tw : scenes of vampire-related gore and violence. 
read with caution ♥️

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Fei told me the first scouting mission would take place at dusk the next day. She didn't tell me where, just to go for a walk and keep my nose to the ground. It was good she didn't give me all the details. The secrets were piling up, and I had a mindreader to keep out of my head.

After she gave me a noncommittal pat on the head and disappeared southwest, I marched back into the forest, hung out in the trees and waited for someone to find me. Eventually Seungmin, Jeongin and Hyunjin passed by. I caught them in the middle of an Awkward Lull — convo was sparse.

We met the others at the forest edge. They were kneeling on the ground, heads bowed. Praying, I guess. I put my head down, too, but my mind was blank. The eight of us ran full-speed out of the forest, pointed toward the city. I breathed in and out, in and out, and Jisung listened, eyes squinted at the back of my head.

Jisung finally let up once we reached the hotel. He stopped Haseong and Chan, asked if he could talk to them privately. They hung back in the hallway while the rest of us continued into the suite. Changbin and I sat down on the sofa and I slouched into his side.

"Did you get enough to drink?" he asked.

"Yeah." I was enjoying momentarily not having to censor my thoughts.

"What's up? You're feeling... trepidation?"

But I guess my thoughts weren't all I had to worry about. "No — trepidation? No. Maybe overstimulated."

"Why overstimulated?"

"I don't really feel like being around people right now, know what I mean? Hey, you and me, let's—"

"Felix, can we speak to you?" Chan and Haseong were peeking in the door. Jisung strode past them and sat on the bed, staring at me again. I breathed — in and out — and nodded, got up to meet them. They led me out into the hallway.

"Felix, we're sorry for—" Chan started.

"It's fine, hyung, I get it," I interrupted.

"We don't want to invade your privacy the way we have been. We live in the human world but the vampire world is always following us. You understand that, right?"

"Of course I do. But you're not gonna stop spying on me, are you?"

"We can talk about—"

"No," Haseong said. "Not until we know what you're hiding."

"I'm not hiding anything."

"That's a lie."

Haseong and I stared, tested each other. Chan squeezed his hands together, looking supremely uncomfortable.

"Changbin and I are going out," I said. "You won't have to worry about us for a while."

Haseong nodded, didn't say anything. I headed back into the suite. Changbin had moved to the bed so he could talk at Jisung, and to my surprise, Jisung was actually listening. Hyunjin was next to him, slumped all the way down to the pillow.

"Changbin," I said, "wanna step out, go for a run?"

He winced a little and looked up at me. "Rain check? Jisung's gonna teach me to play piano."

"What the hell is a 'rain check'? Can you just come with me please?"

"You can come to the lounge if you want."

I glanced at Jisung. It was hard to keep breathing when all I wanted to do was lock up tight.

"Forget it, I'll go by myself." I pivoted to the window.

"You're upset, why are you feeling—?"

"For fuck's sake, Changbin, don't tell me what I'm feeling."

"Felix, wait—"

I climbed out, slammed it behind me and scaled the side of the building, headed for the roof. I felt like punching something. The last thing I needed was to be fighting with Changbin, in addition to all the other fights I was juggling. It only made me angrier that his cuddles were all that could calm me down.

I pulled myself onto the roof, straightened out and—

Oh my fucking god. Seungmin and Jeongin were kissing. They heard me and broke apart, faces folding into expressions of shock and guilt. I'm sure mine mirrored theirs.

"Felix," Seungmin said, voice shaky.

"I-I'll go."

I spun around, jumped off the edge, landed in the courtyard below and marched out onto the sidewalk. It was early in the morning, there were barely any humans out, and I was walking in double-time, mind oversaturated and overwhelmed. Damn it all. I didn't want to think about any of it.

I kept walking toward the sound of water. Eventually the river appeared in front of me. I sat on the edge of a retaining wall, trying very hard not to think, and practiced breathing.

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I didn't go back to the hotel. I stayed out of the humans' way until the sun rose, peaked, and set below the horizon once again. At nightfall, I walked down the wooden pier, sniffing for something out of the ordinary. I'd never figured out how Fei worked so stealthily, but she always managed to get the message across, one way or another.

The first clue I found was a leaf laying in the middle of the sidewalk. It smelled like her. It was pointed northeast so I went that way. The scent only got stronger — I reached a busier part of the city, started running down Claremont Road, following the trail.

