I recommend rereading //realizations// before reading this one, just for a refresher.

I'm pretty sure this is one of the worst pieces of literature I have ever pulled out of my ass, but it is inevitable, considering that most of it was written during ungodly hours of the night and I can't even take myself seriously once 1:00 am hits.

For the record, it is 4:20 am as I post this. That should tell you a lot.

-----

I hesitated in front of the kitchen door, knowing who lay inside, waiting for me. Ray stood beside me while I collected myself, unquestioning and quiet, his hand still warm in mine. I eventually reached toward the door, and released Ray's hand at the same time. It would be a lie to say I wouldn't miss the comfort he brought, but I knew that I needed to do this without him.

I met everyone's faces; their eyes expecting but not nearly as pressuring as I'd thought they would be. Yuugo was in there now too, and he caught my eye and gave me a subtle reassuring nod.

Mujika rose from a seat she'd taken and grabbed Cozbi gently by the arm to lead her out of the room. Cozbi reluctantly complied, though she gave me a goofy salute as she was pulled away. Before the door closed on her, she did the 'I'm watching you' gesture between herself and the others. I smiled a little at that despite myself, before looking to those waiting patiently.

I noticed that Ray had taken a seat at one of the tables, and I took in a shaky breath. It was odd, to say the least, standing before them this way. I wanted to run away more than a little, but hell if I was going to have to do this all over again.

"So..." My breath caught in my throat a moment as I figured what to say while I had their attention. "I... owe you all an apology," I started off stating the obvious. "I lied about the promise's reward– twice, technically... Really, the reward was that I had to stay behind in the demon world." It was hard to know how much they wanted to hear from me. Hell, everything about this was hard. "There was a condition that all of you had to think I was dead. Either your memories were rewritten to have my death in them, or I had someone convince you all I was dead.

"I know you've probably figured this much already. I just wanted you... to hear it from my own mouth." I took in a shaky breath, and my eyes glanced quickly over everyone in the room. "In all honesty, the last thing I was expecting two months ago was for all of you to show up. I don't know if you noticed from all the, uh, smoke and explosions, but I kind of had... a lot on my plate at the time," I joked, and then cringed at myself. "It's not an excuse. Sorry for running away... –And for coming back like 80% dead–"

"–More like 98%."

I shook my head with a smile and an internal groan. "Thank you for your input, Zack, much obliged. Sure, let's go with 98% dead." My smile faltered. "I know I should have talked things over with you. Since before that, too. Since the very beginning, in fact. For that, I'm also sorry.

"I want to thank you all for coming. So thanks, everyone." I smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck. "I said I didn't expect it, but it was a nice surprise. I mean, it would have been a bit nicer under slightly different circumstances. ...Man, I am really sorry about that.

"...I don't plan to run anymore. Next time... well, if there is a next time, I will talk things over with everyone. I don't know if I'm worthy of that second chance... well, it doesn't really matter whether I know that or not, because it isn't up to me anyway."

I knew it wasn't; if they said they would give me another chance, that they would forgive me, I would accept that, and try not to question their forgiveness. If they told me they couldn't, they couldn't forgive me, I would accept that too, and I'd try to thank them with a smile.

Anything not to hurt them again.

There was a pause, a contemplation, an empty space in which no one spoke. It was my turn to wait. Then Poppy rose to her feet, and walked over. She took my hands into hers and smiled. "I was upset, but if I'm being honest, not too surprised." She pulled me into a hug, lifting her chin to rest it on my head. "You've always been that way. But... even if you were to change..." –she gave me a little squeeze– "you'd always be our Y/N, you know?"

And I knew; the coffee from earlier I'd quite literally cried over had made that much obvious. In the brief silence that followed Poppy's words, no one offered a disagreement, and instead their smiles confirmed they all felt similarly. (Ray's passive look was just a little harder to decipher.)

"I think most of us are just more relieved you're okay, than anything," Emma added. "I can't even remember what I was so upset about!"

"–I'm pretty sure that's just a 'you' thing," Hannah muttered, and I chuckled lowly. She was the same as always. Of course, she was right. Close family convincing you they were dead as a result of a deal they lied and said death wasn't going to be the result of isn't really something you forget about so quickly. But this was Emma we were talking about, and something like that was totally becoming of her.

"Well," while I was thinking, Hannah had walked up to me, with the same pissed expression as usual. She reached, as if in slow-motion, I watched dumbly as she pinched my side and then gave it a little twist.

"Ow!"

"I'll consider forgiving you now," she said, and then took her seat again while I rubbed my stinging side.

