"Zee, come on- I was there when Sebastian called you out on everything." Alec stood in front of me as we stood in the Ops Center, "That's why you won't take a chance on Jace?"

"Huh- what?" I pretended like I was clueless.

Alec knew this, "Don't do it."

I scratched the top of my head purposefully, "Sorry, I really don't know what you're talking about-"

Alec's eyes slowly squint, "Zee."

I continued the act anyway, "I'm sorry- if I could recall- I'd discuss it with you-"

"Shadowhunter down." Jace's voice filled my ears, making me cut myself off and turn, seeing him and Clary walking towards Alec and I.

"Milo Keytower." Clary identified.

I face him, "What happened?"

"From what I understand, his runes were carved out." Inquisitor Herondale joined, "Is that true, Jace? "

"Yes." Jace nodded towards her when she asked, "After he was attacked by a wolf."

Clary adds, "He had multiple bite and claw marks."

"What kind of werewolf randomly attacks a Shadowhunter?" I questioned.

"One who's trying to send a message." said Alec.

Inquisitor Herondale nodded and added in, "And get the attention of the Clave."

I exhale, "Alright, well- we need to find them before this happens again."

Inquisitor Herondale interjects, "Well, I think I have a pretty good idea who it is."

-

"What happened?" Jace asked when Lindsay and I walked toward him and Alec, that alarms blaring and flashing red.

"We found Rosegreen and Penmount dead in the Bowery." I told him, messing with my glove, "Runes carved out-"

Lindsay adds in, "Just like Keytower."

"Except Penmount's been drained by a vampire." Alec noticed, his eyes glued to the body.

Jace points out as well, "And Rosegreen was lanced by a Seelie Knight."

"It's not just a lone wolf." I looked between them, "It's multiple Downworlders."

"Luke was right all along- the Downworlders want revenge." Jace realized, "This could be the start of an uprising."

-

"Another Shadowhunter was found Dead last night in Williamsburg- this time, murdered this time murdered by a warlock." Inquisitor Herondale announces, "In this time of crisis, it is essential that we maintain strong leadership- that is why I am naming, Jace Herondale, Head of the Institute, effective upon my departure to Idris."

"Dismissed." She dismissed, as Jace immediately walked toward us after she did.

Jace began, "Let's not make a big deal about this- she's still in charge until she leaves."

"Look at you, Mr. Institute-" I cross my arms, "Don't let the royalty get to your head-"

"I won't-" Jace looked at me, his eyes lingering with mine, "Although- there is a girl I'm trying to impress-"

I roll my eyes, not picking up what he was implying, "Yeah, 'cause anyone would be into cocky bastards that flaunt their family's name-"

"So- Herondales are what, like the Kennedys of the Shadow World?" Clary asked as we surrounded the table.

"It's an old Shadowhunter family." Alec replies to her, "Like the Lightwoods."

Isabelle cuts in, "But- we are the Kennedys."

"Let's focus on what matters." Jace interjected, "The Inquisitor would like us to reach out to our allies, to see what they know- at this point, she considers all Downworlders suspects."

"That's casting a pretty broad net." Alec said.

Clary followed up, "She can't possibly think any of our friends did this-"

"Yeah, well, we'll prove that to her." Jace responded, "Since Luke's DNA cleared him, we should collect samples from all of our friends to clear them as well- I'll make an Institute-wide announcement."

"I'll go talk to Simon-" I offered, looking at Clary who gave me a nod, as I walked away from them, "Haven't seen him in a while-"

-

"You know- using the whole- the entire Downworlder is after you- it's not safe to be walking home by yourself gag to try and talk to me about Jace is a low blow-" I said to Simon after answering his phone call, walking down the alley.

"Well, I mean- come on- it's an interesting topic." Simon replied, "Plus- it'll keep you on the phone so I can make sure you don't die out there-"

"You are- exceptionally wrong," I dramatically sighed in a playful tone, "Jace is the last person I want to talk about-"

"Why- 'cause you're in love with him?" Simon called me out, "But- of course- you can't be with him- how tragic-"

"I'm not- in love with him-" I stopped, "Simon, if you don't shut the hell up- I'll come back to your little closet and lay one on you-"

My words were cut off when I got hit in the back of the head, a grunt leaving my lips as I dropped my phone, collapsing onto the ground.

I groaned, gripping my head, feeling my hand wetting due to the blood, my vision blurry.

Then my head fell back into the ground, everything going black as I kept consciousness.

-

My eyes cracked open when the light hitting my eyelids became more noticeable, blinking a few times to focus my vision as I noticed I was in my room.

