0. SIMPLY TIRED.
October 20, 2017. | Third Person POV.
Los Angeles, California.

"It's over. We're done."

Those were Sedona's last words after she and her now ex Marco's big fight. That fight was a month ago and it's now October. Now, she sits alone on a couch, her thoughts on full display, feelings brewing deeper than ever. With crossed hands, she looks around the office taking note of the various certificates that her therapist earned.

Therapy.

At first, Sedona didn't appeal to the idea of discussing the downs of her life and the cause of it. It was a rather taboo subject in her family causing her to rather bite her tongue to how she actually felt and face the consequences of such emotion later on. But now, as the year of 2017 was steadily coming to an end it forced her to realize how worse things have gotten over time.

A year prior about two days after the 59th Grammys she took it upon herself to utilize her riches and start therapy. At first, she was a bit apprehensive finding the idea of telling a stranger the complexities of your mind, but over time the icy layer that locked her heart and mind tight slowly melted away leaving her a sobbing mess when realization hits. It was easier to share her feelings through music than with another person.

Her career as a professional singer and artist has helped her remain distracted. Oftentimes, it's something she wouldn't be willing to admit out loud as she that she preferred it that way. The small rings on Sedona's intertwined hands gleamed against the incandescent lightening as it rested on her lap, brown eyes staring aimlessly at the long lines of scribbled notes belonging to Dr. Garcia. Her writing wasn't seeable for a reason. She turned back and forth between the many pages before looking up at the woman whom she'd grown used to seeing for about a year now.

"Well..." Dr. Garcia began, looking up at the younger woman with a warm smile. A deep sigh was soon to follow which gave Sedona the single she knew stating that whatever words that were coming next weren't going to be good or just enough to kiss her ass.

"You are truly a force to be reckoned with. However, as your therapist, I'm not sure if it's something that can be either of help or a hindrance as you try to move forward within this remaining year," She explained.

Dr. Garcia continued, "According to my notes, you were given your first assignment over the weekend. How was trying to take accountability, Ms. Baptiste?"

Sedona sighed to herself deeply as the feeling of regret sunk deeper and deeper into the core of her sensitive soul. This was one of many questions that she wasn't looking forward to answering during this evening's session, but Dr. Gracia had the direct skill of reading her clients in ways the average person wouldn't think about.

"It didn't happen," Sedona sighed. "We're not together anymore and I don't plan on going back to that any time soon."

Dr. Garcia immediately scribbled notes onto a blank sheet of paper without bothering to look up. "May I ask why?"

Sedona sighs, "By the time I made my way to his doorstep he was already in the arms of another girl. His ass must've forgotten I had a key." It was almost pitiful how calm she appeared, she didn't feel like crying, did enough of that, and didn't care to argue or ask how could someone move on so quickly. She didn't have that much energy to waste. "The logical thing I did was place the key near his door and headed over to the studio."

She flipped back and forth between notes of the previous months, assumed Sedona.

"It's a shame on his part. What's good is that you didn't act irrationally even though at times it could feel needed. Besides him, you had a great year musically. About a year ago you won three Grammys. Yes?"

"Yes, ma'am," Sedona nodded. 2016 had to be the year where Sedona was at her highest musically. She'd just released her first studio album Confidently... Lost where the singles Kiss It Better, Distraction, and Fool For You with all reigning tall on the charts during their respective releases. She also gained a notary for her contribution to Solange's A Seat at the Table specifically her vocals on the 19th track Scales.  She also even wrote on Beyoncé's Lemonade. It was safe to say that the year 2016 had her all kinds of busy to where she even neglected her health and now she's having to pay for it. 

The momentum and lack of care only grew bigger when she received two awards at the Grammys with one being Best New Artist and the other for Best R&B Song with Kiss It Better. She hadn't stopped crying ever since.

Dr. Garcia only twirled her engraved while delving into a momentary pause. As Sedona's career furthered, it demanded a vast majority of her dedication and time, and much more in recent months when she decided to feature on various artists' songs one being Tyler, The Creator with his recent album Flower Boy. Dr. Garcia didn't bother to speak nor look up from her notebook.

"Before I congratulate you, would you say you say that your increasing fame would also be negatively impacting the way you view life and relationships?"

"Well." She began, finding the need to play with her bracelets in an attempt to calm her nerves and articulate herself. "I would say in a sense it did. I wasn't expecting my songs to resonate with so many people and it's overwhelming at times. Hella. And so within all that I started neglecting myself and my label has just been on my ass about a new album." Sedona responded with sincerity.

Sedona felt a sense of guilt whenever it came to the topic of producing and creating her sophomore album. It gave her more than enough anxiety just to even think about it and her label—Roc Nation wasn't helping either way in easing that doubt. "And I'm like fuck the album! The more pressure you give me the more I don't want to do it. Shit's aggravating."

"I think you need a break. You also need a breather, some time to disconnect from the almost suffocating world that you're in and you have this fear of disappointing others hence why you're holding yourself back."

Sedona hummed in agreement, "Yeah, what I honestly need is a vacation. A place where there's the beach, and the sun. Hopefully, then I'd find some peace of mind and get my groove back, I'll even let the label know that I'll be gone for the rest of the year and even throw the idea of creating an album to put 'em off. Yeah... that's what I'll do."

"Then it's settled." Flipping through her notes, Dr. Garcia stops at a page. Looking up with a knowing grin, she comes up with an idea. "I have a task for you—whenever you go on that vacation, bring a journal with you, with that journal write down whatever inspires you up until you're ready to leave. Document your journey, and if you can bring a camera. Who knows it might come in handy."

"It's official." If she wanted to go on an impromptu vacation it would be for the rest of the year—meaning all the performances that were in the cards for her had to wait until the next year. "See you in three months."

—

©kashdemi
Volume I- Redamancy.
Prologue.
— １２／１３／２４
———————
Was kinda brain farting on this junk. But listen it all connects into the new era aka 2018. Mr. Duckworth will make his appearance in due time. :)

Thoughts on Dr. Garcia?  Faceclaim: Gia Torres. This overall chapter?

Stay tuned for the official chapter, & til next time!
- shea