a/n: they are such moms, it makes me wanna cry.
--------------------------------------------

Things haven't been the same since last Tuesday. Dinah feels like everything is slipping out of her hands. It's like a dream; a nightmare, to be exact. She's been living in a nightmare since last Tuesday. Whenever someone asks how is she she just tells them that she's great, because that's how she's supposed to be feeling. That's what everyone expects her to feel. On Wednesday and Thursday she was still trying to convince herself that she's happy, but by the time Friday morning rolled around she is done fooling herself. She is done lying to herself.

About certain things, at least.

Today is Monday, and Normani has not said a single word to Dinah since last Tuesday. She's been ignoring her for six days. It was six days ago that Dinah last had Normani's warm hand in her own. Six days since she last saw that twinkle in her ebony eyes when their gazes lock. Six days since she could last feel Normani's vanilla perfume fulfill her senses. Six days since her cuddle buddy found a new one. Six days since they last laughed together, six days since they last had a conversation, six days since Dinah last slept properly.

Dinah would like to say that she tried to fix the situation, but she'd be lying. She has tried to talk to Normani a few times, but after getting brushed off or rejected over and over, she kind of just gave up in a matter of minutes. When the other girls asked her about it she told them that Normani is just being overdramatic and that she needs to calm down. They didn't question it any further and haven't talked about the obvious tension between the two girls since then. Well, they don't know that Dinah has been crying herself to sleep for six days now, so it's not a surprise.

She tries to avoid thinking about it as much as possible, but it's quite difficult when they're in each other's presence pretty much 24/7. Just looking at her hurts like hell. Dinah prays every night that the next day she'll be brave enough to approach her best friend. Or is it ex-best friend? Dinah doesn't even know anymore. She wakes up each morning panting and clutching at her chest, because without Normani, it gets hard to even breathe sometimes.

She's been pretty miserable for six days now, to say the least.

She tries to not let the cameras see, because, well, she's Dinah Jane Hansen. The girl who wears snapbacks with heels, the girl who smiles because she feels no reason to frown, the girl who laughs the loudest at about anything, the girl who lives life with a care free attitude, and the girl who's the first to pose for a picture at any time of the day. She can't let them see that she's been a little dead inside for six days now (especially the fans, lord knows all hell would break loose).

Because Normani has been ignoring her since last Tuesday.

Normani has barely even looked at her since last Tuesday and oh god, how much Dinah misses her ebony eyes is unbearable.

Last Tuesday, the day Dinah started dating a boy named Nela.

**

"Mani, you wanna come?" Ally asks from a foot away. They're all sprawled out on the couches in the back lounge of the bus, Lauren and Camila watching American Horror Story, mostly under Camila's will, and Normani and Dinah typing away on their phones. Dinah had trouble keeping her gaze locked on the screen instead of on Normani's pretty face, but she tried her best to not let any of the girls notice her blatant staring.

"Where to?" Normani wonders as she looks up at Ally. Dinah's heartbeat quickens when she realizes what Ally is planning to do, since the Hispanic girl already invited her as well. Lauren and Camila rejected the invitation, so Dinah knows that nothing good will come out of this. And although Dinah knows it's not Camila and Lauren's fault that Normani will say no, she's still slightly upset at them because she knows Normani can only stand to be around her if there is a big crowd.

"To the mall. The bus isn't moving, so I just figured we should go out and do something today." Ally shrugs.

"With Big Rob?" Normani chuckles lightly, making Ally grin as well considering she loves to bug the crap out of him.

Dinah wipes her sweaty palm on her sweatpants.

"I don't know, we'll ask if he wants to come." She jokes.

"Well, alright. We can go." Normani says casually, and Dinah nearly chokes on her own saliva.

"Okay-dokey." Ally turns to Dinah. "Let's go, then."

Dinah watches as Normani's eyes widen in slight horror, realization filling her features as she sinks deeper into the couch.

"Um, actually..." She starts, and Dinah's heart drops to her feet. Her heart pangs at the fact that her best friend would give up shopping so she doesn't have to be with her. "Maybe I should just stay in. I mean, I–"

"No no no no, I'll stay." The Polynesian girl cuts in instantly. "You–um, you guys go." She says with a wave of her hand, trying to seem unfazed. But the quiver from her lips and lump in her throat, that she is trying to make go down so she doesn't cry, does not go unnoticed by Camila.

"What? Why?" Ally furrows her brows, getting irritated at the two women. Or could she even call them that because as of the moment they were acting like children. They've been fighting for over a week now and it's really taking a toll on all of them.

"Are you guys really still doing this?" Camila speaks up softly from her seat, Lauren shaking her head in disappointment next to her.

"I'm not doin' anything." Dinah mumbles under her breath, causing Normani to drop her gaze to her lap. When Dinah senses how uncomfortable the silence has gotten, she jumps up from her seat. "You guys go, I'm really not feeling it today anyway." She says and starts making her way out the front of the bus, but Ally quickly grabs her arm.

"Are you sure?" She searches Dinah's face for any discomfort.

"Yeah, of course."

"Those two aren't coming either." She gestures to Lauren and Camila. "You'll be fine, yeah?"

"Yes, Smallz, it's fine." Dinah murmurs back with a smile. "I'm fine. Ya'll have fun, we'll just... watch a movie or something." Dinah shrugs and takes one last look at Normani. She's just sitting there, staring at the floor as she plays awkwardly with her fingers. Dinah lets out a sigh and skips away to the bunk area after giving Ally's shoulder a light squeeze.

She doesn't let her tears fall until she's in her bunk, the blanket wrapped securely around her body. She can hear the girls' conversation coming from the back lounge, and she can hear her own name being mentioned a few times, so she puts on her headphones and tries to drown herself in music instead of in the sadness that fills her chest.

