lxii. SMITTEN.
March 7, 2018. | Third Person POV.
Los Angeles, California.

The sun streamed through the blinds, casting soft golden rays across the bedroom as Sedona stirred, her body slowly waking from the deep, restful sleep she desperately needed. She rolled over, burying her face in the pillow and inhaling the familiar scent of lavender and vanilla. For a brief, blissful moment, she forgot about the jet lag, the hectic tour schedule, and the constant demands on her time. 

She was home. 

Sedona groaned as she buried herself deeper under the covers, her head lightly throbbing from last night's reckless decision. She had no one to blame but herself. What the hell had possessed her to drink almost an entire bottle of wine by herself? She'd originally planned to keep it as a souvenir—something cute to commemorate the ending of the tour. Now, the only thing she had to show for it was a headache and a slightly stained glass on her nightstand.

She rolled over and checked her phone, squinting at the bright screen. It was already past noon. Her body ached with lethargy, but she knew she couldn't stay in bed all day.

With a groan, she stretched out her limbs, her body aching pleasantly from last night's impromptu dance session. A satisfied smirk played on her lips as she remembered the way she'd moved—graceful, powerful, in control. It was like riding a bike; her body hadn't missed a beat. 

Pushing herself up, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her bare feet sinking into the plush carpet. She padded over to the window, pulling the blinds open and letting the sunlight fully flood the room. It was a beautiful day in Los Angeles—the kind of day that made her fall in love with the city all over again.

Eventually with a turn, she shuffled towards the bathroom. Her reflection in the mirror was decent—sleep in her eyes, a yawn threatening to come out. "Good morning to me," She muttered, reaching for her toothbrush.

The warm shower was exactly what she needed, the water cascading over her tense muscles, washing away the remnants of her hangover. She took her time, lathering her favorite vanilla-scented body wash and letting the steam clear her foggy head. Her daily skincare routine followed—cleanser, toner, moisturizer. By the time she finished, she felt a little more like herself again.

Wrapped in a plush robe, Sedona padded downstairs, her bare feet cool against the hardwood floors. She made her way to the kitchen, scanning the fridge before deciding she was in no mood to cook. She reached for the takeout leftovers from yesterday, heating them up while she aimlessly looked around her living room.

Her eyes narrowed as she took in the arrangement. Something about it felt... off. The couch could be shifted a little to the left, maybe? And the coffee table... it could use a pop of color. Her gaze drifted to the award cabinet, the shelves lined with gleaming trophies and plaques. It was organized, sure, but it felt more like a display than a part of her home.

Sedona took a bite of her reheated noodles, chewing thoughtfully. Maybe it was time to rearrange some things. She'd been toying with the idea of incorporating more cherry red accents—something to make the space feel warmer, more inviting. And the award cabinet could definitely use a more personal touch.

Decision made, she turned on the TV and queued up Deliver Us From Eva for some background noise. As the opening credits rolled, she got to work.

First, the couch. She pushed it slightly to the left, stepping back to see the effect. Better. The coffee table was next, and she added a cherry red vase she'd bought on a whim but never used. She filled it with fresh flowers, the vibrant petals brightening the space instantly.

Her eyes fell on the plush throw blankets folded neatly in the corner. She grabbed one in a deep crimson shade, draping it over the armrest to tie the color scheme together.

Satisfied with the seating area, she moved on to the award cabinet. Sedona opened the glass doors, carefully taking out each trophy and plaque. She dusted them off, smiling fondly at the memories each one represented. But as she held them, she can't help but realize how much she's overcome to be where she was now.

Stepping back, she admired the new setup. It was subtle, but the changes made a big difference. The room felt cozier, warmer, more... her.

On the screen, LL Cool J was charming Gabrielle Union, his smooth delivery drawing a laugh from Sedona. She curled up on the couch, feeling a sense of contentment wash over her. Today was a good day—a quiet, peaceful day just for herself.

And as she watched the movie, surrounded by the newly rearranged space, Sedona couldn't help but feel a sense of renewal, like she'd done more than just redecorate her living room. She'd reclaimed a piece of herself.

