i've been in a slump, guys. but please enjoy this long chapter <3 hopefully i can start regularly updating again soon!
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By the end of the night, (Y/N) had listened to The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars all the way through three times. After she and Harry finished it, they began the album again. Hermione, Ron, and the others returned halfway through, and Dean – who loved David Bowie already – insisted that they join them. When it finished, Neville had asked them to play it again, since he missed the first half, and no one seemed to mind.

Between Seamus and Neville, there'd been enough sweets to keep everyone busy, and when they ran out of those, Harry and Ron threw on the invisibility cloak to sneak down to the kitchens for more snacks. Hermione sat on the floor surrounded by books and parchment, but even she was tapping her foot as she worked through her assignments. The third time Starman played, Dean and (Y/N) stood on his bed shouting along to the chorus. Everyone else had joined in by the end of it.

It was how they spent their night: sat up in the boys' dormitory, eating sweets, sharing stories, and learning all about Ziggy Stardust.

It was the best night (Y/N) ever had.

She left breakfast fifteen minutes early the next morning to return the record to Professor Lupin. She was relieved when she arrived at his classroom and found him copying notes onto the board inside; there would be no Snape in Defense Against the Dark Arts that day. All was right.

She knocked twice on the doorframe. "Professor?"

He turned, and upon seeing her smiled. "Good morning," He set down his piece of chalk as he beckoned her inside. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I've just come to return this." She placed Ziggy Stardust on his desk, feeling suddenly nervous. She'd come so early in hopes that they'd be able to talk more about her mother, but then, the words got caught in her throat.

"Finished already?" Professor Lupin didn't seem to notice. "How'd you like it?"

"It was really good. My favorite's Suffragette City, though." It had been the loudest and messiest-sounding one, and she knew it would drive Lucius Malfoy crazy. "Lady Stardust is close, too."

"Ah, Lady Stardust – that's my favorite." He smiled. "Excellent choice,"

(Y/N) watched him organize his notes, trying to find something to say. Then, all at once, she blurted, "Do you know what my mum's was?"

Lupin turned. "Her favorite song?"

(Y/N) nodded, feeling embarrassed.

He didn't tease her, which she half-expected. He only answered, "Starman. And she'd never let us forget it." His laugh was fond and he smiled, mostly to himself.

(Y/N) thought of the night before, shouting the song with Dean, and Seamus spreading his arms wide as he bellowed what words he could remember. She remembered when Ron pulled himself up on his own bed to shout with them, and how brightly Hermione had laughed, for once forgetting her workload. Neville had hurried over to the record player to turn it up louder, grinning all the way. And, when she hopped off Dean's bed to dance and shout with Harry, she'd never seen someone look so content.

She wanted to ask if Lupin had shared nights like those with her mother. She wanted to know how they danced to Starman; if they jumped on beds and shouted until their voices went hoarse. She was too embarrassed to ask – she still wasn't sure if she was allowed to. After all, Professor Lupin had looked quite sad last time they spoke about her.

She wondered just who she was to him.

Good friends, he'd said.

"If you'd like, I have a few more records we listened to upstairs. I can lend them to you."

"Are you sure that's okay?" (Y/N) asked.

"It's the least I can do." Lupin checked the time just as a couple Slytherin girls arrived. "We'll talk after class."

The lesson Lupin prepared that day was on Hinkypunks — tiny little creatures made of nothing but smoke that stood on one leg.

"Lures travelers into bogs," Lupin said. "You notice the lanterns dangling from her head? Hops ahead – people follow the light – then—"

The Hinkypunk made a terrible screeching noise from inside her box.

When the lesson ended, Lupin had given (Y/N) a copy of Abbey Road. She tucked it safely in her bag and hurried off to potions; she did not want to be late when she was already on Snape's bad side.

She got there with plenty of time to spare, but Snape was still furious anyway. He took special care of watching (Y/N) all throughout the lesson. He spent most of the period correcting her on the minorest of details – and it was driving her mad.

"The instructions say to finely crush the ingredients, (L/N). Was this your attempt?" He smiled cruelly. "Better start again. And go throw those out."