My body was sore, and my head was in pain, making me reach up and grab my head, groaning lightly.

"Hey-" Alec's voice filled my ears from beside my bed, making me look over at my concerned best friend, "I'm glad you're awake-"

I look at him, "What happened?-"

"You were drugged." Alec exhales slowly, "Fortunately, Simon got to you before it was too late."

"They tried to kill me?-" I slowly forced myself up to sit up, "Where's Simon? Is he still here?-"

"Hey-" Alec stopped me, "Take it easy."

"Alec." I stare, "Where is he?"

"He refused to leave the premises." Alec exhales slowly, "Inquisitor Herondale had him taken down to the detention level."

I sat up quickly despite my pain and his protests, "She locked him up?"

-

"So Imogen says to lock up Simon and you just let it happen?" I confronted Jace the moment I saw him, my arms crossed, anger clearly shown.

"Zee, I tried to help Simon-" Jace stammers, "You know I wouldn't have done any of this if he hadn't broken Clave rules."

"Oh, that's rich-" I scoff lightly, blinking a few times, "Since when are you into rules?"

When Jace doesn't reply, I continued, "You know, Jace Herondale might have some kind of family name to live up to, but the Jace I grew up with would break any rule for the people he cares about-"

"People are dying." Jace stares at me, "People we've known my entire life- people we've trained with- there are no easy choices right now."

I stepped closer to him, my jaw clenched, "You threw Simon into a cell-"

Jace cut me off, "Zee- a team just found Lockheart dead."

Inquisitor a Herondale joins us, followed by two men pulling Maia along, "And we've just caught his killer."

I looked, "Maia, what's going on?"

"Lockheart was mauled by a wolf." said Inquisitor Herondale, "Ms. Roberts was found a block away, minutes after the kill."

"I was walking home from work." Maia said in her defense, "What, is that a crime now too?"

Inquisitor Herondale looked at her, "Did anyone see you walking home from work?"

"How does that make her the culprit?" I blinked a few times, putting my hands on my hips, "It's New York City- a lot of people were a block away- what made you pick her?"

She looked at me, "An hour ago, this wolf viciously attacked Jace for carrying out a Clave mandate."

"To put a tracking chip in my neck!" Maia shouts.

My head snapped toward Jace, "Hang on- what?"

"You know, I have been stopped by cops for no other reason than being black, but I thought the Shadowhunters were more evolved than that." Maia said, "Jace, I didn't do this."

"Six Shadowhunters are dead." Inquisitor Herondale looked at Jace, "Don't let your emotions cloud your judgment."

"That's a lot coming from you." I decided to call her out, "Isn't fear an emotion? Because that's all this is. I mean- tracking people because of the kind of blood they have- locking them up without recourse? That's never right- is that what the Clave stands for now?"

"Your idealism is charming, but when they wheel in the next dead Shadowhunter with their runes carved out, what will you tell their family?" Inquisitor Herondale looked at me, "What will your ideals have done for any of them?"

"Put her downstairs with the vampire." She instructs, then steps away from us, "Excuse me-"

"Jace, come on- tell her to stop." I said to him, "You know this is wrong- so are you going to pull through for me or are you going to keep living up to that expectation?"

"I'm needed in Idris." Inquisitor Herondale joined us before Jace could reply, "The Institute is in your hands now, Jace- make me proud."

"Zee- I'm sorry- but, there's no perfect way to do this." Jace quietly said to me when she walked away from us, "I'm doing my best."

"You know, not too long ago, everyone thought you had demon blood." I scoffed at him, before walking away, "If you weren't a Herondale, she'd be locking you up, too."

-

"No- but, I've realized that being a Daylighter is like, totally overrated." I heard Simon say later that day when Jace and I headed down, "Like, I should have got something cool, heat vision, or invisibility-"

"If only you were invisible-" Jace remarked when we walked in, the both of them getting up quickly.

"Zee!" Simon came over to me and grabbed my arms, "Are you alright? I tried to stay but- they wouldn't let me-"

"Simon, I'm fine-" I softly smiled at him, hugging his middle just to give him some sort of comfort.

"You know damn well I didn't kill anyone." Maia said to Jace when she walked over to us.

"Yeah, well, even so, I should probably let you cool out down here for that right hook you landed." Jace said, which made me hold my hand up and high five her, making Jace shoot me a look.

I cross my arms, "You probably deserved it-"

"Yeah, I did-" Jace exhaled, then looked at Maia, "I was wrong- I'm sorry."

"An apology- from you." Maia gapes at Jace, "Wow- there's a first time for everything."

-

"Hey-" I joined Clary and Simon at the Hunters Moon, looking around at the amount of people that filled the room, "What's- going on?"