She has no idea what she did wrong, but the sudden realization that Normani isn't her Law Law anymore makes her heart ache.

~

They're in the dressing room, getting ready for their show when Dinah's phone starts ringing. She feels a figure behind her and slightly turns her head to see who it is. Normani is standing there, her ebony eyes locked on Dinah's phone screen. She gives Dinah a look that makes her head hurt, so she tightens her hold on the phone and makes her way out the door. She only answers when she's on the hallway.

"Hi."

"Hey, babe." Nela's voice booms in her ear. "Just wanted to check on you before your show. How's it goin'?" Dinah doesn't understand why her heart doesn't flutter at the sweet gesture, but she doesn't dare to really put too much thought into it.

"Good, thanks. We're already getting ready, I'm really excited."

"You are?" He laughs shortly.

"Yeah, I'm always excited."

"You love performing, don't ya'?"

"Definitely, I mean I wouldn't be here if I didn't." Dinah chuckles.

"Right. And I love you." He says, making his voice intentionally deeper. Dinah figures he does it to make it sound more 'sensual', but really, it just makes him sound like a 40 year old pervert. But she doesn't tell him that because she'll know he'll be hurt.

"Love you too." Dinah mumbles, looking at the ground. God, why does it feel so awkward? "I gotta go now, though."

"Alright, baby girl. Good luck tonight. Shake that booty good, yeah?"

"For sure." Dinah smirks. "Bye."

"We'll talk later, love you." Dinah bites her bottom lip, and then quickly ends the phone call. She takes a deep breath and goes back inside the dressing room. She plugs her phone into its charger and looks around, searching for ebony eyes. She finds her lying on the couch, her head in Lauren's lap as the pale girls plays with her hair. Another piece of her heart chips off as she watches their interaction because that used to be her and Mani. Dinah wonders if Normani told the girls why she's mad at her, but she doubts it. She herself doesn't really know what's going on with them, but she'd kill to know the exact reason why Normani is ignoring her.

~

Three days later things still haven't changed. Or maybe they have, but only for the worse. The awkwardness that fills the air literally any time Normani and Dinah are in the same room is unbearable. The other three girls are getting irritated as well, since no one knows what's going on and they're seriously starting to worry about what the future holds for the group if the tension keeps up between them. Sure, they've had fights before, there have been times when two of them didn't talk to each other for 2 days straight, but it never dragged out for this long. That was all just little bickering compared to this.

Dinah is sitting in a bathroom stall, crying as she waits for the minutes to pass until their show starts. She is nervous as hell and the fact that she knows Normani can't be there to clam her down makes her cry harder. She tries to calm herself down, think of nice things, count puppies or something, but all she can see is Normani's judgmental face and disappointed looks whenever her eyes set on Dinah. And not her usual sweet ebony eyes that Dinah adores so much, but she looks at her with stoned charcoal eyes. So she just cries and cries and cries, she cries so much for so long until it's late, and she finds herself wiping furiously at her face to get rid of those stupid tears that just won't stop coming. She checks the time on her phone and realizes that they're going on stage in three minutes, so she quickly walks out of the stall and stands in front of the sink. She splashes water at her face, removing her ruined make-up. She wipes it off with a towel and takes deep breaths until her chest isn't aching for air anymore.

The bathroom door swings open, but Dinah doesn't jump. She's been waiting for someone to come and get her, but she did not expect the person that actually came.

"Dinah, where the fuck have you been?" Normani exclaims, her eyes wide and face filled with annoyance. Dinah just stares at her through the mirror. "What are you doing, we're going on stage in like a minute!"

"I know."

"Then what the hell are you doing here? Come on! You idiot, if I didn't come get you, you would've delayed the show!" She gestures wildly with her hand. Dinah's heart pangs at Normani's harsh words.

The girl never, not once in their lives talked to Dinah like that. Normally she would have asked if she's okay, she would have asked why she's in there, she would have asked why her eyes are so red, she would have told Dinah she loved her and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, she would have wrapped Dinah in a hug and then walked out of here hand in hand, and she would have paid three times more attention to Dinah on stage than usual, but things aren't normal anymore. And Dinah has to accept that. At least for now.

Dinah just nods silently and starts walking to the door. Normani turns around immediately and hurries to the stage, not waiting for Dinah to catch up. Not even bothering to look behind her to see if she's coming or not.

~

"Listen, you need to fucking do something or I will." Camila murmurs to Dinah, but her voice is harsh and thick with determination.

"What?" Dinah asks lowly, not wanting the other girls to hear. They're currently walking towards their car on the street, Dinah and Camila next to each other, and the other girls right behind the two.

"About Mani!"

Dinah lets out a dramatic sigh. "Camila, trust me, I've tried."

"No you haven't." The black-haired shoots back instantly.

"Yes I have. I've tried to talk to her but–"

"Oh yeah, like once." Mila interrupts sarcastically. "You're not trying hard enough, Dinah, and I can't freaking handle this anymore. None of us can. Especially not the two of you."

"What do you mean?"

"Both of you are so miserable, it's almost pathetic."

"I'm not miserable." Dinah mutters unnecessarily.

"Yes you are, and so is Normani." She says in a whisper. "I heard her crying last night, in her bunk. I asked her what's wrong and tried to comfort her but she just pretended like she wasn't just bawling her eyes out like a second ago. I haven't seen her this unemotional and unplugged from the world since her and Arin broke up." She explains with a roll of her eyes. "Seriously, you need to get a grip, Sis, or I'ma snap."

"But I don't know what to do, Chancho. I feel so helpless." Dinah admits. "She won't even look at me, and I don't even know what I did wrong!" Well, Dinah has a few ideas, but she's not ready to admit that. Not to herself, not to one of the girls.