She had half a mind to dump her crushed Billywig Stings into her cauldron, anyway; they were fine enough and she was running low. But with Snape standing over her shoulder, she decided it wasn't worth the risk – not unless she wanted another detention.

"How're mine, Professor?" Harry had asked a few minutes later.

Snape glared at him down his long nose and cast his disapproving gaze upon his work. "Surprisingly acceptable," was all he said, but (Y/N) could tell he hated almost giving a compliment.

"Oh, good," said Harry, splitting his pile in half. "I've done too many. Here, (Y/N). You can take mine."

She smiled as he pushed them towards her. "Thanks,"

But Snape's face had twisted into a mean scowl. Before he could say anything, there was a loud pop a few tables over. Seamus' potion had exploded again, and he had to deal with that first.

(Y/N) hurried to dump them into her cauldron before he could tell her to begin again.

Lucky for them (and not so lucky for Seamus), it took Snape the rest of the period to get everything under control. Still, (Y/N) had spent so much time crushing Billywig Stings that she barely managed to give her brew it's final three stirs when it was time to go. As soon as she was finished, she gathered her things and headed for the exit before Snape could say anything else.

Hermione must've noticed that she was still annoyed; as soon as they were out the door she said, "Don't pay him any attention. Everyone knows Potions is what you're best at. He's just giving you a hard time because he knows it, too."

It had made her feel a bit better.

"Yeah," said Ron. "And poor Neville can finally get a break."

Fortunately for Neville, and quite unfortunately for (Y/N), Snape had it out for her throughout the next coming weeks. When (Y/N)'s marks finally started to slip, she found herself hoping someone else would do something to tick him off just so he'd leave her alone.

It was made worse by Professor Lupin's awful new habit of falling ill at the end of every month. When he was out, Snape filled in, so (Y/N) would have the misfortune of seeing him twice a day until Lupin returned. On those days, Gryffindor always lost twice as many house points.

Harry usually tried to defend her, but that meant more points would be taken away. Very quickly the students learned to be annoyed with Snape in private.

Professor Trelawney had gotten no better either, which meant Parvati and Lavender had only gotten worse. One day, Harry was late to class and Lavender to burst into tears when Trelawney was taking role.

"Oh, I just know something's happened, Professor!" she wailed. "I had an awful feeling this morning!"

Parvati, who looked on the verge of tears herself, turned around to the table where (Y/N) and Hermione were sitting. "You two haven't seen him, have you?"

"He's right there." (Y/N) pointed at the door where the very bewildered looking boy walked in. Ron was trailing behind him, but neither Parvati nor Lavender had seemed to notice he'd been missing, too.

When Ron explained they were late because they were just looking for Scabbers, (Y/N) had hoped that it would be enough to embarrass the girls into leaving Harry alone. However, at the end of class, both of them had rushed up to hug him, and spent the entire walk to Care for Magical Creatures telling him how glad they were he was alright.

(Y/N) had been irritable for the rest of the day.

If anything good had come of the passing weeks, it was Ravenclaw defeating Hufflepuff in their Quidditch match at the end of November. It was good news for the Gryffindor team, for it meant they still had a good shot at the Quidditch Cup — so long as they didn't lose another match.

It put Wood in better spirits, which meant more gruesome practices. (Y/N) was just glad to see him back to his usual self after Fred suggested he was trying to drown himself in the showers.

Even better news came with the announcement that the last weekend of term would have another trip into Hogsmeade. (Y/N), Harry, and Ron devised a plan so Harry could go with them that involved the Invisibility Cloak and a bit of luck. They knew better than to tell Hermione about it; she was very adamant about Harry staying in the castle with Black still on the loose. But they also knew she wouldn't send him back once he got all the way to the village.

On the day of the Hogsmeade trip, (Y/N) stood on the corner outside Honeydukes. Ron had gone ahead with Hermione to the Shrieking Shack, and (Y/N) snuck away by saying Seamus and Dean had asked to spend the trip with her. It had been about an hour since they arrived and there was still no sign of Harry.

