liii. BRUTAL.
February 21, 2018. | Third Person POV.
London, England.

The morning after was brutal.

Sedona had taken a cold shower the night before, hoping to wash away the heat that had settled deep in her bones after last night's near-miss with Kendrick. If anything, it had made things worse, leaving her restless, hypersensitive, and longing for something she knew she couldn't have just yet.

And then came the dream.

In her subconscious, she and Kendrick were tangled up in silk sheets, limbs entwined, breaths heavy. His touch was slow, deliberate, tracing the curves of her body like he was memorizing every inch. His lips ghosted over her skin, whispering praises that made her shiver. Her hands roamed over the expanse of his back, nails lightly digging in as he moved against her, deep and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world to worship her properly. It felt so real—the warmth of his breath, the weight of his body pressing into hers, the way he whispered her name like a promise. Just as she was on the edge of something intense, her alarm blared. Loudly.

Sedona shot up with a groan, kicking her feet in frustration. "Ain't no way..." She muttered, running a hand down her face.

"God, help me."

How was she supposed to survive this three-month rule if even her own dreams were out to get her?

Annoyed, she rolled out of bed and decided to distract herself with food. After ordering breakfast, she went to retrieve it from the hallway, only to find Kendrick stepping out at the same time to get his. The second their eyes met, she had to bite back a laugh—because he looked just as frazzled as she felt.

His sweats hung a little lower on his hips than usual, his hair was slightly messy, and there was something in his expression—a flicker of tension behind his eyes—that made her smirk despite herself.

Kendrick ran a hand over his beard, his voice still rough from sleep. "Mornin'."

"Good morning." Sedona chirped hoping that if she pretended things weren't as unavoidable as it was, it'll got by quicker. "Things got a little crazy last night," She teased, leaning against the doorframe.

Kendrick exhaled a laugh, shaking his head as he picked up his tray. "You don't even know the half of it."

"Oh, I think I do." She arched a brow. "So, how'd you sleep?"

He gave her a long look before rubbing a hand over his face. "I didn't."

They exchanged a look that was loaded with unspoken tension, both clearly on the same page about what had happened—or almost happened—between them. But before she could linger too long, she grabbed her breakfast and disappeared back into her suite, needing space to clear her head.

—

Later that day, Sedona prepped for her Top of the Pops performance, trying to push all thoughts of last night and this morning to the back of her mind. The label was pushing Push 2 Start hard, so she had to make sure her performance delivered.

On the way to the studio, she found herself in the elevator with Monica. Playing it cool, she casually threw out a question: "Hypothetically, what does it mean when someone keeps having, uh... vivid dreams? About someone they're trying not to do anything with?"

Monica, unimpressed, gave her a knowing side-eye. "You mean you?"

Sedona groaned. "No! I mean, yes, but—"

"It's normal." Monica shrugged, barely fazed. "Every couple goes through it. The want to have sex? That's a given. Intimacy is natural. Plus, you might just be ovulating."

Sedona blinked. "Right."

"Well, that or your subconscious is screaming at you to break your own rule."

Sedona sighed, but she couldn't argue with that.

—

By the time she hit the Top of the Pops stage, she had to lock in. The set design was sleek—bright LED panels flashing in sync with the beat, a car prop on stage to match the theme of Push 2 Start. The crowd was alive, screaming the lyrics back at her, feeding off her energy. As soon as the beat dropped, she moved effortlessly, her body rolling to the rhythm, each step precise yet fluid. She owned the stage, delivering every note with the perfect balance of attitude and sultriness.

She moved effortlessly, body fluid yet precise as she delivered each lyric with a sultry confidence. The crowd was locked in, hanging onto every word, every step. The choreography was intense—slick body rolls, sharp transitions, a hypnotic blend of sensuality and power.

By the time she hit the final chorus, sweat glistened on her skin, but she didn't falter. The exhilaration, the rush of performing live, drowned out every other thought. And when the last beat dropped, the audience erupted into applause, solidifying that she had once again proven why she was a force to be reckoned with.