The buildings receded around me, and suddenly the scent was gone. I pivoted back, followed it to a church — St. Luke's.

It didn't lead me inside. I rounded the corner onto Windmill Court, followed it till it led me straight up the side of the building. I jumped up and caught a downspout, pulled myself into the crook between inclined roofs, and climbed to the peak.

Fei was leaning against a small steeple, her three lackeys by her side. I recognized them from the brick house — Sam, Seojun and Taya, all three mean-looking nomads with wandering blood-red eyes.

"Felix," said Fei. "Were you followed?"

"Er, I don't think so."

She said something quick to Sam, and he flitted away, down the street and out of sight in a split second.

"He'll make sure we're alone," she said.

"What if someone followed me, what will he do?"

She rolled her eyes a little, walking the sharp peak of the roof toward me. "This new coven you've found... they mean something to you. I'm aware of that. Sam will merely throw them off the scent if he finds they were tracking you. He's under orders — they all are."

"That's good, since you have them follow me and all."

She didn't reply to that. Instead she palmed my forehead and pushed up an eyelid. I shoved her hand away.

"What the hell?"

"It's a pity. The red suited you, it was menacing."

"Yeah, well, I don't really choose to abstain for the look of it."

"You just do it because your new masters say so."

"They're not my masters," I growled, "and neither are you. Let's get this over with. I don't know how long my new coven can go without sticking their noses up my ass."

Fei smirked, gestured with two fingers to Taya and Seojun. They leapt off the roof, to the ground, and I followed. Suddenly Sam was back, shoving to get ahead of me. We slipped into an arched door and then — they disappeared. The inside of the church was big and open, pews pointed toward a grand stained glass window.

"Here," someone said. I looked up to see the four crouched on a dark ledge above the window. I took a running leap and threw myself into the air. I almost missed my target — Fei grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and yanked me up.

"Careful," she hissed, shoving Taya over to make room for me. "Game plan — Felix tells us their future, we wait for them to leave, and then we induct them."

"Why are we doing this in a church?" I asked.

"These people are lost. Why else would they worship their godhead at seven in the evening?"

"They have faith?"

"They're unsatisfied. It doesn't have to be a question — Felix, read them."

The three watched me. I avoided their eyes and looked down at the pews. There were seven or eight humans, heads bowed, dead quiet. I closed my eyes and focussed on the one closest to me.

She would make dinner tonight, eat it with her husband. A loveless marriage, but her house was big, and her parents lived down the street.

"The lady in the cloche is happy enough," I said, eyes still closed, "skip her."

Fei told me to continue.

The one in the middle would go back to an empty house this evening, the absence of her children everywhere she looked. A man in front was going to attend his best friend's wedding, he was excited for it. Another man at the back was planning to poison his ex's new beau and preemptively repenting for it.

"Um," I murmured. "The one in black, there's... no hope. Everything's been taken. And the guy at the back, too, he kinda deserves it."

The woman crying silently would confess to the love of her life the day after tomorrow. The one leaning back in her seat was simply thanking her god for her dogs. A man near the aisle worked with metal — it would kill him soon, as it had killed his brother before him.

"The guy on the left will die soon. He's not married, no friends, nothing to—"

A man in the front suddenly leapt out of his seat, and my vision clouded over. He would drink, fight, kill a man in a stupor, be hanged within the month. His parents were dead, ex-wife remarried, children estranged. Nobody would miss him.

I gasped for air but a hand was covering my mouth. I blinked until I could see again. The man slammed the arched door behind him, leaving the church.

"Felix," said Fei, taking her hand away.

"He j-just gave up," I said. "On recovery. He's low. He has no one. Follow him."

"Seojun, take the one in black when he leaves — Taya, you're on the lowlife. Sam, take the sad sack. Meet in the Moors. Felix, come with me."

"Fei, I'm just here to tell the future."

"Unless you decide you want more. I'll show you the ropes."

I sighed a deep breath. That spark of excitement in her face, she knew I couldn't resist it. Besides, where else did I have to go? At least here I was wanted.

"Fine."

We ghosted to the floor and out into the foggy twilight. The man was walking briskly down the road, hands in his pockets. His blood, the scent coming off his skin, smelled luscious. I could imagine how it would feel in my mouth, sating me, his fragile flesh splitting between my teeth.

