason to pretend or beat around the bush. However, there’s no denying the sudden onset of nervousness within me.

“I-” I clear my throat and right myself in my seat. “I… uhm… There’s this boy I like. And you happen to have met him already.” My voice sounds weak and strangled, like I’m attempting to do something unimaginable.

“Jungkook.” He declares, smirking in a handsome way.

“Yeah.” I smile, a blush spreading across my cheeks as I lower my head a little.

I’m thankful they already met once and I also know about it because otherwise, this conversation would not have happened now, and it wouldn’t have been so easy for me as well.

“I’m glad he talked to you about it. He seemed like a nice guy.” My father approves, picking up a napkin to dab the corners of his mouth.

“He is.” I confirm, still blushing and feeling my heart beating a little faster.

Over the remaining egg tarts, mousse and a top-up order of trifle pudding cups for the two of us and a caramel latte for appa, I fill him in about Jungkook and Jin-Hyuk and other things that happened and disrupted the equilibrium of life lately, keeping out the exact details of today’s meeting with Jungkook.

He listens with utmost attention, being sure not to interrupt me. Upon pondering, he even tells me that he’d like to meet Jungkook sometime and have a talk with him over a game of basketball in our backyard, to which I agree.

I even bring up the argument I had with my mom this morning, and this holds my father’s attention more than anything else. However, I don’t mention that I met Yoongi earlier and made up my mind to apologize to her for my impulsiveness. For the record, I’m not even sure if eomma has told him about Yoongi yet or if at all she plans on telling him anything in the future. So I steer clear of bringing up his name in the discussion.

Appa listens with a brief nod of his head and doesn’t say anything more about it, which does bother me a little. But I don’t pry him any more.

Once we leave the bakery and get ourselves seated in the car, appa turns down the volume of the music and proceeds to drive slowly. I can sense a conversation is about to begin, but I remain quiet, taking in the scenery of the concrete jungle around us.

“Isn’t it true though that we all lie sometimes?” His eyes leave the road for a moment, turning to look at me with a divine smile.

“Yeah. That’s what I said, too. We all lie sometimes.” I admit, shrugging casually.

“Right.” He laughs softly, going back to focusing on the road. “We sometimes lie to save ourselves. Some other times to save others. In these cases, what do you think counts? Being untruthful or doing some greater good?” His question hangs in the air for a while, neither of us attempting to answer it.

Appa, however, is the first to break the silent lull as he flicks on the indicator and takes a turn close to my school and not headed towards where my mother and I live.

“I’m not defending your lies, but you know which one of these is your reasons to lie, and which one is your mother’s reasons to lie to you—if at all you feel she has lied to you. I want you to think about things and choose what you want to do. But if I were to pick, I’d say, apologize to eomma and put an end to it.” He says in a deeper and more serious tone as he turns to enter a small lane lined with similar looking row houses on both sides.

“I will.” I answer, taking in our surroundings. “Why are we here, appa?” I ask him, clueless.

“Isn’t this where you said Jin-Hyuk lives?” He asks me, pulling over in front of a house on the left.

Appa then turns off the stereo and unfastens his seat belt. I do the same and climb out following him.

“I did. But I have no idea which is his house. I just heard from Jungkook that he lives here.” I jog over to the other side, blinking when I see him laughing softly in response.

“Let’s find out then.” He smiles at me, grabbing my arm and marching down towards the first house.

“Appa, they’re going to think we’re some creepy folks. We’d better leave before someone sees us going from door to door and calls the police.” I plead in vain, trying to stop him from doing anything.

But my father seems like he has gone deaf, setting out on a potentially embarrassing mission. He lets go of my hand and confidently pushes the doorbell button, waiting with his chest puffed out and hands buried inside the pockets of his coat.

A sweet-looking old lady answers the door in a while, and appa bows to her. He then greets her and introduces us briefly.

“Ahjumeoni, do you perhaps know where Jin-Hyuk lives? The high school boy who plays basketball.” He asks her politely while I stand at a distance, ready to flee the place in case she starts yelling or something.

Much to my pleasant surprise, she points to a house on the opposite side, muttering something which my father seems to have gathered.

