"From everything I've heard, my mother suffered in silence alone for years." Jace says when he and I walked into the courtyard, "She never got the help she needed-"

"Listen- you're gonna be okay." I had my arms crossed, "Whatever's happening to you, we're gonna figure it out-"

Jace stops, "I'm thinking of going to the City of Bones for treatment."

"With the Silent Brothers?" I gape at him.

Jace slowly nods, "They have a history of helping Shadowhunters with mental health issues."

"Jace, we don't know that's what you're going through." I put my hand on his arm, "You didn't start this way until after you were brought back- do you really think that's a coincidence?"

Jace inhales, "I think it was a trigger- for something that's always been there."

"Jace-" I sigh.

"Look, I can't sit- benched and do nothing." Jace said to me, "If there is even a chance that the Silent Brothers can help, then that's-"

"But, what if they can't?" I asked, "Jace, you would be deemed unfit for duty and deruned-"

"And what choice do I have?" He looked at me, his tone vulnerable, "I can't live like this."

I swallowed hard, "I could try to talk to the Angel?-"

"No- no, it's too dangerous." Jace shook his head, "Look- if we summon Raziel, he could destroy us just for bothering him."

"Well, what about Ithuriel?" I looked up at him, "He's helped us before- and his blood runs in our veins- I mean, good enough reason to assume he'd help."

Jace sighs, "Zee-"

"Jace, if you are suffering the consequences of being brought back from the dead, then I'm going to do everything I can to fix it." I took a step towards him, "I brought this on you- let me fix it."

"Well, what are you gonna do?" Jace huffed at my words, "Are you gonna text him?"

"I'll figure it out." I shrug, "Just- trust me, okay?"

Jace softly nods, before grabbing my face and pressing his lips into mine gently.

-

"Can I borrow a dress?" Isabelle's voice filled the line when I was out, heading to the precinct to see Luke, "I need something mundane to wear."

I pause, "Are you calling my wardrobe boring?"

"No-" Isabelle trails off, "I like your clothes-"

I roll my eyes, "Going undercover?"

"Something like that-" Isabelle mumbles.

I question immediately, "What's going on?"

"I'm going out tonight with the doctor." Isabelle replies, "Before you say anything- it's just dinner- and I'm only doing it so he can leave me alone."

"Well, then- why go out with him at all?" I asked, "You know- since you're only doing it for him to leave you alone-"

"You're right- I should cancel." Isabelle said after a few seconds, "Help with The Owl search."

"Oh, shut up-" I say, "Go to the dinner-"

Isabelle began, "But-"

"You've been working non-stop." I shot back her, "You need a few hours to enjoy yourself."

Isabelle sighs and from that, I knew I won her over.

-

"Are these the victims of the Owl?" I asked Luke, looking at the board of profiles he had by his desk.

"Yeah." Luke confirmed, "26 victims in total throughout the tristate area."

"Law enforcement thinks it's some deranged cult brainwashing their members to kill their loved ones." Luke looks at me, "What's up?"

I clear my throat, "I was wondering if you could get me a meeting with- uhm, your sister-"

"Cleophas?" Luke asks.

"I need an Iron Sister-" I trail off, "And for what I have to do, I can't go to the Citadel."

"What's this all about?" Luke exhales when I don't say anything, "Kiddo, it's me- you can talk to me about anything."

"Fine." I inhale slow, looking down, my voice going quietly "Um- back at Lake Lyn, when Jace and I were battling Valentine- Jace wasn't just injured."

"What do you mean?" Luke asked.

I look at him, "He was killed."

"What?" Luke sat us.

"I was holding him- the only man I'd ever loved, dead in my arms-" I looked ahead at the wall, tears filling my eyes, "I mean- god, my best friend died in my arms, Luke- and Raziel was right in front of me-"

Luke knee where this was going, "You had Raziel bring him back?-"

"What other choice did I have?" The tears in my eyes fell at the thought, "I couldn't lose him-"

"Luke, I've been lying-" I looked at him when he sighs, "I've been lying to Alec, to Izzy, to Clary- just- everyone! It's killing me inside- and I don't know what to do-"

Luke grabs my hand, "It's okay-"

"No, it's not." I shook my head, "Ever since Jace has been brought back to life- he hasn't been himself."

"There is something seriously wrong with him and I think it's because of my wish." I told him, "I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to him, Luke-"

Luke exhales, "And that's why you need Cleophas?"

I nodded slow, his stare on me.

My expression held absolute desperation.

And he knew that.

-

"Oh, man." Luke exhales when we stepped out of the portal I had created, a few feet away from a farmhouse, "I will never get used to that."

"Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty cool too." I ran a hand through my hair, "Of all places, why would she come here?"

"I brought her here." Luke gestured, "It's my farm."

I look at him, "You have a farm?"

