27. The Dam Breaks

"No, Max."

I pout. "Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Mature, much?" I tap my foot. "Sam, back me up here."

"I don't know, Max," Sam joins in. "That's not something Dean lets people get away with. To my knowledge, only our dad and I've driven the Impala. Nobody else."

"I don't see why I can't take the keys and run some errands."

Since we've been recovering from losing the Angel Tablet to Cas, I've had it in my mind to take a break from the insanity and go out and do something normal. I want to do it, on my own. But in order for me to get away from the bunker, it requires a car, and a memory map. I have one thing, Dean's being an ass and not giving me the other thing.

"Come on, I'm wasting daylight!" I whine. "Fork over the keys." I have my hand out.

"Do you even know how to drive?" Dean asks.

"I was homeless, Dean, not stupid. I know how to drive a car."

"Yeah, but how long has it been since you've been behind the wheel?"

"It'll be muscle memory," I deadpan. "Keys. Now. Or you'll force me to wrestle you for them. I might even get Sam to help me."

"I don't want any part of it," Sam voices. I stare at the younger Winchester pointedly.

"I don't know, Max..." says Dean.

"Do you still not trust me?" I grimace. "We've been in this place together for how long now? I haven't once tried to steal anything. Is that what you're afraid of, that I'll drive off with the car and never come back?" I raise an eyebrow.

Dean's mouth opens, but no words flounder out. I think I've got him trapped. There's no reason why I shouldn't be allowed to take the Impala out for the spin.

"Give me a shot, Dean," I plea. "And some cash."

"What do you want next, a key to the city?"

I'm very tempted to throw out a nice retort, but I know it's way too soon. "Keys and cash or not, Dean? I need to stock up the kitchen."

"You think you'll be able to do it on your own?"

I groan. "Yes."

I hide the smile as he fishes the keys out. He drops the keys into my hand and pulls me close by my wrist. "Not a scratch on Baby, okay? Not. A. Scratch."

"How about some cash for the food?" I feel the bills get pressed against my palm.

"You got everything on the list?"

"Yes."

"Including pie?"

I snicker. "Yes, Dean. I'll come back with some, promise."

"You better."

"Well, this shouldn't take me more than an hour and a half at best. You two try not to kill each other while I'm gone." I peck Dean on the mouth before heading for the stairs.

"Dude, did she kick your ass and leave marks where I can't see them?" Sam jabs at his brother. "You never let anyone take the car."

"Eh, maybe it's time we trust her with bigger things, Sammy."

"A few months ago you nearly shot her for trying to get away with it!"

"A lot's changed since then."

Yeah, I agree mentally. We've all changed. I've grown to trust you, you've grown to trust me. Nobody's got to worry about the other two trying to murder them while they sleep. We're living in harmony. Chaotic harmony.

"She's proved herself."

"What'd she have to prove?" Sam asks curiously.

"That she can be trusted. That she's not what we thought she was."

"Whoa, whoa, don't rope me into that. You thought she was a thief, not me. I gave her the benefit of the doubt before you did."

"For once, that fault didn't come back to bite you in the ass."

"Man, you're whipped. She's got you whipped bad."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

My smile grows as I hike up the stairs and head out the bunker doors. All right, Baby. It's just you and me. Let's spend some quality time together.

* * *

I take my time getting used to the Impala's feel. The purr of her engine I'm familiar with. How she drives...wow. Now, I can kind of understand why Dean loves the car so much. She drives nice. Fortunately for the both of us, I'm a smart and safe driver. I don't gun it over the speed limit, but I don't drive like a grandmother either. Can't say the same about the other cars on the road on my way to the store.

I'm almost reluctant to part from the Impala once I park and cut the engine off. With my list flattened out in my hand, I get out and head into the store. With a cart to push around, I hunt down the aisles I need. It's a weird feeling, to be on my own in this. The first time I went shopping with Dean hadn't ended so nicely for me. Especially since a demon had been waiting to take the chance and make a house out of my body.

How far I've come. I'm no longer homeless, and I've somehow found a home with the hunting brothers. It's strange, I haven't really thought about my family much. I guess I'm more focused on living day to day than worrying about them. They probably don't miss me anyway since I've been gone for so long.

They probably think I'm dead. I probably am to them.

As I find the items on my list, some of the shoppers remind me of my family: the mother with her three little ones, one in the cart, the other two running around; the new couple with their baby in the cart; even the mother and teenage daughter. They bring back the small memories for me, ones that make a painful beat resonate in my heart.

True, I've found a new place, a new life with the Winchesters, but I'll always remain Maxine Barton.

Once I've done a double-check of the items in my cart (almost a triple-check to ensure that I have Dean's pie), I head out to the checkout stations. The line I have is fairly short, so while I wait I let my mind and eyes wander a bit, all while keeping alert and putting things up on the counter when I have enough space to. This feels normal. Normal is a refreshing change for me.

I feel cold shock my body. Is something watching me? I try not to think anything of it. I'm in a...

Not even a grocery store is a safe place for me. It used to be until my spell in the bathroom. Nowhere expect the bunker is safe. The only reason the flaw happened was because the demon took advantage when I was out in the open. The bunker really is the safest place. The Winchesters are the people I can put my trust in right now. I would have never said that upon first meeting them. I would have told anyone that I'd been abducted by psychotic killers.

But, really, they are killers. They have killed people. Like that Nazi back on one of the cases I'd missed out on. Like that witch who had tried to kill one of their friends. Like Zeus. And I can't forget about Purgatory for Dean. I'll bet my ass he's killed there too. But that had to have been for survival purposes, like my position called for.

