When I woke up the next morning, Snape was nowhere to be seen; I did notice, though, a couple of toasts and a cup of relatively warm tea on the bedside table. It meant that he had been there just before a moment.

To my surprise, it turned out that this time he had made sure that I would be lying comfortably in a bed – and dressed in my nightgown. I blushed deeply, hoping that he had not been looking as he had been changing me into it. At the same time, I could not help but wonder where he had been sleeping if I had taken the bed. Almost at the same moment I noticed a blanket hung on the back of the armchair. My blush got even darker.

Slowly, I slipped off the bed and reached for the plate full of toasts. I got closer to the fireplace unhurriedly, munching on my breakfast. That was when I realised that the room was actually covered with books. My curiosity could not leave me alone, so I soon began to walk along the bookcases, reading the titles of the volumes upon the shelves.

Some of them really were about potions. I could see works such as The Most Powerful Potions, The History of Potion-brewing, or Secrets of the Darkest Elixirs; however, besides those, there were many more. I smiled at the sight of the books devoted to the Defence against Dark Arts; I immediately remembered the constant fight between Snape and Dumbledore concerning his teaching that subject at Hogwarts.

"So have I thought, that you'd already got up," I heard a quiet, familiar voice coming from somewhere around the door. I almost choked on the bite of the toast I had been just chewing. "Such breakfast may not be fanciful, but you at least won't be hungry."

As soon as I managed to swallow what I had in my mouth, I turned towards him. He had not changed since the previous evening. Actually, I was not sure what I had been expecting; after all, he was still the same man. Our night conversation might have been peculiar, but it could not change him just like that.

"Thank you," I muttered almost automatically, trying not to look at him. After what I had heard at night, I could not stand his glance; truth be told, I would feel better if he did not look at me, either. But he had not averted his sight – I had a feeling that it had got even more intense now.

I sighed deeply, then returned to looking at the books; I hoped, probably vainly, that thanks to that Snape would forget that I was there. I could live there as long as we avoided each other's presence – I was not that sure, though, if Snape would want to avoid me. Not after what he had told me.

"I remembered that yesterday I forgot to give you a present," he added after a while, once again diverting my attention from the books. Only now did I realise, though, that I was so trembling that I had not manated to read even one of the titles. Because of that I had no excuse not to glance at him.

"I swear, it's completely unnecessary," I answered, and my voice sounded strange, as though it did not belong to me.

"But I want to give you this present," he said emphatically, walking over to me with a little package in his hands. "You shouldn't be so surprised; you said yourself that this is what Christmas is for, to give presents to your friends. You gave one to me, and now, I would like you accept something from me."

I really was not that sure if I wanted to get anything from Snape at all, but there was no way I could avoid that. I could only get rid of it as soon as I got it – but it did not change the fact he had made some effort to find a gift for me. Besides, I honestly did not want to upset him like that.

When he reached his hand out to me, our fingers met; his, as usually, were cool. I did not know, though, if it was the reason why I shivered softly when I felt his touch. I quickly averted my eyes and moved away from him.

"I hope you'll like it," he added, and I hoped silently that he would leave now, so I could at least open the bundly without his eyes focused on me. I did not want him to watch me as I unwrapped his gift...

But once again, I had been wrong. He had moved aside, yes, but sat down in his favourite armchair and crossed his legs, and having put his elbows on the armrests, he joined his fingertips. I felt as though he kept observing me, so there was no chance for me to even pretend that I felt comfortable. However, I had no right to tell him anything.

I put the package on the desk, doing my best not to look at the armchair in which Snape sat. My hands trembled slightly when I tore the paper, and a blush slowly slipped onto my cheeks when I realised what I had right in front of me.

How Snape had got to know that I had always wanted to get that book, I had no idea, but there it was, lying right in front of me: a brand new copy of Spells and Charms for Enthusiasts. My heart beat harder, my breath getting shallower.

"I... really, thank you," I said quietly, still not allowing myself to look at him. I was not sure what I would feel or do if our eyes met. "I... I have dreamt of this book... for a very long time."

"When you were still at school, I always thought that you liked Potions much more than Charms," replied Snape.

I could not stop myself and soon, I found myself looking in his direction. He was so calm... as though Snape in a class was someone completely different than the one who appeared in this room. There... there he as if felt more confident. It was funny to think of him as of someone who could be insecure, hesitant, shy. Yet it seemed that it was the case.

"Someone effectively managed to discourage me," I replied truthfully, though I should have probably bitten my tongue.

A grimace upon his face, Snape observed me from his seat. I quickly looked away, then stared at the cover of the book. It smelled... just new. I always loved new books. My fingers gently sensed every irregularity in the leather which covered the book; it was an amazing sensation.

"You are too easy to discourage," muttered the man, but he did not seem to be resentful. Rather... disappointed. "And if... if I gave you private lessons from now on?"

I felt something strange around my stomach. I fought with that temptation, but finally, I gave in and once again looked into Snape's eyes. Maybe it was just the light playing upon his face, but at that moment he seemed to be less pale.

"I could teach you a lot. What we teach at school is indeed a small percentage of what a wizard could achieve. And potions... potions mean power."

Snape stood up. His voice sounded quite mysterious, but I recognised that hint of solemnity whenever he spoke about potions. Despite his love for dark magic, one could not deny that he simply adored potions and this school had probably never met a teacher better than him when it came to brewing them.

I hated those lessons. However, the Master of Potions was right: I loved potions, maybe not as much as he did, but I still felt quite fond of them. I admired looking at them as they changed their colours... as they bubbled lazily in the cauldrons... it was wonderful to be able to measure out the exact amount of ingredients and discover how subtle the differences were.

"I teach History of Magic now," I answered, frowning, but I knew that I wanted to refuse him only to prevent meeting him more often than it was necessary. "The knowledge of..."

