My head ached. I was glad that no-one had thought about illuminating the room more than that, otherwise I would not be able to open my eyes. Apparently it was still night – I wondered how much time had passed since I had lost my consciousness. I could only hope it had not been as much as after the accident in the dungeons...

I groaned quietly and propped myself on my hand, trying to sit up, but it turned out to be harder than I had initially thought. My body seemed to be strangely limp and powerless, just like back then, when I had woken up after many weeks spent lifeless in the bed.

"Lay still, otherwise there won't be enough pieces to sweep up," growled a voice behind me.

I was not strong enough to argue, so I fell onto the bed helplessly, only now realising that I was not actually in the hospital wing. This place was much smaller and definitely darker. There were none of those characteristic white walls and rows of beds at both sides of the room.

"Where am I?" I asked unconsciously. I closed my eyes, but opened them a while later, trying to finally focus my eyes upon something to recognise the place, yet it turned out to be too difficult.

The man behind me kept shifting something, I could hear some quiet tapping of items being put aside and jingling of some glass.

"You have a talent for attracting problems, Shirley. The... Heamistress... is now thinking if she's made a good choice accepting your application."

My heart immediately started beating faster, and I could not stop myself from sitting up. I felt dizzy, but not enough to lose balance. Maybe I was not the best of teachers, but I definitely did not deserve being fired after just a couple of months.

Before I said anything, though, I remembered the last moment that was still stuck in my memory. There was something in my butterbeer that made me lose my consciousness. Someone must have poured something inside...

My suspicions at once rushed towards one person, one of the two that had got close to my chair during the dinner, close enough to be able to pour anything inside my mug. Besides, there was only one I could actually think of.

"You tried to poison me!" I cried, glancing at Snape, who stood there, brewing something in a small cauldron.

The man looked at me, bored, maybe even irritated, then sighed and waved his wand at me. I felt some invisible force putting me back into the bed. The blanket wrapped tightly around me, as though creating a straitjacket; even though I tried to free myself, I could not do much.

"Shut up, Shirley, or I will ask the Headmistress myself to get you fired," he scolded me. "I would have never botched it as much as the person who tried to attack you."

My heart seemed to have jumped up into my throat and begin to hammer so hard I could hardly breathe. If it had not been Snape, then who? There was no-one at school I could believe to be my enemy. I may not be a friend of everybody there, but it did not mean that the people around me were hostile towards me.

"Moreover, I only know one person whose achievements were so pitiful that he was not able to brew a simple Sleeping Solution," added Snape after a moment, as though drinking his own words in. I could not really understand why he was so delighted by that fact, but the answer was just about to come. "And so it happens that this one and only person is no-one else but your best friend, Longbottom."

"No."

I did not know myself when those words managed to find a way out of my mouth. They surprised me probably just as much as Snape.

"No? Then know, Shirley, that I know my students perfectly well. I know, who tends to do what. And either someone pretended to be Longbottom quite skillfully, or Longbottom himself decided to make you drink the potion."

Chills went down my spine. Truth be told, I was able to believe that the Potions Master could recognise which students made which mistakes. Probably that was what terrified me so much... because I really did not want... I could not believe that Neville could have put anything in my drink! On the other hand, he had never left the table. Moreover, I had not been looking in his direction, as I had been busy arguing with Snape. It would not have been difficult for him to just pour a couple of droplets of some potion into my butterbeer...

"But it makes no sense..." I groaned quietly. "Why would Neville have tried... it makes no sense..."

Snape rolled his eyes at me.

"Stop pouting like a little baby, Shirley. You are safe, at least as long as you are here," he said stiffly. "The Headmistress did not let me take you to the hospital wing. Apparently she is concerned something really is going on."

I did not answer. I just laid where I was, staring at the ceiling above me. No wonder it was so dark in here... after all, it was Snape's room. I felt at least awkward, knowing it was his bed I laid in.

He had saved me for yet another time, even though just a couple of hours before I had quarrelled with him so much. There was simply no reason for him to once again fight for my health, maybe even life... but he had done that, nevertheless.

"The Christmas break will be over in a few days," he spoke after a moment, his voice just as cool and dry as before. "Until then, you will probably be completely healthy and Madam Pomfrey will state if you are capable of getting back to your usual schedule."