I'm checked out by a nice elderly lady who I feel like I want to adopt. She's so sweet, reminding me that there are some blissfully oblivious people in this world. Oblivious people who don't realize-or just don't care to recognize-just how cruel the world can be. That's how I want to be one day. Blissfully oblivious. But I want that to come when I'm way older. Thirty-three is too young to be that kind of person.

I push the cart out to the car and pop the trunk. Fortunately, there's a lot of room, so putting the bags away isn't much of an issue. I get the trunk shut and cart the cart to a nearby drop off. I swing the keys around my one finger, and I watch as they fly off. I trot to retrieve them from the ground. If I lost these, I'd be so dead right now.

"And here I thought my eyes were tricking me."

I spin around and freeze. Oh fuck. Oh no. No, no, no, no.

Meg's killer has found me. My heart is desperate to break out of my body, it's beating alarmingly fast. He's not armed, still dressed in the black business ware. His dark eyes are scrutinizing me, like they're the reason I can't run to the Impala and try to hit the demon on my way out.

"You..." I trail off. I use the keys as my weapon.

He smiles. "Me."

I need to get to the car. I need to get out of here. He's up to something.

"I'm not here to pick a fight with you, Maxi."

This takes me aback. "How do you know my name?"

His brows come together. "You've forgotten." He tisks. "I'm disappointed, I really am."

"I don't know you. You have the wrong girl."

"I don't believe I do. I remember you very clearly, dearie." My nose wrinkles at the nickname. "Let me jog your memory. Normal, Illinois, mid two-thousand-three. Come on, I haven't aged that much since we last met, have I?"

I shake my head vigorously. "You're seriously confusing me with someone else."

"Oh, I see. You've blocked me out." He chuckles. "Nice. But I think it's time you remembered."

"Don't t-"

But he's already got a hand against my face, and I cry out in pain. The barrier that has kept it hidden for so long has broken. Like someone exploded the dam in my head. I almost forgot about that dam. Life had been the reason I forgot about it so quickly.

I buckle to my knees as I find flickers: cold nights; peeking in through the window; Mom and Dad solemn on the couch; Mom in the hospital; a sharply dressed man; the English accent; the offer that sounded too good to be true...

"Enough!" I pull away, having a pratfall on the pavement.

He stands over me. "Do I need to kiss you?" he teases.

"No." I gulp, putting a hand to my head.

"Now you remember," he says plainly.

I slowly get to my feet. "I blocked that out for years, you dick."

"Oh, now, now. That's not a nice way to greet an old friend." I cringe as his eyes fill with red, not black, not the traditional demon eyes. "It's been a long time, Max."

"Not long enough." I rub my temples.

Wait a second...

A cold horror sweeps through my veins. Thanks to Crowley-his touch also brought me back a name-I remember everything. How he and I had met. How he mercilessly followed me, his way of pressuring me. How, in the end...

"No," I hiss.

He smiles impishly. "Oh, yes, Maxi. There's that brain of yours."

I take a wary step back. "You fucking son of a bitch."

"Phew, you're rough with your manners," he snaps. "I only came here to talk."

I don't want to hear what he has to say; I turn on my heel. I jump back as he appears right before me, shrugging innocently. I scowl heavily. "Out of my way, demon."

"That's King of Hell to you," he spits. "I'm not here to abduct you. Since I saw you hanging around with Moose and Squirrel, I figured I'd pop in as a reminder to you."

I ignore the nicknames. "I don't need one."

"Oh, I think you do. You see, if you've lost track, you're due date's coming up fast, Maxi."

I feel my upper lip twitch. "No, I've still got a few more years, Crowley."

"Not according to this year's calendar. It's twenty-thirteen, Max. Do the math. You've got a few months left."

My hands curl into fists, and I feel like if I'm pissed enough I might just break the keys in my hand. I'm not scared right now, I'm royally peeved. "You tricked me, you bastard."

"I did no such thing," he protests. "I made you an offer, and you took it."

"You practically bullied me into it!"

"Again, I did no such thing." He shakes his head. "And judging by the anger in your voice, the Hardy Boys have taught you a thing or two about the world." He frowns a bit. "A shame. I wanted to break the news to you."

Right. Now that I remember the business deal I made with Crowley, and now that I have some new knowledge in mind, I realize something awful.

I'm a dead girl walking.

I breathe through my nose loudly, feeling my boiling point rising. "You're gonna pay for this."

"Oh, am I? What are you going to do about it, Max?" He raises a challenging eyebrow. "You think the boys will save you? They can barely save others and themselves! What makes you think you'll be able to avoid your expiration date, hmm?"

Dean. Sam. They need to know this. Or do they? They've got enough on their plate with the trials and the tablets. Is this something I need to handle on my own? But their help would give me a better shot of living...

"Oh, I'll avoid it, and maybe kill you once I do," I say defiantly. "You took advantage of me once. I'm not gonna let you win again, Crowley."

"Oooh," he says amusedly. "That I would love to witness. We'll see how well that works out for you when Judgment Day arrives, shall we?"

In the usual fashion, Crowley is gone within a blink. I keep the scream from causing a scene by keeping it in my throat. I run for the Impala and tear out of the parking lot, nearly hitting pedestrians and other cars on my furious drive back to the bunker.

**[dramatic music plays]

I promise the reason will be revealed.**