Peter should have expected the appearance; he should have seen it coming It was only common sense. Of course, his father would find an excuse to visit his beloved son. The apartment was new to them, after all.

Peter Parker was adopted, but that did not change a thing. When his parents died, he was given to his uncle–the infantile yet intimidating billionaire. Tony Stark was the definition of a helicopter parent. It was severe, and it would always cause trouble. But the other option was Peter's drunk, overweight, outspoken uncle. The family agreed the educated, wealthy Tony Stark was a more favorable option than the rest of the litter.

Tony had brought groceries from an expensive marketplace in the city. Gourmet meals, fresh produce, and pristine cutlery appeared as he placed the fine boxes on Peter's counter. He spent his valuable time throwing other delicacies into the chaotic mess of a fridge. It was as if he wanted to take as much time as possible.

"The human body must socialize, kid. I mean, have you seen your uncle? You need people around you to immerse yourself. He lived up alone in the mountains for years, and now look at him." Tony threw a box of cereal aggressively, but it made it to the pantry. Come morning, Peter expected the fruity flakes to be shattered. "Chubby, insensitive, and loud."

Peter groaned.

"We don't need you walking around bare-ass naked at a family reunion too," Tony added.

"I am immersing myself, Dad. You don't have to worry. I'm meeting my neighbors and getting to know a few people."

"Only a few? Are you lying? You're a recluse." Literally. "This isn't like school. You can't lie to me anymore, kid."

"I am not lying. Ad stop calling me that."

"Can you give me a name? More than an imaginary one. I remember your imaginary high school friends, so you can't trick me."

"I can," Peter said in true confidence–a matter-of-fact. He lifted his chin as he said the following. He could only stare at Tony from the couch, arrogance clear. "The landlord chick that lets her dog shit everywhere, Wade, the weird skinny guy down the hall that has the American flag taped to his door, 'n that reporter dude by the mailboxes. Eddie, I think. That's all so far but I promise I am immersing myself just fine. Not that I have been here long."

"Wade?" Tony frowned, reaction immediate, rude, and abrupt.

Peter hummed.

"What is his last name?"

"For the last time, I am not lying!"

"If you are not lying," that large black eyebrow raised, "then you will tell me his name."

"Wade Wilton...Will," stammered Peter, "Wilson?"

"Wade Wilson." Tony clarified.

"Yeah," Peter nodded.

"Wade Wilson." Stark tested the words on his lips, barely emitting a noise.

At that point, Peter began tuning him out.

"Well," Tony stopped with the groceries. "That's it. You're moving. I will pay for the transfer to a complex of your choice," said Tony, giving an exasperated sigh. "I wanted you closer anyway. You deserve more than this neighborhood."

"What?"

"You heard me, Peter. You can afford so much better than this place anyway."

"What's it to you? What do you know about Wade Wilson?" Peter argued, clearly growing upset. No, it was definitely not because of Wade. He would not defend the man who threatened to kill him. They were not friends. In fact, they were totally not friends. The interactions totally meant nothing to Peter. He blamed the stress of moving. That had to be it. Wade was just an acquaintance. Definitely.

"I'm in the weapons industry and I have an in with the government. My technology is advanced, and my heroism approved. Of course, I know about Wade Wilson."

"Like what? What do you know?"

Tony's eyes widened. "Ah-no. No, no, no."

Peter raised an eyebrow.

"No, Peter. Not getting it from me. Too dangerous. The less you know the better. He ain't a social butterfly."

"Wow, Dad. Thank you for curing my curiosity with more mystery. That really makes sense."

"Quit it. You're barely an adult and the distance doesn't suit you. I don't even know why you left. You're more protected in my part of the city. Hell, you could live next to Happy."

"Yes, because he is such a ray of sunshine."

Tony narrowed his eyes and pointed a finger (as if saying 'stop that, young man') before moving on, "Just take my advice. I know better than you in this particular situation."

"I'll have you know that I can take care of myself. I have been in worse situations that I can't even tell you about. We both have our secrets. I guess I don't have to share either."

Tony brushed it off, focusing more on the rage brewing in his gut. "No. You start packing tonight. You're getting out of here, and that's the end of it. I'll bring a Stark truck to help move your belongings."

"No."

"What did you just say to me?" Tony scoffed, his need for control clear and noticeable as if it had been a cloudless sky.

"I'm not your adopted child anymore. I'm Peter Parker. I need to 'leave the nest' sooner or later. Wade and I get along, and I promise I won't cause trouble. If I do," Peter trailed off, "well, then you can say 'I told you so', because I'm sure you're just dying to do that by now."

"I will drag you out of this house."

"I'd like to see you try."

"That's it." Tony headed for the door, rubbing his clammy palms on his tight jeans. "Truck will be here tomorrow."

"Really, you're going to act like the child?"

"This is so far from childish," Tony defended, turning briefly to face his adopted son. After he had made his point, he reached for the chipped, silver doorknob with a grimace.

"You said it's a bad neighborhood," Peter muttered, voice faint. "I would hate for Deadpool to like slash your tires and all."

Tony froze, movements growing impossibly still. "Deadpool?"

Holy shit-fuck-damn. Peter let a few swears he had learned slip from his mouth–courtesy of Wade. The interchangeable names got to him like a sick game. It was the proper definition if a mistake. Finally, he concluded, "As I said, Wade and I get along. Did you not hear that part?"

Now he just wanted to anger Tony.

There was a pregnant pause. Peter could hear footsteps above them.

"I'm installing my security system tomorrow. Call it a compromise." With that, Tony left. He slammed the door loudly, rattling the frame.

Peter heard the intense laughter from the apartment above. It was followed by an ironic, "I'm fucked." Wade giggled again, chuckling only at his own misfortune.