Director Fury didn't know why he did it; maybe he just cared about the team more than he had ever realized. He trusted them with his life and they had never once let him down. He had to admit, when the call came from agent Clint Barton the other day about what had happened to one of his best agents, his immediate response was one of worry for Romanoff, not anger at being kept in the dark.

After giving the order of placing Romanoff in a cell, he was contacted by the Avengers to get her out of there. Fury had wanted to do a full psychological analysis on her before she was released, but somehow the Avengers had convinced him to let them handle everything. They truly believed that Natasha Romanoff was back, and that it was no longer Natalia Romanova. He had his doubts, but after contacting agent May and getting her input, he agreed to have Romanoff released into their care. Director Fury was touched at how close his team was; they were closer than ever. This decision was not by the book, but when you are the director of SHIELD, your actions are not challenged. It also helped that these events were also classified and only a handful of people knew about the situation. He would of course be visiting them soon enough for debriefing.

A few hours after the call was placed, Romanoff was moved to a private room in the medical wing and gave the Avengers access. After she was released from the medical wing, she would instead go to her own room in the tower and not be escorted to the SHIELD base for monitoring.

XXXXXX

The Avengers were all gathered in the common room watching a movie and trying not to think about the call Tony had placed to Fury earlier that day. They knew that this could either be bad for them, or be good for them, with no room for interpretation. They were afraid of making the director mad and him having Natasha removed from the tower completely. When Tony's phone rang, everyone jumped in nervous surprise and the room went dead quiet as they listened in on the phone conversation.

"Hey there Tony, it's Maria Hill."

"Umm, hey there Maria, how is Fury doing today? I heard he recently got a new eye patch, that's exciting huh? And how are you? We haven't heard from you in a while, got to be busy handling all of Fury's things huh?" Tony was nervous, he was wondering why Maria was calling instead of Fury. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. The rest of the team looked just as nervous as they listened to the conversation on speaker phone.

"Cut the shit Tony, do you want to know or not?" She asked in her usual blunt way.

"Yes, we want to know, sorry."

"I don't know how you did it but you guys won. Romanoff is out of the cell and is currently in her own private room in the medical wing. You guys have complete access and when she wakes up, Fury wants you guys to be there. She can go back to her room up there with you guys when she's ready."

Tony couldn't believe what he had just heard; the rest Avengers couldn't believe it either since they had listened in as well. "Thank you Maria, thank you so much. And thank Fury for us; I'm sure he doesn't want us to bother him by calling."

"No problem; and Tony?" she asked.

"Yea Hill?"

"Let me know how she's doing, keep me updated. She's had my back countless times and I want her to know that I have hers."

"Will do Hill, thank you." Tony was in shock, Fury would have never allowed this for anyone else. He didn't dwell on it for too long though, he wanted to see his friend.

After they disconnected, it was a race to the medical wing, literally. Tony was in the lead closely followed by Clint and then Steve. Thor picked up Darcy into his arms and was rushing after them with Jane coming up last. It was quite awkward when they were in the elevator but as soon as the doors opened, the race was back on.

They all made it to Natasha's room at about the same time and entered quietly as well as in a more civil manner than how they got there. Natasha was still in a medically induced coma and looked peaceful. She had deep bruising all over her body and she was still bandaged up. Her color was back though and her breathing was more normal.

After meeting with Natasha's doctor, it was decided to let her wake up from the coma. He said that it could take all day for her to finally wake but the team didn't care, they would be by her side through it all.

Sitting in their chairs around the bed, they chatted quietly amongst themselves, though Darcy was the first to speak up.

XXXXXX

Darcy couldn't help but remember the things Natasha had said after the Winter Soldier had plunged the knife into the red heads stomach. "My name is Natasha, and you just gave me what I wanted; death. Now I can join my daughter."

The Black Widow wanted to die. The look that she had on her face told Darcy that she was actually happy about dying. And she had a daughter? She 'wanted to join her daughter', so was her daughter dead? Is that why she wanted to die? Darcy started piecing things together and decided that whatever Loki gave back to her was the memory of her daughter. She couldn't be sure but one thing she did know, Natasha might do anything to die. Once she realizes what she did to her team and then what happened to her daughter, she thought that would be enough to make anyone take their life; Darcy couldn't let that happen.

"Hey guys?" she asked sheepishly.

They all looked at her as she spoke.

"Maybe we should restrain her again, just in case I mean."

