Robert was attentive at the club, dismissing the tense atmosphere between them on the island. To Eliana, her husband's demeanor was a silent admission of his compulsion. Later in the cabin, as they went to bed, he kissed her with unexpected tenderness—clearly an apology. Eliana couldn't sleep that night. She sensed that Robert, lying next to her, didn't sleep either.

The following morning, they addressed each other with awkward civility—he anxious to bury the tension from the eve, she hesitant as to the best way to touch the subject without making Robert defensive. Marco and Marisa's company helped dilute their discomfiture. Eliana resolved that once they were back home she would have an honest conversation with Robert. Until then, they should enjoy the cruise and she would devise how to convince him to check into a rehabilitation clinic. In spite of his fit of rage on the island, Robert's regret indicated he was open to talk. Eliana became more optimistic.

After the spa session, Robert and Marco headed for the Opal Lounge to play pool while Eliana lied she needed to buy makeup for the costume party. At the mall, she made a detour and descended to the cybercafe in order to pursue her research without interruptions. Recalling the diagnosis by Robert's therapist, Eliana wondered if that would affect his sexual compulsion. She entered the keyword into the search engine: narcissism.

The results popped up in less than a second. Almost eight million pages.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Malignant Narcissism.

Eliana read one article after another in a trance as the truth unraveled. To her horror, what she found in those texts was the detailed description of her own story. She discovered forums of victims. Yes, victims. The minutia, circumstances and scenarios differed. But all of them, without exception, told the same story beginning in a landscape of inebriant azure and sun, where the enchanted meadows of the future bloomed away as far as the eye could see. Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a prince charming that encountered a princess and took her to his castle. He devoted her unconditional love, winning her heart. He rationed the crumbles of that love, rendering her confuse and desperate. He denied his love, shattering her. The script followed a cycle of three phases that would replay indefinitely as long as the victim was useful to her torturer: idealization, devaluation and discard.

What was the logic of such tragedy in three acts?

What happened in the castle behind the scenes?

The prince was an actor. The prince was a predator. The prince was a vampire.

A character. A frog. A monster.

And this was his plot.

Idealization. The narcissist seduces the victim. Charismatic, witty, solicitous, he lays a rapid and intense siege—it's not uncommon for him to mention marriage and children right from the start. He listens attentively to the victim and studies her behavior, cataloging her tastes, dreams and frailties. Like an illusionist, he uses that knowledge to give back to the victim the desired reflection: the narcissist will be what she wants him to be and will say what she wants to hear. While he projects this stunning image, he caresses the victim's self-love with all sorts of praise, thus breaking down her defenses. The victim is euphoric and her brain is bombarded with the endorphins of passion. It's hard to believe such a wonderful man could fall for her. She becomes dependent on the narcissist that makes her feel so good. Emotionally dependent. Chemically dependent.

You're beautiful, Eliana, and will always be. I dream of you and our future. I adore your voice. I have a surprise for you. I've never been so happy. Let's get married. I love you more than anything.

Devaluation. The narcissist has concentrated all his energy on consolidating the relationship. He has the victim in his hands and begins to withdraw. He no longer calls that often nor does he show the same availability, alleging excess of work or personal problems. Aware of the victim's weaknesses, he explores them to dominate her: he criticizes her, at times in a playful or casual tone, fuels insecurities and often praises other people so that she feels inferior. The victim can't understand what she did wrong for him to stop admiring her. The narcissist is slipping away and nothing seems to halt this inexorable process. The victim's desperation escalates. She strains to please the narcissist and reinstate the enchantment of the idealization phase. He alternates his indifference with sweetness and evasions that maintain the victim under his control.

You are wonderful. We're different and you don't understand me. I couldn't stop thinking of you. I didn't have time to call. When are you going to quit being like that? I love you more than anything.

Discard. If actions confirmed words in the idealization period, now they contradict them. The narcissist knocks the victim off the pedestal and his criticism intensifies. Bewildered, the victim doesn't realize her self-esteem is being slowly eroded, as well as her notion of reality. She can't conciliate that she went from being everything to being nothing to him, that the man who brought her so much happiness is the same one causing her so much suffering. Her brain performs constant adjustments to make sense of this new reality: the victim justifies the narcissist's conduct, blames herself, ignores gestures of disdain and clings to empty promises. The narcissist distances himself with no remorse, insinuating the victim is responsible for his alienation. Time and again he feigns bouts of tenderness and repeats the cycle to keep her in the cauldron of relentless emotional chaos.

Hell is bittersweet.

Don't wait for me for dinner. I want to be part of the mission in Haiti. I can't stand to be away from you. I'm stressed-out and need some space. You're selfish. I love you more than anything.

Who was Robert?

Why did he act like that?

The true self of the narcissist inhabits a cuirass constituted during childhood if the child suffered abuse or, on the contrary, was worshiped. In both cases, the narcissist is treated by his parents like an object—the receptacle to their rage or their dreams. To protect itself from abuse or else to meet its parents' expectations, the child develops a cuirass. Such self-defense mechanism is a grandiose, invincible, resplendent exoskeleton that begins to integrate the child's personality structure. Inside it hides the true self, fragile and immature, rejected and ignored. The narcissist loses touch with himself.

The false self is everything the narcissist would like to be, compensating for his low self-esteem and fear of abandonment. He couldn't stand confronting his own flaws and weaknesses, hence he projects them—it isn't him who fails and envies, it's others. The true self atrophies as the cuirass thickens. Being a false identity, it requires external validation to exist: it's the narcissistic supply that warrants the psychic survival of the narcissist, the calcium maintaining the exoskeleton strong, essential nourishment. If he's not granted applause and attention, the narcissist withers. For that reason, he circles, lies and manipulates in order to secure continuous supply.

Having lost contact with the true self, the narcissist cannot feel empathy or compassion and learns to fake them. In the idealization phase, he employs all his arsenal to involve and capture the victim. It is an exhaustive investment, which he makes until ensuring the conquest. In the devaluation phase, the narcissists tires and at the same time resents being emotionally dependent on the victim. He has fits of rage, criticizes or shuts himself off to subjugate her and dissimulate his maneuvers. In the discard, the narcissist recoils and monitors the victim in order to retain her as a source of narcissistic supply.

Meanwhile he redirects his energy to other sources that will feed his ego, for the narcissist needs abundant provision. Without an interior life, the false self gets easily bored and requires constant stimulus. The narcissist is also propensive to jealousy, a fruit of his insecurity and the belief that victims are his property. For him, people aren't beings endowed with feelings and wishes, they're rather utilitarian and interchangeable objects whose only function is providing narcissistic supply.

The pathological narcissist became a shell. He isn't cruel or manipulative because he wants to but because he doesn't know or can exist any other way. Just like he avoids intimacy with himself, the narcissist abhors a deep intimacy with others. It not only makes him susceptible to exposing himself but ordinary, for intimacy is something universal.

The pathological narcissist is incapable of loving.

The pathological narcissism has no cure.

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Wow, everybody was in general so quiet last chapter. What's your take?  xoxo