"Just try to talk to her! Even if it doesn't get you anywhere at first, you need to keep trying. You know how stubborn she can be. I don't know why she's mad at you, but once her trust is broken, you're screwed. You're gonna have to try, Dinah, try to fix things and just get her to talk to you again. She's your best friend, you two are attached at the hip and share so much love for each other. You can't keep fucking around like this. This isn't healthy."

Dinah nods and climbs into the black car, with a hammering heart and shaking hands. She really does need to try. Normani is worth so much more than what she's been doing for the last two weeks.

~

Dinah soon discovers that finding Normani alone is kind of hard. She wonders if she's doing it on purpose; surrounding herself with everyone but the Polynesian girl, but Dinah figures that she probably isn't expecting her to approach her any time soon, so she doubts it. And it's not like Dinah made a huge effort either. Because in all honesty, Normani is pretty intimidating let alone and when she's mad at you, it's a complete nightmare. But every time Dinah thinks about the older girl her heart shudders inside, in a way she has never felt before. So she grips all the courage she can find within herself and does as she was told by her friend.

Normani is eating in the kitchen, the other three girls are all in their bunks, having alone-time. Dinah walks up to the small fridge and watches from the corner of her eyes the way Normani's body tenses as soon as she steps foot into the small kitchen. Dinah gets out the milk and places it on the table. She reaches for a bowl from the counter.

Dinah's hand trembles as she braces herself to speak up. "Do we have cereal?" It comes out quiet and shaky and in a mumble, as if she's scared for her own freaking life. Well, she kind of is because as of right now, she barely has a life without Normani.

To Dinah's complete and absolute horror, Normani just shrugs. She keeps eating her sandwich as if Dinah isn't even there.

"You were eating it yesterday... the one that Ally bought?" Dinah asks. "I–I mean, it's okay if you ate it all. It's not–"

"We only have this." Normani says, shutting Dinah up immediately. She tosses a bag of cereal in front of Dinah, and the younger one instantly recognizes it as Normani's. Because she's the only one who buys that kind.

"Um..." Dinah furrows her brows. She's actually not even hungry at all, she just wanted to get Normani to look at her again. She misses her eyes so much. And her soothing voice, her smell, the way their bodies molded perfectly when they hugged, her laugh, everything. "But it's yours." It would only last for one meal, and Dinah doesn't want to eat Mani's food. Especially since the girl literally hates her right now.

"You can eat it." Normani states, stands up and starts her way out the kitchen. Dinah's eyes fill with tears and she can't help herself from speaking up.

"Ba-Mani, w-wait." Normani stops and looks behind her with raised eyebrows. Normani heart flutters at half of the nickname that was said but she immediately scolds herself. She notices Dinah's teary expression, but she doesn't say anything about it. "I–What's, um, why are you acting like this?"

Normani takes a few seconds to think of an answer. "Like what?" She asks casually. Dinah's heart squeezes and she tries with all her strength to hold back her tears.

"Like I'm diseased and you can't stand to be in the same room as me for more than three minutes." Dinah mumbles out, her voice small and wobbly. "I-I miss you, I miss my best friend."

Normani averts her gaze, which is a little surprising because she never usually does that. She's not scared of making eye-contact, ever. Dinah wonders if she has a reason to feel guilty, too. Because Dinah has been feeling that way 24/7 for the last fifteen days and she doesn't even know what she's guilty about.

"I'm not acting like anything." Normani says indifferently, returning her gaze to Dinah's face. Her posture is cold, and it makes Dinah want to throw up because if things were normal, Normani would be comforting Dinah now and showering her face in kisses and telling her that she's beautiful and that beautiful girls shouldn't ever cry. But Normani is just standing there, looking at Dinah expectantly to see if she wants anything else.

"You're ignoring me." Dinah whispers, and Normani just keeps staring at her. "And I don't know why."

Normani's stare turns into a glare, causing the other to quirk her brows. The black haired girl laughs humorlessly, and Dinah's just glad that she finally got a reaction out of her. Even if it's a bad one.

"Oh yeah, you don't for sure."

"Well, I don't."

"Then talk to me when you figure it out, yeah?" Normani suggests coldheartedly. She gives Dinah a pointed look and then walks out of the kitchen.

Dinah hears some moving in the bunk area, she hears as Normani curtain closes, and then she bursts into sobs in the middle of the kitchen.

~

Dinah tells Camila about her encounter with the girl who's been driving her mad, but all Camila says is that she needs to keep trying and that she can't give up so quickly.

And it's not like Dinah would ever give up on Normani. Because Normani is like... her life and she loves her beyond words. She's literally all that matters. So two days later Dinah tries again.

They're at a restaurant, enjoying the fact that they don't have work today. Dinah's sitting between Camila and Ally, and Normani is sitting right in front of Dinah, next to Lauren.  They chat for about half an hour and then Dinah sends a text to Camila under the table, asking her to get Ally and Lauren to leave so she could talk to Normani in private. Needless to say that Camila was ecstatic to leave, she assumes the same for the other girls.

Within the next five minutes, Lauren, Camila and Ally are out the restaurant, leaving an anxious Dinah and a bored-looking Normani alone at the table.

Dinah clears her throat, earning a glance from Normani. That's all. A fucking glance.

"Listen, I feel like we really need to talk." Dinah breaks the silence.

"'Bout what?" Normani asks, sipping on her drink. It kills Dinah how much it seems like Normani doesn't care anymore.

"About us. What's going on with us?" Dinah searches Normani's expression for any emotion she could possibly find, but there's nothing. All she can see is recklessness.

Dinah's frowns when she sees Normani grip her cup tighter and lets  out a sarcastic chuckle.

"What is going on with us?" Normani raises her brows as she asks because she knows Dinah will look past Normani's emphasis on the word "us".

Dinah stares at her for a moment. She thought she kind of knew why Normani's been ignoring her, but this is going too far. Normani is acting like Dinah murdered her family or something, and she honestly didn't do anything that could get Normani this mad. She can't think of anything.