Tony looked at her with what he thought was understanding. "Darcy, you don't have to be afraid of her, its Natasha, you said so yourself."

"I know, but it's not that. What if she tries to hurt herself? I mean, she did put all you guys on your asses, almost killed yall, and Bruce is still in his coma..." She layed it all out but kept the most important part out; Natasha may not want anyone to know.

Tony then understood what she was saying. They all talked it over and then agreed with the decision to restrain Natasha. Clint did the honors and then they all settled back in and waited for her to wake up.

XXXXXX

Natasha was in a coma for a total of six days. Internally, she felt like she was floating on a cloud some of the time, and then at other times felt like her insides were on fire. It went on like this every day and around the time she was due for pain meds in her IV, she layed paralyzed in extreme pain, unable to move or wake up. She heard voices some of the time but they sounded muffled and she was always too tired from the pain to try and make sense of it. She hoped that whatever was going on that she would die soon, though she wasn't exactly sure why she wanted to; thinking was just too hard.

At some point, Natasha's mind started to clear and external feeling started to return to her body. Her insides felt like they were on fire, but she was used to that. She started to feel other things, like the cushion of a bed beneath her and the softness of the sheets that covered her body. She then started to feel the scratchy bandages on her body and then the pain from underneath them.

As soon as she started to feel that new pain she tensed up and then smells invaded her senses. She smelled the chemical scent of cleaning products, and the metallic smell she always associated with a hospital. Was she in a hospital? She assumed so but her eyes wouldn't open yet for her to find out.

A deafening sound then tore through her senses and she felt her body flinch. It kept repeating over and over until it started to fade out to a dull beeping. It was annoying but she decided that it wasn't as loud as she had originally thought. Maybe it was just a monitor she was hooked up to?

All of these senses returned in phases until she felt as if her body would finally respond to her commands. After a few tries, she was finally able to open her eyes, and what she saw was a room full of people surrounding her on all sides.

XXXXXX

It was near 9 o'clock at night when Natasha's monitors started beeping. It was a soft beeping noise but it alerted the team to a change in their friend's vitals. Her blood pressure started to rise to a normal level and her breathing evened out. Her brain waves showed increased activity and they knew that all of that meant that she was close to waking up.

The team all watched her anxiously. She tensed up at one point but the doctor had said that she may do that when she started to feel the pain. She would feel the pain more now since she wasn't in such a deep sleep. After a few more minutes of waiting, the team smiled as Natasha's eyes fluttered open.

XXXXXX

The moment Natasha's eyes opened, the team breathed out a sigh of relief. They saw confusion sweep across the woman's face as she tried to remember what had happened and what was going on. Once she pieced it all together, they saw pain flash into her eyes. Not just physical pain, psychological pain of everything that had happened.

Darcy watched as all of Natasha's emotions splayed across her face. She wasn't at all surprised when the red head demanded to for everyone to leave so she could be left alone.

Natasha started yelling at them to leave and they refused, thinking that they could ease her fears about her hurting them. Darcy knew the real reason though, this was the first time she was fully conscious since she got her full memory back.

"I'll stay with her you guys," she said after seeing the distressed look in their eyes. Tony looked as if he wanted to be the one there for her and glared at Darcy for her offer. Finally respecting Natasha's wishes, they all left with the promise of Darcy staying there to keep an eye on her. When the door closed, she walked over to her friends' bedside and put her hand over Natasha's.

Natasha pulled her hand away as far as she could and turned her head away from her.

"We know it's you Natasha and not Natalia. None of us are upset about what has happened." She was trying her best to get the woman to talk to her.

"Oh really now," Natasha finally said as she turned back to her and glared. "Then why am I restrained to this bed then?"

Taken aback by the intensity of the glare, she sat down but also moved her chair closer. "It was my idea, they didn't want to."

Tears started to well up in the red heads eyes. "I'm sorry for what she did to you, to all of you."

Darcy grabbed Natasha's hand again and this time she didn't pull it back. "That's not why I asked them to put them on, though they think that's why. Do you remember what happened on the jet with Bucky?"

Natasha closed her eyes and nodded. When she opened them again, Darcy took it as a sign to continue. "I was there with both of you."

Natasha was shocked but looked more interested in the conversation now.

"I was there with yall. I snuck aboard the jet and hid when the team went to try and find you. Yea I was still pretty beat up from when I kicked Natalia's ass in that alley but there was no way I was going to stay here when you needed help. I hid in a grate, passed out and then came to when Bucky had you tied to the wall. I heard and saw everything that happened Natasha."