"Anyway," Emma said, pulling gently on my arm. "How are you?"

I blinked. "Hm–? Well er– I mean, I'm alive, despite my new injury," — I shot Hannah a look, and then looked back at Emma to smile. "I'm also happy to see you."

Emma smiled brightly. "Me too! So much!" She pulled me into a hug so tight I thought I was going to crack another rib. As she pulled away, she looked at me with a grin. "I wanna hear about everything!"

"...Everything...?" I was a little unsettled by how well this was going, and how easily she was talking to me. Then I remembered who it was I was talking to.

"Mujika said you've been busy," she furthered. "So I want to hear what you've been up to! What do you all think?"

The others shrugged.

"I, for one, wanna know where you learned to jump off a building without dying," Poppy raised a hand.

"That was–"

"I feel like you guys are forgetting something important..." Zack added as he looked to me. "Like, you know, what happened in the course of three days that had you bleeding out on the floor?"

"Er–"

"All in good time," Norman hummed, patting the other boy on the shoulder. "Which," he furthered as his blue eyes met mine, "for the record, we happen to have a lot of."

Well, there went the 'it's a long story' excuse.

That was how I ended up seated in the Grace Field (plant 2) kitchen, surrounded by even more expectant gazes. Amazingly, despite the horrors that the place was related to, the house was significantly more comfortable than the fluorescent white of the HQ. I'd let Emma and the others lead me back outside all the way here.

Poppy was handing out mugs again, and this time my eyebrows raised as I took a sip. "Hot chocolate?"

"We can't be having coffee at this time of night," she shrugged. "I found your old stash."

"My stash??"

"What? It's not like you're using it."

Everyone soon settled at the memory-filled table– (Yuugo had taken some time to wander around and look at the house, probably out of curiosity of where we'd been raised.) To those who had grown here, the house always looked smaller than it was in our memories. Because of that, the area was nostalgic and somehow a little off-putting at the same time.

"...How are the others?" I eventually asked, equally curious as I was stalling for time.

"Pretty good," Emma hummed, resting her chin on her hands after taking a moment to think. "It... affected everyone differently, you know?"

I nodded glumly, glancing down to the mug of hot chocolate. Poppy reclined on her chair, her hands propped behind her head as she looked up to the ceiling. "Well... they all know what we're here for anyway, so the last we saw of them, they were all pretty excited–"

"You told them?!" I sputtered, rising from my seat. "But– like– what if I really was dead?!"

"That's what I said," Yuugo grumbled, "–and I was the only one who knew for a fact that the 'promise' was a lie."

"Jeez..." I sighed, sitting back down.

"You know," Poppy continued, great at unknowingly aiding in my stalling, "all of us basically had to fight to come along. Isn't it ridiculous! Ray was gonna take Norman and Emma and dip!"

"That... is totally unsurprising..."

"You should have seen how pissed he was when I told Yuugo," Norman sighed. "Even better, Yuugo got angry we were planning behind his back and insisted he come along."

"Good thing I did, else y'all woulda died."

Zack raised a hand as he spoke. "Mr. Genius asked me to come then. Because I'm such a badass."

"–Because you're a medic," Norman corrected. "Then you went on and blabbed to Oliver–"

"I heard those two talking about it," Poppy continued, "and said I was coming, and then Reina figured me out and insisted on coming too, and then Hayato got upset and somehow Hannah found out and threw a fit–"

"Excuse me?! I didn't throw a fit–"

"And this brat thought we should just go ahead and tell everyone," Yuugo gestured to Emma, who ducked her head in apology.

"Sorry..." the ginger tittered, scratching her cheek. "I thought they all deserved to know."

"There was some backlash, but then like everyone wanted to come–"

"Especially Vincent, surprisingly enough."

"Well, I'm pretty sure just didn't want Norman to go anywhere without him."

I rolled my eyes. "Why else would he come? Football head and I don't really get along." Quick, Y/N, keep stalling! "How did you guys end up being chosen?"

"We set a rule that they had to be proficient with guns and over the age of 12," Poppy started. "Daisy did not like that. Then everyone who fit the criteria and wanted to go did a rock paper scissors tournament– Which I won, by the way.

"Norman and Ray didn't have to do it 'cause they made the plan, though. And Yuugo 'cause we needed to be 'supervised.' Apparently he and Lucas arm-wrestled for the spot."

Zack crossed his arms with a huff. "He let Yuugo win. Have you seen his arm? If Yuugo won, he must have used both hands."

"Or we talked it out like adults," Yuugo scoffed.