As the credits rolled on Deliver Us From Eva, Sedona's stomach grumbled, breaking the serene atmosphere she'd created. She glanced at the empty takeout container on the coffee table, frowning at the pitiful remnants of what was once a satisfying meal.

With a sigh, she got up and made her way to the kitchen, opening the fridge only to be greeted by a dismal sight—nothing. If only food could magically appear.

She closed the fridge door and leaned against the counter, rubbing her face in exasperation. How did she let herself run out of food? She knew she needed to do better, especially with her erratic schedule.

Her stomach growled again, more insistently this time. She huffed, knowing there was no way around it. She'd have to make a grocery run.

A quick change later, she found herself sliding into a pair of black leggings, an oversized hoodie, and some comfortable sneakers. She grabbed her keys and purse, tying her hair back into a messy bun before heading out the door. Target was the closest option, and she wasn't in the mood to go anywhere else.

The drive was quick, the streets quiet in the late afternoon. As she pulled into the parking lot, Sedona took a moment to mentally list what she needed—groceries, definitely. Maybe some snacks. And since she was at Target, she might as well browse the home decor section, just in case she found more cherry red accents to match her newly rearranged living room.

Walking through the automatic doors, she was immediately hit with the familiar smell of popcorn from the snack stand. Her mouth watered, but she resisted the temptation, heading straight for the grocery aisles.

She maneuvered her cart with purpose, grabbing essentials—fruits, vegetables, bread, eggs, and a few frozen meals for lazy days. She hesitated in the snack aisle, ultimately giving in and tossing a bag of hot chips into the cart. They were her guilty pleasure, after all.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she pulled it out, seeing a text from Monica: "Hey girl, you alive? Haven't heard from you all day."

Sedona chuckled, typing back, "Barely. Blame the wine." She added a laughing emoji before slipping her phone back into her pocket.

After grabbing a few more necessities, she headed to the home decor section, her eyes immediately drawn to a set of cherry red candles. Perfect. She added them to her cart, imagining how they'd look on her coffee table.

Satisfied with her haul, she made her way to the self-checkout, scanning each item with ease. She bagged everything up, balancing the paper bags in her arms as she made her way back to her car.

The drive home was quiet, the city's golden hour glow illuminating the streets. Sedona hummed along to the radio, her mood lighter now that she'd been productive.

Back home, she set the bags on the kitchen counter, unpacking everything and putting the groceries away. She placed the cherry red candles on the coffee table, lighting one to test the scent. It filled the room with a warm, inviting aroma that made her smile.

After putting everything in its place, she made herself a quick sandwich, taking her plate to the couch. She curled up with her snack, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction as she looked around her newly revamped living room.

It was a small change, but it made her feel more settled, more at home. And for the first time in a while, Sedona felt at peace.

—

Sedona rested on the couch, eyes half-watching the familiar scenes of The Wood play out on the screen. She mouthed the lines without thinking, having seen the movie more times than she could count. Yet today, even nostalgia wasn't enough to shake the growing restlessness within her.

Sedona rested on the couch, eyes half-watching the familiar scenes of The Wood play out on the screen. She mouthed the lines without thinking, having seen the movie more times than she could count. Yet today, even nostalgia wasn't enough to shake the growing restlessness within her. 

Her mind wandered, floating somewhere between the quiet of her living room and the noise of her recent tour. The tour seemed like a fever dream—long flights, crowded venues, and, of course, the disastrous food poisoning incident in Paris. She'd laugh about it one day, but right now, the memory still made her cringe. 

A soft knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts. She sat up, brows knitting in confusion. She wasn't expecting anyone. The only person who'd show up unannounced was Kendrick, and he'd usually text first—or just use the key she'd given him. 

She stood, tightening the belt of her robe around her waist as she approached the door. A quick glance through the peephole revealed a bright smile and a head full of curls. Sedona blinked, then opened the door. 

"I missed you!!!" SZA's voice filled the hallway, her arms raised triumphantly as she held up several takeout bags. "And since you're back from the tour, I'm here to bother you." 

A genuine smile broke across Sedona's face as she stepped aside, letting her friend in. "Girl, you should've called! I look a mess." 