Natasha took a few moments to absorb what she had said, and then it hit her. She knew why Darcy wanted her restrained.

"You heard what I said to him didn't you?" She asked Darcy with a tremble in her voice.

Darcy nodded her head and then Natasha started crying. She got up from her chair and hugged the assassin. To her surprise, Natasha leaned into her for comfort. When she finally pulled herself together, a look of fear flashed into her eyes.

"The others, do they..." Darcy cut her question off with a "No," and it seemed to relax the woman.

"I didn't tell them so no one but me knows. I'll take this secret to my grave if you want me to but I want you to know I'm here for you."

This had to be the most serious conversation Darcy had ever had with someone; she seemed to have lost her sarcasm in the seriousness of the situation. After realizing this, she pushed the thought out of her head when Natasha asked her another question.

"So what happens now?"

Darcy had no idea. "I don't know, I guess just take it one day at a time. I know that you want for your life to be over, and I'm afraid that you are going to try something. Maybe if you told me a little bit about what happened with your daughter then I might understand, maybe even change your mind?"

She watched as Natasha's face fell. Sadness just seemed to consume her and it killed Darcy that she brought it up. "I'm sorry, this is too soon, I shouldn't have asked."

The two sat in silence for a good while. Darcy was still holding Natasha's hand but the red head had her face turned away from her. She was in pain from all that had happened but she was at her limit for pain medication. Natasha just had to breathe through it. The thoughts about Ksenia didn't help; eventually though, Natasha broke the silence.

"Ksenia," Natasha said.

Darcy smiled even though she still felt horrible. "That's a beautiful name."

Though she had to stop a lot, Natasha broke down and finally explained everything that had happened since she had become pregnant. An hour had gone by as the story was told and Darcy finally started to understand how Natasha was feeling, and it was crushing. To have something you loved suddenly and violently ripped away from you... Darcy couldn't even imagine the pain Natasha was feeling right now.

"I just don't know how to get through it Darce," Natasha finished.

"I'm here and I won't leave you okay? You will get through this, we will together. No one else has to know unless you want them too."

Natasha's heart thawed out a little and she finally started to have some hope. It helped that the girl knew and she felt as if she could tell her anything. It would have been too much if the whole team knew, they would worry so much to the point where she wouldn't have been able to stand it. It was weird trusting someone new but she was genuine.

Darcy watched as Natasha was becoming fidgety. It couldn't be comfortable being restrained in place. She thought about everything that was said and decided that Natasha wasn't going to try anything, at least as long as she was there with her.

"Okay buttercup, I'll take the restraints off now, they have got to be uncomfortable, especially with your bandages rubbing underneath them." As she reached for the buckle, she saw the hesitant look in Natasha's eyes. "I'm here for you okay? I won't leave."

Natasha then allowed her to take them off and she was finally able to stretch her arms out, though carefully since the movement pulled at her stiches. She wasn't healing like Natalia was before, though she wasn't sure quite why. She would figure it out later.

It was late by the time Darcy had Natasha calmed down and comfortable enough to get some sleep. She never understood why people were still tired after they had just woken up from a coma. When she was sure that Natasha was asleep, she allowed herself to get comfortable and she drifted off to sleep as well.

The next day, Natasha felt up to some more company. The Avengers all came in and spent some time with her. She apologized for everything that had happened but they wouldn't hear it. They told her that none of it was her fault and there was no need for apologizing. Every time she tried to say something about the matter they would cut her off and change the subject; even when she asked about Bruce. They wouldn't tell her his condition but she knew Darcy would let her know later. The Avengers all thought they were protecting her from misery but she was already miserable.

One of the things that kept making her miserable was Tony's constant apologies about how sorry he was to put her through it all. Darcy saw how uncomfortable it made her every time he brought it up so she would steer the conversation away. Natasha shot her a thankful look every time. After a few hours of company, the team saw how tired she looked and said their goodbyes. Tony wanted to stay but Natasha assured him that she was fine and that Darcy would be there.

XXXXXX

After a few days in the medical wing, Natasha's doctor and nurses were more than glad to discharge her. She had been giving them hell and the rest of the team thought she was getting back to her old self. Only Darcy knew that this was just a front and that she was trying to be strong.

