Hey Guys, Red Here.

Oh boy am I stressed about a lot of things.
Not counting the fact I'm at college six days a week then at work afterwards three days a week and they have taken OVER MY LIFE!

I won't be able to update this weekend like I normally would with my new 'schedule'. I normally explain why in the profile message boards why but honest truth, I can't explain it very well with the two-thousand character limit the message board gives you.

Okay, let me explain why I can't update this weekend. This may even affect NEXT weekend btw.

So as most people know I'm disabled. I'm ill mentally and physically. Hell, I've been in and out of WHEELCHAIRS. HOSPITAL and SURGERY since I was FIVE years old. Well in the UK, South East area of the Uk that is, the people in charge of giving out the title of 'disabled' and giving out money to help us because WE CAN BARLEY FUCKING LIVE are called 'PIP'. Well, their longer name is 'Personal Independence Payment'. Yes, Red kinda works but it's not a complete full job because I have doctors from all over saying I medically can't work.

So Red volunteers at an art charity that help and work with lots of children, many I meet are those who are ill and disabled. I also help out with paperwork because I'm good at that stuff and I'm normally bored at the weekends. On top, the owners of the charity are FAMILY FRIENDS who are always in need of more staff, plus they let me help out there when everywhere else would say no due to doctors fully stating I cannot work and won't let me until THEY say so. It's a pain in the ass honestly but if I had a proper job every day of the week like normal people I would be in a coma.

Yeah, it's happened to me before. Red will never try doing certain jobs ever again. Well, the end of last year I finally gained my fucking disabled title back. Because it was taken from me due to the fact that I could walk better than I used to. Yes, the government think just because you can walk a little better and more than normal you are fit to go out there and do shit yourself instead of bothering to help you even A LITTLE. So took me nearly dying for them to go "shit we should help her out".

I had gotten a two year long 100% disability returned to me. Since my illness is known to get better with certain people (it KILLS people too by the way) they have to check up on me every two-three years just to see how I'm doing and if I need more money, less money or extra help around the house etc, etc. Well, fuck me because instead of waiting until the END OF NEXT YEAR like they meant to do, I'm seeing them this weekend and NEXT weekend. They want to have a 'meeting' to talk about my 'claims' as they put it.

You see the UK Prime Minister is a bitch as it is and hates disabled people. She's made it to where people DYING FROM CANCER can't gain help from disability because she believes people who are DYING should just 'get over it' and 'just go work'. God this woman doesn't even believe in mental illnesses and somehow runs this country. Once out the EU fully the UK will go downhill so fast it will be the end of this country and many of us will die because we let something do what she pleased with us.

But the rules of being disabled, getting help, getting money (mostly used to pay for medical stuff and medication anyway) are very tight. Like EXTREMELY tight. Like hell, I know people who are worse than ME and lost their disability because they helped someone out in their old workplace. Some lost it because they did GARDENING or HOUSEWORK aka cleaning, cooking etc. It really is hard to get this help. It doesn't help that people WHO DON'T need this help lie and pretend shit to get the help.

I'm being serious I know people who only have a small problem that didn't affect the fact they did work, they could walk fine and for real HAD NO MEDICAL PROBLEMS come to me telling me how they 'cheated' the government and FAKED being ill to get this help. That is wrong. I HATE the fact I need to ask PIP for help. I HATE IT. I cannot medically help it since the doctors took all my ability to have a job, I'm in and out of wheelchairs, I need help with paying bills and medication etc.

I legit have no choice in this matter. I've always hated that. I've always had to rely on people to help me since I'm ill, I hate it with such a strong passion but in the end, that is what life throws at me when I was born. Genetics are great! The only reasons PIP ask for early 'meetings' is when people report you for FAKING being ill or if a doctor writes a letter saying you can work again. I haven't gotten a doctors letter about work in three years. My doctor hates me when I ask about working again. Hell, he would put me in the hospital easily when I try to find a way to work again.

I did nearly die. Many...many times. What's great is I know who the fuck reported me. They do it EVERY THREE YEARS. Not just to me but my mother as well. People in the discord server will know that my mother is badly ill and disabled too, she's worse off than me even. This person reports both of us every three years. My mother is in the hospital twice a week from how ill she is, proving to PIP she is ill and doesn't need these 'meetings' to check up. I go to the hospital but for appointments. I've been away from A&E for the last five months.

I'm proud of that. That's a record. I used to be rushed up there like legit every four days. I now just have appointments every two days. Might sound bad but it's an approvement from what it used to be. PIP sadly because of they lying people and our shitty leader have to check up on us. They HAVE NO CHOICE altogether. The 'big' 'boys' and 'girls, the ones who are in charge of this country make the rules about all of this. I understand the whole people who really do lie about being ill just so they can get benefits but when you have people who've been ill since childhood, have evidence added onto their case (which they see) EVERY TWO DAYS!

I believe that is so...WRONG. Like there are people who need help due to the fact they can die or because they have no choice cannot work anymore. Because I don't get rushed to A&E anymore they full on to believe I would LIE about this! (A&E is emergency services, basically, you are rushed there if you get stabbed, call 999/911, have a serious problem, etc). What is wrong about this, is the stress of knowing who the fuck is trying to frame me ONCE AGAIN. What is really wrong, is THEY ARE MY BLOOD-RELATED FAMILY!

