6 – Precarious

"Andy" —Elicia waved me over to where she stood— "I want to give this to you."

You have given me enough, my furrowing eyebrows argued.

With her eyes trained on mine, El dumped a mobile phone into my palm. "It's a burner, so it can't be tracked. If you ever want to talk, press eight, my number is set on speed dial. I'll call you as soon as I hear anything about Jim's whereabouts. Until then, don't call me."

Speechless. I managed to stutter out a version of 'thank you' before slipping it into my back pocket. My chest panged with want. I wanted her friendship. I wanted to stop fleeing. I wanted to stop fearing.

"Hey, keep your chin up, stiff upper lip, now. Put on a good show for the kids." She wiped away tears I did not know I shed. "I've got to go now and try to throw traffic cams off my ass." With a tired smile, Elicia squeezed me in a good hug.

I murmured, "Stay safe, El."

Nodding, Elicia shook my hand. "Don't forget me," she quipped.

Snorting, I rolled my eyes. "How could I?" Smiling, I returned my hand to my front pocket.

Elicia could not have bolted faster, and I knew her haste exit was for the better. Goodbyes were difficult, but this one sank my heart six feet under and a part of me wanted to crawl into a hole and bawl it out. Thank God I had children to anchor my emotions.

"Mrs Halstead?" Kaylina spooked me out of my revere.

Facing her, I sighed, shaking off the longing. "Call me Andy," I said.

"Can I get you settled in?" She was not asking. Turning around, Kaylina motioned for me to follow her back inside.

Sucking in my breath, I eyed her tight bun and business getup. Kaylina did not look like she belonged in this line of work, much less head it. Instead, she fitted the drab fashion of a cooped up librarian with her thick, but not too thick, reading glasses and plain Mary Janes. I would know. After all, just a week ago, I donned a similar appearance.

"Are you even listening?" she asked. Her steel eyes pierced mine, and I forced myself to show courage. With a sigh, she breathed. "I said, you are expected to keep your children behaved as we have a reputation for being a place with well-mannered people."

Swallowing, I felt my nerves squirming under her hard glare, but I balled my hands into fists so that my fingers would not fidget. Maybe I had become too comfortable with Elicia's warm hospitality, forgetting that not all people were like my bestie. "Of course, they won't cause any mischief," I said. With baited breath, I waited for her approval.

However, a smile jumped onto her burgundy tinted lips. "I'm only teasing you." All at once, her stern voice dropped, taking my jaw with it.

Alarmed, I creased my eyebrows. "Pardon me?"

Kaylina tucked an invisible section of hair behind her ear. "I'm not really that stern, not at all."

Well, damn, you certainly fooled me, my brain grumbled. Staring at her as if she were a hydra sprouting another head, I let her soft voice thread in into my ears.

"Kids will be kids, especially when they are with others their age. I'd be completely out of my mind if I expected all the children here to behave like adults."

I nodded, the first thing we both agreed on. "I'm still rather perplexed." I stopped, unsure of how to word my next sentence without offending the woman.

"Oh. Yeah, that whole act thing." Kaylina's cheeks flushed, the rosiness accenting her caramel skin. "I just want to get a feel for the people coming in. Often, they are interviewed by my employees, and then I do one last ... test, if you will. If they try to pick a fight with me, depending on the words exchanged, I may send them on their way. Luckily, I haven't had to do that for a long time. You see, I try to maintain a positive atmosphere, it's all that some people have here."

Blinking, I pursed my lips. For a woman some years my youth, she had a load of maturity, the fact impressing and, frankly, refreshing.

Over the past sum of years, there had been a steady flow of university girls who waltzed into the Omaha Public Library simply to cause some sort of altercation or otherwise compromising situation with their beaus. Being that I always had the "misfortune" of stocking shelves when said issues occurred, I had to kick them out. Never an enjoyable task, especially since some of them came back just to spite me. At least, it felt like that from the snide smirks pulling on their plump lips and pampered eyebrows.

"I'm afraid all of our rooms are filled, so you will be here with the other families. Though we don't have an official curfew, we shut everything down at eleven, so you still have an hour to look around. If you want, I can show you to the dining hall."

