5 – Anxious

Jimmy and Sally warmed up to Elicia and Owen faster than I imagined ... than I hoped. Jimmy enjoyed feeding the horses with Owen and doing the little things a boy could do around the stables. Meanwhile, Sally chased the chickens in and out of their coup with Elicia. She had even managed to find an egg in one of the nests despite the chilly air. El's girls were going to ease up on egg laying as winter edged on.

Insisting that I had felt rather unproductive, I begged Elicia to let me tidy up her charming abode. As long as I went to the range with her again, El would not make a fuss. Although it sounded like a win-lose situation, I knew that the more times I went, the more I would improve. With reluctant agreement, I happily ridded the dust bunnies and cobwebs scurried away in corners and on shelves.

Just as the clock struck half past five, Jimmy skipped to the porch, shirt drenched with sweat. "Mommy, Owen taught me how to fill all the hay nets and we took them out to the pasture!" Glancing at the 6'2" man, the dramatic height difference was almost comedic.

The cowboy offered a small smile and wave. "I'm going to let the horses out and finish up out in the barn. If you need me, just yell." Owen tipped his hat at me and left Jimmy at the door.

Raising my eyebrows, I stopped Jimmy at the storm door, assessing his attire. "Take off your shoes outside, go upstairs and change your shirt, please."
    Nodding, Jimmy slid past me with his socks skating across the linoleum. Sally's clothes fared no better. With a chuckle, I carried her upstairs so her dusty boot cut jeans wouldn't chafe the ground. Jimmy finished before us, so he hopped downstairs.

After managing to convince Sal that bedbugs were attracted to sweat and dirt, she gladly stepped out of her denim and tee. With some more harmless threats, she wiggled into her pyjamas. There was no way I would permit romping around without a shirt, no matter how hot Sally insisted she was. When the whole ordeal ended, I awarded Sal her promised snack. Taking her hand, I planned to let her select tonight's film as we headed to the living room.

"Daddy," Jimmy said.

Freezing, I whipped my attention towards my boy's elated tone.

"Yeah, I've been having a great time!" His sweet voice echoed in the hall.

"Jimmy!" I hissed. Holding a finger over my pursed lips, I shook my head.

Swinging his head around, my son beamed with his twinkling blue eyes.

Eyeing the landline, I mouthed, "Who is that?"

Playing along, Jimmy covered the microphone and whispered back, "Daddy."

Swallowing the stone in my throat, I trotted down the rest of the stairs and motioned for him to hand me the phone. Cold sweat tingled my temples and prickled the hackles on the back of my neck as I shivered. Sucking on my bottom lip, I managed a strangled, "Take Sal outside and go play, please." Before I smeared the handset with sweat, I wiped my palms on my trousers.

With a pout, Jimmy rushed out, "Gotta go. Love you!" Oblivious to my anxiousness, he placed the receiver in my fingers and proceeded to the porch with Sally in tow.

Hands sweltering, pursuing a temperature rivalling the "hot, hot, hot, hot chocolate" from The Polar Express, I clenched the spiral cord like a stress ball in my other hand. Perturbation soared inside and threatened to trigger a rush of pure adrenaline.

"Jim?" My voice trembled and my boots fared worse results.

"I miss you," he choked out.

Stifling my nerves, I breathed. In. Out. "How did you get this number?" I asked, aware that I probably knew.

"On your friend's wedding invite. I had all our mail forwarded here during our first few years over here." That sure as hell was the last reason I had ever dreamt him saying.

"What!" A flurry of fury flashed in my eyes. "You knew, all this time that Elicia was married! Why did you keep that from me? You know how important she is to me!" The temptation to scream boiled, but hurt thawed the impulse.

"We weren't gonna go, anyways. So what's it matter?" I pictured his trademark, lopsided shrug to compliment his nonchalant reply. "But what should really bother you is that I've been going out of my goddamn mind thinking that someone kidnapped you and our kids! Fuck! How the hell could you do that to me?"