“Thank you, and I’m sorry for troubling you. Please rest well. Good night!” He bows many times, more respectfully each time, and it somehow seems to please the old lady very much.

She greets us goodbye and disappears behind the door after which my father turns to look at me with a proud smirk.

“Wasn’t so hard, right?” He sends a wink my way as he runs a hand through his hair and walks past me, headed straight to the said house.

I pick up a small jog and catch up with him at the doorstep of the house, and the moment I get there, I immediately know that it’s Jin-Hyuk’s house when I see his younger brother taking the trash out. He sees us, too, and gives me a faint smile of recognition.

“Hi, I guess you’re Jin-Hyuk’s brother?” I ask him, taking a step closer to him, and he nods his head, looking a little wary.

His gaze flits between my father and I.

“I’m Areum, his friend from school.” I say. “And this is my father.” I point to appa, and then I turn to look at the little boy. “Can I meet Jin-Hyuk?”

“Yeah. I’ll call my mom.” Saying so, the little guy dashes inside his house, shouting out for his mother while we both wait outside their front porch.

In a moment, the boy shows up with his mother, and I introduce ourselves to her. Appa then tells her the reason for our visit, and she permits us inside. Until I came here today and looked at the photograph of his father with a large flower wreath around it, I had no idea that Jin-Hyuk’s father had passed away. However, I’m relieved to know it isn’t a recent occurrence as seen from his year of passing that is printed at the bottom of the photograph.

His mother then quietly guides us to a small game room by the side, and she chooses to stay outside. The room is quite dark, and when I peep inside it, I see Jin-hyuk standing in front of a large screen, wearing his VR goggles. He is immersed in a solo game of virtual basketball, and it hurts to see his left wrist wrapped up in a large bandage.

“Go on. Talk to him.” My father nudges me, and I turn my head around to look at him, shocked.

“No, you come with me, too.” I whisper to him, but he only gently pushes me inside and closes the door, the sound of which makes Jin-Hyuk whip around to look at me.

“Who is it?” He sounds a little groggy as he saunters over to turn on the lights in the room.

“Hey! It’s me, Areum.” I say meekly, standing rooted to my spot near the door.

“Areum?” Jin-Hyuk sounds surprised when he takes off his goggles and squints a little. “Wow! What a surprise!” He says, managing a smile.

He looks like he has lost some weight, and he appears much quieter than how he used to be at school.

“Yeah, I just thought of visiting you. How’s your wrist now?”

“Thanks. It’s getting better. I had a follow-up today. Looks like it’s healing well.” He answers with another smile, attempting to pull a bean bag for me.

“I’ll do it, wait.” I stop him and drag out two bean bags for us, and then we both sit down facing each other.

“Did Jungkook tell you?” He asks me, his eyebrows raised.

I nod lightly, humming in response.

“He hasn’t been answering my calls, hasn’t shown up on Discord, and he hasn’t even called me. What’s that fucker up to?” Jin-Hyuk’s voice drops, as does his smile as well as mine.

“What? He never talked to you?” I shriek a little, realizing how far Jungkook had let his self blame and unreasonable guilt pull him apart.

“Yeah, my mother told me that he visited me when I was unconscious at the hospital, you know, after the surgery. But he never even called me afterwards.” I don’t even know how to react to the information he just delivered.

“I met him earlier and he told me how you were doing and everything. So I thought he constantly checked on you.” My voice comes out laced with an uncertain edge to it.

“Mhm?” Jin-Hyuk shoulders move slightly up and then down in a small shrug. “I guess he checked up with Joon or Hoseok.”

“Oh…”

“This is what he does when he shuts off.” Upon sensing my struggle, Jin-Hyuk completes the sentence for me with an all-knowing edge to his tone.

I just stare at him, nodding, clasping my hands together on the top of my lap.

“He’s always been like that.” He chuckles, unamused as he runs a hand through his hair. “From when he was really young.” He smiles.

“Really?” I ask, catching on his smile like I’ve been infected by it.