SZA waved her off, setting the bags on the kitchen counter. "Please. You look fine. Better than fine, actually. You're glowing, Miss I-Just-Got-Back-From-Touring-the-World." 

Sedona chuckled, closing the door behind her. "I don't know about all that. Jet lag is kicking my ass." 

"Jet lag or Kendrick?" SZA teased, her eyes glinting mischievously. 

Sedona rolled her eyes. "You play too much." 

"Mm-hmm." SZA began unpacking the bags, filling the counter with an assortment of takeout containers. "I brought all your favorites. Figured you'd be too tired to cook." 

"You figured right," Sedona admitted, peeking into the containers. The smell of Chinese food filled the air, making her stomach rumble. "You're a lifesaver." 

The two settled in the living room, balancing plates on their laps as they ate. The conversation flowed naturally, SZA asking all about the tour—the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. Sedona recounted the packed shows, the electrifying energy of the crowds, and the unfortunate bout of food poisoning in Paris. 

"I swear, I thought I was gonna die," Sedona said, shaking her head as she picked at her pad thai. "I was laid out in that hotel room, looking at Kendrick like, 'Just let me go.'" 

SZA burst into laughter, nearly spilling her food. "Not 'just let me go!' Girl, you're so dramatic." 

"I mean it!" Sedona insisted, a smile breaking through. "He was being all sweet, making sure I had water and crackers, but I was over it. I didn't want to see food ever again." 

"But now look at you," SZA said, gesturing to their spread. "Back on your feet and eating good." 

Sedona nodded, a soft hum of agreement escaping her lips. "Yeah... It feels good to be home. Just keep oysters away from me."

SZA's expression shifted, her voice dropping to a more curious tone. "So... how's everything else going? You and Kendrick, huh?" 

Sedona hesitated, her fork pausing mid-air. "Yeah... me and Kendrick." 

SZA leaned forward, eyes wide with delight. "Okay, spill! I need details. You guys are official-official now, right?" 

Sedona bit her lip, a shy smile creeping onto her face. "Yeah. It's... it's good. Better than I expected, honestly." 

"I bet," SZA said with a wink. "I've seen how he looks at you. That man is smitten." 

Sedona chuckled, warmth spreading through her chest. "He's... yeah. He's something else." 

SZA tilted her head, studying her friend closely. "You love him, don't you?" 

The question hung in the air, soft but heavy. Sedona's eyes widened, and for a moment, she couldn't find her voice. "I... I do," She finally admitted. "I said it, too." 

SZA's jaw dropped. "You said the L-word? Sedona! Oh my God!" 

Sedona laughed, hiding her face in her hands. "He asked, and it just... came out. I wasn't even thinking about it. But once I said it, I knew it was true." 

SZA all but squealed, clutching a throw pillow to her chest. "I'm so happy for you! I never thought I'd see the day. Little Miss 'I Don't Do Feelings' out here in love." 

"Okay, okay, relax," Sedona said, though she couldn't stop grinning. "You're making it a bigger deal than it is." 

"No, girl. It's a big deal. I know you. You don't say 'I love you' unless you mean it." 

Sedona nodded, her expression softening. "Yeah. I mean it." 

They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, both of them basking in the warmth of the revelation. 

Eventually, SZA sat up, her expression brightening with a new idea. "Speaking of love, I was gonna ask—do you want to make a cameo in my new music video?" 

Sedona's eyes widened. "For what song?" 

"Broken Clocks," SZA said, practically bouncing with excitement. "I think you'd be perfect. I want the video to feel real, authentic, and having you in it would be dope." 

Sedona hesitated, the idea both thrilling and nerve-wracking. "I mean... I'd love to. As long as I'm not messing up your vision." 

"Messing it up?" SZA scoffed. "Girl, please. You'd elevate it. Say yes!" 

Sedona laughed, unable to resist her friend's enthusiasm. "Alright, alright. Yes. I'm in." 

Sedona eventually leaned back against the couch, her legs curled beneath her as she nursed the last of her sparkling water. "In all honesty, I've never felt like this before. It's weird. Like... I wake up thinking about him. He makes me laugh, like actually laugh, and not just to be polite or because it's expected. I feel... safe with him."