"Quit swallowing," Fei said. "It's distracting."

"I wanna drain him. And his parents. And his parents' parents."

"I'd appreciate if you left my mark alive. If you so wish, I could escort you somewhere more fruitful after this. It's a convent, but I've always preferred to feed somewhere my incursion will make a lasting impression."

"That's not necessary. Are you gonna pick this guy up or what?"

"Watch and learn."

Suddenly she wasn't beside me. I swerved into the trees, kept my eyes on the man. His face was weathered, beard short and black, head bowed toward the sidewalk.

"Hello."

He straightened out, looking around. Fei was a couple yards in front of him, posture demure, hands crossed behind her back.

"Good evening," he said simply, brusque.

"Where are you going this evening?" She spoke slowly and softly — I could understand her English.

"Pub, what's it to you?" On the contrary, his words were garbled and frustratingly British.

"Forgive me for being curious. Can I walk with you?"

His lips pressed together in the centre of his scruff. He kept walking and Fei followed at his side.

"What is your name?" she asked.

"Arthur. Yours?"

"Fei."

"Fei. I've... never seen a lady like you out here before."

"I'm here for a reason."

"What's that?"

"I'd like you to know that you're wanted. There's an opportunity under your nose and I am the harbinger of that opportunity."

The man smirked. "I feel I've been granted this opportunity before. You're very forward, coming to the man like this."

Fei rolled her eyes too minutely for him to notice. "A misunderstanding. I mean a chance to become something better. To walk toward a more beautiful future. What if I said I could make you immortal? Indestructible? Strong, fast, fearless? Something more than human?"

"I'd say you're a little bit off your cracker." I didn't see what food had to do with this. "Keep talking."

"I'm good at reading people. You're at a time where you are looking for something new. Something to believe in."

It struck a chord. His eyes shifted to peek at her.

"You don't know the half of the world you live in," Fei said. "There's a cause that needs you. A purpose."

"What does that mean? What... what are you?"

"I am not allowed to say that — for the moment, at least. Let me change you and I'll tell you all about it."

"Change me? How?"

"A bite. It will hurt a little." I almost laughed out loud. "But it will be over before you know it. And then you will be strong. Free. You will feel as though you know the ground beneath your feet and the air you breathe."

She almost had me believing, and I had already lived it, I already knew it was bullshit. We were not indestructible nor fearless, not even close to being whole — she pitched it as if the change did that for us.

Arthur wasn't sure. His future started to pend, flicking in and out like a film reel.

"So, what, you're one of these... creatures?" he said.

"Yes. Would you like me to show you what I can do?"

"Um... I suppose."

There was an automobile parked at the side of the street. Fei walked over to it, braced her hands underneath its body and lifted it over her head.

Arthur gaped, rocking back on his heels. "Wh-what the hell are you?"

Fei let the car down with a heavy clank. Fluid spilled out of the cracks her fingers had left in its underbelly.

"I'm evolved," she said. "You could be, too. At a price."

"What price?"

"It is not heavy. You will have to leave your world if you wish to enter mine. You must vanish quietly. Your family cannot know that you still live. You cannot go back to them."

"I... I have children."

"But they are estranged, uninterested in keeping your company, correct? How much would they miss you if you were to disappear? Look at yourself, what else do you have going for you except potential? Allow me to unlock that potential." Fei held her hands out to his face, the way she had with me. "Embrace a future without strife, without weakness or doubt. It is at your fingertips."

Arthur's face was conflicted, but I saw the change in my head. The future was set. His face slowly softened, caught up with the decision he had already made. He raised his hand, and Fei took it, caressed it between her own.

"Come with me."

She led him across the street, into the edge of trees. I ducked out of sight and followed. She pulled him deeper into the forest, the dark maze, and held his mouth closed as she tore her teeth into his neck, fast and clean. His scream was muffled, his arms swinging, desperate to fend her off.

She broke away, took her hands back, and his body fell to the ground, writhing at her feet. I approached carefully — blood was pouring from his throat, I could smell it, I craved it, from where I was.

"That was some fine manipulation," I said.

"Quit it," she scoffed. "That went sublimely. You did well, too."

I looked down, quietly enjoying the compliment.

"I could have made quicker work of him if he wasn't such a stubborn git. Christ, I hate it when they have stubble." She hawked and spat into a bush.

"Didn't think it was pertinent to say he'll be... drafted once he wakes?"