"What did I do? You need to tell me, Manz, because I honestly don't know anymore." She shakes her head helplessly.

"Of course you don't." Normani rolls her eyes. "You never know anything." She murmurs.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing."

"No, why do you say that? I never know anything? What makes you say that?" Dinah questions, shaking her head in confusion.

God, why is Normani so confusing? Why does Dinah find her so damn intimidating? She's her best freaking friend, God damn it. Two weeks ago they were inseparable. Normani has always been one of those people that Dinah could feel completely happy with just the two of them. To be honest, she was the only person Dinah could feel really happy with and now... now everything is just so messed up.

And apparently, she's the only one who can fix it.

"Whatever, Dinah." Normani mumbles under her breath, playing with her glass.

"C'mon, Mani..." She pleads, starting to get desperate. "Talk to me. I don't–I don't know what to do if you won't tell me what's wrong."

"I told you, when you figure it out, you can come to me. But until you stop playing this oh my god I'm so clueless Normani please tell me what I did so I can fix it shit, I'm not interested in talking to you."

"But what the fuck, Normani?" Dinah exclaims, irritated. "How am I supposed to know if you won't tell me?!"

"You do know. You just act like you don't." Normani states with a shrug, not meeting Dinah's gaze.

It's true, Normani has not acted this emotionless since her break up with Arin, when her heart got broken. 

"Why would I do that?"

"You tell me."

"Can you please stop this? You're being so childish right now." Dinah says with a roll of her eyes.

Normani gulps heavily. Dinah quirks her brows in surprise, since she was expecting a quick comeback from the older girl.

"I'm not..." Normani starts, but cuts herself off. "You know what, I'm going back to the bus." She states and stands up, throwing some money on the table.

Dinah follows her lead instantly. "No, wait–"

"Stop talking, Dinah. You clearly set this shit up and asked them to leave but you really shouldn't drag the other girls into this. It's already hard enough for them as it is."

"Normani, we need to talk about this, okay? What's–"

"I don't care, I'm done with you." Normani states firmly, shutting Dinah up and she would be lying if she said it didn't pain her to say that. She then turns her back to the younger woman and walks away, for the second time this week.

~

Even though their talk at the restaurant didn't really fix anything, at least it did get Dinah somewhere. She thought all along that Normani was probably mad at her because she started dating Nela, because Normani voiced her opinions about the guy plenty of times before. She literally hated him. And Dinah agreed with her a lot of the times, but then Nela was being all sweet and they met and he looked handsome and then he kissed her and then things just happened. Dinah figured Normani was mad because she felt betrayed or something. Or because she was jealous because her best friend found someone more important. Or because Dinah didn't even tell Normani about her new relationship, only to the other three girls, and she had to find out on her own. Dinah still to this day has no idea why she did that.

But Normani's problem is clearly bigger than that. She wouldn't get this mad because of those petty things.

So Dinah's left to wonder what the fuck she did wrong. And as she lies awake in her bunk, staring into the darkness, she can't do anything else but cry because she has no idea where she went wrong. She has no idea what happened to them. God damn it, they were so good together. Normani means everything to her and the amount of emotions she felt when she was with her made Dinah feel like a little girl again. Every single day was so good because she knew she could spend it with Normani. Every minute, second, millisecond was complete bliss because Normani was there by her side. Normani made her feel the happiest she's ever been. All of her problems were gone whenever she just looked at her. And now when she does that, the complete opposite happens. She looks at Normani and all of her problems surface.

It saddened her but she couldn't stop the fact that her twin Beyoncé lover wasn't hers anymore.

~

Normani is standing in front of her bunk, changing her bed sheets for the night. Dinah watches from the door as she struggles with putting the mattress cover on the bed. Dinah watches Normani's movements as she struggles. The way her thighs flex as she balances herself on her tippy toes, Dinah doesn't think she has ever looked this good (she thanks god and the person who invented shorts). Or maybe that's just because Dinah hasn't been able to see or touch smooth chocolate skin for two weeks now. And yes this is in an completely best friend type way... so she tells herself because Dinah is also being stubborn, though unlike Normani she is being stubborn to herself. Normani keeps cursing under her breath, and after a few minutes she just ends up yanking on it angrily. Dinah inhales deeply and walks up to her.

"Can I help?" She asks shyly. Normani takes a glimpse at her, and then looks back instantly.

"No." She answers curtly, causing Dinah's lungs to tighten. She's already holding back tears and the Normani's said one word to her. Dinah really needs to get her shit together.

"I just... I saw you were struggling with that and–"

"I don't need your help, Dinah."

Even just hearing her name come out of Normani's mouth is so wonderful. Dinah misses her more than she's ever missed anyone in her life. Which says a lot, because she hasn't seen her family for months now. But then again, Normani is her family, Normani's her world.

"Listen, I just wanna–"

"I don't care what you want!" Normani raises her voice, clearly getting annoyed, causing three heads to pop out of their bunks as they watch the interaction between the two girls.

"Can you please just listen to me for once?!" Dinah asks desperately. "You won't even let me explain anything because you're so damn stubbo–"

Normani turns around abruptly, facing the taller girl."I said I don't. Fucking. Care. Alright?"

Dinah stares at her for a few seconds. Normani's eyes are full of rage, and she's looking at her with such venom that Dinah doesn't even know who she is anymore. She wants the ground the swallow her as a whole.

She can't believe it's her best friend that's making her feel like that.

"Yeah, so I've noticed." Dark ebony eyes land on Dinah's mouth for a second, and then they're back at hazelnut orbs again. "You clearly don't care anymore." Dinah murmurs. And maybe it's only Dinah's imagination, or maybe it's just a fraction of what she wishes she'd see, but it seems like charcoal eyes were showing more pain than anger in that particular second.