"–I'm sorry, you guys chose the  people to come to a human-hostile world with a rock-paper-scissors tournament??" I interjected. "That sounds like something I would do!" I took a sip of hot chocolate before furthering. "Okay, so that's how you figured who to bring, but how the hell did you guys even get here in the first place?"

"We used the loophole in the promise," Norman hummed. "How it only went one way?"– he jabbed a thumb at Ray– "His idea. We also burned down part of Mike Ratri's property where there was a hidden elevator pathway."

"That was his idea, for the record." Ray had to make clear.

I looked between him and Norman, unsure of whether to be appalled or proud. "There was no idea a bunch of geniuses could come up with that didn't involve arson??–Not that I disapprove, of course, but what if you got arrested!"

Norman shrugged. "We would have figured it out."

"–My ass! Okay, so you committed a felony. What next?" I asked, leaning forward at the table expectantly. The others obliged, and began telling of what happened from then, until the moment they entered the demon world, until when they finally found me.

They bickered half the time, and I couldn't help but smile as I watched them. It was all so familiar.

Eventually, Norman was rubbing his temples in that tired old-man manner. "Hannah wouldn't stop asking where we were every five minutes," he complained.

"–Hey, at least I didn't delay the group like two days because I kept stopping everyone to double-check calculations!" Hannah shot back.

"We didn't have a map!"

Yuugo leaned close to me with an 'I'm so done with this' expression. "I was dealing with this for weeks. It's a miracle no one killed the other. I thought the scary albino was finally gonna snap towards the end there."

I stifled a chuckle at his use of the old nickname, my smile coming more readily with each passing minute. The others soon explained their arrival at the capital– how Ray and Emma had met Mujika before heading back out again, and how they had later ran in to me (purely by coincidence, at that). (You'd think a bunch of top-scorers would easily be able to track my flailing ass through the capital, but apparently not.) (Yes, I said that out loud.)

The group settled down as they began recounting the end of their travel, running out of details to explain. The pause that followed that was quickly broken by Poppy. "–Ray and Cozbi rode with eachother to Grace Field," she said in a single breath. Immediately, Emma stifled giggles that could only be explained by how late it was getting. Ray cut her a glare and she couldn't help but giggle more.

I leaned forward at the table with a surprised smile. "Really?" I looked to Ray and his annoyed expression made it very clear he did not want this conversation to continue. Of course, this only piqued my interest, as I turned back to the others.

"They did," Zack grumbled, "and they fought non-stop the whole way."

"It wasn't funny at the time but in retrospect?" Emma giggled again. "Hilarious."

"Let me get this straight, I was sitting there, bleeding out and on the verge of death, and those two had the gal to bicker the whole way?" This was way more fun than I expected. "I mean sure, I'd expect nothing less from Cozbi, but you're telling me Mr. Uptight over there?"

"–Let it be 'gotten straight' that the two of you have bickered in far worse situations," Yuugo called us out mercilessly.

"Exactly!" Emma interrupted. "That's why I was surprised to see someone else bring that out of him!"

"She's the worst," Ray interjected. "Like–"

"–'Y/N but 'way more obnoxious?' Or rather, 'Y/N but worse?'" Norman finished, as if he'd heard it a dozen times before. (And judging by his bored tone, he probably had.)

"–I'll have you know, I'm Y/N but better in every way." Cozbi said from the doorway, undoubtably after escaping from Mujika to track us here. I watched as Ray amazingly receded into the background within seconds of hearing her voice.

I rolled my eyes playfully as Cozbi waltzed into the room like she owned the place. "Oh, we both know that's not possible, Cozbi. After all, I'm already so perfect in every way!"

Cozbi walked over from behind and wrapped her arm around me in a way that seemed like a strange hug but very quickly turned into a headlock. "Is that so? 'Lotta attitude coming from someone who just woke up from a coma!"

"Surprise, bitch, I lived!" I reached up a hand to pinch her arm. "Now get your smelly arm offa me!"

Poppy leaned over to whisper in Emma's ear. "Carbon copies."

"–In the same room," Norman added, voice filled with dread.

Ray was not having it, as he brought himself to Cozbi's attention in order to speak. "They are totally not the same–"

"Oh, c'mon loverboy, no need to insult her!" Cozbi started, and I looked up from my position trying (and failing) to push Cozbi's arm off of my head. Not one moment later, the demon clapped her hands over my ears. "Let her believe we're on the same level!"

"I'm pretty sure that if that was an insult it was directed at you," I replied, pulling her hands away. "Plus, we aren't really the same–" Before I could make my joke, I was interrupted by Zack.

