❝ N O T  G O O D  E N O U G H ❞

Addilyn pulled into the Arlington National Cemetery parking lot.

If anything, she couldn't have settled for less. She had perpetually asked her aunt and uncle to have her father interred in the greatest military instead of LA or the base in which he had served at last. After all his years of service, he deserved that.

"Now, Mr. Quackington," she addresses the duckling, the lower part of his body protruding from a half eaten box of Cheez-its situated on the passenger seat. "Do you want to meet your grandfather?"

Not oblivious to the quiver in his owner's voice, Mr. Quackington quacks reassuringly, telling her he'll be fine as she goes on.

"Are you sure?"

Addilyn could've sworn the small bird rolled his eyes, causing her to grin briefly. "Okay. Just quack if you need me."

Mr. Quackington didn't hear her, as his head was once again buried inside the box. The girl takes several deep breaths before pulling the keys out of the ignition, leaving the windows partially down for her pet. She jumps out of the Yukon, grabbing the roses and candles she had bought earlier.

She barely noticed where her feet took her as her clouded over with a storm of thoughts. She wondered whether Corbyn had found another girl to sweep off her feet and date. She wondered how many times Aurora had bit Jack in the past week she's been gone. She wondered whether Corbyn still had the stuffed pufferfish she had gotten him, as a testament to their first date. She wondered how Zach and Carmen, Daniel and Adrian were doing. She wondered how Corbyn had taken her leaving him, and whether or not he missed her and wanted her back.

She had switched her phone to airplane mode a while ago, to stop the constant buzzing, ringing, and dinging, a painful reminder of what she left behind.

'Charles Rivera'.

'Louis Rodowsky'.

'Scott Rodowsky'.

Addilyn barely spared those names a glance, looking for one in particular.

'Kaleb Rogers'.

She knelt before her father's grave, placing the roses in front of his tombstone. She traced her father's name lightly with her fingertips, mouthing the words and feeling the first of many tears prick the corners of her eyes. She lit the two white, thin, tall candles, placing them on either side of the tombstone carefully.

Addilyn leans forward, pressing her forehead against the cool granite as tear trails make their way down the sides of her face. She closes her eyes, feeling the Washington, D.C sun beat down on the back of her head and the light breeze cool her body. Briefly composing herself, she sits up again, placing her hands on her stomach and crossing her ankles.

"Dad."

That one word let loose everything she was holding inside; her doubts, fears, insecurities, memories, thoughts, feelings. Her new friends. Carson being kept overseas again. Corbyn.

Tears flowed freely as she spilled her story to the wide blue sky, hoping her father could hear her story - whether he's beyond the clouds or still stuck on the mission that left him MIA.

"Dad, I miss you so much," Addilyn weeps, not bothering to wipe away the tears falling into her hair. "I miss you, I miss Carson, I miss Corbyn. Oh God, I miss Corbyn. There's never been anyone like him. You would like him. He's . . . . He's the best thing that anyone could hope for. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me since-"

She couldn't bring herself to say 'since you left'. She pauses, gathering herself before continuing. "He's so quirky and smart and just himself. He can come up with the weirdest things on the spot and in the planet. He is so obsessed with video games, like the League of Legends you and Carson would play every time you came back. He isn't afraid to challenge me. He's the sweetest boyfriend anyone could ask for."

Addilyn took in a shuddering breath. "But I'm not good enough. I'm not strong enough for him. It was just too much, you know? All the hate comments, they- they were just too much for me, too much to handle. Besides, I'll never be good enough for him. There are other girls who are prettier, smarter . . . .just. .ugh. I c-can't be t-that. H-he'll be h-happier off w-without me."

****

Corbyn had either been on the verge of a mental breakdown or tears this past week. Probably both.

Addilyn had been gone for a week now, and Corbyn was no closer to finding her as he was when he found her note on the table. And every minute without her was killing him.

The blond woke up from his nap, expecting Addilyn to be curled up by his side, hoping the dreadful past week was just a nightmare. His back hit a cold mattress as he rolled over to the other side of the bed.

He sighed. One could hope.

He surfed through social media, his phone texts and calls to see if Addilyn had left anything about her well-being anywhere. For the seventh day - or rather, the seventh afternoon, there was nothing.

His phone fell from his hand to the floor as his arm flopped over the edge of the bed. He face-planted into the pillow, allowing the cool cloth to surround his face.

The sound of an airhorn didn't even faze him and neither did the ball of energy that launched itself at his back, sprawling on top of him and the sheets.

"Is poor Blondie sad again?" Aurora pouted from her position atop him. "Turn that frown upside down. Pouty faces are not allowed in this house while I'm here."

Corbyn heard another person come into the room. Judging from the footsteps, he assumed it was Jonah. "He hasn't found Addi yet, I assume."

"WHAT?!" Aurora shrieks. He could feel her weight disappearing, followed by a thump thump as she hits the floor. A muffled oomph came from Jonah as his girlfriend rounded on him. "ADDI IS MISSING?!"

"Has been for seven days, five hours, and thrty-seven minutes," Corbyn mutters, turning his head to the side to speak clearer.

"AND YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL ME?"

"You were in New York with Saoirse again," Jonah defends himself.

"Never mind where I was!" Aurora shrieks. "If if had been Caramel, you would have called me in an instant!"

"NUH-UH," Zach butts into the conversation as he walks past the doorway. "You'd kill everyone in this house if Carmen disappeared again!"

The brunette sticks her tongue out at the boy before whirling around to shake Corbyn's shoulders. "Do you have any idea where she is?"

"I asked her aunt and uncle," he replies monotonously, as if Addi had taken a part of him when she left. "Checked her apartment and several other places. No dice."

Aurora frowns, trying to assess the situation.

Corbyn felt like he had lost Addilyn irrevocably, irreparably. He had nearly forgotten the promise he made to her aunt and uncle when he had first met them. He didn't know where she went or even why she left. Every part of his heart ached when he thought of her. Different scenarios echoed in his mind.

Had he not been good enough for her? Had she left him for someone else? Someone better?

He missed her; her jet black hair, her beautiful brown eyes, the way she fit into him perfectly. Her laugh, the way she smiled, her daring and recklessness. She managed to make him smile even when he didn't particularly feel like it, and managed to surprise him even though he thought he had already seen all types of crazy from Aurora.

If anything, he just wanted to know where she was and if she was okay. Even if it's with someone else. He wishes there was something that could pinpoint her location.

His eyes widened. "God, I'm stupid."

"What?" Aurora asks, her eyes full of worry and concern.

"I could've tracked her phone," Corbyn explains, sitting up. He runs his fingers through his hair, his mind racing with the possibilities. "Why didn't I think of this earlier?"

It takes him a moment to realize both, Aurora and Jonah, are staring at him. "What?"

Aurora smacks her forehead before shaking Corbyn once again. "What are you waiting for, Christmas? Go find Addi!"

****

A/N:
Hello, loves!
I know it's been forever and I am oh so very sorry. Writer's block is a bitch.
Tysm for sticking with this story!

Be sure to show hdnprplflwrs some love bc if it wasn't for her, this book probably wouldn't have been updated for another month. She wrote this chapter in her Why Don't We Oneshots book.
Isn't she amazing?

I solemnly swear I won't go this long without updating again. Another chapter will be up as fast as I can write it.