I would like to tell you that as I entered the darkness a flashback of my life came to me that was beautifully tragic, that dying was calm, relaxing even and that I found some kind of inner peace on my journey to the other side. But it wasn't. The pain that had tore through my body followed me and now lost in nothingness I continued to suffer. I had no sense of time so it could have been seconds, minutes or years as my body seemed to be tearing itself apart. How I was even functioning enough to take in what was happening to me was a mystery.

But then it stopped.

I was sprawled face up out on something hard, my throat was burning and I was numb. Opening my eyes I couldn't see anything. I was aware my left arm was bent above my head and my right was at my side. My legs were hanging over the edge of something as the ground felt soft and not hard like on my back. Even if I had been able to move, fear of falling would have kept me in place. What was happening? I thought back to when Marcus had been strangling me, at the point of blacking out my wolf had appeared. Was she here too? Just thinking of her gave me the ability to flex my fingers and with a great effort my arm moved along what ever it was I was laying against. It felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, numb and uncooperative. But I had moved. That was a start.

Finally the heaviness that seemed to be over my body lifted, pins and needles rushing through my legs as I came back to life. Slowly I managed to sit up, gripping on to the edge unable to see what was below me. But I didn't need to see. I sensed it. Death. I crossed my legs and shifted back, not wanting to risk falling. Now what? I reached my arm out behind me and felt nothing, moving along the floor to make sure there was more ground behind me and hesitantly I stood up. My body protested, my legs were weak and instead I went down on my hands and knees, slowly crawling around the dark space. There had to be something around here. Panic started to set in and soon I was curled into a fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably, mumbling for someone to help me. I wanted to go home. I didn't just feel alone, I felt like a part of me was missing and it scared me more than the darkness and the stench of death that seemed to be following.

A low whine soon caught my attention, my cries shifting to the occasional sob as I focused on where the sound had come from. Again the animal like noise was heard and not thinking, with great lack of agility I got up again and started to run as best my body would allow me. The noise was more of a yelp now, a howl leading me. It was her. My wolf. My shaky legs soon gave out from underneath me and I fell hard. Cursing out loud as new pain shot through my legs as I fell. Opening my eyes, I closed them again as bright light assaulted my eyes. Carefully I opened them again and waited for my eyes to adjust before trying to look around. I was in a forest. Tall lean trees surrounded me, the ground covered in leaves and shrubs I was lost. Her bark like howl came to me again, echoing around the silent world. I had to find her.

The closer I got the stronger I felt, my steps improving until I was able to jog and soon after I finally saw her. The forest opened into a field of green, dots of purple and white flowers added to the serenity of the area as a light mist hovered in the air from the nearby waterfall and the sun filtered down sending warm beams of light around us. It was beautiful. The white wolf was sitting by the river that flowed through the clearing and as she heard me, she turned and stared. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. My grandparents used to have a golden retriever and when ever I got home from school it would run up to the door before you had even finished walking up the path and the second you were inside he would shower you in kisses and crave your attention. For something that was meant to be apart of me, I thought she would be happier to see me. But instead she just stared.

Her color also intrigued me. I thought she would be black like Williams. I tried to remember the dreams where I had been in a wolf form but it was blank. Yet when I saw her with Marcus she had come from the darkness. So here she was – white. She turned so we were face on to each other; her curious eyes watched me before finally she lay down casually, her head resting on her outstretched paws. Just watching. I had taken three steps towards her, unsure of what else to do when her headshot up, eyes squinting she tensed looking behind me. I froze, a growl rumbling from within her chest and she finally got up and started to stalk towards me.

'Turn around' her familiar voice came to me and so hesitantly I turned around, my heart stopped and I fell to my knees unable to prevent the sobs that shook my body. This wasn't real. My wolf was standing protectively over me, her eyes pinned flat as she glared at the approaching figure cautiously. My Dad.

"Eli" he spoke softly but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. If he was here, I was definitely dead. I wasn't sure if I could handle that yet. Looking up I saw white wolf legs beside my father's jean covered ones. Following them up they lead to a grey and white wolf with yellow eyes. He was my Dads wolf. The white one beside me had relaxed now and she leapt towards him, bumping heads affectionately the new wolf licked her forehead before nudging her softly.