She decided to do some shopping for the upcoming holiday. As always, Ron was easy – a few of his favorite sweets from Honeydukes and he'd be set. Dean was easy, too; his sketchbook was running out of pages, so (Y/N) got him a new one and a set of colorful pencils to draw with. She was just about to head into Zonko's to find something for Seamus when she spotted a bright red lollipop floating down the street.

She hurried after it at once. Then, once she was close enough, she called out "Harry?"

The lollipop stopped.

(Y/N) beamed. "Follow me," she said quietly. "And give me that, you're giving yourself away."

She brought him to a scarcely visited alleyway where he shrugged off his cloak with a bright grin. The cloak had ruffled his hair – (Y/N) quite liked the way it looked – and his cheeks were already pink from the cold. She hoped he thought hers were pink for the same reason.

"I'm glad you found me," he folded the cloak over his arm. In his right hand, Harry held an old folded piece of parchment that he held out to her. "Look what I've just got." He touched his wand to the parchment and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

She had wanted to tease him, but she saw the ink slowly emerge on the parchment. Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, & Prongs, it read, are proud to present the Marauder's Map.

"What is this?" (Y/N) couldn't help but remember what Mr. Weasley said the year prior about trusting enchanted objects, and he'd been right. They already had their fair share of things that could think for themselves and (Y/N) thought it would do them some good to stay away from any more.

Harry seemed more amused by her wariness than anything else. "Open it and see!"

She had wanted to say no, but she never could when he was grinning at her like that. So, carefully, (Y/N) unfolded the old parchment to get a look.

And, she'd been so impressed that she forgot about her worry altogether.

The Marauder's Map was a detailed drawing of the Hogwarts corridors. The ink staircases moved in time with those in the castle. But what really amazed her were the little ink footprints that walked across the page; the students and staff of the school.

"Where did you find this?"

"Fred and George gave it to me; said they got it from Filch's office." He pointed to a statue on the map. "See this? It's how I got here. There's a passage behind it."

"Secret passages?" (Y/N) marveled. "With your cloak and this map—"

"We could go anywhere we want," he nodded eagerly.

"We won't have to wait for Hogsmeade weekends, either." She folded up the map and gave it back to him. "Let's go find Hermione and Ron. They'll want to know about this—"

"Actually I thought—" Harry stopped, looking very surprised with himself. His face had gone red and he kept his eyes on the snow. "I thought maybe we could see what's around here, first."

(Y/N) blinked. "Oh, right." The suggestion startled her, though she figured she shouldn't think much of it. After all, they'd planned to spend the entire day together in Diagon Alley over the Summer; one afternoon in Hogsmeade was nothing. And he'd said it himself weeks ago, that she was his best friend.

Friends could spend time alone, (Y/N) told herself. How many afternoons had she spent studying with Hermione or playing Wizard's Chess with Ron?

Harry was looking quite embarrassed. "If you'd rather find them—"

"Oh, no! No, it's okay," she insisted. "Er, yes, let's look around here. Honeydukes is a good place to start."

So they set off. Harry had been just as overwhelmed by everything inside the shop as (Y/N) expected. He got two scoops of Every Flavor Beans, a couple pieces of homemade fudge, four packs of chocolate frogs, and two chocolate wands for (Y/N). He had offered to get her more, but she wouldn't let him; two was plenty.

They tried going for butterbeers next, but it was closed for underaged wizards that day, so they went to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop instead. It had been a mistake; Lavender, Parvati, and Padma were crowded around a frilly pink table and waved them over eagerly.

Harry had hoped they could ignore them ("Just pretend you didn't see,") but it was no use. The girls had been trying to get (Y/N) to spend a Hogsmeade weekend with them since the very first one.

"(Y/N)!" Parvati called. "Come on over, we'll pull up a chair!"

It was better to speak to them; people were already starting to look and (Y/N) worried someone might tattle on Harry. She waved, and Harry groaned.

