So, before you begin reading, Y'ALL ARE CONFLICTED ASF I STG. 

Some of y'all still think Peter Ratri is a rat and Y/N should let him die, (and I mean understandable, especially if you haven't read chapter 173 of the manga), and some of you thought Y/N was rEALLY COOL last chap. (And I mean, she was, so fair enough)

But for me, after rereading chapter 173, I rethought all of my life choices- I can see both James Ratri's point and also Peter Rat's- I mean, both sides opinions are reasonable. In fact, from the Ratri clan's POV, James is the villain, (for sacrificing the safety of the world for the sake of a few sacrifices in comparison), and Peter is the hero, (for sacrificing his brother (who he obviously loved a lot), and the cattle children to save the entire world) (Although, admittedly, he could've gone about it differently)

LIKE SERIOUSLY, if this manga had been written from the point of Peter Ratri, we probably would've had a very different view on things. As things are, we, (as the readers of the manga) were first introduced to the cattle children and their struggles and losses, so it makes it a lot easier to hate him and forget that he's human. 

YEAH IK Y'ALL PROBABLY DIDN'T WANT TO READ DEEP SH*T LIKE THIS IN A CRACKHEADISH STORY, BUT YEAH.

hope you enjoy this chapter- eventhoughihadnoideawhatwasgoingtohappeninituntilistartedwritingahaahhaha-!!

Also, if you really want to understand this chapter, please read chapter 173 and the first part of chapter 174 before you read :)) (although some of you probably wont be able to hold back, so maybe read it after?)

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"You... want to what?" The man murmured out, his confusion evident on his face. Despite being several inches taller than me, he appeared small and confused in my wake. 

"Live on with you." I answered simply, his attention completely directed to me. "I know you've done a lot of bad. But from your point of view... it easily could've been good. For the sake of justice." I sighed, a small smile coming onto my face. "Even if these kids can't forgive you yet, perhaps you have a chance to regain their forgiveness someday. You can repent for your sins."

The tall man's eyes softened into an expression I wasn't expecting. I watched in surprise as he knelt in front of me, coming eye to eye with my gaze. "I see..." He hummed in amusement, his green eyes feeling as if they were staring into my soul, his words seeming as if he had just solved a problem he'd been mulling over for a long time. "There really was something else behind those eyes of yours." 

We stared eye to eye, child to adult, green to blue, farmer to cattle, as the world around us seemed come into focus. From the quiet, barely audible breaths of the Goldy Pond children hiding nearby, to the sound of Emma's hands brushing against her jacket, even the sound of Ray's hands clenching and unclenching on his gun, I felt as if I was aware of everything.

Peter's eyes closed with a smile, my heart racking in my chest. He raised his hand and placed it on my head as I stayed stock still, unaware of what he'd do next, and unable to move because of such. However, as soon as the knife behind his left wrist flicked into his hand, I sprung back to a safe distance away, my hand resting on my gun holster.

"Y/N-!!"

"See?" Peter hummed, a boastful expression on his face. "After all that talk, you're still afraid of me."

I swallowed dryly, realizing my mistake. I immediately relaxed my body, my ears ringing from the pressure I was under, my hand dropping from my gun to my side, my shoulders straightening, a bead of sweat rolling down my neck. "Anyone would react like that if you pulled a knife on them." I reasoned.

Peter hummed in amusement. "Of course." He grinned, switching his grip on his knife. "Then, Y/N," He raised an eyebrow, inclining his chin. "I have a question for you."

My head tilted slightly in confusion, blinking several times as I chewed on the inside of my cheek in anticipation. "Ask away."

The man nodded with a smile, spreading his hand with the knife to the side as he asked his question. "If you knew that saving my life would jeopardize the plans of escape, would you still try?"

"Yes." I answered without missing a beat, although my hear seemed to skip one or two.

Peter's eyebrows raised. "And why is that?" He inquired curiously.

"Because no matter how hard you tried to jeopardize the plans, I'd kick your *ss before you could." I answered, my own eyebrows raising in kind. 

The Ratri clan head let out a laugh. "How amusing, Y/N. Then, here's another question." He leaned forward despite my , green eyes sparkling in a way that sent chills into my bones. "If you knew, for a fact, that saving me would cost you the lives of one of your comrades, say, for example," His eyes quickly scanned the room. "that black-haired friend of yours," He finished, my shoulders tensing once again. "Would you still try?"

My palms turned cold. "No." I answered without another moment's hesitation, swallowing dryly once again. "If it was for a fact, I wouldn't." I reaffirmed as Peter Ratri relished in his moment of triumph, his smile widening in amusement. "But-" I continued, my eyes narrowing. "It's not a fact. It's not a given. And I wouldn't let that happen, anyway."

Peter's gaze changed from its cold, amused, look to one of momentary confusion. "I see..." He hummed, the look on his face relaxing once again, the tension in my body beginning to finally release. "Thanks for the offer, Y/N." The man spoke with a smile, his own shoulders slackening in something akin to relief. "But." His smile widened as the world slowed down, a rare occurrence which always sent my ears ringing. "I think I'll be turning you down." My shoulders went rigid, my heart catching in my throat. "You've underestimated how many sins I've committed. I'm afraid I can't repent for them in any other way."

In an instant, he flicked the knife in his hands up to his throat and dragged it across the fleshy surface, blood spraying out before I could hope to react. "Peter-!!" Emma and I yelled as we ran towards him. 

"ZACK-!!" I screamed as I knelt by the man's body. "GRAB THE FIRST AID-!!" I turned to the man on the floor, his white strands of hair splayed around him, and yanked off my jacket, pressing the fabric to the wound as blood soon soaked through the fabric. 'Just a life I wanted to save for the point of winning.' I reassured myself, as blood soaked through the fabric and my fingers, turning everything in my vision red. "Stay alive." I murmured, as if in a trance as I continued pressing the bloody jacket against his neck. 'Just a sneaky little rat who nearly cost us so many lives.' 

Zack soon arrived with the first aid, swapping my jacket for gauze and antibiotics against the long-haired man's wound. I scooted out of the way for him, taking my jacket with him, trembling hands gripping onto it's surface. There was so much blood. He was going to die. "Ah..." I muttered as I watched him go, unable to do anything to help as the man passed away at my knees. 'I was only doing it so Emma wouldn't suffer.' 

My heart rose to my throat as the smiling man's breath was finally gone, the first life I'd tried to save lost. 'So why..' My vision began to blur, as shoulders trembled. 'Why am I crying like this?'

•

•

•

As his consciousness faded away, the last thing Peter Ratri saw was the face of a young girl, her mouth moving as she spoke words unintelligible his ears. 'You know...' Peter thought to himself as his eyes closed, the image of Y/N calling out to him still within his field of vision, even so.'That world you spoke of, of innocents and sinners... I think it would've been nice.' He smiled to himself, unbeknownst that the very smiling expression was being displayed on his face. 'But, you were wrong about something, Y/N.'  He sighed as he was really leaving, his last thought forever lingering on his mind. 'No matter what you think, you are not a sinner.' 

'The world you are trying to create... is one full of innocents after all.

And there was no room for someone like me.'

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Yeah, that's it for this chap, even though it was short, lol. I couldn't think of anything else to add to it, even tho I'm still writing, so I'm working on the next one. 

In short, there might be another chapter released today. Don't count on it, though. 

LMAO ILY BEBS ❤️❤️