A week after I had awoken, I started getting quite nervous. Madam Pomfrey still did not want to let me out of the hospital wing. At least I had got her permission to leave the bed for a bit more than just those few minutes during which I could change. Besides, she at last allowed some guests in, so I had someone to talk to.

Of course, Neville was the first of them; I greeted him with happiness. I did not feel any anger towards him, even though he was the one because of whom I had been lying in the hospital wing for such a long time. Besides, I could not help but feel some kind of relief as I realised he had not ended up in a worse state, because that was something that certainly could have happened.

"You're getting better, that's important," he said, a soft smile on his face, but there was some nervousness in it. "There was a rumour for a while... that no-one really knew how to get you better. That you're going to end up at Mungo's.

I could not help but blush, so I took a chance to just pretend I was very busy eating my breakfast.

"I admit that could've happened," I admitted finally. "But Snape found some way to heal me."

"Ah." Neville frowned a bit, then combed his hair with his fingers. "So that's why he's been coming here. I tried to get to know anything about his strange behaviour, sometimes he just spent there long hours... but still, somehow he was present during all of his classes."

When Neville said that, I felt the bite of the toast I was just swallowing get locked in my throat. I quickly took a big gulp of tea.

"I heard that someone was someone teaching my lessons instead of me." I tried to change the subject. I still found it weird that Snape, after all that had happened, had still been sitting here and trying to heal me for all those days. "Is it you?"

"Oh, no." Now, even Neville was blushing hard. "Well, truth be told, I did want to do that for you, but I didn't get the permission. Besides, you know, right after the duel... and... your ending up here... it was probable that I'd get fired."

I choked.

"What?" I managed at last.

"Well... you know..." Neville was not looking at me, and I was really lucky to notice that Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen, because I was convinced that if she was near, she would probably ask my companion to leave. "Duels, just as you said, are forbidden. When you shielded me from Snape's spell, I didn't manage to react fast enough. And your appearance surprised me so much that I actually got the spells wrong... Besides, I was trying to hit him, not you, but it somehow... bounced off your shield and got you."

He became completely silent. He had been talking about the moments I could still remember, but all that had happened later on was still a mistery to me, so I listened to him carefully.

"Snape called... some name, I guess. It was Lily," continued Neville after a while, and I felt myself lacking oxygen. "He immediately went running to you, he'd got you before you fell... well, at least before your head hit the floor. I was so terrified that I simply couldn't force myself to move. Snape apparently forgot about me, he just stood up, holding you in his arms and took you here, to the hospital wing. I've never seen him so disturbed. And... you know, back then I felt sorry for him, even if just a bit."

All of that made no sense. Although Neville's story in some wicked way fit what I had been through for the past few days, I still could not understand much.

"Madam Pomfrey didn't wait, just took care of you on the spot, but McGonagall had to hear about everyting. When she got to know what had happened... and that it had been all my fault... she was furious. She was ready to fire me there and then, but for some reason Snape confessed that he was guilty, too, and McGonagall... well, somehow calmed down. I have no idea why, but I have a feeling she really wants Snape to stay here."

She wants him... or needs him to stay, I though. I still remembered those strange conversations I had with McGonagall, and then with Snape, before the accident. Back then, I had already felt that something bad was going on there.

"Besides, it was good he was there, because he could get to healing you. I was not allowed to see you, but finally, I found a way to convince McGonagall to let me come here just once. But I couldn't teach your classes."

He stopped once more, and at that moment I was trying to put it all together in my head; it turned out to be inconceivably difficult.

"If it's not you... then who?"

Neville looked at me, surprised, but at the same I could see in his eyes something unusual, as though he was afraid of giving me the answer.

"You really haven't heard yet? Snape!"

All of this sounded like some really bad comedy. Snape in turn seemed to be the main character. A man with a hundred faces. I wondered what else he was hiding from us – and yet, I was too scared to get to know anything else.

When the hospital wing started filling with students, I felt slightly better, because all of my thoughts were finally occupied with something else than Snape alone, who seemed to have tainted everything, like some weird nightmare. However, in my conversations I also had to talk about the Potions Master every now and then, so I could get to know how much material different groups had covered during my absence.

The days had passed, and finally Madam Pomfrey stated that I was at last completely healthy and that I could get back to my normal schedule.

Never before had I felt this good. After all those days filled with nothing but boredom and thoughts about Snape being up to something, I could at long last focus on something utterly different. I could talk to anyone I wanted, and do whatever I felt like doing. Finally no-one could control where I went and for how long I was gone.

I found out with surprise that most of my students were absolutely delighted with my return. I did not allow myself to smile when I thought that it was probably caused by the fact that I had been substituted by Snape, but I still felt some kind of pride and happiness.

When the first day after my return I sat in the Great Hall to have my dinner, I was also approached by some teachers, asking me about my well-being. I assured all of them that I was already completely fine and it was true, every next moment I was feeling even better.

"I see that Mr. Longbottom still hasn't managed to kill you, even though he was allowed to get closer to you," I heard a voice behind me as soon as I had left the hall.

I came to a halt, closing my eyes. I had to count to ten to calm down even a little bit. After all, I did not want to let him provoke me, not now, after having managed to get rid of that strange obsession.

"Truly fascinating... usually the only thing he is capable of achieving is a total destruction... and yet, this time, he failed."