"I stayed here for six months, back when I first turned." Luke started to walk towards it, "Back when my life fell apart- that little farm house is where I put it back together."

"Have you heard from her?" I walked with him, "If it had a similar effect on her or not?"

"I haven't heard from her since I brought her here." Luke said to me, "She's cut herself off."

"Can't say I blame her." I sighed quietly as we came closer to the porch, "After what she went through with Valentine- I can only imagine how she feels."

"Cleo?" Luke knocks on the door when we got on the porch, "It's Lucian."

She opens the door, looking between the both of us, before hugging onto me tightly, catching us both off guard, "Zee."

-

"Iron Sisters do have ways to communicate with the angels." Cleophas said to us when we had brought up Ithuriel, "But- I'm afraid I cannot do that for you."

Luke looks at her, "You can't, or you won't?"

She sighs, "I have been trying to contact the angels, but- as hard as I try, they will not answer."

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm not certain." She looked down, "I sometimes wonder if my own irredeemable actions have severed my ties to the heavens."

"I'm useless." She then looks at me, "But you, Zee- you are far from useless."

I look at her, "What does that mean?"

"You may not be an Iron Sister, but- Ithuriel's blood runs through you." She brought the thought up.

I set my tea down, "You think I can summon Ithuriel?-"

"No one other than an Iron Sister has done it before." Cleophas admits, "There may be risks- but, it's certainly worth a try."

Luke asks, "What risks?"

"There's a chance it could anger Ithuriel." Cleophas began, "He could lash out at her-"

I mention, "He's never hurt me before-"

"He chose those moments to appear to you." She said to me, "Summoning an Angel is a whole different story."

Luke looks at me, sighing, "Zee, I know this is important, but- so are you."

I look at him, "Jace is important."

-

"This contains trace amounts of adamas, to help call the Angels." Cleophas told me, before stepping back from the circle she had drawn in the dirt, gesturing for me to step inside of it.

I slowly walked into it, exhaling slow, looking at her, "What's next?"

"Activate your angelic rune." She instructs.

I did what she asked, then looked at her for the next instruction she was going to give.

"Now, repeat after me." She began to recite something, "Ignis aurum probat."

I did, "Ignis aurum probat."

"Ita probat me." She continued.

I repeated, "Ita probat me."

"They've heard you." Her eyes widen slightly when the circle around me lit up gold surrounding me.

I look at her, "What happens now?-"

"For you to hear them, we have to leave you here." Cleophas headed over to a disapproving Luke.

"Leave her here?" He shook his head, "No way."

"You're a Downworlder, and I murdered an Iron Sister." Cleophas shout at him, "How do you think the Angel's gonna react to us?"

"Luke-" I caught his attention, "I'll be fine."

Luke huffs, as Cleophas nods at me once, before the both of them left me, "May the Angel be with you."

-

My arms flew to cover my face when a beam of light cane from the sky, landing right in front of me, making my entire surrounding ten times lighter, the sky looking as if it had been day time.

"Zee-" Ithuriel's voice filled my ears when the light slowly became tolerable, "You should not be here."

"Ithuriel, I'm sorry to have summoned you-" I didn't look at him, keeping my stare on the ground, "I understand if you're angry- but, please- let me explain-"

"It's all right, my child." I looked up at him when he said those words, "I'm here for you."

He spoke before I could explain, "You've come because of Jace-"

"You know what happened?" I asked.

He nods, "I do."

"I need to know- is Jace the way he is because of what I did?" I questioned, "Is it because of me?"

"No." Ithuriel shakes his head, "But- returning from death has left him vulnerable."

I blink, "What?"

"You now face a greater threat than you realize." Ithuriel takes a few steps toward me, "A great evil has arrived in the realm of the mundane."

I stare at him, "The Owl?"

"The Owl has a master." Ithuriel began to tell me, "Its name is-"

His scream makes me flinch and stumble back, my eyes wide at the claw that had ripped through his chest, holding his heart in it's hands.

His body blew up in a beam of light, sending me flying back and hitting the ground hard, a groan leaving my lips as I laid on the ground.

The demon inched closer to me, it's claw coming towards me, but stopping right about my chest, before I felt like all my energy had been sucked out of me, everything going black.

-

"It's okay!-" Luke immediately said when I gasped away, gripping onto the couch I was laying on, noticing how I was in the farm house, "It's okay- you're gonna be alright."

"What happened out there?" Cleophas asked me the moment I slowly sat up, "Did Ithuriel appear?"

Her words made everything come back.

"Oh my God-" My heart ached at the thought, my eyes wide with tears, gripping onto the couch, "Ithuriel-"

authors note:

there weren't many zace moments in this-

but, the next chapter might be kinda juicy lmao

from here on out, good chapters hopefully

but, vote and comment loadsss