I stopped outside of Zeke’s bedroom door, my heart slamming and my body numb. I had dreamed about dating Zeke for so long, and now I was just going to put an end to it all. But it was for the best.

                “By the rivers of Babylon.”

                Zeke’s voice drifted out softly through the door. I slowly opened it and let myself in, my heart constricting. Zeke was staring at his ceiling, a picture in his hands.

                “Where we sat down. And there we wept, when we remembered Zion.”

                He stopped and glanced at me. “Tommy, I know why you’re here. Before you saying anything, just hear me out,” he said, sitting up and patting the spot on his bed next to him.

                I hesitated before going and sitting next to him. He set the picture down and I realized it was a picture of us. I was 13 and Zeke was 15 in it, and we were hugging because Zeke had just passed me the ball and I shot it to score the championship winning goal.

                Zeke took my hand in his and looked into my eyes deeply. I dropped my gaze from his, remembering that he thought my eyes were creepy.

                Zeke gently grabbed my chin and tilted it, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “Your eyes are beautiful Tommy. I want to look at them,” he said simply.

                He sighed. “I know I hurt you Tommy. I know my confused feelings hurt you, and I am so, so deeply sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Never. I feel so strongly for you Tommy. It’s not exactly love, but it’s not far off, either. I don’t want us to break up, Tommy. I’m sorry we fought. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I still have feelings for Kory. If you want to break up with me, I’ll understand. But I won’t like it. I want to be with you Tommy. You make me so happy.”

                He fell silent for a moment and bit his lip. “Okay. I guess that’s all I have to say right now. You can…you can say what you came here to say now,” he said softly.

                I kept my mouth shut, knowing that words wouldn’t come even if I opened it. I searched Zeke’s eyes but only saw honesty in them. He really meant what he said.

                “Zeke, I’m not going to break up with you. Yes, I was going to. But I just…I can’t,” I said quietly, finally finding my voice. “But our relationship is so strained right now. So fragile. You know as well as I do that it won’t take much to ruin it.”

                Zeke nodded sadly. He pulled me close, hugging me. “We can fix it Tommy. I know we can fix it. Fix it better than Bob the Builder,” he promised, kissing me gently.

                Having missed the feel of his lips on mine, I deepened the kiss. Zeke pulled away and smiled weakly.

                “I’m sorry Tommy,” he whispered.

                “Don’t be,” I said, feeling relief as I managed to control my emotions again. I was still hurt and confused, but for the moment, I was with Zeke and I could control my feelings again.

                Zeke gently traced his fingers on my lips, staring into my eyes. I mentally sighed, knowing I needed to ask him and find out.

                “Zeke, do you think I look like a little kid?” I asked flatly. Zeke pulled his hand away and shook his head, looking confused.

                “No. You don’t look like a little kid. You look like you’re 15, which you are,” he said. Suddenly, anger crossed his features.

                “Tommy, has someone been insulting you? Was it Davey? Greg? I’ll hurt them. I really will. I don’t want them to give you problems. Are they giving you problems Tommy?”

                My lips twitched a little. Okay, so he was freaking adorable when he went serial killer mode like this. I shook my head at him.

                “I was just asking,” I said casually. “Calm your boner kid.”

                Zeke rolled his eyes. He tackled me playfully and kissed my neck as he laid on top of me on his bed. He smiled softly.

                “I missed you Tommy,” he said softly.

                “It’s only been, what, a day or two?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

                Tommy kissed my lips. “I know. But that was way too long for my liking.” He began to kiss my neck until he found my soft spot. He began to gently suck it.

                I let out a slight moan as he ran his cold hands under my shirt. I grabbed his hips and moaned again as he began to suck at my neck harder.

                He began to grind his lower half against mine. He kissed down my neck to my collar bone. He pulled my shirt off and threw it to the floor, kissing down my stomach to my waistline.

                He grabbed my jeans and began to unbutton them. Logical thought burst through my lust-filled haze and I gently pulled Zeke’s hands away from my jeans.

                “Not until I’m ready,” I said simply, pecking his lips.

                He nodded and blushed deeply. “Sorry,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck before grabbing my shirt off the floor and handing it to me. I didn’t bother to put it back on.