Nipping my bottom lip, I felt guilt throttle in my conscience. "I couldn't do it anymore, Jim." My voice cracked and I hated the blatant weakness hallowing my sob.

"What do you mean?"

The hell he didn't know. "You hurt me and kept on doing it." As soon as the confession slipped out, the weight of the situation I had continuously allowed, sucker punched my stomach. My brain swirled on the teacup ride, the sensation as nauseating as a head rush. Through the heartburn bubbling in my stomach, I said, "Jimmy saw you hit me that night!"

He paused for so long, I wondered if we were still connected. "Anny, I'm sorry. Work's been hell, and I couldn't resist going out with the guys for a few. I wasn't thinking right, and I was just so upset when he wasn't in bed."

He did not need to tell me what I already understood. "Jimmy just wanted to say goodnight, so I thought you'd be fine with that." Not that I aimed to throw our son under the bus, but Jimmy was becoming rather stubborn as of late.

"You know I always check on him when I get home."

I was used to his excuses; they no longer fazed me. But, I was damn well tired of beating around the mulberry bush. "Jim, what do you want?"

Before he could utter a comprehensible word, the phone ripped out of my hand and slammed onto the receiver. Whirling around, I flinched when I faced Elicia's cheeks red with rage.

"What the hell are you doing?" she spat.

"It was Jim. He knows where we are," I said. Shock coursed through my veins, the reality crashing down on me like an avalanche.

"I know. I asked Jimmy where you were and he told me that Jim was talking to you." Her gun was at her side.

Raising my eyebrows, I regarded her with alarm.

"I thought he managed to get in the house. None of us were watching, and I didn't want to take any chances," she said.

The ringtone blared through the narrow hall, causing us to jump. Before I even blinked, El had the neck of the phone strangled in her white knuckled fist. With equal speed and crushing silence, she slapped it back down, effectively cutting the line. A part of me was impressed with her reflexes, I thought mine were fast. We waited a minute for another call, one that never came.

Teasing my hair, I stared her steel-toed boots, feeling like a first grader sent to talk to the headmaster. "I'm sorry, El."

"Why?" Confusion marred her scowl. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"For bringing him here. He knows where you live, and he's coming! I think I heard traffic in the background."

"Fuck." She seethed. With her fingers curled tight, I wondered if the wall would get a nice crescent indent.

"We have to go." The despairing notion of losing the friend I had just found days ago made me want to sink to the floor.

"Andy, where will you go?"

I shook my head. It was my fault we were in this mess. The truth was, I had not planned to leave for Elicia's until at least another two weeks. If I had waited, stuck it out a bit longer like I had intended, I would not have been as broke as I was. "We'll hop around shelters and whoever will take us, I suppose. Try to keep a low profile."

"Absolutely not." El rolled her jaw. "There's only one place I trust that will take you and the kids in." Zooming into another room, El rushed back with an unfolded a paper. "It's in Oak Creek, Wisconsin. Look, I'll ring the place and keep the kids busy with Owen while you pack." Nodding, we scampered our separate ways.

In a race against the clock, I dumped Jimmy's mucked clothes in a plastic bag and added Sally's with his. From the sheer haste of my movements, the hangers clanked against the top of the closet as I ripped the coats from the plastic. With keen eyes, I scooped up all of their garments and tossed them into their duffels. I had time to fold them later. Once I finished, I checked under the bed and in the bathroom, discarding anything leading back to us. The kids were inside by the time I came down.

When Elicia and I had a moment of privacy, El asked, "Do you want to tell them?"

"Not yet. I can't risk Jimmy knowing. He means well, but-"

"I know." Hugging me, El rubbed my back. "Do you have everything ready?"

I nodded because the tears were tickling my cheeks. God, I wanted more time with her. Four days were simply not enough! Hell, it was not fair. What in God's name did I do to deserve this karma?

Pulling myself together, I licked my lips. "Did you tell Owen what's going on?" I asked.

"Not everything. He knew that you were coming from Omaha and that Jim's an abusive prick, but I'll tell him that you all are leaving when he comes in."