"The knowledge of potions can always come in handy," interrupted Snape, approaching me in just a few, long steps. I wanted to move away, but I only hit the desk and grimaced in pain. He, however, did not notice that. He seemed to be quite feverish when he caught my hands. "Wherever you are. If not for potions, you wouldn't be here."

I had to admit that he was right, even though I really did not intend to say it out loud. I could not accept his offer. Otherwise he might think that I said yes to more than just casual lessons. Besides, what would the students think?

"I will help you reach greatness, Shirley. You won't have to stay here as a teacher..."

"But I do want to be a teacher!" I protested, slipping my hands out of his grasp. I made a few steps away from him, feeling blood rushing to my face. I was not sure if I was telling him the truth, but I had no ideas as to how to refuse him.

"You don't have to lie to me," he replied, and I reminded myself about that terrifying ability of his that let him sense my thoughts.

"I cannot agree, Professor," I explained after a moment of silence, glancing at Snape over my shoulder. "What are the students going to say? Or the rest of the teachers? They will definitely notice that we go somewhere together."

Upon his cheeks appeared dark spots I had never seen before. I was not sure whether I had or had not gone too far this time, but he did not raise his voice at me. He did not even grimace.

"Since when do you care about what others will say?" he asked only, frowning, his eyes darkening. "Until now, I have always thought it was just the opposite."

I quickly turned to face him. That was when I remembered that I wore nothing but my nightgown, and felt ashamed. Thoughtlessly, I wrapped my arms around myself, hoping that Snape would not see anything weird in that gesture.

On the other hand, I really wanted him to notice that, so that he would let me change into something that would let me feel at least a bit less awkward. But could I ever feel comfortable in his presence?

"But we are both teachers now," I said. "We should be the example..."

"Then be one, and show your students that learning... getting to know new things is worthwhile, even after having graduated from school!

I felt that Snape had defeated me. No matter how much I tried to refuse him, he always could find some counterargument. Besides, if I were completely honest, I felt weirdly tempted to agree. However, I was scared of meeting him, face to face, with no-one else in the room but the two of us.

"What would I be supposed to give you in return?" I asked hesitantly.

The Potions Master did not answer, and I was unsure of the reply that could come at any time. I still kept a safe distance between the two of us, and whenever I could, I avoided eye-contact. My heart still kept hammering in my chest way too fast and hard, but I could do nothing to calm down. After a while, I felt dizzy.

"Nothing," he said at last. "Understand that I only..."

He stopped. Until now, I had never seen Snape in such a state. Hesitant. Real. Without the mask he kept putting on every day, which made him become a fearsome Potions teacher. If I agreed, would he become so strict again?

And if he would not... if it turned out that he would be just like he was now... would he teach me just as much as he had when I had been at school?

No. I did not even want to let the thought of meeting Snape during those classes in my mind. It was not even about what the people would think anymore... I was simply afraid of my own feelings and thoughts that could appear.

"You want to see me," I whispered at last, knowing that I was not going to hear the rest of the sentence. "Is that what you wanted to say, sir?"

"I want to protect you. I want to know that you have nothing to fear, and with me... with me you'll be safe. I can't guarantee much, but this is the one thing I can."

I did not even know when he had approached me, because I stood with my back facing him, staring at one of the bookcases. But even the fact that I had been staring at the title on the spine of one of them did not make it any easier to focus on anything. Snape had that one, bothering trait that he was not someone about whom it was easy to stop thinking. And I was not quite sure if that trait was good or not, since I thought about him differently every time.

"I... I know... that I am not someone about whom girls your age could dream," he whispered, and only then did I realise how close to me he was, since his breath gently brushed against my ear when the man leant over me, placing his hands on both of my shoulders. "That I'm... older than you... and that I've never been handsome. And that many consider me cruel. But know that it will never..."

He stopped once again. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine that I was in some other place, but instead, it made me focus even more on the fact that I was all alone with Snape. That he was so close to me. That once again he opened his heart to me, ready to accept every blow. But I really did not want to hurt him at all.

He was not handsome, but there was something in his face that made it quite fascinating. Of course, he was much older than me, but his protectiveness made me forget about this age gap surprisingly fast. And yet... yet, I could not be with him. I was afraid of the changes in his personality, depending on where and with whom he was. Not to mention, he had once been my teacher. How could I let that happen?

"Please, stop it," I whispered after a moment. I did not want anything to happen if it would be something we could both regret. I did not want to make him suffer – so maybe it was better to stop it now. "Please."

"Why?" he asked, a dangerous hint of irritation sounding in his voice. "What makes you keep pushing me away?"

"For God's sake, you're my teacher! Besides... besides, such stories take place only in fairytales, and not..."

"This is not a fairytale, Shirley. But it does not change the fact that you can be happy at least this once. And you can make me happy."

He was almost curel when he gripped my arm, forcing me to face him. Our eyes met, and I was not prepared for that. If I only could run away... close my eyes and disappear...

"You are a teacher, just like me. Nothing stands in our way, Shirley. No-one has ever said that if you want to be a teacher, you must choose to be alone," he whispered feverishly, cupping my cheeks in his hands. Now, as I felt strangely hot, the cool of his hands was almost pleasant. I put my hands on his wrists, wanting to free myself from him, but for some reason, I could not force myself to do it.

My heart hammering madly, I felt dizzy, as though I was drunk. Snape gently leant his forehead on mine.

"We are so alike," he said so quietly that I could hardly hear his words. "We could give so much to each other... if you only let me..."

I did not want to let him, but... oh, God, yes, yes, I did want to. A part of me could no longer resist. I closed my eyes, but no longer attempted to fight with him. I felt him leaning close to me. I did not forbid him to kiss me this time.