“Yeah, you know when we first met. We were both like seven years old, and he was this shy and always silent boy. But I was all chatty, like a firecracker. One day I just randomly went up to him and asked him ‘what’s your favorite dinosaur?’ and on the count of three, I screamed Triceratops. He just stood there bewildered, tears in his eyes and everything. I was equally confused because I didn’t know what went wrong, but he just ran away and didn’t turn up at school the next day.” Jin-Hyuk reminisces with a smile that seems a lot more natural and genuine this time.

“Did he also want to say triceratops?” I question him, quite intrigued by the scenario.

“No, listen. He came to school the day after, and I asked him what happened. He didn’t say a word, and, for a minute, I thought he was mute or something.” He pauses to laugh briefly. “I didn’t ask him for his favorite dinosaur after that, but we just hung out together silently and he eventually got comfortable with me. And then Hoseok and Namjoon, too, became friends with us. It was only at the end of the year he told me that his favorite dinosaur was Velociraptor. So back when I asked him the question, he thought I would wait for him to answer. But instead I just shouted out my favorite dinosaur, thinking that he would also shout out his favorite. It was a kind of silly game we played back then, but Jungkook didn’t know of it.

“So he felt overwhelmed and shocked, and developed a bit of anxiety as well. He needed to stay away from everyone to gather himself together. Apparently, he even blamed himself for being uncool and not knowing the game. Self blame consumes him, but he usually comes out of it. Every time he’s stressed out or anxious or overwhelmed, he just shuts himself off and goes into hibernation. Probably punching the life out of his bag in the backyard. I thought he’d gotten a lot better these days. But it looks like I was wrong.” Jin-Hyuk shrugs lightly and nods to himself as he leans back in his seat.

“No, you’re not wrong because you know him really well. He told me that it is how he copes with extreme stress these days.” I tell him softly, and continue talking when he gives me only a lopsided smile in response.

“Jungkook actually feels so guilty about the entire situation. He’s blaming himself for it. He feels guilty for leading the team to victory without you in it, and he’s guilty for everything you’re going through. He feels it’s all because of him. Jungkook is feeling terrible actually.” My words cause Jin-Hyuk to stare blankly at me for a few seconds after which he blows out a big breath.

“I knew he’d do this, and it’s why I’ve been trying to talk to him. It wasn’t because of him at all, Areum. It was just meant to happen. I mean, yeah, we all had really big dreams about the finals and everything,” Jin-Hyuk lowers his head a little, and his voice goes down as well. “But I guess my life had other plans. But none of it is Jungkook’s fault.” He looks back up at me with slightly teary eyes, a forced, crooked smile and a reddened nose.

“Hey,” I rise from my seat and go closer to him, wrapping my arms around him in a warm and comforting embrace.

When he returns the gesture, he does so in a very respectful manner, but his tears still fall. And seeing him in tears makes me feel miserable as well; my tears drip slowly.

“Jin-Hyuk, I can’t tell you not to cry. But I just want you to know that this isn’t the end of anything.” I pull back, wiping away my tears, and he does the same, still smiling a little and nodding.

I know how terrible he must be feeling to miss out at the most crucial point after having played so hard all these years and spending years together relying on his athletic abilities for getting an admission in a good college. And what hurts is that no one around him has the power to give him what he has missed.

“I know.” His words come out in airy whispers.

“For now, you need to focus hard on your wrist healing well.” I don’t give him any false hopes about admissions or anything else related to that because I’m pretty sure he knows what the situation is like.

“Do you want to come out with me for a bit? You look like you’ve been in here forever.” I ask him, simultaneously planning something out within my mind.

“Sure. Why not?” He quickly agrees with a smile, and together we leave the room.

After taking a moment to introduce him to appa, the three of us leave his house and head to a gaming café that’s a little far from where he lives. We picked this place because Jin-Hyuk assured me that he can play amazingly well with just his left hand.

As per the sudden plan that I just came up with and texted him about, appa drops us both at the gaming café and tells me to call him when we’re ready to leave. Once he leaves, we both head inside to reserve our PCs at the touch-screen ticket machine. After collecting our printed receipts, we then head over to our machines.

“Jungkook would be mad as fuck if he knew I went out with you.” Jin-Hyuk comments, laughing nervously.

“You think so? Why don’t we ask him then?” I wiggle my eyebrows, smiling when he gives me a confused smile in return.

Published on : 01/09/2025