I opened my mouth to form some kind of a thank-you, but my voice got lost in my throat. I did not understand why it was so difficult to me, because it was all about just two words. But maybe I was worried that he would not treat my words seriously. Or that they would not sound as honest as they should.

"Will I be able to get back to my room?" I asked hesitantly.

Snape came to a halt and turned in my direction. His hair veiled a half of his face, and I would swear that he had done that on purpose; perhaps he did not want to look at me. Besides, I had some problems with looking him in the eye.

"And wait until that idiot decides to finish you off? No way. You are going to stay here," he answered immediately.

Finally, I managed to free myself from this merciless embrace of the blanket, then sat up on the edge of the bed, looking at Snape. My heart kept hammering madly. I was glad, though, that I was still in my robes, that he had not changed it to my nightgown.

"Absolutely not. This is your room. Your bed. I am not going to stay here," I protested, even though I did realise that I sounded like a spoilt teenager, not like a grown-up woman.

"I don't intend on letting you go, understand?" In Snape's voice I could once again hear the very same strange tone. He was furious at me, for sure, but despite that, I could hear something completely different. As though he was worried about me... and I perhaps I could believe that now, as I knew the truth – or at least a great part of it. "Somewhere out here there is someone who wants to either kill you, or hurt you in any other way. I am not going to just sit here on my hands, watching them hunt you down."

I felt guilty. Snape did not deserve even a half of my aversion towards him,but still, there was something about him that made it simply impossible for me to like him... or at least to dislike him a little bit less. Even though I should.

"I don't have any enemies here," I muttered doubtfully. "It's... impossible that... m- maybe it was some kind of a mistake..."

"Oh, of course, people usually pour different potions into someone else's drink by mistake," interrupted Snape, clearly irritated. "And what else, Shirley? By accident cast spells at them? Maybe Avada kedavra?"

I slowly slipped onto the floor; it was cold. I was happy, though, that in the fireplace nearby the fire was still crackling, because Christmas that year was really freezing.

"I don't think it could be Neville."

"Even if it was not him, then there is someone else. Someone who – for some reason – wanted to either poison you or put you to sleep. Think about it, Shirley," he said quietly, leaning towards me so closely that our faces were just a few inches apart. "I have no idea why he wants to do that, but he must have some reason. You don't have to like me, but you have to trust me, otherwise I am worried that there will be nothing to send to your family so they have anything to bury."

I felt some strange sensation around my stomach when he said that. I folded my arms across my chest and turned my face away, making a step sidewards.

"I trust you," I answered finally. After all, that was the truth; he was the only person who really tried to save me. To whom I owed my life – and now, twice. I had no idea how I would ever be able to pay this debt off.

"I told you that there were things you shouldn't meddle into, because you'll get in danger," added Snape.

I turned towards him and frowned as I looked at him. His figure was almost blended with the background, tall nad thin, looking more like a sculpture, not a real man. However, his eyes were so brilliant that he could not be mistaken for any sculpture. I found it quite fascinating, since I had always thought that his eyes were dull.

"I stayed away from them – and what did it get me?" I asked, annoyed. "Why does nobody want to explain anything to me?"

"You are so impatient," snapped Snape. "If you are not cautious, you will not end well. You'll get to know the truth when the time comes."

"How am I supposed to be cautious if I don't know what or who I am supposed to protect myself from?"

I honestly hoped that I was not going to hear that I should keep myself away from Neville, because now he was no threat to me. To my surprise, I really did not hear anything similar to that.

"This is why you need to stay here. At least for as long as it's possible. This way I will be able to protect you."

Once again I turned my eyes away, staring at the crackling fire. Slowly, I approached the fireplace, but I still felt some weird cold that had nothing to do with the frost outside the castle.

"I don't want anyone to have to protect me all the time," I replied finally. "I don't want it to be you, Professor."

I heard no answer. I was not fully sure that it was a good sign, so after a moment I forced myself to continue.

"I already do owe you my life. You have saved me twice. I feel bad knowing that... that I am not able to thank you in any way... or return the favour, perhaps. Moreover, I don't even find myself capable of having a normal conversation with you, because in every case it ends up with an argument."