But as she left the stage, chest rising and falling from exertion, her mind betrayed her, drifting right back to Kendrick.

This three-month rule was going to kill her.

—

Sedona leaned back against the plush leather seat of the car, dipping a fry into ketchup before popping it into her mouth. The taped performance had gone well—her energy was high, the crowd was engaged, and Push 2 Start was making waves. But now, with the adrenaline wearing off, she needed a distraction.

She tapped her screen, opening FaceTime and scrolling through her contacts before clicking on a group call with Jasmine, SZA, and Solange.

It didn't take long for them to pick up.

"Look at this international superstar!" Jasmine grinned, the Los Angeles skyline visible behind her.

"Miss London Town!" SZA added, adjusting her hoodie. "How's tour life treating you?"

Sedona smirked, flipping the camera to show her fries and a half-finished burger. "Tiring. Rewarding. Delicious."

"Not you showing us food like we starving," Solange deadpanned, reclining on a velvet couch. "But go 'head, give us the update."

Sedona shifted, balancing the phone against the car's armrest. "Wembley was insane. Sold out. I swear I felt the crowd's energy in my bones. And Top of the Pops went smooth, label's pushing the single heavy."

"Oooh, we love that," Jasmine nodded approvingly.

"But what about outside of work?" SZA asked, wiggling her brows. "You and Kendrick still holding strong to that little pact of yours?"

Sedona rolled her eyes, but the heat creeping up her neck betrayed her. "About that..."

Solange gasped dramatically. "Ohhh, not you almost giving up the goods. Freaky."

"Girl, I feel like a wolf in heat," Sedona groaned, tossing a fry back into the bag. "It's never been this intense before." She hesitated before adding, "Not even with you-know-who."

SZA waved a dismissive hand. "That's 'cause his chakras weren't aligned with yours. Plus, you haven't had your gears oiled in over—" She started counting on her fingers, eyes squinting. "Five months."

Jasmine let out a sharp laugh. "Five months?! Nah, baby, you strong. I would've cracked by month two."

"I almost did! Almost had me a fling until Kenny came alone and well..." Sedona groaned, rubbing her temples. "Last night was... whew."

Monica snorted beside her, shaking her head but not interrupting.

"What happened?" Solange leaned in, intrigued.

Sedona hesitated, then sighed. "We were making out—like, heavy. I literally had to stop myself mid-kiss before things went too far. And this morning? I had the most vivid ass dream about him."

"Chile..." SZA dragged the word, clearly entertained. "Don't tell me you left him hanging."

Sedona winced. "I did... I know, I know." She sighed. "That's bad! But I didn't know what to do."

Jasmine let out a dramatic gasp. "You can't do that to a man, Syd! You got him all riled up just to pull back?"

"I had to!" Sedona defended, but the guilt was already creeping in. "I'll just thug it out."

Solange gave her a knowing look. "Mmm, and how's that working out for you?"

"Well..."

Solange smirked. "So in all honesty, your body is betraying you."

"Sadly, yes!" Sedona exclaimed, exasperated. "I took a cold shower, tried to sleep it off, and still ended up with my subconscious tormenting me."

Jasmine shook her head. "At this point, y'all might as well break the rule."

Sedona narrowed her eyes. "No, 'cause if I do, then what was the point of setting it in the first place?"

Solange shrugged. "Discipline, I guess. But honestly, sometimes rules are meant to be broken."

Monica finally cut in, side-eyeing Sedona. "Or you could just keep doing what you're doing and suffer through it."

Sedona groaned, flopping back into her seat. "Y'all are no help."

The car erupted into laughter, and even Sedona had to chuckle, despite the frustration simmering beneath the surface.

The laughter eventually died down, but Sedona could still hear SZA giggling on the other end. 

"So, what's the plan?" Jasmine asked, sipping from her cup. "You just gon' keep cold-showering your way through the rest of this tour? Unless you brought some help with you along the road."

Sedona huffed, tilting her head back against the seat. "I didn't. And I don't know, man. I just gotta stay strong." 

