I felt weird sitting in one of the wobbly armchairs and waiting for Snape. His words made me want to take a risk – probably for the first time in my life. But my constant pussyfooting had begun to tire me. Finally I had a chance to make my own decision and perhaps begin everything anew.

My hands trembled slightly, so I laced my fingers and put them on my lap, sighing deeply as I looked around.

I could not help but imagine what it would be like to live there with Snape. Would we be happy, despite everything that divided us? Our interests, our personalities... and our age... there were so many differencies between us. Was Snape's fascination with me strong enough? Or would a couple of months pass and we part our ways just as quickly?

But I had already learnt how to live with Severus, and no matter what I had told him before, I thought I would be able to get used to living there with him. I was afraid, though, that as soon as I got accustomed, I would stop reaching for more. Because he was not wrong: I was ambitious. Maybe not excessively, but I did not want to just stop. I did not want to become a housewife with no future.

But had Snape not told me that he would not keep me there all the time? I would live just as I had until now, just with him. I could not explain that, but upon thinking about that, I felt my heart flutter.

"I found it," I heard a familiar voice. Snape entered the living room, and the door hidden behind the bookcase closed with a soft squeak. The man approached me and sat in the armchair in front of me; in his hand, he held a tiny, transparent phial; when he looked at it, he frowned. "Are you sure you want to try?"

I sighed quietly, then straightened up in my armchair. I did my best not to show Snape how much my hands trembled.

"We can't be sure if it will work," I replied quietly, setting my eyes on the bottle. I knew the potion very well. Professor Slughorn had taught me how to brew it a couple years before, when we had still lived convinced that Snape had been killed. I knew its grand, terrifying power, but it was not enough to stop me. "But there's still a chance, right? At least... both of us will know, then."

Snape hesitated for a moment, then put the bottle in front of me, on a little, dilapidated table. It looked like he was just as doubting and frightened as me, even though he was not going to drink any potion.

"You're probably the first person I know who wants to drink Veritaserum voluntarily," confessed Snape.

"Still better than Legilimency," I answered, still staring at the phial. My hands still kept shaking too much for me to reach for it. "At least you won't get to those of my memories which I would rather keep secret from you."

On Snape's face a strange smirk appeared; it made my heart suddenly beat much faster.

"You know, Shirley, that once you drink Veritaserum, I'll be able to ask you about anything, and you'll tell me the truth, right? Even if it was your greatest secret, you would reveal it to me," he warned me, and I involuntarily moved to the very edge of my seat.

I knew he was right, but I still trusted him enough to believe that he would not ask any questions that he was not supposed to ask. The problem was, though, that our opinions about which questions he should ask, and which he should not, were not completely harmonious.

"Promise me you won't ask questions that could ridicule me," I asked quietly.

Snape sighed, then leant over the table to gently touch my face. Unconsciously, I leant into the touch of his hand; it was surprisingly pleasant, and the more often he did that, the more I liked it.

"I couldn't do that," he replied, looking me in the eye. He could be lying to me, but I would still believe him. I smiled softly, touching his hand, and he added, "You know that you really don't have to do it, yes?"

I had a feeling that he already knew the answer which still remained secret to me. Despite that I was afraid that it was not the real answer, just his desire. An illusion which could never come true, nothing more.

Finally, I mustered all the courage I could and reached for the phial. It was cold, as though it had been kept in the cellar for months – and I suspected that was the case. When I uncorked it, I could smell nothing, as though the fluid inside was nothing but water.

"Cheers, Severus," I laughed, raising the bottle as though in a toast, then sipped a bit from it.

The potion had no taste, but I had not expected to taste anything. It was one of the peculiarities of Veritaserum – no-one but the person who applied the elixir could notice its presence.

"How are you feeling?" asked Snape, glancing at me cautiously, as though I was not a person but a research subject.

"I feel no difference," I confessed, "but it should be so, right? Veritaserum is undetectable."

A soft smile curled his lips, but there was something strange lurking in his eyes. Something I could not recognise and what made me quite disturbed, but it might have been just my proneness to paranoia.

Finally, the man stood up and began to pace around the room, keeping his hands laced behind his back. I observed him in silence, wondering what he waited for. After a moment I realised that he could actually think about which question he should ask as the first one. It was probably so, because after a while of wandering across the room he came to a halt and looked at me.

"You... you should perhaps ask me some trial question, right?" I suggested, feeling quite nervous. I was not sure what he wanted to drag out of me. In this state I really could tell him everything.

To my surprise, Snape shook his head.

"There's no need for that," he answered. "I know my potions and I know perfectly how they work. I flatter myself for never brewing a faulty sample of Veritaserum, and the one I brew is so strong that one could not deceive it."

I raised my brows a bit. On the other hand, he was the Potions Master, after all. That title was not for nothing.

"Fine, let's get started," he said after a long while of silence. In a couple of long steps he approached me so much that I needed to sink in my armchair to increase the distance between us even a little bit.