I felt ashamed of telling him all that, but the shame got even greater as I thought how selfish I had been for a great majority of time. On the other hand, I could not help but feel that when I said that, I got rid of some burden right of my heart. Burden that seemed to have been stuck there for months, but which I had not been able to rid myself of in any other way.

I sighed, adding nothing more. I was not sure what else to say, even though I had a feeling that there were still so many things that I should have said... but I could not put them into words, no matter how hard I tried.

I wrapped my arms around myself even more tightly. There was complete silence, and for a moment I thought that Snape had either fallen asleep or just left, not wanting to listen to me. It it had been so, I would not be even surprised. But after a moment, I felt a touch of someone's hand on my shoulder, and a blush spread all over my cheeks.

"I will protect you, as long as you let me," he said in a voice that did not suit him at all. Or maybe it was just an impression, because it was so different from the voice I usually heard from his lips. "I don't want to watch you getting hurt."

"You don't understand..." I began, but he cut in right away.

"I understand perfectly. Do know, then, that nobody forces me to keep rescuing you. I do it of my own free will. I would be afraid to trust anyone to take care of you, especially at a moment like this, when I don't know who assailant is. I'd rather keep you close and keep my eye on you."

I did not answer that time. My cheeks seemed to be burning and I knew that in the light of the fire nearby Snape would be able to notice a blush. I prayed that he would not look at me. I did not want him to look at me.

However, my prayers were not answered; otherwise I would not feel a gentle touch on my cheek. His hands were always cool.

"You should rest."

I shook my head. I did not want to get back to bed, not after having lay there, unconscious, for a couple of hours again. At the same time, I was under the impression that he was trying to get rid of my company, and I... I was afraid of running away for yet another time. It never ended up well. On the other hand, was facing the reality not going to turn out to be even more fatal to both of us?

Perhaps that was what Snape thought, too, because he moved away from me and got back to preparing the potion. In the cauldron, something was constantly bubbling. I slowly turned to look at him, but I only faced his back.

"Maybe it would be better if you had got back home," he said quietly. "You would be safe there, among your family, far from me..."

I glanced at him in bewilderment; had he not been saying something about me being safe so long as I stay by his side just a moment before? Why all of sudden did he want me to get back to the Muggle world now? Was I not exposed to even greater danger there?

"I don't want to get back... my home is here," I replied at once, and he, as soon as he heard that, turned towards me.

"You should have a home of your own. Home where you will be getting back for holidays."

I pushed my hands into my pockets. Yes, my parents' house. But even though I did love my parents, we disagreed on way too many matters for me to feel comfortable there. We belonged in two different worlds.

"Maybe I could rent a room in Hogsmeade," I muttered, thinking out loud.

"This is not what I mean," replied Snape irritably. "This is not home."

Apparently he had already finished brewing the potion, because he had put out the fire and filled a little phial with the contents. He did not cork it in, though, but stepped closer to me and handed the bottle to me. Without a second thought, I took it from him.

"Drink, it's a Strengthening Solution," he said. "You may not want to rest, but this is what you need."

At first I wanted to refuse out of sheer defiance, but I knew that it would be way too foolish of me, so I resigned and put the bottle to my lips.

"I sometimes wonder," continued Snape, turning away from me, "what a true home looks like. Because, you see, I have never had a home of my own, either. I have a... house... in Cokeworth. I always get back there for holidays, but not many know where I live."

I was not sure what he was aiming for, so I listened intently. I had drunk the contents of the phial, and now, I put it back on the table.

"There was a time when I hoped that it would change. It was... long ago." On his lips an almost unnoticeable smile appeared. A boyish smile. Completely different from the grimace of sarcasm I usually saw on his face. "But back then, it ended up being another disappointment. Yet now..."

He turned towards me once again, and I felt quite awkward when our eyes met, but I could not look away.

Very slowly, Snape approached me, and I made a couple of steps back. I did not want our conversation to end with another quarrel and greater unpleasantness, and whenever he got too close, there was no other way it could end.

"I would protect you," he whispered, suddenly holding my arms; I would not be able to escape now. "You could be happy."

I opened my eyes wide, not believing in what I heard.

"Professor," I started almost accusingly

"I would give you a real home. Not a place where you could survive. A home... And you could let me experience what it really is."

Now no potion was needed this time. Perhaps I had stopped breathing for a longer while, because I felt dizzy and there was darkness all around once again.