"Whatever." Normani breathes out, turns back around and continues fumbling with her sheets.

~

All five girls are sitting in the back lounge of the bus. Camila is eating on the floor, but then again when is she not eating? While Ally and Lauren are playing FunRun on their phones (Lauren is obviously winning), Normani is on twitter, and Dinah's just lying on the couch as she plays with the hem of her shirt.

"Do you think they'll pick us matching outfits for tomorrow's party?" Camila thinks out loudly.

"Probably not." Normani says.

"I hope so, to be honest." Lauren rolls her eyes while she taps away at the screen. She cannot lose her winning streak.

"Why?" Ally asks with a chuckle.

"Not that I don't like us having individual looks, but we just end up looking like a hot mess. Also our stylist ends up taking ages to find outfits for us that still look bad."

"Yeah, good point, Lauren." Camila nods. "We'd have to get up at like three AM to start getting ready."

"I'm pretty sure we're gonna get up around that time even if we do have matching outfits." Normani says with a giggle, and Dinah's heart flutters inside her chest.

"Ugh, I hope not." Lauren repeats, groaning.

"I'm gonna kill myself if we do."

"Don't say that, Mila." Ally murmurs, making Camila laugh. "Damnit I just lost again!" Ally groans while Lauren pumps a fist in the air.

"Just kidding, Mama." Camila responds to Ally's first comment.

Dinah lets out a ragged breath. Normani used to call her Mama sometimes, and it always made Dinah smile because it was just so cute... Good times.

The girls continue talking but Dinah isn't paying attention anymore as the memories start rushing back to her. God, she fucking misses Normani. She just wants her best friend, cuddle buddy, her everything back already.

"You okay, D?" Dinah whips her head up at Lauren's raspy voice.

"Hm?"

"You okay?" Lauren's brow furrow in concern, but all Dinah sees is the way Normani is stealing glances at her. "You look kinda' pale."

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. Just tired."

"Tired?" Camila pouts. "I thought we were watching a movie tonight."

"We are, I'm just–" Dinah's phone starts ringing, cutting her sentence off. She looks at the ID and reads Nela's name.

"Who's that?" Lauren asks with a smirk. Dinah gives her a playful glare, and then answers the phone after a little hesitation. She would have liked to leave the room before answering because of Normani but she figures that it would've just made things even weirder.

"Hey."

"'Sup, baby girl? I promised to call tonight."

"Nothing much... We're just chilling." It gets awkward immediately. Normani's gaze is burning into her, but Dinah doesn't dare to look over at her. The other girls are woohoo-ing like idiots.

"I miss you a lot, ya' know. It sucks without you here." He says, his voice low and quiet. It sounds like he's close to crying and oh, God. Dinah is not ready for this.

"I miss you too." Dinah mumbles, and Normani suddenly slams her phone on the table. Camila looks up at her in surprise, and Dinah hears as the older girl mutters out an apology.

"I can't wait to see you again." He mutters with a crack of his voice, letting Dinah know that he is, indeed, crying. Dinah's heart squeezes, but she's not in the way it squeezes when Normani cries and Dinah wants to kiss her tears away. It kinda' feels like guilt. She's been very familiar with that feeling lately.

"Aw, baby, don't cry..." She tells him quietly. Three girls snap their heads up at that, Ally even lets out a gasp. Normani just continues staring at the jesus picture that Ally had put on the wall. Pretty ironic, because right now Normani was praying to god that she wouldn't lose her cool and cut a bitch.

"Oh my God, that's so freaking cute..." Camila whispers excitedly.

"I'm not crying, I just miss you." Nela takes a few deep breaths. "Whatever, I'll let you go now. I can hear the others in the background and I don't wanna interrupt the pajama party." He chuckles.

"You're not interrupting anything." Dinah assures, just to be polite. "But okay, then. And I'm going home soon, so don't worry."

Normani starts patting her foot against the floor of the bus, seemingly not caring by the fact that Dinah can't hear what Nela's saying on the other end of the line.

"Mani, be quiet!" Ally tells her, but Normani doesn't even acknowledge the woman.

"Well, goodnight, then." Nela says.

"Night."

"I love you."

Dinah freezes for a moment. She looks at Normani, who's collecting her things. She squeezes her eyes shut and murmurs the three words that make her feel guiltier than anything else.

"Love you too."

Dinah hears a loud slam, she hears of loud foot steps, and she hears the bus's door open and then shut forcefully. She opens her eyes and is not surprised to find only three surprised faces staring back at her.

~

The next day at 7 PM they're on their car, making their way to a party they've been invited to. Dinah's sitting in the back with Ally and Camila, Normani and Lauren are in front of them.

"Dinah?" Camila whispers.

"Yeah?"

"What actually happened between you and Mani before you starting dating Nela?"

Dinah froze in her spot; but shook herself out of it.

"I honestly don't know."

"Well what are you going to do?" Mila whispers loud enough for only Dinah and Ally to hear it.

"I don't know, girl." Dinah admits with a nervous sigh. "I don't have anything planned but I know I need to do something."

"You do." Ally nods. "This can't go on any longer. You either suck it up and get her back, or just continue messing it up."

"I think the more you waste time, the worse it gets." Camila ponders with furrowed brows.

"Yeah." Ally nods instantly.

"She's been even angrier these last couple of days."

"I know." Dinah mutters, trying really hard not to start crying.

"You can do it." Ally says, grabbing Dinah's hand in her own. "The most important thing is that you remember that she loves you."

Dinah wants to believe it, and she knows the girls are right, but the truth is she's scared in what way does Normani love her.

"Yeah, Cheechee, she does. It might not seem like it now but she loves you more than you could ever imagine." Camila's comforting words make Dinah's heartbeat quicken. "And she's still your best friend."

"And you don't even need to do it tonight." Ally tells her, trying to calm the younger girl down. "Just whenever you're ready."