"Simon- has a gig tonight-" Clary smiled proudly at her boyfriend, "He's going to sing for us-"

"This place is packed-" I looked around, to them, "You got fans?-"

"No way-" Simon looked at Maia who joined us, "Are you giving away free alcohol?-"

Maia smiles and held up the flyer, "Turns out some vampires got wind of a singer they're really into."

"See?" Clary nudges him, "Your vampire friends know a good thing when they see it-"

"Something tells me it's not all about the music." Simon mutters, as Clary pushes him away playfully and towards the stage.

"Uh, hey- Zee-" Maia's voice stopped me from following Clary to a table, as I looked back.

"I'll meet you-" I waved Clary off lightly, then looked at Maia, "What's up?-"

"This is on me-" Maia handed me a drink, softly smiling, "Thanks for standing up for me earlier."

"Thanks Maia-" I gave her a small smile, then noticed Jace walk through the door, my heart stopping at the sight of him, paying no mind to Simon's introductions.

Maia noticed this, looking back, then at me, "Someone caught your eye?"

"I- uh, no-" I cleared my throat and sat down at the island, keeping my back towards Jace.

"Look, I get it-" Maia walked around the counter, standing in front of me, "You can't help it-"

I looked at her, speaking without realizing, "If you're going to say I'm in love with Jace-"

"I didn't say Jace." Maia pointed at me, then softly smiled when fear struck on my expression, "Speak of the devil-"

"Hey-" Jace sat right next to me, making me blink and look at him, clearing my throat.

"Uh- hi-" I noticed how Maia left us alone, "You into Simon's music just as much as I am or are you here on business?"

Jace purses his lips, then showed me the device, "Business- I'm going to remove the chip."

I stared at him for a few moments, my expression softening, "I'm glad you're back."

Jace teases me, "Was I ever gone?"

"To- yourself, I mean-" I clear my throat, sitting up, "I didn't really like Jace Herondale."

"I didn't like him either." Jace sighed through his nose, his eyes glued to mine, "I'm sorry- I didn't come to my senses sooner."

"As long as you're back now-" I purse my lips, then lightly push him away from me, "Go- do your job."

"Yeah- yeah, you're right." Jace nodded lightly, before sighing again and leaving me alone.

-

"Zee- hey," Jace's voice sounded from behind me after I stepped out to the back, wanting to be away from all commotion.

Everyone was happy.

But, god I wasn't.

My heart stopped at the sound of his voice, slowly whipping around to look at him, "Hey- uhm, hi-"

"Look," Jace stopped in front of me, sighing quietly, "We should talk- about-"

I cut him off, "I don't want to talk."

"Why not, Zee?" Jace stares at me, huffing, "I mean- I'm trying to get through to you- I'm trying to- figure out what this is-"

"I don't know what this is-" I crossed my arms and took a step back, "And I don't want to find out, either."

"Zee- come on," Jace tried, taking a step closer to me, "You can't deny that there's something between us."

"Jace- look, I can't deny that we had some fun- that's all it was." My heart ached at the words that came out of my mouth, "Fun."

This was the best for the both of us.

I could get over it.

I could do it.

Or so I thought.

"That's all- that's all this was to you?" Jace stared at me, his voice quieting, "It wasn't- just fun to me-"

"Look, I thought- for about this for a while- and this is how I feel." I swallowed hard, "I just- I didn't want to talk because- I was trying to find the right words- so I didn't hurt you."

Jace stammered, "You don't- feel the same?"

I inhale sharply, "No, I don't."

Jace reaches, grabbing my face, pressing his lips into mine delicately, my heart leaping when he does, almost instantly kissing back.

"You just kissed me back." Jace slowly pulled away, his face close to mine, looking right into my eyes.

I sigh, "Jace-"

"Alright, alright- look-" Jace didn't move, his voice low and vulnerable, "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel anything for me- then- I'll quit- I'll leave you alone."

I swallow hard, "That easy?"

"That easy." Jace lightly nodded, his voice falling into a whisper, "Do you feel anything for me?"

My voice matched his, "Nothing."

Jace swallowed hard, dropping his hands from my face, before taking a few steps back from me, clearing his throat.

I watched him as he nodded just lightly, letting out a shaky breath, slowly turning his back towards me, leaving me alone.

The moment he was out of sight, I covered my mouth, tears streaming down my cheeks.

authors note:

sucky chapter, my apologies

it will get better eventually, i promise

not that it matters tho since no one really reads this anyways ahaksnakfbsnfhsf

ANYWAYS

thank you for 21k !

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