A/n: K so the beginning/first chap is kinda backstory like the very beginning takes place right after the end of s1 when he gets to jail longer a/n at the end bc ik yall dont wanna read allat

When the guards threw Varian into his cell and locked the door, the boy's angered glare disappeared, and he was left in shock for a few moments, realizing that this was actually happening. The guards turned and left him as he snapped out of it. He screamed and banged against the prison bars, yelling at them to come back. He only succeeded in scaring Ruddiger and injuring his already too thin wrists and bony fingers.

It was cold and dark. Really dark. The guards lanterns slowly faded as they walked up the stairs, and Varian felt a chill run down his spine. He was alone. Ruddiger chittered next to him worriedly. He couldn't breathe, he was alone and it was dark and his dad was—

His dad was still in the amber.

  Varian had been stunned into silence in the back of the prison carriage, silently reflecting over his anger while being hauled to the castle's dungeons, only able to think about how he was actually going to prison. Now, he was content to scream until his throat was raw and his voice was hoarse, "Let me out!" Varian screamed, feeling his voice strain as he repeated it over and over again, "Let me out, let me out—let me out! My dad is still trapped, you don't understand, he could be dead!"

His screams echoed in the empty halls. The guards weren't coming back any time soon.

He heard a scoff from across the hall, "the guards don't show pity, kid. And they certainly don't have any compassion for people like us."

Varian glared, "who are you?" He spat. He was a kid, so he knew he was vulnerable down here. He needed to appear as intimidating as he possibly could.

The man laughed, "oh-ho-ho! Fiesty. I'm Andrew. Nice to meet you, kid. You tough act is more cute than scary, but with some practice, I think I could fix you up a bit. What's your name?"

"Varian" the boy said, leaning against the wall, "I can't believe this."

"Me neither. Me and the others have been talking about you. Word got around that you kidnapped the queen, an used some pretty powerful alchemy" Andrew smirked.

"The others?" Varian questioned.

"Saporians" Andrew smirked.

Varian's eyes widened, "Y-you guys are terrorists."

"Are you any better?" Andrew scoffed, "do you really think we're that different? You threatened the royal family."

Varian stayed silent.

"We could get out of here, you know. If we were to work together" Andrew said, trying to convince him, "we could come up with a plan. What do you say, kid?

—————————————————

Varian was alone.

After Andrew proposed revenge upon the kingdom, and everyone that had turned their backs on him, he had considered. For a long time, what to do. Eventually, he ended up declining Andrew's offer. He even told the guards about Andrew's plan. They gave him higher security and put more locks on his cell, ensuring that he wouldn't be escaping any time soon.

But that wasn't all—the captain of the guard said that he was ordered by the King to move Varian. The king said that Varian shouldn't be around anyone other than the guards. Before Varian left, Andrew told him that he had made a powerful enemy, and that was that. He never heard from Andrew again.

And now, he was the only prisoner on this floor. He was in the lowest levels of the dungeons, dragged down staircase after staircase in his cuffs, before being thrown into the dirty cell.

And there he was, angry and screaming as he banged against the bars. There probably weren't even any prisoners on the level of dungeons above him. The last two levels were reserved for the worst of the worst.

This wasn't fair. This wasn't his fault! It was Rapunzel, it was Rapunzel, it was all Rapunzels fault! Why did she get a happy ending? Why did she get to go off and frolic with her friends, without a care in the world, while he was here? Rotting alone in a prison cell, while his dad was probably dying in an unbreakable encasement of amber?!

"I HATE YOU!" He screamed into the darkness, "I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!" He screamed and kicked against his cell, and nobody heard him. He began to sob, falling to his knees and wearing himself out to the point of exhaustion, and he passed out.

He was so angry.

He would kill the princess and all her little friends if they ever dared to even try to speak to him, ever again! And he didn't need Andrew's help to do it!

—————————————————————————-

Varian was conflicted with his emotions.