I weighed the options in my head. Sure it would be lovely to get acquainted with the people I would dorm with, but that meant talking, revealling information. While I was fine with Elicia, Owen, and the few words I had to exchange with lost patrons navigating the book shelves, I was adamant to willingly speak with a group of strangers. Butterflies fluttered inside my stomach, making a swirl of nausea peak at the thought. It decided for me. "No, I'm fine."

"Okay. Here's your stop, then. Get a good night sleep, breakfast is at nine, but there's always granola bars in the dining hall in case you wake up early." Kaylina winked.

"Duly noted. Thank you, Kaylina."

"No problem," she said. "Let me or the the staff know if there's anything wrong."

Opening the door, I nodded and waited until she sauntered out of sight to step inside. Tip toeing around bags and sleeping children with their parents molding around the smaller ones, I found my children. Relieving the woman stationed to watch them, I passed a silent thanks. With a stifled yawn, I settled onto the cot in between my children.

Some time must have passed because one second I was counting the shadows that crossed underneath the door, and the next, I was rousing to Jimmy's nudging.

"Mommy?"

With a yawn, my eyes popped opened. "Yes, honey?"

"You're back. Where were you?" Jimmy asked.

"Just speaking with Kaylina."

"About what?"

"Grown up things. Nothing exciting." Turning over onto my side, I propped myself up with my elbow.

"Why couldn't we stay at Owen's? I like him a lot."

Guilt nagged at my conscience, but I kept the easy smile on my face. I will tell you one day, when you are older. When you can understand. When I can understand it, my mind whispered. Instead, I forced my mouth to reiterate El's excuse.

"She and Owen are going somewhere and couldn't let us stay. We'll be back there, visiting again before you know it, though." Maybe it was foolish to instill hope like that when the future was so uncertain. Yet, I found myself needing to cling onto the notion that I would see them again, possibly for my sanity. I was not remotely ready nor willing to surrender the friendship I made with Elicia and Owen.

"Kaylina's nice though," he said with a yawn threatening to distort his words.

"You think so?" I smiled, relieved that Jimmy approved of our new hostess.

"Yeah, she gave me and Sal a goodie bag with crayons, a colouring book, and stickers."

That is nice of her. "Good, you two can work on it tomorrow if you'd like." The urge to keep up the conversation radiated off his eyes. Searching the clock on the wall, I bit my lip. "It's almost eleven, Jimmy, aren't you tired?"

He shook his head, his shoulders slumping.

Getting up, I knelt in front of him. "What's wrong, hon?"

With a shrug, Jimmy toyed with the frayed end of the heavy blanket. His eyes avoided mine, so I rested my palm over his fingers.

Softening my eyes, I sighed. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Silent as a fish, Jimmy confirmed with a single nod.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

Jimmy glanced around and I followed his eyes.

"How about we get a little snack in the cafeteria?" I suggested. Standing up, I led him out.

It was not too difficult to locate the dining room with signs posted around the bend of the halls. Once we reached the cafeteria, I snatched two granola bars and slid into a seat at the nearest table.

"So, what was your dream about?"

Pausing, Jimmy licked his lips. "Daddy."

"What happened?"

"Daddy was yelling, and I could hear him from my bed."

I swallowed, urging him to continue with my eyes.

"I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't."

"So, what did you do?"

"Go to find him." For an extended beat, Jimmy stared at the Quaker's wrapper. "Daddy hit you, and you were crying."

Somehow I was aware that he had been inferencing that all along, but it was still paralyzing to hear, surreal to comprehend. Had it been a figment of a wild imagination or merely a nightmare, I would have had an answer.

"Daddy can be scary sometimes," Jimmy confessed.

Shock replaced my hushed malaise. Jimmy had never uttered one negative word about his father.

"Only when he yells." Jimmy added. As he finished his granola, I played with the wrapper's flap, yet to start mine.

I had no clue what to say to ameliorate his concern. I was certain I could not tell him the same story as I told Elicia.

"Hey, you made it to the dining hall!" Kaylina interrupted my spiraling thoughts.