"Please don't tell him where we're going." Ignorance was bliss when Jim played hardball, so it was better for all of our asses to only trust the need-to-know personnel.

Dropping her hand, she faced me with furrowed eyebrows. "Alright. If you think that's for the best." Not that I didn't trust her husband, but I knew what mine would do to get answers. There were no laws when it came to a possessive man like Jim.

"When are we going?" I was eager to leave but, at the same time, heartbroken.

"Whenever you're ready. It's almost been an hour since he called. Did Jimmy tell you where he was?"

"No, but I don't want to stick around and find out."

Elicia grabbed my hand. "We should go soon. I've got some mac and cheese on the cooktop. If we leave in an half-hour, we can be there at earliest 9:40."

"Good." Following her, El scooped a generous serving of pasta into the kids' dishes and mine.

Owen shuffled into the living room as we ate, so Elicia pulled him aside. When they returned, he flashed a concerned frown at me, which I almost missed.

"Can we watch a movie, Mommy?" Sal asked as she finished her bowl.

"Not tonight." While I tried to figure out a way to deliver a part of the news, Elicia plopped down next to me.

"Tonight, we're gonna go see a friend of mine," El piped in.

Jimmy swallowed. "Who?" Shoving in another spoonful, he stared at both of us.

"A wonderful woman named Kaylina," El said.

I vaguely recalled seeing the name from the brochure not really having paid full attention to the contact list.

"Why can't we leave tomorrow?" Jimmy asked.

"Unfortunately, Owen and I are going out of town in early morning. I thought it might be better that you stay with Kaylina until we're back."

"Yeah, but we ought to go before it gets much darker." I plastered on a grin. "So finish up, and we can leave."

With suspicion flickering in his eyes, Jimmy slid off the sofa. Sally followed his shadow.

"Thanks," I whispered.

Winking, Elicia helped me up. "Owen knows not to answer the phone if Jim calls again."

Walking out to the driveway, El loaded our bags, and I fastened in the kids. The need to interrogate me read clear in Jimmy's expression, but for my sake, I pretended not to notice. The drive was quiet, uneventful, perfectly mundane as the two of them drifted off to sleep.

"Who is this Kaylina woman?" I kept my voice low.

"An acquaintance I know from first moving here. I did her a favour and never cashed in the one she owed me. I guess I'm glad that it won't go to waste." She shrugged with a half-hearted smile.

"How long can we stay?"

"As long as you need. It's not a women's shelter, but they do try and filter who they let it. Because they don't allow people with a criminal history or addicts, your kids should be safe. Otherwise, she said that you'll have to sleep in the commons until a room opens up. Priority goes to the women and children and since Kaylina runs it, you might manage a room sooner than later."

"Are there other children their age there?" I felt silly for asking, but it would be good for Jimmy and Sal to have some playmates to keep their company.

"I don't know for sure but probably. Families with young kids are almost always accepted." El went quiet for a moment. "I wish you didn't have to go." Whimpering, she grabbed my hand.

"I feel the same. It took forever just to gather the funds to get here and now we have to leave."

"It was lovely having you and the kids."

"You've been a gem, El. I'm so glad we got to meet up again, too." As short as our visit was, I was thankful. Deep down, I understood that we needed to move along, I had told her a couple days ago. So, maybe my husband calling was some twisted blessing in disguise because Lord knew that I was growing too fond of living there, of Elicia's friendship, even Owen's. I just never imagined that the carpet of happiness would so soon be ripped out from beneath me, from under all of us.

"I know it may be a little premature to ask, but, do you think you'll ever visit us again? You know, soon maybe?"

Pursing my lips, I met her eyes. "I'd like to, but as you said, it's a bit early to be even considering that. Maybe if you and Owen came up a couple times that might be more manageable, at least for now. Though, I don't know how long we can stay there." I muttered, "It's all up to Jim."

A/N: This is dedicated to JasminAMiller for being such as great help while editing these past chapters! She's written a new book called Baking With A Rockstar, which is linked in the external links section. She's already onto the ninth chapter, so go catch up before you get behind! LOL! XD