Darcy insisted that she move into Natasha's room with her after she was released and Natasha immediately objected. There was no way she was going to room with another person; she couldn't even stand it when she and Clint would share a room on missions. Natasha was more of a loner and didn't want to have to worry about another person in her space. The more she thought about it though, the more it started to make sense.

She knew damn well that she wasn't herself lately. All of these feelings of despair and misery were new to her and Darcy was right, she may end up doing something to herself. She had never remembered Ksenia before and now that she thought about her every day, she believed it could push her over the edge. The millions of things that were constantly running through her head could put her team in danger if danger were to arise. She would never forgive herself if something like that would happen. So many things were stirring in her mind and it was about to drive her crazy. Over and over she thought of Ksenia, her loving the feeling of plunging the knife into Bruce's body, Ksenia, the feeling of almost killing Steve, Ksenia, attacking Tony and Clint, her almost killing Darcy, Ksenia again, her reliving all of her other kills in the Red Room, more about Ksenia... She couldn't shut it off.

It was Darcy who would recognize when Natasha was losing herself and would pull her out of it. So maybe it was a good idea for her to move in.

Later that day, Natasha had moved back into her room. Most of her bruises had vanished except for a few that were now a deep purple and green that were being stubborn at fading. She had healed enough that her stitches were removed, though they needed to be bandaged for the next few days. She kicked the painkillers because the pain was a sort of distraction to her from her own mind. Her ribs still burned but they were healing, and her two stab wounds were still not out of the woods yet. She was instructed to take it slow so she wouldn't damage the new tissue growth. She wasn't allowed to pick up anything heavy or do any workouts, move a certain way, or submerge her wounds in any water. A short shower was deemed okay though.

After getting Natasha settled back into her room, Darcy asked if she would be okay by herself while she went to get some of her own things to move into the room. Natasha had an extra room in her suite that she never used so that's where Darcy would be moving to. They would both have their privacy but Darcy could still keep an eye on her.

"Are you cool if I go get some of my stuff? I'll be back before you know it." Darcy felt nervous about leaving the red head alone but thought that a few minutes wouldn't hurt.

Natasha didn't think anything of it. "Yea I'm good. I'm going to get a quick shower anyways, these stupid bandages itch and I can't wait to get them off."

Reassured, Darcy left and Natasha moved to her bathroom and started to remove her arm bandages. She swore at James the entire time that if they left a scar, she would hunt him down and give him a scar he would never forget. It looked like a scene out of a horror movie. Even though they were healing, it was unnerving to see long gashes going up your arms. She then removed her clothes and took off her other bandages, pleased to see that they weren't as gross looking.

She hissed when the warm water of her shower touched her wounds but quickly acclimated to the pain. It felt good to use her own shower after so long and she just wanted to melt into the comfort. That was short lived though when she bent over to pick up her shampoo. She forgot she wasn't supposed to move so fast and it shot a bolt of pain right into her midsection where she was stabbed. She recovered quickly but the sharp feeling reminded her of that night in the cave when Ksenia was born.

She rushed through the rest of the shower, wanting to get out of there and away from that feeling. Natasha dried off quickly but carefully and got into a new change of clothes. Starting to reapply new bandages, she stopped as tears filled her eyes and made her vision blurry. Bad thoughts started to fill her head and she had to sit down and catch her breath.

As these thoughts took over her brain, she tried to distract herself. She tried to think of other things but the only other thing that popped into her head was Loki. Where was he? And why hasn't he come to see if she was okay? Did he hate her now?

"Loki!" she screamed out in the foggy bathroom air. "Loki! I need to talk to you, please!" She waited, but no one answered. She heard Darcy return to the room so she got up and cracked the bathroom door to let her know that she was okay, though she was far from okay. If she didn't, she knew that the young girl would barge in anyways.

Darcy came to the cracked door and knocked. "Hey dude, I'm back. You okay in there?"

Putting on a face, she replied with a yes before she went and pushed the door the rest of the way open to let Darcy in.

The young girl walked in and hopped up on the bathroom counter and watched as Natasha put her fresh bandages on. Natasha caught her staring and asked in an annoyed tone, "what?"

"That looks badass. I mean look at it!" Darcy had no filter on her mouth but that was one of the things Natasha liked about her; she told things as it was.

Natasha shot her a death glare and the girls face fell in pretend hurt. It amused the red head so she smiled as she continued to finish the bandaging, forgetting the thoughts that had invaded her head only minutes before.