He'd felt...a lot. He felt fear, obviously. The fear for his dad, not knowing what's it like for him in the amber. Is he conscious, is he okay? Can he even breathe, is he hungry? Thirsty?

...Is he dead?

A cold shiver ran down his spine at the thought.

It couldn't be true—but it could. The probability of his father being dead wasn't exactly low.

Aside from that, he was also afraid of his future. What would happen to him? He was already in jail, and they took his alchemy from him, so he couldn't escape. Without it he was just a scared, lonely kid. He needed to get his dad out of the amber, why did nobody understand that?!

Glaring at the wall, he felt something else. He felt loathing, he felt a sharp, glaring hatred that was coursing through his veins, embers sparking and igniting, crawling and roaring beneath his skin. But as time went on, and he had time to process his thoughts, he found all his desire for vengeance melting away. Why? This would be so much easier to accept if he still had that burning hatred for Rapunzel.

...But he didn't.

He didn't and he wished he did, because now, weeks later, the anger was being replaced with crushing guilt, an overwhelming remorse that twisted in his gut. He made a mistake. That was the worst realization he had come to.

His anger was moreso directed towards himself. He..he didn't want to hurt anyone. He just lost control, thought nobody would listen if he didn't just snap!

They threw him out in that blizzard for dead. Rapunzel didn't even attempt to stop them aside from a shout to not hurt him. And then they just left him. Didn't even check up. It was reasonable to feel betrayed! Why hadn't she checked up when everything was over? She knew there was a problem!

Though, he could have just reminded her, asked for her help again..surely, she would have complied? Tried to help? It was just in her nature...sun, he hated himself. He ruined everything. He always ruined everythinh.

His father was disappointed in him before, but what would he think of him now? He would hate him.

Sadness began to bubble up in his chest. But it felt like so much more. A feeling he couldn't even fully describe without sounding stupid. He felt like he was five again, lost in the middle of the town square because he left his father for a moment to look at a butterfly. But 100x worse. He just wanted his dad.

But would his dad want him? After what he'd done?

After a few months in the dungeon, through all of these emotions, each fighting for dominance, a part of him somehow just felt numb.

He lost count of his days eventually, after he was out for a while from a particularly bad beating. Things in the dungeons went downhill so quickly. He couldn't feel, because if he felt, he got pain.

At first, everything seemed fine. Sure, in the beginning all he could focus on was his anger and hatred towards the princess. All he could think about was escaping to plot his revenge, but...the more the thought about it, the more he realized that he didn't want to hurt the princess, he didn't want to hurt anyone. All he wanted was help. He didn't know what else to do besides kidnap the queen, would Rapunzel have listened if he hadn't?!

...Of course she would have, what was he thinking? He let out a bitter laugh towards himself. He really hadn't thought his little plan through. Time passed, and so did his anger towards the princess. Now all be felt was anger towards himself.

He glanced up from his corner of the dark, cold cell. He hadn't been given food in a while. Maybe three days? He watched the guard's heavy, steel toed boots stomp across the floor, guarding his cell. He was the only one on this floor. Still the lowest one.

In the beginning, Stan and Pete guarded his cell. They would talk to him. Even if it was just a simple hello. The more they talked, the less hatred Varian felt. He even talked to them about how he felt. He talked about his anger, his resentment, his pain.

And after a while, he just talked about how deeply sorry he was. How he wished the princess would come back, just so he could apologize. Even if she didn't accept his apology, he would have told her that he never meant for it to get so out of hand.

Queen Arianna was a frequent visitor in the beginning as well. She seemed to feel (sympathy...? Pity?) pity for him. Something about her was strangely calming. She even accepted his apology, which was the biggest shock of his life.

One day he asked about the princess, and she told him about how Rapunzel, Cassandra, Eugene and some of their friends were on an adventure. Huh. Perhaps that's why they hadn't visited yet. But who was he kidding. They wouldn't have visited him anyways. They'd be gone a while. He found his heart sinking at that. He kind of...really wanted to clear some things up.