"Or you can stay delusional," Solange quipped, smirking. 

SZA gasped dramatically. "Wait! Maybe you should, like, set up distractions. You know, find other ways to get that energy out." 

"I'm already performing, dancing, working out—what more do you want me to do, sis?" Sedona asked, exasperated. 

"Knitting," Solange said immediately. "Start knitting." 

Monica snorted. 

Jasmine grinned. "Oh my God, imagine Sedona sitting in her dressing room, aggressively knitting while sweating from frustration." 

Sedona waved them off. "Y'all play too much." 

"But for real," Solange said, voice turning a bit more serious, "it's just tension, Syd. You and Kendrick already got a crazy bond, and this rule y'all set? It's just adding to the intensity. You ever think that maybe it's making you want each other more?" 

Sedona let that sit for a moment. Because honestly? That was exactly what was happening. It wasn't just physical either—it was the connection, the intimacy, the closeness. The three-month rule was supposed to be about building something deeper before they gave in, but all it did was amplify the hunger. 

"I know you're right," Sedona sighed. "But still. I can't just tap out now." 

"Listen," SZA chimed in, "If you can survive another month and a half without spontaneously combusting, you might actually be superhuman." 

Sedona smirked. "I like to think I am." 

Jasmine laughed. "Well, we're rooting for you, babe. But if you break? We told you so." 

They all burst into laughter again before wrapping up the call. As soon as the screen went dark, Sedona tossed her phone onto her lap and let out a dramatic groan. 

Monica gave her a knowing look. "Girl, just admit you wanna fold." 

Sedona lifted her hands in defeat. "I do! But I won't." 

Monica smirked, popping a fry into her mouth. "Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that." 

Sedona sighed, staring out the window at the passing London streets. This tour was about to be a real test of patience.

—

Back at the hotel, Sedona flopped onto her bed with an exasperated sigh, her phone resting on her stomach as she stared up at the ceiling. Monica had already disappeared to her room, leaving Sedona alone with her thoughts—and unfortunately, her still-raging tension. 

She groaned, rubbing her hands down her face. 

She needed a distraction. Something. Anything.

Her phone buzzed, making her glance down. 

𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 5:30 PM

Kenny
You back yet?

She stared at the message for a moment before typing back. 

Sedona
Yeah, just got in. What's up?

A few seconds later, her phone started ringing. 

FaceTime. 

She frowned. Why was he calling when they were literally in the same hallway? If she opened her door, she could probably see his. 

Still, she exhaled and picked up. 

The screen loaded, and there he was—lying on his bed, one arm tucked behind his head, the other holding his phone. His braids were tucked away neatly, and the white tee he had on did nothing to hide the definition in his arms and chest. His lips—full, slightly parted—looked criminally soft. 

She swallowed. 

Kendrick let his gaze roam over her, something unreadable behind his eyes. 

"You look tired," He said, voice deep, smooth. 

She snorted, trying to keep things light. "Gee, thanks." 

His lips barely quirked. "You did your thing today. I saw some clips 'cause of Monica." 

She propped herself up on her elbow, intrigued. "Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah," He said, eyes still locked onto her. "Killed that shit." 

A warmth bloomed in her chest, but something about the way he was looking at her had her gripping the phone tighter. 

"Thanks," She murmured. 

Silence. 

His eyes lingered, dark, unreadable. "You good?" 

She hesitated, suddenly on edge. "...Define good." 

That slow smirk appeared, but there was something dangerous behind it. "Damn. That bad, huh?" 

She groaned, flopping onto her side. "Kendrick. This is torture." 

A deep chuckle left him, but it wasn't amused—it was knowing.

"You think it's just you?" His voice was smooth, steady, but there was an edge beneath it. 

She glanced at the screen again. His jaw was locked, his fingers tapping against his stomach like he was trying to distract himself. His restraint was visible, like he was hanging on by a thread. 

Her breath caught. 

"You—" She swallowed. "You been struggling like that too?" 