She's been fucking hell-bent on ruining mine and my mother's life since I got her little fuck-boy of a husband thrown in jail for hitting me as a child. Hell dude tried to KILL MY NAN! Like how the fuck do you not stress about this? Impossible. You will.

^This turned into a really big rant

In the end, I'm gonna have to deal with all these meetings, doctors appointments, tests and blood tests this weekend and next weekend. So I cannot promise that I will be able to update, I know for a fact this weekend will be hard and next weekend will be harder. I might be able to update on Sunday night but like, I cannot promise a thing. A huge part of my illness as well, getting stressed, scared, worried, upset, angry etc can make you so ill that you put in the hospital for a week. (Has happened to me before).

(People who read the book 'His Secret' knows that can happen). I really am going to try and update still but if I vanish for the next two weeks and weekends then I'm in the hospital due to the stress of dealing with bullshit.

On another note to add to the stress!

Wattpad Coins.

The stupidest thing wattpad has ever decided to do. More information finally is out about this and I hate it with such a passion it hurts. I know many people don't have the wattpad phone app or joined the beta so let me explain it much better than wattpad have.

One;
Wattpad had added coins that the readers (you) can buy from them. These coins were first added to help keep writers around to keep them updating books and want to be part of the community but the only people who really wanted coins to be a thing are people with six-thousand or over followers with a high amount of votes and readers on ALL their books.

Two;
Wattpad and the people who have been chosen in beta (only some can do this setting right now) can edit their books and set a PRICE for either PER CHAPTER or the WHOLE BOOK. That's right set a price of WATTPAD COINS for their readers (you) TO BUY a chapter or the book. The worse thing is there isn't much of a limit to what the writers can set this price too. The coins are not honestly very cheap. The worse thing is once you pay for these chapters and the book, you are only paying FOR THAT SINGLE BOOK. You will STILL HAVE TO PAY for the OTHER BOOKS THEY WRITE.

Three;
Wattpad Coins ruin the whole reason many people use, write and read books on the site/app. Yeah, I get bigger writers with lots of readers, votes and followers want to get paid for this but to make it to where we HAVE TO PAY is one of the worse things I've seen wattpad pick to do. There was a much better and cleaner way they could've used the coins. A donations/tips button. Instead of being forced to buy chapters etc why not let readers give tips and donations to their fav writers and books? This doesn't make people WASTE money on books they may only READ ONCE and MIGHT NOT EVEN LIKE IN THE END. Once you buy it, you AREN'T getting a REFUND. NOT HAPPENING.

Four;
Like I said it's stupid. Seriously stupid. Hell wattpad may ban me for saying this but I really hate it. I really, really hate it. I started writing and reading on wattpad because it was a COMMUNITY-BASED site where it was free, where people could help each other with their skills etc. Forcing readers to feel they have to pick only certain people to now read books from and follow destroys the fact they claim to CARE about us as a community. I really don't think they thought this through. NOT EVERYONE HAS THE MONEY FOR THESE COINS!

Five;
Lucky for us, the writers pick the price and IF they use the coins. Us writers get to decide if we use this setting on our books or not. I for one AM NOT USING THIS. I refuse to use this setting on ANY of my books. I don't care how many followers I have who WOULD want to pay or would even be willing to do that, NO. JUST NO. I will not use this setting on my books, not even if I really needed money or if my life depended on it. Yes, I love writing but one; my books are bad and two; who the fuck would really use this setting? Unless you got over ten-thousand followers and ALL your books are YOUR OWN like not fanfics, not using pictures found online to help make covers, that EVERY LITTLE THING is YOUR OWN, I don't think you should use this setting on your books. Like for real, who thought this would be a good thing for a site that wants to be COMMUNITY-BASED!?!?

^And that is everything about how the coins work, what they will be used for etc. This is ALL the information we have on the coins from WATTPAD THEMSELVES. I pray they read what I think. Because honestly, it's stupid. REALLY stupid. Unless it's your own books and everything made by your damn self, every little picture on the covers and effects, etc...I think it's wrong to use this setting. Hell, I'm known for fanfics more than my very own books. I hate the idea of coins because I know many will abuse theses to gain money off their readers.

Honest truth I believe everyone who agreed to beta this like signed up to be the first to get to use the setting (other beta users can only buy the coins right now, as I can only buy coins now and early for when they comes to wattpad fully) may already be finding ways to abuse this.

So yeah. That really all. I had to let these two rants out. The coins are stupid. My government is stupid. These are just my thoughts on the coins but I will stand by my word and NEVER use them. Hell, I'm willing to stop reading anything off wattpad from now on and read from others sites. It's not hard to end the membership I have with wattpad. I have it for a year before I ever have to pay again so don't mind. I don't really mind changing to another site altogether if wattpad make these coins more of a thing and more demanding and an important factor to its site now.

Again my thoughts and how I feel. I would love to hear what you guys think of these coins. Like, be honest do any of you really want to start paying for fanfics you can easily make yourself or find people like me who won't use these coins and are willing to make the fanfics still? Do any of you really want these coins to be like this or a tip/donation thing?

Wattpad needs to hire me to bitch slap em sometimes or something. Like they thirsty for money lately or what?

~Red