But there was nothing to clear up, because what he'd done was clear as day. There was no mistake.  There was nothing that happened that day that was out of his control. In the end, it was all him. And he felt awful.

Still, back then, at least he had Stan and Pete. And even the Captain of the Guard sometimes, who had commented on how frail he was, staring at his portion of food and shaking his head. He told Stan and Pete to start giving him more food. Something about how they ran a tight ship, but they weren't going to let a child starve down there.

He figured it would probably look bad for Corona, even if he did commit an absolutely horrible crime. Varian had disagreed with him, telling the man that he didn't deserve it, he said it immediately, as if it had been drilled into his head.

"Kid. You deserve to eat" he muttered, shaking his head, "did one of the guards tell you that? They're usually really harsh to the prisoners."

"Shouldn't they be?" Varian asked, his head cocked to the side, remembering how one—was his name Frank?—told him that filth like himself didn't deserve the luxury of a meal.

The captain thought for a moment before responding, "Well—yes, prisoners need structure and discipline, so they understand what they did has consequences" he said, "that it was wrong."

Varian nodded. He understood that. Being alone with nothing but his thoughts made him realize what he did was wrong. He had a lot of time to think down there, and a lot of time for the guilt to fester and grow into remorse.

"Yeah. I guess so. I...was just feeling so alone and afraid." He sighed, leaning his head against the wall and looking up, "my dad is all i've got, y'know? And there's so much more I could have done to avoid acting out the way I did. I take full responsibility for my actions, but I just felt so betrayed. I just reacted. But now I...I think I understand."

The captain of the guard gave him a look and Varian went on, running a hand over his face, "before I...you know...before it happens, I just—" his lip wobbled and his voice cracked, "I just want her to know how sorry I am. N-not just the princess—everyone. And, and Casandra—sun, I hurt her didn't I?" He rambled, burying his face in his knees, "there's no way I didn't. I was—I was crushing her. I could have killed her."

The Captain gave him a look of confusion. He thought that how remorseful the kid was being was genuine, and the circumstances of the situation broke his heart, but as long as the king wanted Varian in prison instead of getting the help he needed, there wasn't anything he could do, "kid—before what happens?"

"Before I inevitably get executed" he mumbled. Varian wasn't dumb, despite his actions. He knew how these things went.

The captain bent down and looked the kid in his eyes through his cell, "kid..who said anything about execution?!" He questioned incredulously.

Varian gave him a blank look, "I stole the sun drop flower, terrorized the town with Ruddiger and basically experimented on him, which is animal cruelty i'm pretty sure, injured half the royal guard, kidnapped the queen, threatened to encase her in amber, threatened the entire royal family, tried to crush the queen and Casandra...destroyed stuff with my robots...treason...need I go on? And yes, this is a confession. So i'm just waiting for the King to issue my death sentence" he said, waving a hand in disinterest, "I know what happens to guys like me."

"Varian..." The Captain of the Guard was speechless. Varian was almost welcoming death.

"I—I just want it over with, y'know? I..I'd do it myself but y'know. I don't have anything. I mean, bashing my head against the wall didn't work, i've only been able to give myself a concussion—"

"Varian! You are not getting executed! Goodness me, kid!" The captain exclaimed, interrupting his rambling, "and don't even suggest doing something like that to yourself! Do you hear me? The queen said that she wants no harm to come upon you."

Varian nodded, "yes, sir. I—i'm sorry..but just in case..do you think that you could pass the message on? I know she probably won't care—"

"Kid, i'm sure the princess will forgive you" The captain smiled, "i'm sure she feels just as guilt—"

"What? the princess is too kind for her own good, I know she's going to forgive me. Even though it's not in her best interest. No, I meant Cassandra" Varian said, "I know she at least got broken ribs! And—I don't know, I betrayed everyone's trust, but she just...she looked so hurt. Of course I want to apologize to everyone else, Rapunzel especially, but I just can't get Cassandra's look of betrayal out of my head. I know she won't forgive me, I don't expect her to. I just need her, and Eugene—everyone. I need them to know I feel so bad. It eats me away, every day, the guilt."