SZA's eyes softened as she listened, her head tilted in that attentive, sisterly way she had. "That sounds like the real deal," She said, her voice gentle but firm. "You deserve that, Syd. Especially after all the shit you went through before."

Sedona's smile wavered, her fingers absently picking at a stray thread on her leggings. "Yeah... I didn't realize how unhappy I was until now. I mean, I knew I was settling. I just didn't know how much until I finally got a taste of what it feels like to be genuinely happy." She let out a breath, almost as if she were releasing the weight of the past from her chest.

"Even if it is the honeymoon phase?" SZA teased, her eyes twinkling with playful curiosity.

Sedona shrugged, her lips curving into a small, thoughtful smile. "Even then. But this feels different. It's not just butterflies and eventually jumping each others bones. It's... comfort. Peace. Like I can breathe, you know? We talk about everything—no bullshit, no holding back. And he's just... there. Really there." Her eyes grew distant, lost in the memory of Kendrick's steady gaze, the way his arms felt around her, how his laughter seemed to echo long after he was gone.

"Happiness looks amazing on you," SZA said, her tone softening with genuine affection. "And honestly? Fuck that nigga Marco. You gave him five years of your life, and he didn't know what to do with it. His loss."

Sedona's head fell back as she let out a laugh that was more relief than amusement. "Right? I look back now, and I don't even recognize that version of me. I was just... existing. Going through the motions, trying to convince myself that what I was getting was enough." She paused, shaking her head. "I don't even know how I did it for that long. But I'm grateful, you know? Because now I see the difference. I feel the difference."

SZA's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Speaking of him—whatever happened to that man? Besides the whole collab you got with him."

Sedona rolled her eyes, her expression instantly cooling. "I don't even check for that song, nor care to, unless the label feels like I do. Last time I checked... shit, I don't even know."

They stared at each other for a beat before bursting into laughter, the sound echoing off the walls of Sedona's newly rearranged living room. It was the kind of laughter that came from relief, from finally letting go of old burdens and embracing the present.

"That's how you know you're really over someone," SZA said, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "When you don't even know what they're doing, and you don't care to find out."

Sedona grinned, her shoulders relaxing as she sank further into the couch. "Exactly. I've moved on, like really moved on. And I'm not looking back."

SZA's smile softened, her eyes full of pride. "I'm happy for you, Syd. Like truly. Really. You deserve this. Every bit of it."

Sedona felt a familiar warmth spread through her chest, the kind that came from genuine love and support. She hadn't realized how much she needed this, this night of laughter and heart-to-heart conversations.

"Thanks, Solana," She whispered, her voice thick with gratitude. "I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I'm not taking any of it for granted."

"You better not," SZA teased, nudging her playfully. "Especially since you're all booed up now. Kendrick, huh? Out of all people?"

Sedona's cheeks flushed, her mind replaying memories of his smile, his touch, the way he looked at her like she was the only woman in the room. "Yeah... him out of all people. Who would've thought?"

SZA shook her head, her curls bouncing with the movement. "I still can't believe it. But it makes sense, in a weird way. Y'all balance each other out. It's cute."

Sedona let out a laugh, the sound light and genuine.

Sedona let out a laugh, the sound light and genuine. "We go together real bad. Our personalities are different yet make sense at the same time." 

"That's a good man, Savannah... a good man," SZA recited in her best voice, her eyes wide with exaggerated sincerity. 

Sedona burst into laughter, nearly doubling over as she hugged a throw pillow to her chest. "You did not just hit me with the Waiting to Exhale line!" 

SZA grinned, her shoulders shaking as she laughed along. "Had to. It's only right." She sobered, her expression softening. "But seriously... I love this for you. He seems like he really cares about you." 

"That he does," Sedona said, her voice growing quiet as her thoughts drifted back to Kendrick. "He listens. He remembers the little things. It's different with him... good different." 

SZA studied her for a moment, her eyes narrowing in curiosity. "So... nobody knows? Not even your mom?" 

Sedona shook her head, a small, almost mischievous smile playing on her lips. "No. We've been trying to keep things lowkey. It's... nice, you know? Having something that's just ours. No outside opinions, no pressure. Just... us." 