They were sitting in a far corner where the perfume was heaviest. Each of them had a cup of warm tea and between them, a large plate of biscuits.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" Lavender asked. "I thought your form wasn't signed?"

He took the empty seat in between Padma and her sister. "It isn't," he said shortly.

Lavender gasped and dropped her voice to a whisper as (Y/N) sat beside her. "Ooh, you snuck out here? What if you get caught?"

"We haven't yet," said (Y/N).

Parvati sat up tall and raised her tea cup to her lips with a sense of maturity. "Still, you ought to be careful. You remember what Trelawney said, don't you? And wasn't Black seen in the next town over?"

"That was weeks ago," Padma tried. "I'm sure he's gone off somewhere else, now." She smiled at (Y/N) and Harry, passing them a menu. "Thirsty?"

"Maybe," said Parvati. "But I still think he should be careful. Anything could happen."

Harry sent (Y/N) a tired look across the table. "Why don't we talk about something else?" she tried. "Do you have any fun plans for the holiday?"

Lavender beamed. "I'm visiting some family in the country. There's a cute Muggle boy called Michael there, and I think he fancies me."

"She's only been on about him this whole week," Parvati teased.

"Well, of course! If I manage this right, he can be my boyfriend." She sat up straighter, grinning brightly at (Y/N). "I'll be a new woman. We're at that age, you know? Mum told me. Boys are going to start paying more attention to us."

(Y/N) hummed. She had wanted to ask the Patil twins what they'd be doing over the holiday next, but —

"I think a Ravenclaw fancies Padma," Lavender said importantly.

Her face went scarlet. "What? Who?"

"Anthony Goldstein! He's always looking at you in class!" she said, and Parvati was nodding along eagerly. "Oh! And (Y/N) you'll never guess! You know Cedric Diggory? The Hufflepuff Seeker?"

"Yeah?"

"Ooh, Parvati, you tell her!"

"Well, Susan Bones – you know Susan? – well, she told me that she overheard some sixth-years whispering. Apparently, Diggory fancies someone on the Gryffindor Quidditch team."

"Oh," (Y/N) nodded, trying hard to look interested.

"Oh?" Lavender repeated and Padma giggled. "We wouldn't be telling you unless we thought the person he fancied was you!"

It had caught her completely off guard. "Me?" She and Diggory hadn't so much as said hello to each other. In fact, the closest thing they had to a conversation was one shared look during the Quidditch match months ago.

"Why d'you say that?" Harry suddenly asked.

The girls giggled, but (Y/N) felt clueless.

"Well, Diggory is quite handsome. Everyone thinks so," said Parvati, tossing her thick black hair over her shoulder. "And (Y/N)'s quite pretty, isn't she?"

"Besides, no one was whispering about Diggory liking anyone on the Gryffindor team until after (Y/N) joined," Padma said, covering her mouth with her hand. "I think they'd be cute."

(Y/N)'s face went scarlet. "I don't know him,"

"You can get to know him!" Lavender squealed and clapped her hands. "Maybe we'll both have boyfriends by the end of the year!"

(Y/N) looked to Harry for help, but he'd slumped down in his chair, looking just as miserable as she felt.

They were able to escape ten minutes later after (Y/N) said they'd promised to meet Dean, Seamus, and Neville at Zonko's. The girls bid them farewell and Parvati reminded Harry once again to be careful.

"Let's never do that again," he grumbled when they were out the door.

(Y/N) had no protests. She could still smell the perfume from the tea shop on her coat.

They ran into Hermione and Ron not long after.

"I was wondering when you two would show up!" Said Ron. "Where were you?"

"We got trapped at Madam Puddifoot's," Harry said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Ron frowned. "What were you doing there?"

"Lavender and the Patil twins wanted a chat," said (Y/N). "What've you guys been up to?"

Hermione explained they were visiting the Shrieking Shack until Draco came to start trouble. They had come back to find them, after.

The four of them were trying to decide what to do next when Hermione looked up and nudged (Y/N)'s shoulder.

"Oh, look, it's Madam Rosmerta!" she giggled, and (Y/N) felt herself grin. "Ron fancies her," she told Harry.