"You really care that much?" The Captain asked. This would all be so much easier if the kid was still angry. But now, he was just sad and remorseful. It would be easier to watch him alone in the dark cell if he was screaming or throwing things around and being disobedient. At least then they could do something. But all they could do now was make sure he didn't try to crack his skull against the steel walls and kill himself. It was extremely sad.

"Yes" Varian said meekly, offering a small smile.

The captain nodded, "of course. But i'm sure you'll get to tell her yourself" he smiled.

And after that, Stan and Pete were switched, by the king's order for being too lenient, and the captains visits became less frequent. The queen was forbidden from seeing him altogether, and everything just went downhill.

—————————————————————————

Varian stared at the ground, shivering from the cold feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. King Frederick switched out Stan and Pete a few months prior. Now he had Jeffery and Frank. And they weren't nice at all.

When he heard the loud, stomping boots he used to feel excited to get to talk to someone. Get updates on everything. But now, after a few months of the new guys, he just felt afraid. He didn't make a peep. Not ever. He didn't want another beating. He didn't want to be yelled at. He would just sit there, obedient and silent.

He knew what happened if he didn't act exactly as they wanted him to. He didn't hum, he didn't tap, he didn't pace. He sat deathly still, slowly turning into a pile of weak, lifeless bones.

The captain of the guard hadn't visited him either. But that was okay. Frank and Jeffery said that if he told a soul what they were doing, it would just get worse. So it didn't matter anyways, because the king didn't care about him. And if the king didn't care, then there was nothing the Captain could do.

Now, instead of having a meal with Stan and Pete on their lunch breakF he had to scarf down his food before Jefferey and Frank could decide to take it away again if he was slow. But...if he told anyone, any other guards that happened to wander by, the meals would just stop.

Punishment.

His portion decreased in both size and quality every day. Eventually, he found himself only getting fed a few times a week. And sometimes, the pain in his stomach was so bad that when he did eat, he would just puke it right back up. So, eventually, he stopped eating altogether unless he was forced to. They didn't want him to die. No, that would end their fun. They wanted to torture him as long as they possibly could.

Because of course, he had to eat something to stay alive. So he forced down what he could when he could. He used to give the scraps to Ruddiger. But he wasn't there anymore. They had taken him away. Varian didn't remember much about that day, only that he had screamed until his throat was raw and the guards came down to beat him until he passed out.

He stared at the spot in front of him, letting today's emotion take him over. Today was a numb, lifeless sort of day. He didn't want to do anything but stare at the same spot in front of him. Usually he would have the energy to think, but food was getting more and more scarce by the day. They stopped feeding him regularly, and even stopped bathing him.

He was just sitting there, gathering dirt, grime and bacterias. As a man of science, he knew what the sort of bacterias from a dark, uncleaned dungeon could do.

He couldn't stop thinking about Ruddiger. The guards said they'd killed him.

He shivered a little from the cold, his thoughts only occupied by thinking about all he had done. He sneezed, freezing where he sat. He looked up in fear when he heard boots stop in front of his cell. He had been sick on and off for weeks, and he was told multiple times to quiet down.

He curled in on himself as the cell door opened and closed. He was too weak to fight back, coughing harshly, wetly, as the guards brought their hands down to strike him. He didn't listen to the harsh words being spoken to him, only focusing on the pain erupting all over his body. He gasped in horror as they took away his shirt and brought down a heavy leather whip against his chest and back.

He began to puke, his body unable to handle it anymore.

The guards shouted in disgust, leaving the cell and making a comment about how he didn't deserve to wear a shirt.

So they took it away for good.