                I would be ready when I was positive that Zeke wouldn’t leave me to try to get back with Kory. When our relationship wasn’t so fragile. When I was in love with Zeke, and maybe when he loved me back.

                I pulled Zeke back down and cuddled up to him. He smiled softly and wrapped his arms around me, kissing me gently.

                “So what are we up to today Tommy?” Zeke asked after about a half hour of us lying in the comfortable silence together.

                I shrugged, trying to come up with something for the two of us to do. “We could go down and get some ice cream,” I said with another shrug. Eh, it was more than Zeke had apparently come up with for us to do.

                Zeke nodded and we got off his bed together. We went downstairs and Zeke’s dad gave us money before we left the house.

                Zeke bent down in front of me and I raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to butt rape you or…?”

                Zeke sighed. “I was offering to give you a piggy back ride!” he whined.

                I hopped on his back and he steadied me before starting off towards the ice cream place. I rested my head on his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

                “It’s going to rain,” Zeke said, glancing at the sky.

                “Gee did the fact that the sky looks like it’s the apocalypse give that away, genius?” I asked sarcastically.

                Zeke pouted. “Tommy, you are an awfully mean person,” he grumbled.

                “I’m a nice guy,” I said and Zeke snorted. “About as nice as Dean Corll,” he grumbled.

                “I think you and Dean would be best friends. Since, you know, you seem to like it up the ass,” I said.

                “I was offering you a piggy back ride!” he whined. “Don’t tempt me to drop you!”

                “Oh what a scary thought. I’d have to walk a whole three feet,” I said, pointing at the door of the ice cream place which was right in front of us.

                Zeke set me down carefully and took my hand in his. We went into the ice cream place and ordered before sitting down together with our ice cream.

                “Is this all we’re doing today?” Zeke asked curiously.

                I shrugged. “We can do whatever you want to do Zeke,” I said. I thought for a minute. “Well, almost whatever you want to do. We have some boundaries. I’d like to remain a virgin, I don’t want to wind up in jail, and I’d really rather not bury any bodies.”

                Zeke pouted deeply. “You suck the fun out of everything,” he grumbled.

                I leaned over and kissed him. “You’re too adorable,” I said calmly, leaning back in my seat. I eyed him, drinking in his appearance, making sure I had it memorized.

                I can’t believe I had come so close to actually breaking up with Zeke. I had been crushing on him since the beginning of Tommy Time. That translated to about 3 or so years.

                We had been sitting alone at a fire one night, just making smores. The rest of the soccer team had passed out in tents that we had set up on Coach’s deck. We had just won the summer U-14 championship, and were celebrating with a campout and a bonfire.

                I simply looked up to ask Zeke if he was tired, and found myself realizing how deeply I felt for him. We had taken a walk in the moonlight, talking casually. Zeke was 14, I was 12. And the rest was history, as they say.

                Now here I sat, holding hands with him and eating ice cream. Dating. Dating the boy of my dreams, and nearly giving him up just because my emotions were screwing with my head.

                Rational thought was slowly starting to come back to me. Juliet. I had to distance myself from her. I got too vulnerable when my emotions started messing with me. If she saw that, she would easily take advantage of it, and then everything between me and Zeke really would be ruined for good.

                I was gay. I knew for a fact that I was gay. Now that I was thinking much more clearly, I knew that I didn’t have feelings for Juliet. A very, very slight curiosity for her, but even that was nearly gone from me now.

                “Zeke, I want to practice at the soccer field tomorrow with some of the guys. Invite whoever you want,” I said, my voice calm and casual. Zeke smiled weakly and nodded.

                If he invited Kory and Trace, fine. So be it. I wasn’t going to hurt Kory. I wasn’t a violent person. Zeke could stare at him and drool over him the whole time. Let him. I guess I was testing my boyfriend now. I was such a great guy, huh?

                Zeke was thoughtfully finishing up his ice cream, and I forced myself to stay calm, fighting off the nervousness trying to rise in me. Was he thinking about me, or Kory? And how long would this fragile relationship between us last? 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A.N.- Who do you guys think Zeke was thinking about? Tommy or Kory? ;D