"I get that," SZA agreed, her voice thoughtful. "People ruin good things with their opinions sometimes. But... you see this going somewhere, don't you?" 

Sedona hesitated, her fingers tracing invisible patterns on the pillow in her lap. "Yeah... I do. I'd love to meet his family someday. When the time is right, of course. We talk about 'em either way. The way he talks about his mom... I can tell he loves her. He has this respect for women that you don't see too often. And he makes it clear he wants me to meet them one day... just not yet." 

SZA's lips curved into a knowing smile. "That's serious. Meeting the family is a big step. Especially with you two being so private." 

Sedona's expression softened, her eyes shimmering with hope. "I want him to meet mine, too. When the time is right. My mom would love him... and Zeke... he'd probably try to act all tough at first, but he'd come around." 

SZA laughed, shaking her head. "Brothers always do. It's in their DNA to be protective." 

"Right?" Sedona chuckled, her heart feeling light. "I can already see it. But yeah... when the time is right. For now, I'm just... happy. Really, genuinely happy." 

SZA's eyes sparkled as she leaned over and pulled Sedona into a hug. "Happy looks good on you." 

Sedona closed her eyes, letting herself sink into the warmth of her friend's embrace. For the first time in a long time, she felt like everything was falling into place. She didn't know what the future held, but for now, she was content. 

And that was more than enough.

—

SZA's eyes narrowed, a wicked grin spreading across her face. "So about that three-month rule. How are you guys holding up? 'Cause the last time we talked, you said you felt like a wolf in heat."

Sedona nearly choked on her drink, her laughter spilling out before she could stop it. "Wow, really just putting my business out there like that?"

SZA shrugged, her smile innocent. "I mean, you said it, not me."

Sedona rolled her eyes, leaning back against the couch as she collected herself. "I mean... we're still holding on. To an extent." She took another sip of her drink, the cool liquid soothing her suddenly dry throat. "I dunno, I'm a tease, so it's in my nature to flirt, especially with him. I guess... he just brings it out of me."

"Oh, I bet he does," SZA teased, wiggling her eyebrows. "With all that height and that voice? Girl, I don't know how you're doing it."

Sedona's cheeks flushed, and she couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. "Right? It's like... everything about him is just..." She trailed off, her eyes going hazy as her thoughts wandered. "He looks at me, and I feel like I'm the only woman in the room. It's intense... in the best way."

SZA leaned forward, her chin resting on her hand as she listened intently. "And you're still sticking to the plan?"

Sedona nodded, but there was a flicker of hesitation in her eyes. "Yeah... I mean, it's been a challenge. I've had to remind myself why I set the boundary in the first place. I didn't want to rush into anything, didn't want to get lost in the physical and forget about building the emotional connection first."

"That's real," SZA agreed, her expression thoughtful. "It takes a lot of discipline to do that, especially when the chemistry is that strong."

Sedona laughed, the sound a mix of amusement and exasperation. "Strong is an understatement. It's like... electric. But at the same time, it's more than just physical. We're building something real, and I don't want to mess that up by jumping the gun."

SZA's lips curved into a smirk. "I respect that. But you're definitely playing with fire, though. Especially with all that teasing you're doing."

Sedona sighed, her eyes drifting to the ceiling as she let out a dramatic groan. "I know. I know, okay? But I can't help it! It's just... fun. And I like seeing him all riled up. It's cute."

SZA's eyes widened, her mouth falling open as she smacked Sedona's arm playfully. "Girl, you're playing with fire! You know men only got so much self-control, especially when it's somebody they actually want."

Sedona laughed, her head tilting back as she took another sip of her drink. "I know! But it's fun. He gets this look on his face... all serious and frustrated. It's cute." Her eyes sparkled with mischief. "I like pushing his buttons. Seeing how far I can go before he breaks."

SZA's jaw dropped in mock disbelief. "You are evil. Just diabolical. That man is suffering, and you over here getting a kick out of it."

"Well..."

SZA threw her head back, laughing so hard she had to clutch her stomach. "Oh, you're evil. You really out here torturing that man."

"It's not torture," Sedona argued, her voice mock-defensive. "It's... building anticipation."