"He's been warned there was a cause. Besides, he won't leave the only people he has left. They never do."

"I did."

"Well. They are not as strong as you, are they?"

We stood there, arms at our sides, and tried not to have a moment. The only sounds were the crickets singing in the brush and Arthur's screaming. She bent down, grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him past me.

"The rest are coming." She propped him up against a tree and flicked leaves onto him. "It tends to perturb the other signees when they can see what's coming. Give me your sock."

"What?"

"Felix, sock." She stuck her hand out.

I took off my shoe and passed her my sock. She stuffed it into Arthur's mouth to shut him up.

Seven pairs of feet were walking at a human speed toward us. They came through the trees, the three vampires behind the four humans, corralling them. Three of their futures were set — the man on the left was unconvinced.

Fei stood from her crouch and walked to meet them. I stayed in the shadows with Arthur, just in case he managed to spit out the sock.

"My heart goes out to each and every one of you," Fei said, earnestness ringing in each word. "I'm counting four. What's your name, elder?"

"Elizabeth," the woman said. "This is my daughter." She gestured to the lady next to her, the one in black. "She said I must come with her, to this new world..."

"We have nothing left here," the woman in black said simply.

Fei smiled a sharp-toothed smile. I could practically hear what she was thinking. A bonus. You're my lucky charm, Felix.

"You are so welcome." She took Elizabeth's hands in hers. "Is everyone ready to begin?"

"I'm very sorry," the man on the left said, "but I'm not quite convinced this ain't some doomsday cult. I mean, who the hell are you even?"

"My name is Fei, and this is not a cult. Each one of you is being called to something great. You shall run at my side and bring justice to a people."

"You women got the right ta vote four years ago, what's the damn problem now?"

"You misunderstand me, we are fighting against an unfair system, a tyranny in a world you know not—"

The man rolled his eyes. "All right then, you're obviously a nutter. I'll leave you people to defile Jesus on your own."

He turned and walked away at a brisk pace. He was right to leave, to listen to his instincts. Despite what I knew about him, I almost felt remorse. Escape wasn't as easy as walking away.

Fei sighed, shaking her head ruefully. "Felix."

It was a jolt to hear my own name. I stood and took a couple steps toward them.

"Would you make sure the gentleman gets home safely?" She let me know what she really meant with a little quirk of her lip.

"What? No."

Her smirk dropped. She was disappointed. I lowered my eyes, trying not to give in just so she wouldn't look at me that way.

Fei glanced in Seojun's direction, and he followed after the man, cracking his knuckles. The humans didn't notice his departure.

"Now are we ready to begin?" Fei queried. "This might disturb you, but do not fret, it will be over... like that."

She walked up to the remaining male, leaned down and bit into his throat. The mother and daughter gasped and shrieked, faltering back, but Sam and Taya caught their wrists, restrained them.

Fei let the man drop, his blood smeared over her mouth. "Just like that."

The humans kept screaming as Fei approached them. I had to turn away, I had to walk away. Their hearts were pumping so fast, blood was spilling out of them. Eventually they were all down, thrashing against the cold ground.

"Good job," Fei said to the nomads. "You're improving. I wasn't expecting so much success, actually."

"You underestimate us too much, Mrs. Ngai," Taya said.

"It's insulting," Seojun added, returning from the woods. He smelled of cologne but the man's body was nowhere to be seen.

"Insulting? Tsk, so sensitive." Fei smiled, the slightly superior yet comforting one, the one I had known for years. She smiled it at them. "Take their bodies away, meet back at the site."

They all said yes ma'am and saluted like mindless little minions. Fei turned back to me, wiping the blood away with her sleeve.

"That wasn't so bad, was it, Felix? I hope it has swayed you in our direction. Your efforts are appreciated."

"Er. Yeah."

A quick nod. "Alright. Good evening."

She almost turned but I asked her to stop. I didn't know what I was doing, I knew it was wrong, but at the same time I knew what I wanted. I wanted to see her proud of me again.

"About next time," I murmured.

"There will be a next time?"

"Yeah. And I want to recruit for you, too."

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fun fact, the picture i attached at the top is the real st. luke's church in 1920s newcastle. idk if i've said it yet but a lot of the photos i use are the actual places that appear in the book..... except when they're random images i found on google 🤡

also -- staaaaaay happy belated birthday!!

see ya next time