Dinah nods. "Thanks guys, you're the best." She tells them with a smile. Camila presses a kiss against her cheek, and then the car suddenly stops. They've arrived and Dinah couldn't be any more nervous.

~

Dinah is leaning against the counter as she sips on her cocktail, her eyes studying the crowd in front of her. There are many celebrities here; like Ciara, Nick Jonas or Kendall Jenner, and Dinah is a usually very starstruck person, but right now all she cares about is her beautiful yet stubborn bandmate. She decides to start searching for her in the crowd, and she can only pray that she won't run into Beyoncé or something because then she would never find the girl. She'd probably just pass out in the middle of the house.

She scans the dance floor but can't find Normani anywhere, so she decides to look around upstairs. She's never been in this house before and she doesn't want to get lost considering how big it is, so she tries to memorize her ways as best as she can. She makes her way to the top of the stairs, discovering that this floor is just as full of people as downstairs. And then she notices another staircase by the end of the hallway, and lets out a sigh. She's never going to find Normani in this giant fucking house.

She sends her a text but she doesn't answer. It hurts like hell, but she tries to convince herself that Normani is only not answering because she didn't notice the message, but come on. Normani always notices them. Every single text. She always answers almost instantly, too.

Dinah decides to go to the 3rd floor and just see what happens. She walks over to the stairs and is about to take the first step when she notices an elevator to her right. She steps inside and makes her way up, instantly searching for Mani. She walks down the hallway and finally spots the darker skinned girl by the end of it. She's leaning against a wall, in her tight short white dress that is honestly making Dinah feel some type of way right now. Normani is talking to a small group of people that Dinah doesn't recognize, but then she sees Justine Skye and realize Normani is already friends with these people. Dinah's heart is slamming against her ribcage as she goes up to them and gently grabs Normani's arm.

"Hi, can we talk?" She murmurs. Normani takes a look at the people and then excuses herself and follows Dinah down the hallway. Dinah knows that the only reason Normani agreed to talk is because she didn't want to make a scene in front of so many celebrities. As soon as they get far enough Normani yanks her arm out of Dinah's grasp.

"What'd you want?" She asks nonchalantly.

"To talk."

"Dinah, I don't–"

"Please. Just... five minutes." Normani just keeps shaking her head. She tries to walk away, but Dinah grabs her arm again. "Mani, please..." She begs, her voice cracking. Normani tries to walk again, taring Dinah apart even more. Tears fill her eyes and she forgets all about the people that are surrounding them. "Please, Mani, I need you. I'm so lost without you." She pulls at Normani's arm until the girl is leaning against the wall, and Dinah stands in front of her to prevent her from escaping. "I need you to listen to me, because I can't... We can't do this forever."

"I don't wanna talk to you." Normani tells her unsympathetically.

"But why?" Dinah's voice rises, causing a few heads to turn towards their direction, but she doesn't care.

"I just don't!"

Dinah wipes a lonely tear away from her cheek and Normani's eyes widen when she notices it. And yes, Dinah does feel so helpless right now, but if she goes another day without Normani she doesn't think she'll survive.

"Just tell me why, Manz... I have no clue what I did and I can't–I just–I'm, um, I can't keep doing this to myself." She mumbles, avoiding Normani's gaze. She's too scared to look up and only find coldness over and over again. "Can we please go into that room?" Dinah gestures to a door, not wanting to cry in front of dozens of strangers.

Normani breathes out a sigh from her plump glossy lips, and Dinah takes that as a yes. She reaches for Normani's warm hand thatshe's missed so much but the older girl immediately pulls it away. Dinah lets out a shaky breath because damn, that shit really hurt.

"I'm not gonna run away." Normani states. They walk over and enter the room, locking the door behind them. "Listen, be quick 'cause I don't wanna do this." She says, and Dinah kind of breaks inside. She bites her lip to hold back a sob, but the tears are streaming down her face anyway. Normani quirks her brows. "Why are you crying so much?"

"Well what the fuck do you think?!" Dinah exclaims. Normani takes a step back in surprise. "I don't know what I did that made you hate me so much, but I don't–I can't hate you." She walks closer to the black-haired girl. "Please tell me what I did."

"I told you to figure it out, Dinah." Normani remarks, in a surprisingly quiet tone.

Oh how Dinah wants to shake the reason out of Normani, but she knows if she tries to touch her she'll just get rejected.

"But I can't!" Dinah yells desperately. "Don't you understand?! I've been trying to figure it out for three weeks now and I can't!" Dinah gestures wildly with her hands. "I drive myself crazy and I try and try and try but it's still not enough."

"Dinah, calm down, alright?" Normani asks softly. Dinah looks up at her and she looks so... impassive. A couple weeks ago if Dinah cried Normani would've swam oceans and climbed mountains if that would have made Dinah happy.

"What's wrong with me?" The taller girl mumbles, looking at Normani carefully.

"What?" Normani says, her brows knitting together.

"Why don't you care anymore? Where did I go wrong?" The Polynesian girl continues as hot tears keep rolling down her cheeks.

Why doesn't Normani love her anymore?

Normani rolls her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with you."

Dinah lets out a ragged breath, running a hand through her thick golden hair. "God..." She breathes out. "I'm not enough anymore, am I?" She voices the things she's been wondering about every day and night for the last three weeks. "I mean, okay that you're mad at me. But you just literally don't give a shit anymore, and I just... I don't know what to do to get you to want me again. Why don't you want me?"

Normani opens and closes her mouth a few times, not finding the right words. The silence makes Dinah's stomach hurt and her head dizzy.

"I'm just mad at you, Dinah." She speaks steadily.

"Then tell me why!" She pleads. "Ever since I started dating Nela you've been acting like I'm the worst person you've ever known."

Normani clenches her jaw, her cold eyes set sharply on Dinah's hazelnut ones.

