The handwriting is quickly scribbled and messy.

Dear Diary,

Something horrible happened. I messed up BAD. Really BAD.

Last night, when the three of us were having dinner together like we did everyday, Boss seemed to be suspicious about something. I didn't really pay attention to what.

Boss hasn't really done anything to Lust besides leashing him everyday to make sure he doesn't escape. He actually treats Lust fairly well, which constantly surprises me since Boss is not prone to niceness. Probably still trying to gain his trust.

But now I realised what was making Boss so suspicious. I didn't realise I had a echo flower petal stuck to the bottom of one of my sneakers. I probably accidentally stepped on one while we were there yesterday.

I realised that too late. Of course Boss would be suspicious. We hadn't been there in years, and I was supposed to be attending to my sentry stations.

Today, while I was sitting at my sentry station in Hotland, like I usually do for the first few minutes of my shift before going to get Lust, Boss actually appeared for the first time in weeks.

I wad super nervous of course, but I pretended like everything was normal, like I had been manning my stations like a good little sentry for the past weeks.

He came up to my station and immediately grabbed the collar of my jacket, pulling me across the countertop. "What have you been doing, Sans?" He demanded, his eyelights glowing dangerously with red magic.

I swallowed convulsively. "Wh-What?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Why were you in the echo flower fields?" Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit.

"H-Heh, whadaya mean, Boss? I haven't-" I choked off as he pulled me closer. "I swear Sans. If you are lying to me, I will hurt you so bad that you will be begging me to dust you."

I gasped, my eyelights bulging a little as Boss's grip began to suffocate me. "N-N-No, Boss please!"

He pulled me over the counter, slamming me to the ground. I whimpered from the impact, my skull ringing and everything blurring around me.

"One more time. What were you doing in the echo flower fields?" I whimpered pathetically, shaking in fear. I couldn't tell him. If I did, then Lust would get hurt too.

He brought up a boot and kicked me hard in the ribs. I wailed painfully, curling in on myself. "Boss, please, I-" He kicked me again, summoning a bone construct to slap me across the face in the process. I screamed again, feeling blood trickling down my face.

He began a barrage of assault on me, kicking and hitting and punching and everything just hurt. It hurt so bad and I was screaming my throat raw and begging him to stop but he wouldn't. He kept going until finally, finally, he stopped.

I groaned painfully, blood trickling down from everywhere. My skull, my ribs, my arms. I could barely see through the blood dribbling down my face. My sockets were dark as I breathed in shakily.

"Now Sans." Boss's voice was almost scarily soft. "What have you been doing these past few weeks?"

I trembled in fear, weak from the beating. I was sure that I was on the edge of life right now. There was no way I was going through another beating like that without dusting. And the one thing that scared me more than Boss was dying.

I hated myself, but I broke down right then and there. I told him everything, how Lust was an alternate version of me, what his world was like, how Lust had been sexually abused and now, how he couldn't even love anyone anymore because of it.

I said everything, and through it all, I was sobbing because I knew I was betraying the one I loved for fear of death. I was so pathetic and weak.

Boss listened to everything with an eerily calm expression. When I had finished, his expression still did not change, but he motioned for me to get up and follow.

I staggered to my feet, almost falling back down again. Everywhere hurt and I could barely stand. I could see that a trail of blood was following me from the many wounds that had just been inflicted upon me.

Boss picked me up and set me on the counter of my station, leaning me against one of the support beams. He began to heal me, as he always did after he beat me up. Otherwise, I'd just be fresh meat with my already low 10 HP.

Once all of the wounds were healed, he handed me a cloth to rub off all of the excess blood left behind. I felt numb and my body still ached, but I wasn't in extreme pain like I was earlier.

As I was wiping off the blood from my face, I could feel something new. A long, vertical crack ran from the top of my skull to the top of my left socket, small hairline fractures following it along the way. That was gonna leave a permanent mark. 

"C'mere, you disbehaving bitch." I shuddered at the threatening tone underlying his words. "We're going home." 

"N-Now?" Our work didn't end until at least 6 more hours. If we skipped out now, Undyne would probably have our heads. "Yes. I have some things to attend to at home that we can't wait for. Undyne will understand." 

I gulped. Oh no. There was really nothing worthwhile at home unless we were at home, except for Lust. He was going to do something to Lust. I just knew it. 