"Yeah," he agreed strangely fast. "I mean, it's blatantly obvious. Just look! She can't pass for a dwarf, but you, on the other hand–"

I froze in place. "Okay, so firstly Zack, f**k you, secondly, I can't pass for a dwarf, and thirdly, f**k you!"

"You could fool me," he snickered. "The resemblance you have to 'Dopey' is uncanny." Somehow, I wasn't the least bit surprised that one of the things he had completed whilst in the human world was watch Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs.

"Shut it, you Fi-Fi-Fo-Fum-looking ass."

"It hasn't been this noisy since 2047," Yuugo complained, undoubtedly wishing there was more mature adults in the room. Unfortunately for him, Zack only fit 1/2 of that criteria.

I grinned, crossing my arms on the table. "You know you missed me."

"Wait, so, what's a 'Dopey??'" Cozbi asked.

Everyone quickly looked from her to the door as it was flung open to reveal Mujika. "There you are!" she walked quickly over to Cozbi who inched away nervously. "I said to give them time alone!" The demon queen reached up and grabbed Cozbi by the ear to pull her out of the room.

"Oh, come on, auntie! I'm just– Ow!"

The door closed again on the two demons and we settled back into a more quiet mood. "How did you two meet?" Emma eventually asked. "You seem close."

I coughed nervously. "It's... uh... It's a long story." How is one supposed to explain their 'friendship' started with a kidnapping attempt?

"What about the situation that had you bleeding out on the castle library floor?" Poppy added slyly. "Another long story?"

"That's... uh, somehow even longer of a story..." (considering it involved a number of sub-plots in order to fully understand the 'how' and 'why').

"We've got time," Ray hummed, like the asshole he was, knowing exactly what I was going to have to admit to as he'd listened to me explain it to Yuugo earlier.

"–As I mentioned earlier," Norman agreed.

Bitches, the both of them.

"Talk!" Emma smacked her hands down on the table. Oh, I realized, I was getting ganged up on now. "That's what we're here for!"

"It's almost three in the morning–"

"Like that ever stopped you!"

I cringed, sighed, and then drained the rest of my now-warm hot-chocolate. "Okay–" I started, setting down the mug. "Okay. We'll have to start a while ago, though. And no getting angry at me! It's too late for that!"

"Oh, I'm looking forward to this already," Norman pinched the bridge of his nose.

I jabbed a finger in his direction. "Of all the people here, you do not get to speak, owl-haver!"

"Get on with it already!" Hannah snapped. "And tell the whole story, not just the parts that make you look cool!"

I flipped some hair over my shoulder. "Oh, Hannah, you should know by now; everything makes me look cool. I just can't help it!" I sighed, shaking my head. "–Okay, that was a lie, most of this is gonna make me look stupid."

"–Like that's anything new."

"If you're gonna make me talk then shut up and listen!" I sat up to let them know I was done stalling, and everyone sort-of did the same thing to show they were ready.

"So," I began my long story, edged on by their once-again expectant gazes. "After I made the promise, Sonju and Mujika brought me back to the castle. In the beginning, I avoided attracting too much attention, and I didn't leave often. I would frequently visit X in Day and Night to... uh... build a rapport...? He would later make a request for a girls' night, aka sleepover, with some female demons I had yet to make friends with. A bit before that, I got a visit from the one and only Leuvis–"

Oh, judging by their expressions, we were off to a great start already.

-----

By the time I was finally catching up, everyone looked tired. Which could either be because of how late it was getting, or by how many twists and turns there were in my story.

More than once, I started to leave something out, and Yuugo would give me a look, knowing that he'd heard the full story from me earlier. But he would leave it alone, and I would continue. I was still getting used to this whole 'being totally out in the open' thing. Which was made abundantly clear by the fact I was still withholding a major secret I suspected they all had (at minimum) a vague idea about.

I hoped some day I would be able to tell them everything, but that was for a time when they weren't all half-asleep. I mean, I wasn't even sure Poppy was awake, looking at the way her face was pressed into the table.

"–And that's how I ended up in the library," I finished. My arms were folded on the table and my chin rested on top of them, as I felt the pull of sleep starting to tug at my mind.

"...You weren't kidding... when you said it was a long story," Poppy was, in fact, awake, though she remained face-down, her voice slurred with sleep. "I didn't know someone could be so busy... in such little time."

"...You told them?!" Norman repeated once again. He was still not over how I revealed my humanity to Cozbi's clan.

"It worked out!" I mumbled. "Everything worked out! I'm alive... And I said 'no getting angry!'"