He scoffed, low and rough. "Struggling?" He dragged a hand down his face. "Sedona, you damn near climbed on top of me last night, then ran off like you ain't just start a damn fire." 

She squeezed her eyes shut, groaning. "I had to." 

"You ain't have to." His voice dipped lower, almost a growl. 

She peeked at him through her fingers. "Kendrick—" 

"I get it," He cut in, tone softer, more dangerous. "We made a promise. And I ain't gonna break it. But, Sedona..." 

Her stomach flipped. 

He exhaled slowly, dragging his tongue over his bottom lip before looking back at her through the screen. 

"You're making this real hard for me." 

Her fingers curled into the sheets. 

Another pause. The tension felt suffocating. 

His gaze flickered down, like he was seeing something she couldn't, then back up, his jaw tightening. 

She licked her lips, barely breathing. "What are you thinking about?" 

Kendrick let out a low laugh, no humor in it. "What am I thinking about?" He tilted his head, tongue pressing against his cheek. "D, you don't wanna know." 

She inhaled sharply. 

He studied her for a beat, the heat in his stare melting through the screen. "Matter fact," He said, voice thick with something she couldn't name, "I know you wanna know." 

Her thighs pressed together involuntarily. 

The corner of his mouth twitched like he knew.

But then, suddenly, he exhaled and raked a hand over his face like he was trying to shake it off. 

"Listen," He said, voice rough, "Get some rest. You got another big day tomorrow." 

Sedona blinked, thrown completely off. "That's it?" 

His brow arched. "What you want me to say, D?" 

She frowned. "I don't know. Something. I just—" 

"I can't say what I want to say." His voice was low, thick, dark. "You know that." 

Her breath hitched. 

Silence. 

A beat passed. Then another. 

His eyes stayed on her, smoldering, burning. 

And then— 

"...Goodnight, Sedona." 

The call ended. 

She stared at the blank screen, her chest rising and falling way too fast. Eventually she et out a slow breath, her body still thrumming from that damn call.

Her fingers twitched against the sheets as she dropped her phone onto the nightstand, staring at the ceiling like it held the answers to her problem.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

Every damn look. Every word. Every pause filled with so much unspoken tension that it felt like the air had been sucked from the room.

She rolled onto her stomach, pressing her forehead against the pillow with a frustrated groan. This is not fair.

Three months.

Three whole months of this slow, burning buildup, this torturous push and pull between them.

And the worst part? She'd been so close to breaking last night. And if she was honest with herself, she didn't know how much longer she could hold out.

Sedona groaned again, pressing her back against her pillow. It wasn't working out. Not for her, and definitely not for Kendrick. She could still see the way his jaw clenched, the way his fingers twitched against his thigh when she pulled away. The tension between them had only gotten worse—especially after their FaceTime call.

She bit her lip, her phone sitting on the nightstand, taunting her. Immediately she grabbed it and began absentmindedly scrolling through old texts, rereading the way Kendrick had flirted, teased, wanted her. And she had just stopped.

She shut her eyes briefly.

Was she being too rigid?

Was there a way to fix this without completely giving in?

Her fingers hovered over her messages. Should she text him? Maybe something light, playful, just to ease the tension?

She started typing. Hey, about last night—

No. Delete.

She exhaled sharply, locking her phone.

She was so screwed. "God, if you're listening and you truly love me like you say you do, help a girl out."

Exhaling through her nose as she tossed the phone onto the side of the bed like it had burned her.

This man was going to be the death of her.

And for the first time since they'd made their deal, she started wondering if maybe—just maybe—she didn't mind losing this game.

Oh. 

Oh, she was so screwed.

—

©kashdemi
Volume I- Redamancy.
Chapter Fifty-three.
— ０２／１９／２５
———————

They want each other so bad. Like really bad. I think it's important to showcase relationships in this light especially within the writing scene... it almost never happens. Most people either just fuck and done and keep it moving. I wanted to try something different.

Thoughts on the chapter? Thoughts on their growing relationship? And what do you expect for the next one?

Stay tuned for the next chapter, & til next time!
-shea