"I do not!" he insisted.

The girls had kept up the joke after Ron had gone scarlet twice when Rosmerta asked him if he'd like a refill. He could barely sputter out his answer, then. Dean and Seamus had started it, as they were apt to do, but (Y/N) and Hermione were just as bad as them. They couldn't see Madam Rosmerta without teasing Ron for it.

"Oh, Rosmerta, dear!" said a little stout man climbing down from his carriage. (Y/N) recognized him straightaway by the lime green bowler hat he wore atop his head; it was the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge. "I hope business is good!"

Madam Rosmerta frowned and pointed the hammer she was using to nail up a sign at him. "It'd be a lot better if the Ministry wasn't sending dementors into my pub every other night!"

Fudge gave a nervous chuckle and cast a nervous glance toward Professor McGonagall, who'd just arrived with Hagrid. "We have," he began, looking around. "We have a killer on the loose."

"Sirius Black in Hogsmeade!" Madam Rosmerta laughed loudly. "And what would bring him here?"

Fudge leaned in to whisper something.

"Harry Potter?"

"Shh!" McGonagall quickly ushered her inside and Fudge was fast to follow.

(Y/N) had known that Black coming after Harry had been a possibility all the time, but hearing the Minister himself confirming it made it feel as if she'd swallowed led. It was no longer just a worry, it was a fact, and it scared poor (Y/N) to no end.

She turned to see how Harry was taking the news – after all, he was the one in danger – but he was gone. Hermione had noticed, too. She was already hurrying after his footprints in the snow, calling after him.

"Harry!"

But he was already inside, and since the pub was closed to underaged wizards, without the Invisibility Cloak, (Y/N), Hermione, and Ron were without a way in.

"Oh, what a ridiculous rule!" (Y/N) exclaimed soon after they were shooed outside.

"It's okay," Hermione assured her. "Even if we could get in, they're probably talking somewhere private, anyway. Harry will tell us everything as soon as he knows."

(Y/N) knew she was right, but she still couldn't help but worry. She took a seat on a nearby bench. "I guess it's a good thing Fred and George gave him that map,"

Ron sat beside her. "What map?"

"The Marauder's Map." (Y/N) had forgotten they didn't know. "It shows where everyone is in the castle."

"Those weasels!" he said. "Never told me about any Marauder's Map."

"It sounds dangerous." Hermione furrowed her brows. "He should turn it in to McGonagall."

(Y/N) slid over so Hermione could sit, too. "No, he shouldn't. If we have the map, at least we'll know if Black is coming."

It scared her to think that way, but she knew it was better to be prepared. Though they were likely no match for Black, it didn't matter to her – any chance they had at keeping each other safe, she'd take.

The door to the pub swung open and a set of footprints appeared in the snow.

She'd risen in an instant. "Harry?" (Y/N) called.

But he walked past without a word. (Y/N) could have sworn she heard sniffing.

She hurried after him, Hermione and Ron right behind her. They passed through the choir Harry had knocked over, muttering quick sorrys and excuse mes. They hurried past the cozy shop windows, into the surrounding woods, and then finally into a clearing where the footprints stopped.

"Harry?" said (Y/N) as carefully as she could.

But Hermione had already found him and was crouching in front of a large rock. She reached up towards what looked like nothing and pulled the cloak away.

Harry sat in front of her with pink cheeks and a red nose.

It was the first time (Y/N) had ever seen him cry. It made her stomach twist in knots.

"Harry, what happened?" Hermione asked gently.

"He was their friend," he said, voice trembling. "And he betrayed them. He was their friend!"

(Y/N) couldn't say anything. Suddenly, she'd felt like crying, too.

If Black was friends with James, it must've meant he was friends with her mother – and he'd killed her by his own hand. She felt sick; dizzy, and she pulled her arms close around her.

Ron had only glanced in her direction, looking quite concerned, when Harry said, "I hope he finds me because when he does, I'm gonna be ready." He held all their gazes. His eyes, though tearful, were wide with rage. "When he does, I'm gonna kill him!"