"Oh my baby girl" Dads voice pulled my attention from the playing wolves, his arms just as strong and comforting as I remember and I fell against his chest crying more. He gently stroked my hair, muttering soothing words until finally I could stand to look at him.

"I'm dead aren't I" I stated, sighing heavily I thought of James. He lost his Dad and his sister. That wasn't fair.

"Your Mum had sought to remove Williams wolf like she did to me. You are not one of our kind yet so the hit was a bit harder for you when you did that" he explained. So it wasn't to kill him, it was to kill his wolf? As if reading my mind Dad nodded.

"Try not to be mad, she was faced with what she feared most with her little girl. She acted on instinct" Though any hint of being on her side was missing from his voice. He didn't agree with it.

"Why did you do that to your wolf then Dad?" If that was the pain they had to go through to be 'human' it was not worth it. He frowned at the question and looked away, I knew he wanted me to drop it and I wanted to make the most of my time with him but I couldn't focus on that now.

"For her. But it broke me too, not just him," he gestured to his wolf who was bouncing around with mine like pups. "I never knew it would be like that. They all promised it wouldn't hurt, that nothing would change other than I would age and be able to be with her. But they lied. There is a reason our kind are wary of witches" he finished bitterly.

I only nodded at his words. I felt no love from him referring to Mum now and as his words filled my mind I realized I could read his. 'stupid lying witch, now she almost kills our daughter' he mumbled. As I felt his anger grow fresh the wolves stopped and came over to us cautiously. Noticing all three of us staring at him he snapped out of his thoughts, frowning.

"Your wolf is apart of you. She has her own mind but you are both connected. Until you change you will struggle with this but listen to her. She will not lead you astray purposefully. He was blinded by the mate bond, and refused to acknowledge she could do us wrong. I hope yours does not make the same mistake" My wolf whined then at his words and inched closer to me but not touching. She hesitated with the closeness. Noticing Dad smiled.

"Most become aware of their wolf within a few months before their first change. You need to learn to accept its presence ready for when you come together. It is strange she has emerged in you so early but I can only imagine how much stronger you will be" I looked over to her and meeting my gaze she looked away, dropping her head slightly and I knew it was submission. Taking this as a sign, I crouched down so she was taller than me now and extended my hand. Dad and his wolf watched curious. For every step she took forward she took one back. The closer she got I noticed the faint trail of dark grey hair along her spine. She was beautiful.

The second she touched my hand I felt renewed, like I had just had twenty red bulls and they had literally given me wings. Turning to Dad I was grinning like a mad woman and threw my arms around her, holding her tight. She licked my chin, her tail wagging and I knew I would never be like my Dad and get rid of her. Even if she was willing for us to do it, I couldn't loose her. But what if I already had?

"You will overcome the magic Elizabeth. You have that in you too unfortunately" I left her and ran to him, throwing my arms around his waist and he pulled me close.

"I am so proud of you Elizabeth. I am so sorry I left you and James but I did it so you could live. Things are only going to get harder for you but you are stronger than you will ever know. I love you" Tears started running down my cheeks as I clung to him. I felt his lips kiss the top of my head before he faded away.

"I love you too Daddy" I whispered as the wolf came to my side, sensing my sadness she nudged my hand. I looked down to her and sighed, folding my legs underneath me and sat down. She dropped to her belly and stared at me, her blue eyes bright and a smile appeared on her muzzle.

"I'm glad you're looking happy. I have no idea what is going to happen next" I stroked her head gently and she leant into my hand as I rubbed her ear. I couldn't help but smile at her, as she seemed so content. Maybe staying here wouldn't be such a bad thing. My Dad had been tricked into giving up who he was. He told me not to trust the witches and I knew he included Mum in that. But she was my Mum and the only parent I had left. The wolf whined at me then, it was my Mum who had put us here. Well she had intended it for William and in thinking that another whine came from the pretty she wolf beside me, not liking the thought of him being harmed.

Thinking of William I went back to our final moments. He had called me Penelope. Was that all I was to him? Did he not see me as me? Before I could think more about it I dropped into a ball, the pain back and worse than before. Maybe this was death. Dad said things would be getting harder, was this it? As I screamed the darkness came back, my body cramped from the tight circle I had curled up into. Unable to move I just suffered as the aches rolled over me in waves until finally not wanting to take it any more I welcomed the darkness.