He sat there in his own mess of blood and puke, feeling it dribble out of his mouth and onto the floor. He sighed, watching his hot breath as he shivered in the cold, before blinking slowly, slipping out of consciousness. He closed his eyes.

And woke up two days later, still sick. Still filthy. Dried blood and puke all over him.

And so, the process repeated.

Day after day. Hurt and hunger, until he was just a pile of delirious bones. He never had a coherent thought anymore, he never paced or mumbled to himself, and his throat was much too raw to even think about whispering to keep himself sane.

He liked to keep his brain working by entertaining the thought that Ruddiger was still alive. That the Guards only said they'd killed him to make Varian upset. But that was just wishful thinking. Ruddiger was gone. And he didn't know who had him. Or if anyone had him. Maybe he was on his own.

Just like Varian.

He counted the guard's footsteps in his head, because he needed something that would keep his brain functioning.

He listened as the footsteps got more aggressive, a tale tell sign of what was to come. He heard the cell unlock, and just closed his eyes, leaning his head back as he sighed. Pain soon followed.

Just as Always.

But he deserved it. If he didn't know that by now, he'd be stupid. It was drilled into his mind every day. His screams echoed off the walls as he was beaten and told how absolutely worthless he was.

And come the end of the year, he had fallen extremely ill. No longer did he care. Beatings were a part of his life, and so were the cruel words that were shouted at him from day to day. He vaguely remembers puking his guts out and being told to quiet down.

He accepted it. He relished in it.

The only time he ever felt warmth was when he was being beat, harsh hands or prison bats coming down and cracking upon his bones would send searing, white hot pain through his body. Bruises on top of bruises on top of fragile, cracked, broken bones that had healed wrong long ago.

Sometimes they grabbed him in places that made him uncomfortable. But he couldn't fight. He couldn't scream. Because if he did, they started doing even worse things. Started placing a hand over his mouth and tracing fingers along his body until he had his eyes squeezed shut and was writhing against their hold.

It was the only time they were ever gentle with him. When they were touching him like that. When they themselves stripped down and pleasured him.

His stomach was vacuumed in, eating away at his gut. He wished he was allowed a blanket, or—or pants, even just a shirt. Something other than the thin boxers that covered him up. But those were soon to go away too as Jeffery and Frank became more and more predatory.

It was so cold. So cold that he craved a beating. Craved those horrible touches that made him want to vomit. Because at least then the warm, well fed guards would put their hands on him. At least then, he could feel just a little bit of physical touch, even if it was negative, even if it was painful.

He rested his head against the hard, cold wall and shivered as his back made contact with it. He stared at the dark cell in front of him, and allowed silent tears to flow down his face.

He heard the boots.

Was today going to be a rape day or a beat day?

Numbness was replaced with fear, up until the moment they took his boxers off. As soon as Jefferey entered him, he felt completely and utterly emotionless. Frank forced his erect member into Varian's mouth.

Varian never did get his clothes back that time.

He was left there, dazed and sore, piles of semen all around him. He had disassociated, as he often did during moments like these. He didn't know what semen was his and what was the guard's. Some was on his stomach, some dripping down his legs mixed with blood, and some on the floor. Frank's seed was dripping down his chin. He didn't have the strength to swallow it all up.

He fell asleep sticky and cold. But he was used to it by now.

A/n: Okay, so WOW i have been on a kick lately. I actually started this story on ao3 back in August of 2023, and i've gotten lots of love ever since publishing! Everybody is so nice and encouraging, so i've decided to take it over here.

In case you didn't read the tags, this story contains child rape and molestation, which happens to Varian. It isn't glorified or made fun of in ANY WAY, and i've been told i'm not writing it disrespectfully. If you see something that isn't respectful, please let me know. It's never my intention to offend or be hateful in any way.

Enjoy the story! It also contains omorashi in a few chapters. Like I think it starts chapter 3 and continues. NOBODY had any complains about the rape, but a lot of people were mad that I "added omorashi to such a perfect story"😭 sooo I added more piss chapters just to make them mad