I was so scared. I didn't want him to hurt Lust, but I knew that if I spoke out right now, he would hurt me again. And my body was still aching from the beating from before. I remember that struggled breath when I was certain that one more blow would've had me turned to dust. 

And so, because of the pathetic little wuss that I was, I didn't say anything. I only followed behind him numbly, thinking of all the horrible things he might do to Lust and how I was too much of a wimp to do anything about it. 

After what seemed like the longest time, we finally arrived at our house in Snowdin. Boss opened the door, letting himself inside and almost slamming the door on me as I followed my way behind. He made a straight line to where Lust would be sitting, leashed up, in the corner of our living room. 

Boss approached the smaller skeleton, who was sitting in the corner staring off at something. He didn't even seem surprised that we were home early. The only acknowledgement he gave us was a blank stare at me. His face conveyed no emotion, but I could still feel my guilt well up inside me.

"Pet, I am going to move you into my room. I think it's been long enough for you sleeping out here in the living room." Lust finally looked up, his face devoid of any expression whatsoever. I marveled at how good he was at keeping a neutral face. 

He didn't say anything as Boss unleashed him and picked him up. I could see Lust tensing when Boss touched him, but he didn't object. I followed behind at a safe distance as he walked upstairs to his room. He didn't pay attention to me following behind him. 

Boss set Lust on his bed, where the smaller skeleton situated himself so that he was in a more comfortable position sitting cross-legged. He looked up at Boss, his face still eerily devoid of any expression. It was almost defeated, as if he already knew what was going to happen next and was just waiting for it to come.

Boss finally turned around, acknowledging that I was there. He narrowed his sockets, his aura still radiating off waves of hate. I swallowed nervously.

"What are you still doing here? Get the fuck out." He spat, glaring at me balefully. I started, stammering mumbled apologies before backing out the door. He slammed it shut in my face.

What was gonna happen to Lust? I went into my room, which was right next to Boss's room. Thankfully, the walls of our house were pretty thin, so if I leaned my skull against the wall between our rooms, I'd be able to hear what was going on in there.

"I've been letting you off easy for far too long. As my pet, you should be obedient. But you went somewhere without my permission." I cringed fearfully from the obvious dangerous tone of Boss, fearing for the other's life.

"I think it's about time I discipline you." Oh no. This couldn't be good. I heard fabric rustling, as if cloth were being moved. Then the distinctive sound of bone running over bone.

Lust's breath hitched, but other than that, no other sound came out of him. What was Boss doing?

"There, that's right. Form a pretty little cock for me, my pet." I heard Boss purr. Oh my God. This couldn't be happening. I felt my soul clench painfully at the thought of what was going on in there.

Boss hummed appreciatively. "What a pretty purple." I heard him shift, and then an unusual sound (bone against ecto-flesh?). Lust gasped slightly, but he was actually fairly quiet for someone being sensitively touched.

"Hmm, seems that Sans was right. You are pretty experienced with these kind of things. Guess I'll have to find a different way to make you fall apart." Lust's breathing actually stumbled, probably from the surprise at this new information. Boss knew. He knew everything.

A soft squelching sound came through the wall and Lust actually moaned loudly in surprise. I could imagine the look of shock on his face.

"Have you never had something inside of you? I've only put two fingers in, and already, you seem much more responsive. You've had anal sex before, haven't you?" The look on Lust's face must've said everything. "Oh, you haven't! Then this will be very.. interesting.."

The distinctive sound of a zipper being pulled down could be heard. I inhaled sharply. Oh fuck no! This really couldn't be happening right now! Please tell me this wasn't happening!

I curled up on my mattress, putting my hands over my non-existent ears. I didn't want to hear this; I didn't want it! But unfortunately, as I said before, the walls of our house were really thin, and I could still hear everything going on in the next room.

For the first time, Lust finally spoke. "N-No.. d-d-don't do this.." I could hear the fear completely saturating his voice. "Pl-Please, just.. AHHH!"

I knew that was the moment Boss had penetrated Lust. I could hear the fast, frantic breathing from Lust. I could even see the tears threatening to spill over his sockets. 

The squelching sounds intensified, and I could hear Lust crying out painfully. "Ah-hhh! St-Stop, It h-h-hurts!" Lust's pleas dissolved into moans and sobs, but the sounds only increased in pace.