"I'm not angry, I just didn't know your lack of self-preservation could be even more lacking!"

"–And the part that irks you most is not when I half-let Leuvis stab me in the gut, but when I told them I was human?"

"Neither of those are optimal– Of course, at least the stab-wound was treatable–!"

"Mhm..." I let my eyes close as I felt another wave of sleep wash over me.

"–But being eaten alive–?! Not so much–!"

"Well, it's a good thing that didn't happen then," I yawned, shifting positions.

"It could have–!!"

"That's it, I can't take your bickering anymore!" Yuugo groaned. "Everyone to bed! Get up! Go!"

"But Yuugo..."

A sudden snore reverberated through the room, though at first I mistook it for a bomb or world-shaking fart and flung up from my barely awake position. Emma and I shared eye-contact for a moment and stifled sudden snickers. Poppy snored again, and this time the snickers were cackles that had her startling awake.

"Bed!" Yuugo repeated loudly. "Get! Now! Move!"

"Chill out dude!" I said through a giggle-filled sigh. "We're going!" Emma, the others, and I started towards the exit. "-That means you too, sleepy cyclops" I grabbed Ray's hood to drag him up out of the room with me.

"Don't call me that," he mumbled.

"Okay then, loverboy," I hummed. I was not expecting Cozbi to call him that, of all things. The second I heard it, the way Ray had receded into the background the second she entered the room made infinitely more sense. "I am not going to let you live that down."

In response, Ray grumbled something I couldn't quite make out. I suspected he would not repeat it this time, if I asked him to.

Poppy pulled open the door to one of the three mass-bedrooms all Grace Field houses have. "It's dusty as shit in here!" She exclaimed. Still, she flopped down on one of the dusty beds and I coughed as I got a face-full of the very stuff. I startled as Norman sneezed so hard he doubled over and kneed himself in the gut.

"Oh my– what??" I blinked. "Are you– Huh??"

"Ugh..." Norman groaned, and picked up the blankets from one of the other open beds. He tried to shake it out and then sneezed again before giving up and lying on the bed.

Emma climbed into another one of the old beds with her ever-present smile. "Oh," she sighed, "I missed these mattresses!"

"Mmm..." I scooted onto the bed beside her and propped my hands behind my head as I laid down. "You're telling me there wasn't a single bed in the human world more comfortable than these?"

"It's just nostalgic."

"Nostalgic? This hellhole?"

"We have some good memories!" There was a slight pause before a shifting of blankets as Emma turned on her side. "Hey," she whispered, "remember that time when Norman–"

"Please, don't start," Norman begged, his face muffled by his pillow.

Another pillow hit me in the face. "Shut up," Hannah seethed.

"–Why are you targeting me??" I complained rightfully, pulling the pillow off of my face.

"'Cause you suck."

"Wow."

There was a pause as the others began to drift off to sleep. "Good night," Emma called tiredly, and several people mumbled barely comprehensible responses, including myself.

I soon found myself staring blankly up at the ceiling, though I was beyond tired, as the room was filled with the quiet ambience of sleep. There was something I was forgetting, as my exhausted mind struggled to recall what it was. Suddenly, I did, and I picked up the pillow from my stomach and chucked it across the room.

"...What was that for?" Ray grumbled, sounding as half-asleep as I felt.

"Hmm..." I blinked. What was it for? ...Oh, right.

"...Happy Birthday," I said sleepily, and then yawned, settling into a comfortable position. I had hoped I would be the first to say it, because I had missed it last year. "'Night."

I was asleep before I had the chance to hear his response.

-----

I know this one guy who yells when he sneezes.

He's in my art class and the first time he did it I genuinely thought a rabid dog was barking or someone with a bad cold had just stabbed themselves with a pottery knife. Everyone went quiet. Then, "it's just this mf, he yells when he sneezes." It was an experience that haunts me to this day. He's done it a few more times since then, and every time, it sounds even less like a sneeze and even more like an old mule getting the heimlich maneuver.

That's the sneeze I imagined when I wrote that Norman sneeze and yes, it was past 2:00 am and yes, I had to take a break from writing to laugh and drink some water.

On another note, this chap was supposed to be sad and boring and bittersweet, and then I couldn't write it, so I thought "hey, why not write something a little fun instead," and then most of it was written between the hours of 1:00 and 4:00 AM, hence why you get this.

I'm sorry I can hear that sneeze in my whole body I can't the whole desk shook "HAUUAUGH" that's what it was like okay. HE YELLED. BRAYED. I'M DONE.