"Well that's maybe because you are." She says without flinching. And in that moment Dinah knows that Normani is not lying. She really does think that. She really feels like Dinah is a bad person. It's like a punch to the gut.

Dinah kind of loses the ability to speak and just stares at the girl who has repeatedly broken her for the past three weeks (though she still doesn't understand why it hurts so much) for a moment. Normani's eyes are angry, filled with disgust. Dinah wonders how much time would it take her to lung herself across the room and jump off the balcony, because she's not sure how long she can take this pain. She closes her eyes and inhales, her throat dry and her head even dizzier than before. She doesn't dare to open her eyes because she just simply can't handle looking at Normani anymore. And then she realizes that maybe she should just leave instead of standing there with closed eyelids, so she turns around and walks out of the room.

She strolls across the hallway towards the elevator. She can't hear or see any of the people that are there. Her nightmare turned into an even worse one, and she didn't think that was possible.

Because Normani Kordei Hamilton hates her. The one person that means the most to Dinah, hates her.

She walks into the elevator and presses the button. She raises her gaze and sees Normani running towards her. Dinah wonders what she wants, but she realizes that she probably just wants to go back to the bus as well. Or she just wants to go downstairs and continue partying as if nothing happened. As if she didn't just break Dinah's heart into two.

Normani stops the elevator door with her hands and gets inside. She steps towards Dinah, so close that the taller girl has to lean against the wall. She lies her palms out by her sides in order to stop herself from passing out on the floor. And Jesus Christ does Normani smell so good and feels so good pressed against her.

"Don't you dare run away from me, Dinah Jane." Normani growls, her ebony eyes finally sparkling, her hot breath tickling Dinah's skin on her neck. She presses a few buttons while Dinah tries to get back in touch with reality. God, she fucking missed Normani's scent. They haven't been this close in ages and it's intoxicating. So intoxicating that Dinah has to fight the urge to pin Normani against the wall and take her in. The elevator starts her way down, and then Normani's pushes the STOP button and the machine kind of just dies.

"I hate you for it." Normani murmurs angrily.

"For what?" Dinah asks, confused. She takes a step away from the elevator's wall to get her balance back, causing Normani to take a step away as well.

And this is where Normani loses it.

"Oh my god! Why don't you get it?!" Normani questions with wide brown eyes. Tears threatening to spill from them. "It's not that hard to understand."

"I don't get it because you won't tell me anything." Dinah snaps back.

Normani just shakes her head, averting her gaze to the floor.

"Why do you hate me, Mani?" Dinah asks shakily. "What did I do? Why am I the worst person you know? Why is everything I do wrong now baby girl? How can you hate me so m–"

Normani brings her face closer to Dinah's, spitting her next words with venom.

"I hate you because you're his."

Dinah stares at her blankly. Her brain hasn't processed what Normani is trying to say yet, so the older one continues.

"It's not that I don't care, it's that I do. It's that I care so fucking much and I hate it."

And then the dots connect and Dinah can feel heart going through many things right now and all she can think about is how her heart doesn't beat for Nela like this.

"Normani," Dinah breathes out. "Baby, I–"

Dinah never gets to finish her sentence. In a blink of an eye Normani's hands are gripping her waist, Dinah is slammed against the wall, and plumped glossy lips are devouring hers.

Dinah reciprocates without thinking. Her hands lose themselves in Normani's hair, pulling her as close as she can get. Their fronts are pressed together as Dinah completely leans against the elevator wall. But then it all gets too much for her and Dinah feels like she isn't getting enough. So as Normani's arms sneak around her body up to cup Dinah's cheeks. Dinah pushes her and Normani to the other side of the elevator and pins her best friend against it while she lifts her up and wraps smooth dark legs around her. As Dinah's large hands go to Normani's ass to squeeze it causing Normani to moan and grind her hips into Dinah's. The older girl slips her tongue inside the Polynesian girl's mouth, and Dinah gasps into the kiss. Normani moves her tongue quickly as she lets her hunger take over her entire body. Both girls were extremely dominant, so it's not surprise to Dinah when Normani pins her back against the wall while Dinah is still holding her up.

And in this moment, every word that wasn't spoken, every look that wasn't shared, every emotion they had been feeling these past 3 weeks was finally being spoken through their kiss. While every cold stare, every venomous sentence, every awful thing they had been dealing with for these past 21 days completely vanished.

After a few minutes Normani starts to pull away, sucking on Dinah's lower lip lastly. She releases the flesh with a light smack. Dinah only now notices just how hard and fast her heartbeat is. Not only with adrenaline but also with love. She only now notices how much her hands are shaking, and how much her chest is aching for air. She doesn't open her eyes, wanting to live in the moment for as long as possible.

"Don't ever think you're not enough for me, Dinah Jane." Normani mumbles against her lips, and Dinah's breath hitches. The black-haired girl starts kissing along her jawline. "Or that I hate you." She presses kisses against her temple, and then along the path to her ear. "Or that I don't care for you anymore. I'll always care." Normani breathes against her neck. She places a soft kiss there and then comes back to her lips. Their mouths barely touch, but it makes Dinah feel more than she's ever felt before in her entire life. "I'm sorry this is so... messed up." Normani says as she jumps down off Dinah and goes to move away, but Dinah pulls her right back.

Dinah doesn't respond, not with words anyway. She brings their mouths back together, this time a lot gentler and more sensually than before. Normani starts caressing her sides through her black dress while Dinah guides the kiss. It's the slowest and most intimate kiss Dinah has ever experienced in her life. It makes her toes curl, her chest swell, and her knees tremble beneath her. Normani's lips and tongue are so incredibly sweet and addicting that Dinah wouldn't mind if she never tasted anything else but them. And everything about this moment is making Dinah lose her fucking mind; Normani's warm body, her vanilla scent, her hair as it's tickling Dinah's cheeks, her little whimpers and moans whenever Dinah kisses her just a little deeper.