SZA's laughter faded into a sly chuckle. "Anticipation, huh? That's one way to put it. But you know you're playing a dangerous game, right?"

Sedona's smile turned mischievous, her eyes sparkling with playful defiance. "Yeah... and I know I'm gonna get in trouble one day with all the teasing I'm doing."

"Just evil."

Sedona shrugged, her lips curving into a wicked grin. "I mean... it's not like I'm forcing him to stick to the rule. He agreed to it just as much as I did. We're both stubborn like that. But Lord knows it ain't easy."

"I bet," SZA teased, her eyebrows waggling suggestively. "Especially with all that pent-up tension between y'all. Y'all can barely keep your eyes off of each other. I can only imagine what it's like behind closed doors."

Sedona's cheeks flushed as memories of late-night make-out sessions flooded her mind—Kendrick's hands firm on her waist, his breath hot against her skin, the way his voice would drop an octave when he whispered her name. She swallowed hard, her voice coming out softer than intended. "It's... intense. Sometimes I forget how strong his self-control is. He knows how to pull back right when things get heated. It's... infuriating."

SZA burst into laughter, doubling over as she clutched her stomach. "Oh, you mad mad! That's what you get for teasing. You thought you were in control, huh?"

Sedona crossed her arms, pouting playfully. "I was! But then he flipped the script on me. Like last week, I was messing with him—being all touchy, wearing his favorite perfume, whispering in his ear... you know, the usual. And just when I thought I had him, he steps back, smirks, and says, 'Keep playing and see what happens.' Then he just walked away like nothing." She groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I was so mad!"

SZA was practically crying with laughter now. "You're killing me! He hit you with the reverse card!"

Sedona peeked through her fingers, her eyes narrowing. "Yeah... and that made me want him even more. It's like a game now. Who's gonna break first?"

SZA shook her head, wiping tears from her eyes. "My money's on you. I've never seen you this sprung before."

Sedona sighed, her shoulders sagging as she sank back into the couch. "You're probably right. He knows exactly what he's doing. But it's worth it. The wait... it makes everything more... meaningful, I guess." Her voice softened, her expression growing serious. "I want this to be different. I want us to be different. And I think... I think that's why we're able to hold on. Because we both want this to last."

SZA's laughter faded, her face softening as she reached over and squeezed Sedona's hand. "That's real love right there. The kind that makes you want to be better. I'm proud of you, Sedona. And I'm happy for you. For real."

Sedona smiled, her heart swelling as she squeezed SZA's hand back. "Thanks, Solana. That means a lot."

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the weight of the conversation settling between them.

SZA grinned, her eyes narrowing playfully. "Alright, Miss Hopeless Romantic. But don't say I didn't warn you when all that teasing backfires."

Sedona's grin widened, a wicked gleam in her eye. "Oh, I know it's gonna backfire. But that's half the fun." She leaned in conspiratorially. "Besides, I like trouble."

SZA shook her head, her laughter ringing through the room. "Girl, you are something else."

Then, SZA's eyes narrowed mischievously. "But for real... how long you think you can keep this up? You're a better woman than me, because I would've been gone."

Sedona threw her head back, laughter bubbling out of her as she shook her head. "Honestly? I have no idea. But I'm gonna try... even if it kills me."

SZA grinned, leaning back against the couch. "Well, good luck with that. You're gonna need it."

Sedona rolled her eyes, her laughter filling the room once more. "Yeah... I really am."

They shared a look, one of understanding and mischief, before dissolving into another round of laughter. The sound filled the room, lightening the air and echoing off the walls of Sedona's newly rearranged living room.

She hadn't felt this free in a long time, and it was all because of him.

Even if teasing Kendrick was a dangerous game, it was a game she was willing to keep playing.

And she couldn't wait to see who would break first.

—

©kashdemi
Volume I- Redamancy.
Chapter Sixty-two.
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Spam dumping chapters until we reach the long awaited chapter. ;) LISTEN THE TOUR IS OFFICIALLY OVER SO WE'RE CLOSE TO GETTING ALL WHAT WE WANT YEAHHHH.

Stay tuned for the next chapter, & til next time!
-shea