Looking up, I met her warm brown eyes. "Jimmy and I were just having a little snack."

"Right. Hey, we're going to start clean up around here, so can I walk you two back to the rooms?"

With an obedient nod, Jimmy and I followed her lead.

"The photos on the wall are quite charming," I said.

Kaylina agreed. "Every season we change them out, but these are by far my favourite," she said. "I love autumn, all the leaves change colours and the bugs start going away." Twisting around, she walked backwards. "What's your favourite season, Jason, is it?"

"Jimmy," my son corrected. "Summer! No more school!"

"Of course, summer is a fantastic season! What do you like to do?"

"Daddy, Mommy, Sally, and me go to the lake a lot. This summer, my daddy taught me how to fish, and I catched a huge fish!"

"You did!" With a chuckle, Kaylina nodded. "Do you know what kind of fish it was?"

Jimmy looked to me. "I believe it was a trout," I answered.

"How about you, Andy. What's your favorite season?"

Thinking for a moment, I said, "I suppose I prefer summer, too." But my reasons were sour compared to anyone's standards. As Jim hated putting the heat on until late November, when it became extremely chilly in the house, breathing through bruised ribs was a stifling chore. Plus, the infamous cold did nothing to help my skin. Though the summer could be stifling and downright miserable, at least I could breathe.

Kaylina turned around before we rounded the bend. "Summer's too hot for me, but it's nice when it's not in the 80's."

Stopping at the door to our quarters, Kaylina said, "Get some sleep."

"See you tomorrow?" Jimmy asked.

"Probably. I usually am floating around, checking in on the people here."

With a polite smile, I cracked the door and ushered in Jimmy. "Goodnight," I said. "Wait."

"Yeah?" Kaylina bit her lip.

"So how does tomorrow ... work?"

"I'll give you three a more in depth tour around tomorrow, and then you really have time to yourself. Most people go to work and their kids attend the local elementary and middle school. But as you've just come here, Jimmy and Sally can play with the other kids that aren't in the school system."

Nodding, I pursed my lips. "Thanks, Kaylina."

"Yeah, no problem." She smiled. Night." Kaylina nodded and headed back.

"See you tomorrow." I waved and ducked into the room.

Jimmy sat up in his bed, his eyes now on me. "I'm not really tired, Momma."

"Hon, you really should try to sleep, though." I tucked him under his covers. "Besides, tomorrow, Kaylina is going to show us around." Ruffling his hair, I curled the blanket around him. "Snug as a bug in a rug," I said.

"Okay." Resolving, Jimmy borrowed his face under his blanket, snuggling into his cocoon.

I fluffed my pillow and fixed the blanket before turning over for the night.

The first thing I noticed was that Pancakes, the rooster, did not wake me up. As light threaded in under the cracks of the blinds, I gathered my bearings. Wiggling my nose, I stretched my legs and other limbs, untangling them from the covers. I tossed my bed hair and yawned as I welcomed the new day. First one up. No surprise there.

The chilliness attacked my uncovered skin, reinforcing my dislike for autumn and winter. Shivering, I drew my blanket over my shoulders, wishing that summer was here. My toes were numb but stung when I tried to move them. After recovering my socks, I got up, too restless to listen to the light snorers. Now I knew why they asked who snored on the questionnaire. Rubbing my hands together, I breathed into them, trying to speed up the process.

Despite the ferocious, icebox air, I liked the tranquility mornings brought, the serene hum of birds as they chirped and started their day. Regardless if I had work, I woke up at dawn and fixed myself a cup of Twinings tea. Every morning and every evening, while Jim chased after drug lords, I could count on a peaceful twelve or thirteen hours. But since Friday morning, everything had changed. There was no more Twinings, no more singing birds, no more peaceful mornings. Those were luxuries I could depend on, that would come if they came. The only thing remaining was the bitter temperature that nipped at my skin.

A/N: This goes out to daydreamer704, who inspires the character Kaylina. She's been waiting an awful long time for this chapter to come out, so I can finally say: Thank you so much for your patience and help as I developed your character! ❤️ Go check out her page! 😊