Lust was crying freely now, slick sounds underlying his loud moans and cries. He was trying to tell him to stop, but he couldn't control his vocal chords. All he could manage was a wet scream, and more sounds of pain interlaced with pleasure.

It was so horrible to listen to, but ashamedly, his voice still managed to sound beautiful and melodic to me, even when he reached a different octave as he screamed in pain.

"That's right, pet. Take it like a good little boy." The sneer in Boss's voice was obvious. He apparently was enjoying every second of this.

"Nghhhh.." Lust was still crying, his moans broken up with hitching sobs. "Ah.. You're so fucking tight.." Boss growled as Lust whimpered fearfully.

"H-hh-ahhh.. mMPH!" I could hear Lust's muffled moans as Boss assumedly kissed him. The slick sounds of their tongues tangling together were broken by Lust's whimpers.

"Mm.. You taste so sweet, pet. Not quite like sugar. More subtle than that." Lust panted heavily, not answering him. Boss tsked, and the mattress creaked as he moved a little.

"You look positively tired, pet. I think you've had enough for today." Another squelching sound could be heard as he pulled himself out of Lust. I heard him gasp painfully, then fall silent, his breathing wheezing softly in exhaustion.

The door to Boss's room clicked, and I heard him leave the room, his boots clicking down the hall. He was probably going to get washed up and then prepare dinner.

I hesitantly peeled my arms away from my skull. I hadn't realised that I had curled up into a super tight, tense ball, my arms over my head. I felt like my soul had been punched over and over, although nothing had happened to me.

Stretching out my stiff limbs, I tiptoed out into the hall, looking both ways. Boss was nowhere to be seen. I could hear the distant sound of water running far off in the bathroom.

Walking as quietly as possible, I opened the door slowly, then peeked in.

On Boss's bed, Lust lay sprawled naked, his clothes discarded on the floor. His ribs rose up and down weakly, and although his sockets were open, they were lidded and as black as night. Tears ran down his face.

As I approached, I didn't know whether to cry to blush madly. Lust's ecto-flesh was still summoned, his purple length glowing faintly and his opening dribbling out red and purple cum. It stained the bedsheets underneath him with their colours.

"L-L-Lust.." I felt like I was choking. I couldn't form my words properly. Lust turned his skull towards my voice, small pinpricks of light coming back to his sockets.

"Fell..?" His eyelights grew bigger, until I could finally make out their heart-shapes. He smiled at me weakly, actually happy to see me.

I could feel my soul breaking. How could he even look at me like that when he knew that I was the reason this happened? And I knew that he knew. He was a smart skeleton, and Boss's slip of words weren't very vague.

He reached a wavering hand out to me. I came closer, until he could touch me. He pulled me down so he could see me better.

Lust's gentle smile turned into a small frown as he looked at me. Why was he frowning? Did he just realise that should be mad at me instead of smiling like I was his best friend?

But he only reached up and traced the new crack on my skull. He looked at me, his violet eyelights full of sadness.

"I'm sorry he did this to you. It's all my fault.." Wait, what? I wasn't sure if I was hearing this right. That was literally the same thing I had been thinking earlier, except in reverse.

"Wh-What? L-Lust, if anyone's at fault here, it's me! I was weak and pathetic and I told him because I was a wuss and I couldn't keep my mouth shut because I'm a fucking wimp and I was more afraid of dying than betraying you.."

"Shhh.." Lust put a finger on my mouth. "It's alright." I could feel hot tears running down my face. Because it was not alright. None of this was alright, but I couldn't do anything about it. And it only made me feel worse because Lust was consoling me when he was the one who had just been fucking raped.

Lust looked tired, so very tired, but he was struggling to stay awake because I was there. I didn't want him to do more than he had to, so I sniffed, wiping my sockets with my sleeve, and got up.

Lust let go on my arm, looking at me sadly. "I'm so sorry." He said quietly. "If I hadn't come here, this wouldn't have happened to you." I knew he was referring to my new crack.

"Lust.. stop talking about the fucking crack. It's really nothing." I frowned, but I couldn't stay mad at him. I sat down on the edge of the bed again, watching his tired eyelights scan my face.

"Go to sleep. You look exhausted." I took his hand in mine, squeezing it tightly. He looked up at me, his eyelights hazing with drowsiness. He smiled softly again and closed his sockets, bringing my hand closer to him.

I watched the rise and fall of his ribs. How sad was it that he could still trust me after that?

...

How sad was it that I still wanted him to?