Until now, Snape caught up with me. I hoped that he would just pass me by, leaving me alone, but I was wrong – he stopped right in front of me. I did not want to argue with him again, but at the same time I could not just stand there and listen to those absurd things he kept saying about Neville. I did not even notice that my hands curled into fists.

"I was convinced that your office is located in a different part of the castle," I noticed quietly, my voice shaking with anger.

"I wonder if I should or should not accompany to your room, just to make sure that this time that idiot will fail to hurt you as well. This is... unusual... how a person with hardly any magical abilities is capable of wreaking such havoc, while many other wizards could not do that, even if they wanted."

"I assure you, sir, that I can do it on my own. And please, do stop saying such things about Neville."

I was surprised that this time I was much more patient with him, although I did feel that I was losing control way too quickly. I needed to get rid of him, quickly, so I would not do anything I would then regret.

"I would like to remind you that it was him, not me, that made you unable to stick to your normal schedule for over a month," said Snape, his voice extremely venomous.

I was aware that all that had happened between Snape and Neville was definitely not the most pleasant of memories, but for some reason Snape hated Neville much more than one could have ever suppose.

Besides, even though I thought of it as of something foolish and egocentric, I had a feeling that it had something to do with the fact that Neville had hurt me. I really tried to push this thought away from me, but it always came back, instrusive like a fly, because Snape kept mentioning that it was me who had got hurt in that accident.

"It doesn't change the fact you have no right to say such things about him. It was you he was duelling back then!"

"You insolent girl," he hissed, and I had to clench my teeth in hopes it would help me regain control over myself. "All this time I have been trying to save you. Just so you could walk, eat, do whatever you want. And you are still defending this half-Squib..."

"Neville is my friend," I cut in. "And I will never let anyone offend my friends."

"One day you will regret making such friends."

Once he said that, he turned back to leave. His dark robe fluttered behind him like wings of an enormous bat.

I leant back against the wall and sighed deeply. No matter how much I was trying not to let Snape provoke me, I never managed to actually do anything. Maybe because he knew my weak spots – it allowed him to do anything he could to hurt me.

That was when I realised that up to now I had still not thanked me for everything he had done for me. Of course, he had not admitted that he had offered McGonagall that he would take over my responsibilities, but both for that and for saving my life, he deserved a thank-you. But now, after this argument, I had no idea how to do that.

December had come, and snow along with it. At first, it had been very hesitant, letting white frost take its place, covering the grass and paths, but as soon as it finally came, it fell from the sky like a thick cap onto Hogwarts. Hagrid started slowly pulling the trees into the castle; they would be decorated anytime now. And there were flowers painted by frost on the window panes.

Amongst the students one could hear some excited voices. Of course, I had to remember that there would be a trip to Hogsmeade before Christmas, and it had been long since I had last visited the village. Well, now, as I was a teacher, I was allowed to indulge in that whenever I had some spare time, but for some reason I had not made use of this privilage until now, and it was a great opportunity to catch up.

McGonagall had once again vanished for a long time, but now it was not that visible – maybe because we all were now quite accustomed to her absence. However, every day I met the person that I would rather not meet. Nevertheless, everytime I did, I felt terrible remorse, because I lacked courage to approach him and thank him for his care. But every time I saw him I found a good excuse. No moment was good enough for such a conversation – for one reason or another. Yet I could not help but feel that it was just a way to excuse my own cowardice.

Neville, though, seemed to avoid me like the plague. I could not be quite sure why – maybe because he still was not allowed to see me. Or maybe because he was afraid that something bad would happen if he stayed by my side for a longer time.

The fact that Neville did not accompany me, however, did have its bright side – now, as I had finally begun to plan my conversation with Snape, I no longer had to explain to anyone where I was going or what I was doing.

Finally, I ran out of excuses to postpone my meeting with the Potions Master. The day I planned that conversation for, I felt as if I was not completely... real. I felt dizzy, and my contact with reality was minimal. At last, one of my students asked whether I really was fine.

After dinner I stayed in the Great Hall, watching it slowly getting empty. I had already noticed that Snape was usually one of the last who left the room, so I was eating way too long on purpose. To my relief, Neville had not come to dinner that evening, so I did not have to ask him not to wait for me.

At last, the Great Hall was completely deserted. I still kept pretending that I was busy reading some book, listening carefully and waiting for Snape to get up.

"You really don't have to pretend," I heard at some point. The voice was just over my ear, so I jumped on my chair. I had no idea when Snape had approached me.

"I was not pretending," I lied, immediately blushing.

An expression appeared upon Snape's face – one I knew way too well: he raised one of his brows in surprise mixed with sarcasm.

"Your eyes did not move," he noticed, and when I found no answer, he smiled softly. "Should I consider that a sign that you have been waiting for me?"

I felt weird now, as he spoke to me so politely once again, since the last time we had been talking we had parted right after he had called me an insolent girl.

"Indeed, I would like to..." I started, but Snape stopped me with a short move of his hand.

"This is not the best place for a talk," he noticed, and it honestly surprised me; until now, he had never cared about us talking in the strangest of places. "Please, follow me."

I had no idea why I did not protest at that moment. I felt some peculiar distrust deep in my heart, however, I did get up and let him lead me.