In this situation I really did not want him to be too close. I was already at a disadvantage, I did not want to be even weaker.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live here?" asked Snape in his calm and dispassionate voice.

"Yes," I answered without hesitation, a bit surprised by my own frankness. "Truth be told, even more than once."

I could have sworn that I noticed in his eyes a flash of triumph, which made me blush deeply. I was not sure what would happen if his suppositions turned out to be true, not just his fantasy. What then?

"Have you imagined us together?"

My heart fluttered in my chest and I felt dizzy, but I knew it was already too late to back away.

"Yes," I whispered.

"To what extend together?" he asked again, putting a strange emphasis on those words.

"Excuse me, what?" I answered with a question, blinking fast. I did not understand the question, but at the same time I was not so sure if I wanted to understand it.

Snape raised his brow, then moved slightly away from me. It did not mean, though, that I felt any safer. Quite the opposite; it was strange to watch him pacing around the room while I sat in the armchair as though being interrogated. But was it not an interrogation of sorts?

"Who were we for each other?" he clarified in the same, flat tone; I wondered if he tried to conceal his emotions on purpose, or maybe something else made him behave like that. Perhaps it was his habit...

I looked down, not being brave enough to answer the question while looking him in the eye. I felt terrible. I did not want him to know all the secrets... but I wanted to get to know them so much. There was no other solution; Snape had to hear it out.

"We were married," I muttered, sinking my fingers into the once perhaps stuffed armrests. "I guess so."

I did not know what emotions appeared on his face at the moment I said that, but before I noticed, he once again stood right in front of me. His hands landed on mine, his face was few inches from mine.

"Were those visions nice?" he asked louder than necessary.

I swallowed, then nodded. My breath had become so shallow that I found it hard to gasp for air.

"Now focus, Shirley." His voice suddenly became quiet and gentle. It was no longer so matter-of-fact as it had been just before a moment; his eyes were, too, full of emotion. I was aware of what he wanted to hear. Would I be able to give him the answer that would please him? Or maybe I was bound to take those dreams of his away forever?

I was afraid of that moment. Even though the previous questions had been making me feel uncomfortable, the one that was about to come was to influence our future. I had no idea how we were going to react – at that moment, each of us felt some strange pressure.

"You know perfectly that my feelings towards you are something... something more than the feelings a teacher has for his student. Or of one friend for another," he whispered, gazing at me with such a piercing look that I was not able to turn my face away. Was not able to... or maybe I did not want to? "Are yours the same?"

I felt weak; I was afraid I was going to faint. Snape's voice reached me as though from a distance, and I felt the need to answer that question, even though I was afraid of doing that. It surprised me, though, that at this moment everything seemed to be so clear...

"I'm asking you something, Shirley," he spoke again, more insistently this time. "Do you love me?"

I could feel his presence even better than ever: his breath on my face, his penetrating glance... the touch of his hands on mine... He was so close that if he wanted, he could hurt me.

"I do," I answered finally, without any doubt as to the truthfulness of my confession.

What Snape did then surprised me. For a moment he looked at me carefully, then moved away and took the bottle. Before I realised what he wanted to do, he strode to the window, opened it, then poured the contents out.

"No! What are you doing?" I asked, shocked, as I knew well enough the value of Veritaserum. It needed to be brewed for a very long time...

Severus looked at me with that strange smirk, then closed the window and got back to me. I did not even notice I had stood up. Having put the phial back on the table, the man took my hands.

"It was just water," he confessed.

I pulled my hands out of his grasp.

"You lied to me?" I asked, completely devastated.

"I've just bent the truth," he replied with a grimace on his face. "But we've achieved the goal, right? We both have got to know what we wanted to know. You thought you'd taken Veritaserum and said the truth. And don't be so outraged." He frowned, then grabbed me by my shoulders. "You've been lying to me for a longer time."

I did not have any answer to his words. He was right. However, I had been doing that partially unconsciously... as though a part of me had been so frightened that it had wanted to hide the truth from him and from me, just not to cause any pain to either.

"Oh my God... oh my God," I whispered, hiding my face in my hands. "I've told you everything... about what I imagined."

"It had to happen at some point," he answered slightly irritated, but a moment later I could feel his arms embracing me. I sighed deeply, resting my cheek against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat.

I had told him that I loved him... that I had imagined us married. That I had thought of living with him, and that it had been pleasant. Now, he knew everything. Moreover, I knew everything, too.

"Take that risk. This one and only time, Shirley. Now you know what would give you happiness. Could you really sacrifice it all for your fear?" he asked in a strangely sharp voice, which completely did not fit the situation. After all, he held me tight, caressed my back... If I said yes, it could become my daily life.

"I could become your wife," I confessed after a while, totally defenseless. And yet, it was not an unpleasant feeling. "I could stay with you forever."

"Then do," he answered quietly.

And then, someone knocked on the door.