Jesus Christ, why hasn't Dinah done this before? She's been literally wasting her life this whole time. This whole time she's been sucking dick, while she could've been sucking on Normani's lips.

The kiss breaks once again after a few long minutes. Dinah watches as the dark eyes open, and she simply can't suppress the shy smile that spreads across her face.

"I love you, Dinah Jane Hansen and I'm sorry for acting awful, but he doesn't deserve you. And watching you look so in love with him breaks me ev-"

Yes, Dinah's lips are placed directly back on Normani's for another kiss that leaves them both light headed. When they pull apart Dinah rest her head against Normani's and smiles wide.

"Say it again," She whispers so softly Normani almost misses it.

"I love you."

Dinah can't help but let a childish giggle escape her lips because of how happy she is.

"What?" Normani asks with a bright grin of her own.

"Nothing." Dinah chuckles out, averting her gaze to the ground. She can feel the blood rush to her cheeks.

Normani presses her nose against Dinah's right cheek. "What is it, baby?" She murmurs, using her baby voice. It makes Dinah blush an even darker shade of red.

"It's just... you–you're–I don't know... you're just... amazing." Dinah tells her shyly. Normani's lips pull into a huge smile. "A little crazy, but amazing."

"Well... I haven't been acting so amazingly these last 21 days."

"You've been counting it?" Dinah asks, her brows quirking.

"Yeah."

"Me too."

Normani just nods, her mind seemingly elsewhere. They're standing still pressed together with Normani hugging Dinah's waist, and Dinah places her elbows on Normani's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Dinah whispers.

"Huh?"

"I-I knew th-that I was hurting you by dating Nela, b-but I just didn't want to admit our f-feelings."

"What?" The older girl whispers. "Yo-you also have f-"

"I'm not going to lie and say that I love you too in the way you mean it because I don't know what I'm feeling," Dinah admitted truthfully while she played with the baby hairs on the back of Normani's neck. "But Mani, I've had these crazy, confusing feelings for you since I broke up with Siope."

"That's all I needed to hear," Normani says as she squeezes Dinah's hips. Because that's the truth. She doesn't care if Dinah doesn't fully love her they way she loves the Polynesian girl, yet. As long as there are some feelings.

"You not talking to me made them all real, I feel something so strong for you and it scares me."

"I know it scares me too, but we'll get through this together. Norminah forever remember?"

"Norminah forever."

Normani looks at Dinah deep in her hazelnut eyes as her heart beats against her chest. She's been wanting to hear all of these words for forever, but now that she has she feels somewhat guilty.

"What?"

"I'm really sorry, DJ. I've been such an asshole to you and you didn't deserve it. I just... I didn't know my behavior was having such a bad effect on you. I was being selfish, I guess." Dinah just listens carefully, not responding. "I was only thinking about my pain and I didn't even consider that you could be hurting, too... I'm so sorry."

Dinah leans forward and presses a deep kiss to Normani's plumped addicting lips. She can't believe she actually has the right to do that.

"And you're not the worst person I know, God." Normani shakes her head at herself, squeezes her eyes shut as she thinks back to their conversation. "I literally can't believe I said that." Her hands slip lower to Dinah's hips. "I could see on your face that that hurt like a bitch, and I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. You need to know I didn't mean it." She says impulsively, staring into Dinah's eyes. "You're my favorite, okay?" Normani's nodding, encouraging Dinah to do it as well. Dinah nods slowly, her lower lip pulled between her teeth. "Do you believe that I didn't mean it?"

"Yeah..."

"You're my favorite person in the world, Mufasa." Normani's eyes are set alertly on Dinah's expression, and it makes the younger girl's pulse race like crazy. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, I know," Dinah mumbles. She missed Normani's eyes so much, it psychically hurts to look into them now. They held so much power over Dinah's emotions, it's almost embarrassing. "I'm sorry, too."

"It's okay, babe." She places a kiss on Dinah's forehead. "You're Nela's and I shouldn't have been so mad."

"No I'm not," Dinah shakes her head with her eyes closed. "I'm yours," She whispers against Normani's lips. A blush creeps on the older girls face and Dinah can practically feel how wide her smile is. "That is, if you're willing to have me."

"I would be ecstatic to have you."

Normani starts taking a step away, but Dinah's hands immediately fly to her sides.

"Where are you going?" She asks cheekily and Normani lets out a giggle.

"Don't you wanna go back to the bus?"

"Not yet." Dinah whispers, leaning in. Normani's eyes find the younger girls mouth and she lets out a shaky breath. Dinah closes the distance between them, Normani's hand reaching up to caress Dinah's cheek. Dinah runs a hand down the other woman's back, and Normani shivers under the touch.

When they finally manage to break out of their little bubble, they make their way downstairs and out of the house. They tell the other girls that they're leaving, and the look on their faces when they realized that things were okay again between them was the most genuine thing Dinah has ever seen. They were all clearly stressed out over this situation.

So they spend the rest of the night in Dinah's bunk, cuddling, touching, kissing (more like making out), breathing each other in because now they can. It's the first time in weeks that Dinah has a full night of sleep. She falls asleep with Normani's head tucked under her chin, her arms wrapped securely around the taller girl's waist, their legs tangled together. It's the realest thing Dinah has ever felt and her heart beats for it.

And because of this she completely forgets all about the fact that she just cheated on somebody for the first time in her life.

--End--
I hope you all enjoyed this one-shot. As said in the description it was originally a Laurinah one-shot, but I remade it into a Norminah. If you really liked it maybe ill make a part 2...? if a lot of you guys want that. Thanks you so much and im sorry for this being more than 9,000 words. Also check out my other fanfics on wattpad. Thanks loves.

-M.